I’m listening to SLEDGEHAMMER by Peter Gabriel.

Why?

I’m your sledgehammer, well we all are, and we all are behind you whatever you decide.

What?

You need to unlearn  and learn the correct path for a life that is a consciously chosen life. No subconcious interference. 

That’s right. I’ve made my way to ascending to the 5th dimension.

Now shit happens because I need it to. Whatever I desire, I can do it. 

All I have to do is wait.

I’ve seen it in my life.

Now I trust it. The universe is responding to who I am. Teaching me what I need to know through experience.

As you have different experiences your understanding will increase.

However, you’re not Zeus any longer. You will never have the power you once had.

You gave it up. Now, if you die, get recycled, you go to the bliss field with the rest of the souls.

And I don’t have to worry about that for another 4,950 years. So you say I can’t die?

How many people have you heard of living in level 10 pain for years?

No one.

I get it.

I’ve seen myself wondering how I’m living so many times.

One of my wives tried poisoning me with arsenic.  She couldn’t understand why I wasn’t dead.

I didn’t understand why she wanted me dead. I get that if she  couldn’t have me, she’d rather I die.

I was her house spouse that she abused frequently.

I have forgiven her of everything and I wish her nothing but peace and stay the fuck away from me.

I get now, what I didn’t get then. I loved her truly. Love blinded the blue holy fuck out of me.

I remember her mother asked me once “You know my daughter is a liar?”

I actually thought she does it, but she doesn’t do it to me.

That’s when I should have known how much I was in love with her.

I still have the sex addiction from that marriage.  Ten years celibate, and I can’t get over sex?

What the fuck?

Do you really want to know?

Why the fuck not?

Ok. I did warn you once I tell you something, you can’t forget.

Ok. Shoot.

You’re an empathic amplifier. 

You’re a telepath.

Most of the fantasies you ever had, were not yours, they were theirs.

You jerk off using models so you don’t have to know who’s fantasizing about you.

You use the lust you take on as an empath that just floats on by.

It’s why I hate going places.  All I can feel is the oppression of people’s personalities in my face.

I can deal with one or 3 max, but people in droves, they suck the life right out of me.

I get it. I try to forget I know that sex stuff. But I also never try, I do.

I never try I work at it.

I cannot fail because I never try, I do, and I work at all I do.

Fuck.

Every time I use that word.

I’m going to bed.