A complaint not followed up with a solution is whining.

A complaint followed up with a solution means you have a valid complaint. Here’s why.

If it can be fixed then something is happening that is causing stress. This stress is causing an emotional stir in the ocean within. This stress could be showing up in physical symptoms.

This is about emotional and mental health not about anything being right or wrong.

What is causing the stress?

Why is it causing stress?

What can realistically be done to change the situation to discontinue the feeling of stress?

When I was working in the corporate world I was asked since I had seemed to think I had all the answers to go with all my complaints to do something about it and was given the project of redesigning the operating model for customer service for a fortune 100 company.

Using this as an example let’s walk through my thought process and see if we can find the holes.

Most of the complaints centered around not enough face time between supervisors and representatives and supervisors taking up to 30 escalated calls a day.

Before redesigning this model I was such a regular at the bar I went to after work that after I had stopped going for a year, I made it one night and before I could even open the door my usual drink was on the bar waiting for me.

Anyone think this is healthy behavior?

I was stressed out because my people were in my face about needing my time and my bosses were in my face because my people were in my face. I was getting yelled at 30 times a day by customers. I was not the only one. It had become the norm in the call center.

Most of my leadership material came from the my design model to make it better for everyone involved. The solution I came up with was to add something old and give it a twist. A few years before I started at the company they used to have a lead position to assist the supervisor so they could focus on the people.

Adding the lead I added defined roles and responsibilities for us to work in a synergistic union with the core idea being training the lead to be me. I always felt part of my job was to train my replacement and if I was as good as I could be I would have more than one waiting in the wings for when I moved up.

Adding the lead gave me more float time to float from representative to representative to check in and see how they were doing. It gave me more time to get to know them as human beings and see the stress they were under and gave me opportunities to alleviate that stress if possible. With this company I had spent a year on the phones as a rep and understood the pressures of the job. Did I mention it was health insurance customer service?

When dealing with peoples money and their health empathy was at the core of everything we trained our people to provide our customers with. Taking my favorite interview question and my favorite answer to that question left me with some integrity to walk.

If I do not feel like you care about me, I am going to give you my bare minimum and nothing else.

If I do not feel like you want to know anything about me, I am going to be completely apathetic towards you and anything you want.

If I do not feel valued by you, I will not value anything you have to offer me.

We all do this.

We all feel this way and if you want to lead, it has to start with you and it has to start with you caring about them and letting that show. You have to show them you care about them to your own detriment.

You have to show them you will sacrifice your wants and your needs to make sure they are taken care of.

You have to actually care about them more than you care about you. If you cannot do that, you cannot lead a rock.

People will do what you say because of your title, but you will never actually lead them because there is a huge difference between compliance and following a leader.

Remember the concept, the king serves his subjects.

To best serve your direct reports you have to know what they need as an individual human being to perform better. Each of us is different and it takes different motivations. For some people just hearing thank you on occasion is all they need. Some people need someone to dump on and vent their work frustrations to. Having that person around makes the job easier, does it not?

The point here is that you need to figure out how to be what they need when they need it and that is not an easy thing to do. It gets easier the better you know your people. It becomes easier to anticipate their reactions and gage your message based on how you have seen them receive like messages. Your experience with them will be your greatest teacher in how to inspire and motivate them.

Pay attention when they think you are not. You will be surprised at what you learn. Ask them questions about themselves and the stuff they keep on their desk. Listen to what they say and if need be make notes when you get back to your desk.

You will only be as good as you prepare to be.

This means that before every interaction with a direct report you need to prepare for it by reviewing everything you know and thinking about what you want this interaction to be. Remember you have the responsibility of exemplifying the standard of what this interaction should be. You cannot break. You have to be prepared for anything.

What do you know about what is going in Bob’s life right now?

What message do I want to convey to Bob?

How does Bob respond to this type of discussion?

What questions is Bob likely to ask?

How am I going to answer those questions?

These are all things that should be a part of your mental checklist every time you stop by to chat with someone.

What will surprise you is when you start doing this to your spouse and your friends after doing at work all day for a while. This approach changed the way I interact with people and I would say based on my experience it has made me a better father, a better friend and a better leader in whatever I choose to do.

Define a customer.

This is my all-time favorite interview question to ask. The answer I am looking for is this.

Everyone you interact with is a customer and every human interaction is a customer service interaction.

Think about that perspective for minute or thirty.

I’m a straight stone cold individualist.

The moment I find people around me giving me the sincerest form of flattery by taking on some of my mannerisms of speech, I change the way I talk so I can continue to be different. Some people say this looks like a mental illness to them, however here is the sanity of it in it’s intent and purpose.

Getting lost in a sea of clones is not my idea of a good time. However at the same time no matter how independent any of us is in thought we can not escape that in reality we are interdependent on each other for life.

This is inescapable truth.

There is no such thing as being a self made anything. Other people had to exist for you to have the experiences that you used to create the idea of you that is who you are right now.

This quote sums up leadership in one shot in my opinion. Here’s why.

True leadership simply sees a need and either does something about it or finds the right people to get it done.

That’s it.

A true leader is in service by the very definition of identifying and fulfilling needs.

A true leader is in service at all times to everything around them.

You can only truly lead from the middle. It’s where you have the best view of everything going on. The view will always be skewed however from the middle you get a better idea of the needs to be filled and who can do it if you can’t.

Leadership understands the interdependence that is the reality of life.

Everything we do is an inspired action. Something inspired us to do whatever it is we are doing and at times that influence is coming from multiple places.

Even though we are independent in making the choice to engage in action, without the others, there is nothing.

We are all connected and each of us at the center of our own tribe so to speak. A tribe that is always in a circle with no one really in charge however everyone has a role so to speak.

I hung out with my tribe last night at the after party. It was fascinating to watch and see where I fit in perfectly. You know you found your tribe when time disappears and you appreciate that we are interdependent in the reality of life to really live. Being surrounded by individuals each and everyone distinct and their own kind of original, without the rest of the tribe it would be nothing.

Whether we like it or not life is a shared reality created by all of us which means we all share the responsibility of why the world looks the way it does.

I am not overly joyed about  it myself some days, however it does not change this simple yet powerful truth.

Our reality is dependent upon the choices each of us make in thought and action and spoken words.

Majick is every word we speak that is the never ending spell we weave.

It’s the Karmic Law equivalent of saying we reap what we sow and that includes every word that comes out of our mouths

We also reap from what we allow to be sown within us. Makes who you decide to let in your space a very important life choice.

Instead of thinking about planting a seed of what you want to do, think of it as throwing it up in the air with those who have similar end goals in mind. Let it be molded and shaped by as many who share the end goal view as you can find.  Each of you independent in your being and what brought you to the view that you just happen to share with those who can be of assistance in the interdependent area of building anything in life.

Any questions?