Thank the Sick Puppies for this one.

There really is no going back.

I get people share the stories of what happened, and I do as well. However, when one is talking about the past, what emotion does one feel?

Depends on the memory.

I look back at the fucked up shit I’ve done that looking back is funny as hell.

When I was 26 I was hanging out with this guy who turned into a dude. If you don’t read me, you don’t know.

We had been invited to a women’s place for a party.

She had daughters.

As my buddy was doing shots of tequila on the back porch with another guy, let’s call him target.

There was a couch on the porch. There was a table next to the couch.

My buddy and target were doing shots. One of the daughters was sitting in the couch.

I was not drinking.

My buddy was hitting on the daughter.

I could tell she was going for it.

I told my buddy to come here I wanted to talk to him.

We stepped out into the lawn.

My buddy had this look on his face, happy and horny. He said he was mackin’  on the daughter and she was going for it.

I asked if he knew the age of the daughter.

He said “yeah, target told me she was 17.”

“No, she’s 13.”

I watched my buddies face go from happy horny to pissed as fuck in less than a second. He starting screaming “TARGET!”

He started looking for target.

This is when he found joe and told joe he was going to kill target.

The women who lived there, she had a roommate that target was dating.

My buddy and Joe, walked in on two portly people having sex. Target and his girlfriend.

I couldn’t have laughed my ass off anymore than I did that day.

For a good ten years, every time my buddy would get too big for his britches, I’d say “17” and that got him to shut down.

When all you have to say is a single number, you know your in someone’s head.

I used to be a huge asshole before I became the biggest dick I’ve ever met.

Team America World Police.

The whole dicks, pussies and assholes routine. Pussies complain and assholes shit all over everything and a dick fucks them both.

Paraphrased of course.

The shuffle is saying it’s time to Come Sail Away by Styx.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.