Thanks Glorius Sons.

I look at my life.

Today was a good day until night.

Living in the Torres shelter on Chico California, most of these people will never contribute to society.

To me, this makes them worthless sacks of flesh.

I’ve spent the majority of the last month reminding myself we’re all the same.

However, they can’t even follow the simple rules. They think they’re better than the rules and they don’t have to follow the rules.

One staff member quit the other day, he went at lunch and never came back.

I get why.

These people, most of them will never have homes. They like being homeless.

They like they get shit for free.

I’m done with this place.

The only reason I stay is because True North is assisting me to get my autism diagnosis.

True north.  Not the Torres shelter staff.

I look for work even though I’m working to get my autism diagnosis and will go on social security.

However, I’m getting unemployment so I follow the rules. They need me to look for work.

So I look for work.

In the last few days I put applied for 8 jobs.

I’m not expecting to hear anything from any of them.

I went to Walmart today to cash my unemployment check. I got a couple things i needed and I talked to a few people.

Told them I’m homeless living here.

I still haven’t heard from any management about getting fired.  They called me once and didn’t leave a message. I figured out I got fired after the apps stopped working on my phone.

I still haven’t received my final check.

I’m still waiting to get my w2.

Next week when I go in to cash my check, I’ll talk to someone.

Today I admitted something to an employee.

Being homeless, living art this shelter, is better than the job I had working for Wal-Mart.

It’s true.

I have metacognition.

I build ontological models.

It truly is better being homeless than working as a janitor for Wal-Mart.

I met a combat veteran that won 203 million in the lottery yesterday.

The nicest dude I’ve ever met.

I feel sorry for him. Because of what he saw in combat. If anyone deserves to win the lottery, this dude does.

I’m happy he won’t ever have to worry about money again.

He gets I’m autistic. 

He gets I’m smarter than most.

What hurts is I need to get away from this place.  I had the opportunity to go hang out with a friend.  Plans fell through and I haven’t heard a word from him again.

I don’t know what I did.

Im Friday I went to the park and smoked myself stupid for the first time in a month.

I needed it.

This place is federally funded, so no weed.

I tossed most of an 1/8 away because I can’t have it here.

I really wish I had some weed just so I can sleep.

However, I’ve been dreaming. The other day I dreamt people were trying to kill me and I was going to kill them. 

That’s a fucked up dream to have. Comes from pissing the shelter people off. Snitches kill.

I’m a pacifist by choice because I know how deadly I am.

And I’m smart enough to know i could get them to attack me and I could kill them easily making it sekf defense.

To have that thougt go through my mind doesn’t scare me.

Worthless sacks of flesh that drain on society.

I’ve thought it through.

I forgive everyone of everything so that I can put peace in my heart mind and soul.

But the thought comes from time to time.

So I keep forgiving.

I’ve had a cluster headaches and the last one was 6 days long followed by a migraine on the 7th day.

I have the kennel cough.

It’s something I heard from someone.

This place recyclers the air and no windows get open.

My case manager says the first 3 months she was sick.

I get why.

I had the flu twice already and the dude who sleeps above me has it now.

In the last several years I haven’t been sick.

I spend a month here and I can’t stay healthy.

Dinner the last 2 days was trying to kill me.

I’m allergic to bell pepper, deathly allergic.

At least once a week I can’t eat dinner.

Mexican food.

It’s why I hate Mexican food.

Bell peppers.

And I can’t get other food from anywhere after 6pm.

One of the cooks knows i have the allergy. She’s adhd and autistic like me.

I don’t know how long I’ll be here, but the day I get a place will be the best day I’ve had.

Have a blessed one and be excellent always.