I never understood why I drank until I stopped.

I could feed without discretion or care of what it was I was being fed. Back when I was drinking heavily I had no idea about what I am. When I met Priscilla I was already drinking like it was a competition sport.

I’d look at people playing drinking games and ask them “Why are you drinking so slow?”

There were very few I couldn’t drink under the table 6 days a week and all day long on Sunday. Back then I was stupid and proud of my buffoonery while intoxicated. It was my drinking that brought Priscilla and I to an end.

Before I jump to the end let’s remember how it began.

It was after I had left my hometown and found a new one to dwell in far from the pain filled memories of the rejection Lisa had given me to live with.

The night I met Priscilla I was actually interested in her friend. Priscilla had spotted me right off the bat and I was her target for the night. She sat down next to me at the bar I had been hanging out at and we talked throughout the night and even danced a bit. I think all I got from her friend was a name and then it was the Priscilla show for me.

I remember there was a nasty thunderstorm that night and I had moved to the Midwest where tornadoes happen in that kind of weather. Priscilla had grown up there and was terrified of tornadoes after losing more than one family member to them. My place was right around the corner from the bar, almost literally.

I could tell her fear was real though at the time I had no idea I was sensing it. She lived a good 45 minutes away from the bar and asked if she could stay at my place to avoid driving during such a terrible storm she feared might set off a twister. I of course said “Sure.”

At the time I was in that bar underage and was only 20 years old. I happen to make friends fast and the waitress was an older Korean lady who had taken me under her wing so to speak. She made sure no one asked for my I.D. and I made sure to tip her at least twenty bucks throughout the night.  I also made sure whoever joined my table was tipping Seong well. I often had a a couple tables pushed together with a group of 10-15 people. That often meant a couple hundred bucks in tips for dear old Seong.

Seong never split the tips with me and I never asked her to. I liked making sure Seong was well taken care of. I used to order food from the restaurant her niece worked at and even tried dating her niece for 5 minutes before even I knew it wasn’t going to work. I remember once I had dinner with the family in order to be approved of by the family beofre dating Seong’s niece.

It was the first time I’d had octopus. It was rather tasty, though I could not see me eating authentic Korean on a regular. Though now I might feed on a Korean at any time.

Back then I was only thinking of the food and now I don’t give two fucks what color skin someone has, the souls all taste the same. I feed on men as well as women. The soul is a gendelress thing and for this vampire it’s the soul not the flesh I’m after.

Back to Priscilla. I do get sidetracked rather easily, however when I look back at my life there is quite a bit to get sidetracked with. Pieces of an abstract puzzle that rarely follow any kind of linear flow.

Priscilla and I went back to my place and we talked for a bit and fell asleep talking on the couch. When I woke up with her cuddled up in my arms I simply went right back to sleep until she woke me up. We started dating after that night. I would see here a couple times a week. We would go to the movies and hang out at the bar.

Priscilla was a Virgo like me. I have heard only Virgos get Virgos. We’re kind of like cats. When we want love, we will demand it and tell you how to love us and then critique you so you can love us better the next time we want it. When we don’t want it we are all teeth and claws, hissing and scratching.

We had been seeing each other for a couple months before she spent the night again, and this time in my bed. I never understood the rush to get to sex and that night was well worth the wait. We made love twice that night and fucked once.

What is the difference between making love and fucking?

Patience and a gentle touch.

There was plenty of patience and gentle touching in the first two rounds and by round 3 it was all animal lust.

After that glorious night, sex became a regular part of our relationship. Priscilla would often spend the weekend at my place. Those weekends were often spent naked. I remember we would go out to eat on Friday and on the way home we would pick up some food from a Mexican restaurant and then Priscilla would put it straight in the fridge without taking one bite.

Priscilla only liked cold Mexican food and would never eat it when it was hot. I thought it was odd then and 4 centuries later I still find it to be odd. She was an odd one in more ways than one. She had this fascination with watching me pee. I never understood why, but I was getting laid on a regular and she seemed to really like me so I dealt with it.

At twenty years old and a raging hormone looking for release, I was not about to scare off the steady lover who had claimed me as her own. A running theme in my life. The ones I want reject me 100% of the time and the ones who come after me I hold onto just because finally someone wants me.

I wish I could say that I fell in love with Priscilla and have it be true. I wish that more for her sake than my own. She treated me well and actually treated better than most of the women that came after her. I didn’t know it then, however I can see it plainly now, I allowed her to love herself through me as I bonded with her spirit. Unlike a traditional soul mating I create a soul bond with any I’m feeding on.

It was her love for me being reflected back at her and not a true love from my own heart. I wish that was a lie. She deserved better than that.

Priscilla moved in with me after around 6 months. It was around 6 months after that we were married. We eloped. Her mother did not like that and we ended up having a ceremony to appease her. In fact we had the ceremony a couple hours after we had already gotten married by a Justice of the Peace down at the courthouse. I got married twice in one day.

That night we got a hotel room at one of the fancier places in town. We had a suite that had a kitchen and and dining room.  I remember she wore one of the most beautiful white night gowns I’ve ever seen that night as we prepared to make love as man and wife for the first time. It was floor length and had lace around the bust line. She looked like an angel.

I was a damn fool for not being in love with Priscilla. She was everything I needed in a life mate, except she enabled my drinking.

I’m not sure I want to get into the rest of this. I know I need to. I think I’d like to go to bed tonight remembering that night, and not what came after, and how it ended.

I will finish this tale tomorrow but for now it’s time for this little vampire to go dream of things that have never been and will always be.

Maybe this book isn’t such a bad idea.

Maybe.