Everyone out.

Disconnect from everyone.

Now, I have some time to myself.

Turn Back Time is playing, and it’s got me thinking, what if I could turn back time?

What would I change?

Nothing.

If I changed the past, even one thing, my entire life would be different, and I wouldn’t be me.

Now, you’re getting it.

Yo. What have you got for me tonight?

That thing,  that’s been going through your mind, deal with it.

I don’t want to.

Ok, then I put you in the pain chamber. You remember the pain chamber.

Yeah, it’s where you turn up my physical empath response, and I feel everything. I’d really like it if you wouldn’t do that.

Then deal with your shit dick head.

So what do you suggest for dealing with stalkers?

What can you do?

Call the cops. However, it’s online that I have the problem. From Sweden, this woman won’t leave me alone. 

She’s creates false profiles and doesn’t get that that makes her even more detestastable to me.

Well, stay offline then.

No, I have people that I only know through the internet.

But I get it, all I can do is what I can do, and anyone can stalk anyone on Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram,  and other social media platforms.

Now, you happy?

Yes.

Actually, I’m at peace.  I stay at peace and mirror others’ emotions and pretend I’m a real boy.

Even if I could feel anything, what would I feel?

I remember feeling, and at some point, my emotions left, and all I can do is mirror.

Yep, that’s what you get for having an empathic overload.  Taking care of your dad for several years, he died two months before his body quit. You were keeping him alive.

I know,  you don’t want to hear it, but you need to be honest with yourself. And I’m making sure that’s the case.

Yeah.

Dad drained the fuck out of me and then my buddy, his girlfriend died and he called me, and then the overload. 

I understand what happened,  why am I dealing with it now?

Your dad.

I get it. I need to be at peace with dad’s death.  And I need to be at peace with my buddy, and I need to be at peace with all things.

Why again is that?

You know.

Yeah I do, but I look at everyone else,  and I look at me, and I’d like to fit in somewhere. I know I don’t,  unless I pretend,  mirror people. Giving them what they want and feeling lonely when I’m with them.

At times, people give me what I need, not very often, but they do.

If I’m honest, I get everything I need from people, even the ones that I don’t like,  what is it I need to change to quit seeing them.

Superstition,  fear, and jealousy.

Why does that sound familiar?

Dragula.

Got it.

What superstions are holding me back?

What is it, I fear?

Who am I jealous of?

I think I leave it here tonight. I wonder what my day will be like tomorrow, leaving these questions unanswered.

I’ve seen it before, I write something, and the next day…

It used freak me the fuck out, but after it’s happened thousands of times, I’m used to it.