Thank you Jasmine Motherfucking Cain.

ex·is·ten·tial
/ˌeɡzəˈsten(t)SHəl/
adjective
relating to existence.
“the climate crisis is an existential threat to the world”
Philosophy
concerned with existence, especially human existence as viewed in the theories of existentialism.
“the existential dilemma is this: because we are free, we are also inherently responsible”
Logic
(of a proposition) affirming or implying the existence of a thing.
“the existential proposition that truth and reality are constructed fictions”

Reality is not fiction.

There are so many that think it’s a holographic universe and that reality isn’t real.

Touch something.

Does it feel real?

Of course it does.

Why would anyone, much less many, think reality is fiction?

Because they can’t take the truth.

Think about it.

We have wars, people starving to death, billionaires making claims that it’s their fault.

A bunch of shit that would make any want it to be fiction.

Truth hurts.

Integration of pain filled truth is what I’ve done my entire life.

I’ve known combat veterans that had to kill or be killed.

That fucks with their minds. Some, take the pain and turn it into pleasure.

One veteran I met had tattoos to mark his personal kills. The kills he did with a knife. He’s a serial killer waiting to happen.

Then another veteran didn’t want to kill, but kills or be killed.  He saw the worst of humanity and he still has nightmares about what he did.

How did you love was playing while I wrote that last part.

I love with everything.

I love everyone.

I don’t want to have sex with anyone.

Sex and love are two different things.

You can have sex with someone you don’t even know.

However, when you do love someone enough to share your body, it’s a hole new ball game.

Existential

“the existential dilemma is this: because we are free, we are also inherently responsible”

How many don’t deal with responsibility?

Free will but not free from the consequences of what we choose.

It’s why in the homeless shelter I don’t speak to anyone unless they speak to me first.

I typically look for some place to be alone and I usually have ear buds in listening to music.

I’m here because of consequence.

Tomorrow I meet with my case manager to work at getting me a place. It will take a couple months, but whatever she says, I’ll do.

I take in everything.  I’m an empathic amplifier,  I have no choice.

It’s why I trained myself in Reiki.

I use the state of peace to transmute everything I take in into pure love healing energy.

This in the homeless shelter where most of them don’t deal with themselves, is making them deal with themselves.

I’m a coherent anchor.

I wish everyone to be well.

Think about what that means.

Well.

Healed of trauma.

It’s why most of them don’t like being near me and they don’t know why.

I do.

I have metacognition.

Meaning I know exactly what I’m doing.

However, it’s my only defense against the onslaught of dealing with their bullshit.

I’m at peace.

Peace is my defense.

Skin started playing while I’m writing this.

Show them your true colors.

The entire song is my life.

Oh well, it’s my consequence to deal with.

I’m not complaining, I’m just observing my thoughts as I have them.

Have a blessed one and be excellent always.