I’ve heard people say “I’m not that bad when I’m drunk.”

Bullshit, we’re all that bad when we’re drunk.

Nothing ever taught me this more than driving a cab.

My favorite question from my customers was “Have you ever watched Taxicab Confessions on HBO?”

“No. I live it.”

I look back and often I felt as if each night behind the wheel was a night in life of movie. Even the slow nights. The drama of it all.

Drama.

It often felt like a production that often included excitement and a wide array of emotional expression. There was always that hint of excitement when a call would come in. That curiosity of who was going to go where and how much was I going to make for being their driver.

Being able to glimpse the future has it’s uses when driving a cab. I would see the routes I could take and then on the one I picked I would see the same cars and person on a bike as I drove. Precognition results I could not deny. If only I could pick a winning lottery number.

Not all precogs can control what they see and very rarely do they have the ability to see unless it serves a purpose beyond the childish idea of financial wealth. Often over the years I have been blocked from seeing the future, and other times I saw 50 years ahead. I was a little surprised by the stuff I saw 50 years ahead when it came to be.

I think the morning I woke up with Gale was the vision that turned out to be the biggest disappointment. I saw us in bed all in white and our son yet to be born climbing into bed with us. We were happy and smiling. A few weeks later she left me. If she had gotten pregnant in our one night together, she never told me about it.

I may have missed the entire life of a son I never knew about.

When I was driving cab I would pick up young men who would have been the age of our son, if we had one, and sometimes the thought would enter my mind “What if this one was yours?”

That thought always passed with a quickness.

Back then I often was picking up more women than men. Far too often I was telling drunk girls to get in the car and don’t worry about paying me. They were often falling down they were so drunk and I made sure they got home safe free of charge and avoided being raped on the street.

There were a few that stuck out then that still stick out today. Kat was 19 and away from home for the first time. I would get a call from her and she would be crying “Solomon I don’t know where I am. Come get me.”

“Kat are you outside?”

“Yes, but I don’t know where I am”

“Walk to the corner and look at the street signs.”

Then she would stay put until I showed up to rescue her.

I thought of her as a niece. Someone to watch over and protect. We often had deep conversations where she got the benefit of my wisdom. At other times I listened to her apologize for being so drunk and needing me to come get her. She was a sweet kid.

Jasmine on the other hand was an older woman going through some shit. An alcoholic who had fallen off the wagon. A gorgeous alcoholic who had fallen off the wagon. I would pick her up at the beginning of the bight and then again around 3 A.M. When I picked her up she was often taking that ride of shame home.

We did this routine off and on for a few months. Then a few months went by and I did not hear from her. Then one night she called. When I picked her up she thanked me for being the only man who didn’t take advantage of her during her binge. For a few years after that I would think of her and what became of her.

For the record I never accepted any sexual favors for a ride. I always figured if a woman was willing to blow me for a cab ride, who else did he blow that night. The ones who offered to show me their tits for a free ride got this response “I’ve seen tits and yours I guarantee aren’t worth the price of this ride.”

I was an honest driver.

How could I forget Sharon, the retired pilot. She had told me once she used to fly over Area 51 while they took radiation readings from the sky during nuke testing. That’s what Area 51 was back then, a testing site for nukes. All the alien stuff was in Wyoming. It was a friend of mine who had family in the Department of Defense that told me that, it made perfect sense.

Always let them think what they want and then do something completely different.

Sharon was often tipsy when I would pick her up from her favorite restaurant. A kind old bird who never had a favorite driver and spread her generous tips among all of us. The stories she would tell were always the icing on top that made her a sweet ride every time I picked her up.

I did that job for over a year. I don’t miss it. I saw so much misery in the people I would pick up and their souls often rotting within them. It was like carrying one disease to be spread after another with the emotional sickness so many of them carried. Of all the jobs I have ever had it’s the one I miss the least.

I do miss some of the regulars I had however I can see that our time was meant to end. Anything with a beginning must come to an end at some point. The only exception I can think of is the infinite Universe that has no end and no beginning.

Hard to imagine infinite.

Harder to accept it as reality.

The immensity of it alone is far beyond the capability of a flesh trapped mind to conceive of. I do find however once you simply accept it, it opens the doors to so many other things to learn about life, the Universe, and most things. Some things I figure must always remain a mystery or it would ruin all the fun of life.

I have more to get into with this cab driving, however tonight I seem to be a bit all over the place. Time for bed I guess and I can take another shot at it tomorrow.

Oh tomorrow the day that will never be and today is the day that I will always see.