Each of us is the sum of life up until right now. That means we are the sum of experiences shared with other people.
Take a look around you and tell me how much of it you made.
In order for me to have done anything in life it took others to do it with.
Let’s go back conception.
Two souls each giving a piece of themselves to create a third. An emotional imprint takes place from both parents at the time of conception and we are made in their emotional image.
Then we are born and we have schools and friends and family that mold and shape us through experiences shared.
Anyone starting to see how narcissistic it is to call oneself self made?
It takes a strong willful act of self delusion to separate oneself from all that has assisted one in becoming who one is by stating one is self made.
For anything we do in life to happen it takes other people being a part of it.
At times that looks like customers for a business. Without customers you have no business. It can also look like employees for a business. Without anyone to help you create and run the business all you have is an idea that is going to go nowhere unless you ave others involved.
This is why I often say that a company can run without a CEO however without the front line people the company is sunk.
It takes an act of narcissism to take the credit for the work of other people.
Our lives are bigger than us as an individual, much bigger.
Our lives are the sum of all the lives we have engaged with over the course of our lives. What we do has an impact in the lives of others. In order to gain wealth one must feed off others. I say feed because that money came from the others giving their life to work so they could give that money to you.
What sacrifices have been made by all who have paid you so that you can enjoy wealth?
I recently told someone that to seek wealth is to give up your soul in the search. I guess I would also add that to seek wealth is to feed off of the souls of others. In essence that is what is happening. People pour their life force energy or their soul into their work and then get money and then spend that money.
What is the value of your soul?
I specialize in a few thing and one of those things is deep soul healing. I work by donation, no donation required or ever asked for when it comes to deep soul healing work. I am there to help not feed.
This is why I look at the fact we have a spirituality industry and it sickens me to the core. Spirituality and wealth building do not go hand in hand and anyone telling you different is probably charging you.
They are taking from you to add to them. They feed off your money, your adoration and count on you following them like a cult leader.
This is why I started the Church of Rock N Roll and say “The Church of Rock N Roll is any and everywhere you can hear the music that connects to your soul.”
I will never have a building or hold services and I am not one to hold seminars or workshops that require cash up front to work on your spiritual walk. Change up your music from time to time and look at the lyrics to see what you are feeding yourself.
Music and film and TV and books all go into what becomes you.
I have often been guilty of my own ignorance that once realized stole my innocence.
It’s why I say forgiveness is gift you give to yourself to let God deal with it. Forgiving oneself is as important as forgiving others. Where we run into issues as human beings is when we don’t change the behavior that has us seeking forgiveness to begin with.
An apology with no change in behavior is an excuse to keep up the abuse.
When I have found myself guilty due to my own ignorance that means new information has been presented to remove my bliss filled ignorance and I see how guilty I have been though up until that moment I would have found me innocent. I’m no saint or holy sacred what the fuck ever. I might be a servant of God however I have sinned in mighty ways. It takes one to know one and understand what led one into the moment now shared.
When I did go to Church way back when I always looked for a pastor that had been a mighty sinner. I wanted someone who could relate to what I might seek guidance for should I feel the need.
I had my last one night stand around 2 years ago. Afterward she started talking about making me a real prostitute and her being my pimp. I have kept myself from having a one stand ever since. I had never felt so cheap and used.
In my twenties I would have thought that was the coolest thing that could ever happen. At 43 and as a man who has embraced his path, there is no way I could not feel like walking dildo at that moment and she had stripped the idea of my humanity from who I had become in her eyes.
I did not study Tantra to be celibate, however I understand soul health well enough to understand why I choose monogamy and why I am picky as hell.
In my twenties I acted out of ignorance.
I have changed my behavior and my behavioral outlook.
I forgive me for having my twenties.
I am nowhere near innocent, however I have refined myself based on the ideas of being healthy emotionally as well as physically and remembering that emotional health is a key identifier in soul health. If I am not living at keeping my soul healthy how in the blue holy fuck can I guide anyone into better soul health.
A Shaman is a soul healer and to become Shaman one must take on great illness and heal oneself from it. There have times in my life where my soul was as sick as any soul could be. OK so anyone of us has the potential to fuck our lives up at some point and do some shit.
Everyone of us has the power to make changes in behavior and to stop doing the stupid shit that fucks us up. We find ourselves guilty often and forgive ourselves without changing behavior too easily. I did it for years before I took it seriously and started changing me.
Living with total awareness means I have a good idea of the effect before I ever allow the words to escape my lips or allow myself to be moved into action. I hold myself accountable and my innocence only goes as far as my ignorance and the view others take of my words and actions.
We all tell the story of each other and how each is perceived by each other. We don’t think about it in those terms. We are too stuck in our life and how it effected us to realize we might have made an impact in the life or lives of others. It’s something I still struggle with because I’m human.
It’s all part of the condition of being human. A soul wrapped in flesh to have a human adventure.
Live in ignorance if you choose and realize your innocence is only a delusion kept in place by your choice to remain ignorant.
Ask yourself one question and take it on a journey.
What is the total cost of my life to all that exist and have existed up until right now?
Over the last few weeks as I have been focusing my attention on the fictional books I am writing and my autobiography, I have all but stopped participating in social media. Here’s why.
Someone like myself who is something of a truth seer is not welcome most places. There is a shift in consciousness going on around the world and there are a lot of people working to cash in on it.
They have their books that encourage you to take their classes and spend time with them in session and make sure you get their prepackaged steps to enlightenment or awakening or activating your DNA or whatever which one is calling it. There are the stores that all look like they bought the same store starter kit.
These people disgust me. These people are doing more to inhibit your growth than they are to empower you to grow. These people hate me. Here’s why.
Life really is much simpler than this new industry of self appointed authority would lead you to believe.If they told you the truth they would have nothing to charge you for. It would kill some of the traveling festivals who are filled with people there to show you how to be more spiritual.
First what does it mean to be spiritual and live a spiritual life?
It’s accepting that you are a spirit wrapped in flesh and as Lynyrd Skynyrd put it, all you need is in you soul. Raising your level of self awareness is how you raise your levels of conscious awareness. Self awareness means being more aware of your impact on the world around you. It’s being mindful of your thoughts, words and actions. It’s exercising empathy and patience to achieve understanding.
There is not one single ritual or ceremony in existence that makes you more spiritual. There is not one special type of music that makes you more spiritual. There is not one religion or book to follow that will make you more spiritual. This not one Yoga position that makes you more spiritual. There is not one meditation that makes you more spiritual.
Every life is a spiritual life governed by unseen forces of existence.
Each of us has the ability to connect to our higher selves and this connection gives us access to wisdom and knowledge as old as existence itself. We achieve this connection within us and nothing out here will ever do anything to assist us in doing what we can do all on our own. Some will profess that the use of psychedelics will make it easier. No, it gives you a crutch that will not allow you to do it without the psychedelics.
I use this simple meditation that I have been giving to my students and those I counsel for years.
Say the words “I let go of everything.”
Repeat until you feel your body take over the breathing.
Then say “I go into the void of my own mind to learn what I need to know right now.”
This activates your higher self connection to guide you through your realizations with no need of ever having to take a single class or crack a single book. This will take you further than any drug. This is the journey to activating your DNA. When done you can do things such as what I did in making my skeleton symmetrical. I am not theorizing I am telling you exactly how I did it. I did it by being honest in all areas of my life and honest with myself.
I changed more than my skeleton when I activated my DNA. Everything you need in order to do it is within you not out here.
Stop giving away your power and empower yourself to own your life, your journey and the impact that life makes on the rest of us.
That’s the one thing these industry people never talk about.
Owning your impact on the lives of all you come in contact with. Owning the suffering you add to when you ignore someone including walking by that homeless person on the street. Once you embraces what it means to be a spirit wrapped in flesh one sees it everyone else too. You see the sameness despite the differences. You see how we are all connected and we see that unless we all chip in it will only get worse. We have seen the history repeat itself and we can see it around us now.
Karmic Law states history will repeat itself until changed. Until we all become one human race and set the stupid bullshit aside we have seen what happens and what is happening.
Dive within yourself and see if you find something different.
That’s Karmic Law which means it’s how existence actually works and there are no shortcuts around it and any book anywhere that says different is flat out wrong.
It’s why these people who are posting these posters that say good things come to those who go work their ass off is about the most moronic thing I see on a regular basis as it is exactly the opposite of how the universe actually works which means these people have no clue what they are talking about and are actually inflicting great amounts of deceptive harm.
Poster quotes such as that create the worst kind of addiction there is on this planet, workaholics are people who never switch off and never ever actually live their life. They turn themselves into machines who will succeed at all costs and then give up more than they know in their pursuit.
Patience exercised is patience cultivated.
When one applies patience to ones thoughts and actions one sees it’s value in the results. My dad always told me to work smarter not harder. It takes a patience mind to find the most efficient way to accomplishing anything. It takes patience to achieve true mastery and provide something of quality with a priceless value that one puts a price tag on anyway. You don’t achieve quality and you don’t become the best of you without great amounts of patience.
One who waits is a fool or wise depending on what it is they are waiting for.
The fool waits only long enough to find the next logic task.
The wise waits to see if a better way can be found.
In waiting the fool is waiting to be fed.
In waiting the wise are looking for better ways to feed themselves.
The fool exercises needed patience often out of lack of options.
The wise rarely need patience as it becomes their mode of life.
If one is to give the Universe a fair shot at manifesting something for them it takes patience to stay out of the way.
Figure out your desire and than let it go and do as the Beatles sang and let it be. Trying to cheat the system or speed things up because you really want it and never letting go of the desire distorts it and perverts the manifestation to teach you to let it go and let it be.
Patience is selflessness and impatience is selfishness. Often in life what we are waiting on in order for an easier transition of our story that is our life is for other characters to be ready themselves. When we rush and allow the not so perfect fit be what we take because we don’t want to wait, we fuck our hearts right in the ass.
I don’t care how vulgar or offensive you find that concept as I find impatience to be just as vulgar in the behavior that spews forth due to it. Or to say I wanted you to feel my disgust with the impatient people of the world by giving you something that should be a revolting idea in your mind.
In using behavioral psychology I made an outright attempt with will and intent to manipulate you based on my current understanding of how a large chunk of the populace would respond to the idea of their heart getting fucked in the ass.
This is the distortion of my own impatience not taking the time to be much more eloquent, instead, opting to bring one thunderous shot right to the dome.
Or perhaps it’s not impatience and it’s not distorted. Perhaps my desire for efficiency allows me to be creative in making an impact in the fewest words possible.
The point I am making is that I am willing to look in and do some guess work about me on my own before any of you ever read this.
Answering the question “Why in the blue holy fuck does a Shaman swear so fucking much?”
I’m not your average Shaman and I work at being an individual and not being like everyone else.
I also have a standing belief that there is no such thing as bad words and anyone who says different is brainwashed.
If you have followed my work at all, I take a stand just by standing most days and offering my opinion on anything.
Take 5 minutes and think who you could be if it went right for you.
Start asking yourself more often “What could go right next?”
A patient mind reaps the greatest reward. It’s how the universe actually works and there is no way around it. I don’t make up the laws existence, I live by them and learn from them so I can live better.
I had a consult the other day and what I do as a Shamanic guide/coach is teach you how to save your own ass and never need me or someone like me again. I find this song for me is one I sing to myself when I am up in the air and feeling as though this is the conversation I need to have with someone else. The Angel and the Gambler from Iron Maiden to me is the conversation between the higher self and the gambler that is the mind.
Roll of the dice Take a spin of the wheel Out of your hands now So how do you feel but you’re never gonna win You’d better go back again
How often in life do we see things going right and look for the other shoe to drop?
We set ourselves up for failure when we think like this. Simply because we think positive all the time does not mean shit is not going to go sideways some days. When the moment comes that feels like a kick in the chest, that has you looking at every other time you got knocked down, instead of looking at getting knocked down look at how you got the fuck up every time.
In some pursuits we go back as many times as it takes to get it done.
Do you feel lucky? Or do you feel scared Take what luck brings And the devil may care But you’re down on your luck Will the next day bring?
When do you feel lucky?
When things go right.
When do we get scared?
When we think about what can go wrong.
Tomorrow is never set and is always an opportunity.
Adrift on the ocean Afloat on the daydream Or lost in a maze Or blind in the haze So what does it matter So why don’t you answer So why did you send An angel to mend
There are times in life I found myself totally confused and lost in my life and trying to figure what in the blue holy fuck was going on and why should I even bother any more. We all have these little moments in life. For me I often find myself hearing the words “I was just praying/wishing/hoping/wanting/whatever to have someone like you show up to talk to about this.” I often wonder what the inner dialog is after those conversations as people still wrestle with what we talked about.
Best make decisions Before it’s too late Take all your chances Take all hold of the reins A roll of the dice Ahead of the game again
Nothing to lose But so much to gain A little danger It goes without saying But what do you care You’re gonna go in the end
I have always lived life at full speed and taking every spontaneous turn that came up for a side adventure on the journey of life. I own every decision I make and let go of every decision I can’t, you know other peoples.
Any time you think you have something to lose, you do. Any time you think you have something to gain, you do.
The only thing in life we have no choice about is death, the rest is optional. We will die at some point. Get the fuck over it and live.
Gate open to heaven Is ready and waiting Or straight down to hell Can go there as well
My view of heaven on earth for me personally includes living away from most of you and hiding out on a small farm or something like that. Somewhere I can e self contained and talk to people when I want to or they find me. For me hell on earth would be living in a large city.
Adjust for your idea of heaven and hell accordingly and realize that’s the result your aiming for as you build your life.
I’ll suffer my craving My soul not worth saving So why don’t you go Just leave well alone
Don’t you think I’m a saviour Don’t you think I could save you Don’t you think I could save your life
We can fall into a pit of self doubt and beat the fuck out ourselves better than anyone could ever do it to us.
How many of you need to look up the name Wolfman Jack?
If it’s any of you than there is a lost art you have never had in your life. The Radio DJ was the Pastor and the music from the prophets is what they explained to the congregation of listeners to be a translator of the Rock Gods and the messages sent forth through their prophets.
The only 3 Radio DJ’s I will not turn the dial on is Alice Cooper, Nikki Sixx and Dee Snider. Today’ Radio DJ’s don’t know shit about what it means to live Rock ‘N’ Roll. The only other Radio DJ I’ve met worth two shits goes by the name Meat Wad. Read Rock ‘N’ Roll Karma to see why.
Howard Stern, Mark and Brian, Bob and Tom and others killed the Art of the Radio DJ and made it the old radio shows from when radio was born that took in the ratings and cut the people off from the Rock Gods. It became about the DJ not the music. If it’s not about the music the DJ sucks donkey dicks in Tijuana on the weekends for fun in my Rock Shaman opinion.
Anyone who was watching what I posted on Facebook today should have seen this coming from a mile a way.
Former Baptist Preacher turned comedian paid me a visit as a Medium today to remind me of a few lessons he taught that I lived.
Yes I am going to make you look up the Wolfman yourself.
Please allow me to introduce myself I’m a man of wealth and taste I’ve been around for a long, long year Stole many a man’s soul and faith
And I was ’round when Jesus Christ Had his moment of doubt and pain Made damn sure that Pilate Washed his hands and sealed his fate
I’ve asked myself this question many times over.
I seen it in thousands of ways and with a conversation that for me is all about sitting down and hearing the Devil’s side of the story. In all those day dreams the one thing I could never escape was the idea of just how fucked up the Devil’s job is.
Someone has to do it right?
However does this mean we should have sympathy for the Devil as the Rolling Stones suggest?
The opening of this song recounts the tale of Jesus being nailed to a cross and the man who had to be the one to do it. If you are not familiar with the story, the dude who got nailed saw it coming from a mile away and knew it was part of his destiny. Someone had to fulfill it and be the bad guy or there could be no hero or in case of this story, no savior.
I stuck around St. Petersburg When I saw it was a time for a change Killed the Tsar and his ministers Anastasia screamed in vain
I rode a tank Held a general’s rank When the blitzkrieg raged And the bodies stank
I watched with glee While your kings and queens Fought for ten decades For the gods they made
I shouted out, “Who killed the Kennedys?” When after all It was you and me
We can look back and see every kind of horror that we can dish out to each other and it would be really nice if we had a Devil to blame for the atrocities of man. The Devil in us all is something we struggle with. Yet if we look back to our own worst behavior or daydreams of things we never did, that’s the Devil Inside that INXS talks about.
Just as every cop is a criminal And all the sinners saints As heads is tails Just call me Lucifer
Cause I’m in need of some restraint So if you meet me Have some courtesy Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse Or I’ll lay your soul to waste
Before embracing the Shaman I am, I was brought up Baptist. It happens and I’m feeling much better now.
The use of the name Lucifer to give the Devil a face and a personification gives us someone to blame.
When you take the inner dive that is guided by your higher self it can feel like a guided tour of hell from Lucifer himself. You’re showing yourself through your idea of living hell and living heaven that all there truly is in life is decisions and consequences. You build your hell or free yourself to your heaven on earth by the choices you make and the consequences you face for making those choices.
Do as you will and remember you will reap what you sow whether you want to or not. Think of it as the basic understanding to be nice or there are consequences you will face at some point in time.
This concept is the basic underlying concept of every religion ever created. It also covers every philosophy ever written and every story we tell.
Be nice or have your soul laid to waste.
Pleased to meet you Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah But what’s puzzling you Is the nature of my game,
Tell me baby, what’s my name Tell me honey, can ya guess my name
Tell me baby, what’s my name I tell you one time, you’re to blame
To me I found in life the Devil is any thing that has you feeling tempted to do something you know better than to do.
Karmic Law states we are responsible for our lives. My gift allows me to go back and see why your life or mine is exactly where it is. However I need the focus of questions or it’s all to immense to try and describe however I can see it anyway. When I say go back I often find myself behind the eyes of another viewing outward.
A Shaman lives with one foot on the other-side and one foot on this side. When you add being a Medium into the mix, my teachers were the Ascended Masters and what some would call the Arch Angels.
Karmic Law is Karmic Law and it defies the Law of Physics and Human beings.
If we create our shared reality with our thoughts we are the Devil to blame for why our world looks the way it does.
We feel alive when we’re loving our life. That doesn’t always mean we’re happy about where our life is in the moment. I always maintain that there is only one emotion, love. The rest of what we call emotions is the infinite expressions or faces of love. If there was no love for anything, there would be no reason to shed tears.
I’ve learned a lot about loving life from death the concept and Death the personifications we have given to it. Every culture throughout history has had a face it has given to Death. If we can put a face on it and make it more human, it’s not as scary and maybe can be reasoned with.
Why do we fear death to begin with?
Because we are not exactly sure what happens afterwards.
Because we love life.
Because we fear how we are going to go.
I asked myself once if I could choose how to go out, what would I choose?
I’m a hopeless romantic by genetics and my mother amplified this by raising me on Neil Diamond.
The death I picked out centers around this for the life that leads to a unique ending.
I decided if I have a choice, I would choose to spend many years with the same woman by my side as my partner in life. Once we are ready to check out for good and go back to where it is we come from we will do so in one last lovers embrace. We will transcend the mortal death and simply ascend breaking apart into light during our last sharing of orgasmic bliss.
Pick your death and live accordingly.
Love your life based on the death you want.
What does a life look like to achieve this ending?
Have you read the rest of this blog?
Death is a healer and a guide to help us find better ways of enjoying the ride.
Besides without the idea of your life coming to an end one day wouldn’t it take some of the fun out of life?
Death makes life exciting, it makes us cherish those moments that we wish could live on forever.
Death is part of life and we can either live in fear of death or we can live a life that makes death a sweet release and transformation back to whatever it is we were before this life here and now.
That is not a typo in title and the song Diamond Eyes from Shinedown might help me explain the concept of what it means to be a Souldier for Peace in the Army of none.
I am the shadow, and the smoke in your eyes, I am the ghost, that hides in the night
What is the soul and how do we know it lives within us?
The living ghost in the shell of the flesh.
The essence of who we allow ourselves to be when we shine our brightest, however often hiding who that is in the activities that is the night life for so many of us. I’m an alcoholic. Me and booze don’t mix well. With my intuitive sharpness I often find when I drink I will hit on everything you don’t want to face in the living mirror we each are for each other behind the smoke that is what we conjure for the rest for the world to see. Allowing the living mirror you are to reflect not the smokey facade, but the inner light behind it, now that’s a tricky dance on any given night in the never ending circus of lights.
It takes taking the time to avoid the knee jerk reaction and look beyond the current projection we face and allowing what beams behind it assist us in forming a response that recognizes who is there crying out to be noticed and seeing what it is we should be acknowledging in the kings and queens behind the clowns we all are whether we like it or not.
Our light becomes the ghost we hide behind who think are in the shadows of the night. Masking ourselves in the darkness we feel at home with and don’t mind sharing in public places with our ghostly faces.
Wait, wait a minute take a step back you gotta think twice before you react so stay, stay a little while Because a Promise not kept is the road to exile HEY! whats the circumstance you’ll never be great without taking a chance so wait, you waited too long had your hands in your pocket when you shoulda been gone
If you got your hands in your pockets, you’re not looking to give or receive. You’re not looking to be apart of what’s going on, you’re there to watch the show playing out before you.
If that’s the case, you’re reaction is not going to serve what you observe. You’ve made yourself the outsider by keeping your hands in your pockets and offering nothing and accepting nothing. When we go to places whether we like it or not our presence is a promise to give and receive. We create our exile by not taking a place within the festivities that is the circus of lights before us.
We are each the star of our film we call life. When our stories collide we do ourselves no favors by keeping our hands in our pockets and thus dimming our own star and taking ourselves out of the supporting role in their story and being a star in our own. Moving ourselves to the background scenery of our living film.
Our words the script we create as we go. Our actions the direction we give our life to develop our story. The time we spend together is the screen we share to grow our story and take part in other films that make for a greater spectacle when we join to share the stage of the night.
A circus has many performers and when they share the stage is when the audience becomes even more enthralled with the show, giving a wider range or stars for the audience to connect with in the moment we share as they take a step back to take it in.
Before you react and put your hands in your pockets and break the promise you made with your presence, think about why you even showed up to begin with. Was it to watch to the show or be a part of it with the other stars of the night. It it was to merely watch, then as the lights fade make your way out as if you were never there to begin with and be the ghost you made of yourself for the night.
If you are looking to have your star shine with other performers of the night on a more consistent basis, keep your hands out of your packets and give a hug and/or a handshake to all you meet and greet.
Form connections, form bonds, create blessed unions between those you resonate with most in your most personal performance that requires an intimate moment between the closest of those you call friend.
We are all brothers and sisters, however our friends are even closer to us and the ones we spill our guts too. You know the ones we drop the act for and show how much of fuck up we are too in our own human endeavor and where we appreciate so few above the others for what we give each other in every moment whether we can see each others faces or not.
I got a friend who does the same soul swapping thing I do that freaks people out when I explain it. The most beautiful part of the gift is that you really feel how alone none of us is in a way that is beyond description in the pure love it takes to make the connection to begin with. After spending a few years on your own it’s not easy to recognize the bonds that are ever present in what we build in a constant. Let’s face it at times we do like to be all alone and feel as though we can have a moment all alone to ourselves.
That’s when we put our hands in our pockets to signify we want not to give to what is in front of us as we do not wish to receive from anything before us either. Who cares why as it always depends on where it is we have decided to show up. Frankly there are times it is best for us to keep our hands to ourselves and sit back and be the outsider we are.
Sometimes you need to remember where you don’t belong to appreciate it that much more, where you do.
Every night of my life I watch angels fall from the sky Every time that the sun still sets I pray they don’t take mine
There is a bit of a renegade angel in all of us for every faithfully serving angel that resides as well. There is humanness we can never escape that will always have times of wondering why in the blue holy hell any god would allow for some of the atrocities that take place in our world. There must be a devil of some sort to blame. Otherwise we have to admit what savages we are.
We have to admit we are the demons that plague the world as much as we have the ability to be the angels that save it.
INXS says each and everyone of us the devil inside. God lives there too.
Within each of us is the temptation to allow ourselves the experiences to remind us why we all have desires that go unfilled but not unthought of on occasion. We have moments of weakness when we do give in to certain desires of the flesh that we know better than to do.
It’s the angels we seek to save us from ourselves and pray the demons that are those angels fallen from the sky are not what crosses our path.
I’m on the front line don’t worry I’ll be fine the story is just beginning I say goodbye to my weakness so long to the regret and now I see the world through diamond eyes
A Souldier sees that the only war going on is the one within.
A Souldier does not seek battle as that would means the Souldier is not at peace with ones life.
A Souldier seeks to bring peace to oneself before ever going out into the night.
A Souldier who sees conflict before them seeks only to assist in negotiating peace for the moment as long as it can last.
A Souldier is no soldier.
A Souldier does not do combat with their words much less their flesh.
On the front lines of being around those with conflict within the story is always beginning anew and the inner strength of the Souldier regrets nothing in the life that led to where they are now.
The Army of none is recognizing no army is ever needed when all you seek is to be at peace with yourself and the life you choose to live.
I often say there is but one emotion and it’s love and the others are but it’s infinite faces or something close. I’m always looking for better ways to express myself.
People often recommend books to me. I don’t think I have ever really explained how much reading and studying I have done in my life.
I was born with an intellect that allowed me to read books and not thumb though them as the other kids did.
I read the dictionary.
I read the entire encyclopedia series.
I read every martial arts and eastern philosophy book in the Hooker Oak Elementary school library.
I read mythology books.
I read my moms college text books on astronomy.
I read books on everything.
I read a lot of fantasy fiction.
I read a lot of science fiction.
I’ve seen over 5,000 movies.
I am always looking to get into deep discussions every time I talk to anyone. That’s not new.
In some way, some form or some fashion I am constantly studying everything in the world around me. I am always seeing where I can make changes in me to allow for the life I desire to be here now.
I have talked about the Cinematic View I use. If life was a movie, your story will never go outside the context of your character.
Who you are behind the mask, your true intent behind your life whether you admit it to yourself or anyone else is the life that plays out around you.
To make changes to your story, first make changes to your character.
I hit a point where my capacity for storage is maxed out, no pun intended. I have studied so much, taken so much in, that now my learning is often done in the moment through realization of things only studied and now being understood.
I find if it’s a new process I need to learn I’m able to adapt with no problem as I often find it’s more of an update to something I have already done. Something I have already studied and now here’s the application so that I can understand what I absorbed and why I retained it.
There are somethings I studied as a child and unconsciously applied that I still live.
Bruce Lee spoke of being limitless.
I impose some limits on myself based on the story I want that shapes the character I am becoming. There are experiences I’ve never had that I can pass on thank you.
There are experiences I’ve had, I would very much like to have again. The character I choose to be in the authentic representation of me is what allows the story I desire to take shape and be filled in by The Big U or that improv creative producer out there everywhere.
You are a being of love and limitless.
You have infinite options to choose the form of love you are.
Have fun figuring out what works for you.
If you don’t like your story, make changes in your character.
My life My love My sex My drug My lust My god it ain’t no sin Can I get it Can I get an Amen My grace My church My pain My tears My hurt My god, I’ll say it again Can I get it Can I get an Amen
I told someone once “whatever you do, do it with love and there is no sin.”
Jesus is known as the Heavenly Taltos. Jesus did not preach Christianity as it has become known.
He preached love.
God exists in everything including us and what if God is still trying to figure out how to do this human thing without judgement of others understanding we all need some visceral experience to teach us what love is.
Sex and lust is the one thing we judge ourselves and other people over the most.
You are the projection of the love you give yourself.
I always wanted someone in life to tell me the only judgement that matters is self judgement, however we also have a responsibility to each other to assist each other when the love we are projecting is hurting ourselves or others.
Only we can decide if what we are doing is sin, God loves us anyway and allows us to learn and grow. However we always deal with the results of our choices in some form or another.
We reap what we sow.
Or to say if want to have random sex with random people you will deal with the consequences in life not because God wants to punish you, because we reap what we sow whether we want to or not.
I often say
The Devil has a fucked up job. His job is to show you everything love isn’t so you can figure out on your own what love is.
Too often people get lost in the idea of morality. Morality leads to judgement.
I have found that pure spirituality isn’t about being celibate, it’s being picky or not and is based on how comfortable you are with what it produces in your life.
Religion and sexual spiritualists have us all turned around and pointing fingers at each other.
I would marry a prostitute.
I thought about becoming one myself.
I would marry a porn star.
I thought becoming one myself.
I was born a Taltos.
I didn’t have much choice in that.
Should a spiritual teacher sell sex?
If it’s not good for the sum…
It’s good for the sum to have people who will work on donation to provide services normally too expensive for most.
No one should be denied.
Financial success in no way reflects whether or not you should be able to get your Chakras aligned or have a Life Coach or a personal trainer.
My legs are in bad shape, here’s why.
My dad has Parkinson’s. He needs a walker and is not far from a wheel chair.
How I take care of him is in using my skills to give him everything I can to keep him out of the wheel chair for as long as I can.
It means my own physical healing has been put aside. My legs are getting to be as bad as his. Part of that is being the physical empath I am. I can’t heal my dad, however I can give everything I do have to keep him up right.
When my dad goes in the chair where my parents live, the home is not set up for wheel chair access of any kind.
The hallway is too narrow.
There are stairs that need ramps built.
This is also where your donations and what I get from the services I provide goes to also.
A fire’s gotta burn The world is gonna turn A rain has gotta fall Fate is gonna call But I just keep on breathing Long as my heart is beating
As I’ve been finding my way to doing what I’m doing now I found an old flame to rekindle so to speak.
Pete is a brother from the mother ship who has been working his ass off to turn this into a film for about a decade. Pete and I came real close once, however 3 people backed out of a deal of lifetime and this is where I am and Pete is where he is still working his ass off to get this film made and made the right way.
I don’t think I can tell you how often people tell me to read this book or that and I tell them I don’t read.
THE SUICIDE FLOWERS is about a rock star on the downside of his career. He goes home for a concert and to visit a cancer patient in the hospital as a PR stunt.
From their the rock star gets a lesson in what love is.
This film has been a burning passion for Pete and for myself as well as I have never really shut up about it even though for a long time I have not been in a position to much to assist in getting it made.
If I wasn’t a Taltos, I would be a film maker.
Someone’s gotta hate It’s never gonna change Gets harder everyday This is one hell of a place Keep your heart from freezing To keep yourself believing
Hater’s hate because they wish it was them doin’ what you’re doin’.
It gets hard to keep that balance of not giving a fuck what these people over here say and allowing for these people over here to fuel the fire that keeps you keepin on.
Life has gotta kill Faith is gonna blind Hope is gonna fade The truth is gonna lie Sometimes there’s no reason To justify the meaning
But I won’t run I’m not ashamed It’s gonna take more than this for me to break
Metaphorically speaking for their to be a new direction in life to be taken or a new life to give birth to, a life has to die.
Think of it this way, I never could have been the Taltos I am as The Movie Whore.
That’s the name I wrote under for a few years using film to break down the human condition and how we might do it better.
Same man, same thing, different source material.
I thought I had to give up film making to do what I do.
I was wrong.
I will be adding some stuff about THE SUICIDE FLOWERS in the coming weeks.
In the mean time I am going to be as shameless as I can.
If you know anyone in any of these bands who might want to talk shit or give an assist….
Even if they sue me it would help.
Shameless.
My grace
My church
My pain
My tears
My hurt
My god, I’ll say it again
Can I get it?
Can I get an Amen?
In the mean time if you think you might want to check out if what I do can work for you, hit me up and tell me what you want out of life and we will see if I can give you an assist.
If you think you can’t afford it then you aren’t willing to do the work.
If I thought you couldn’t do the work anyway, I wouldn’t work on donation, I’d charge $500 an hour up front.
I needed someone like me once and couldn’t find one and that’s why on the verge of being out on the streets I still do it this way.
Queen is a band that has that rare something that if for some reason you don’t like Queen, it says a whole lot more about you than it ever will about them. One of the most iconic bands in history that has left us a discography full of treasures for the soul as well as some kick ass Rock ‘N’ Roll.
Queens song ONE VISION is one of those soul reaching tunes that has inspired me for decades. Here’s why.
God works in mysterious ways, mysterious ways
One man, one goal, One mission. One heart, one soul, Just one solution. One flash of light, yeah, One god, one vision.
One flesh, one bone, One true religion. One voice, one hope, One real decision. Wowowowo, gimme one vision, yeah.
No wrong, no right. I’m gonna tell you there’s no black and no white. No blood, no stain. All we need is one worldwide vision.
We are all connected.
From the view of this Taltos everything in existence is a face and facet of God and Goddess who are the unity of masculine and feminine essence.
I like to think of it as “one human” instead of “man.” We have limited ourselves through speech to the masculine only for far too long.
What we say and how we say it shapes our view of life the Universe and most things. Somethings we all agree on while everything else we debate endlessly.
As a Taltos I have but one religion, love.
There are no holy scriptures that could ever encompass what love is and what it means to live love and make yourself love personified. Here’s why.
If everything is a face and facet of what God is and God is love, than we are the living breathing example of love in our life.
That’s the only religion we need. Anything else is an attempt at subjugation and controlling a mass of people.
We get lost in the ideas of right and wrong, good and evil, light and dark and forget that it is unification of self not segregation that brings peace with a side of bliss that can spread through the world and change everything.
Right and wrong are just that, ideas.
We debate about the degrees of evil as if somehow it matters.
What if all we truly have is decisions and consequences?
I had a dream when I was young, A dream of sweet illusion, A glimpse of hope and unity, And visions of one sweet union.
But a cold wind blows, And a dark rain falls, And in my heart it shows. Look what they’ve done to my dream, yeah.
One vision!
So give me your hands, Give me your hearts. I’m ready. There’s only one direction. One world, one nation, Yeah, one vision.
No hate, no fight, Just excitation, All through the night, It’s a celebration, wowowowo, yeah.
As children we hear stories and begin to daydream of what a world as one looks like.
As we grow the machine that is society strips that dream of what could be away from us in favor of just surviving and making a life in what is.
It’s only when we become truly interested in the sum instead of the some that we will even begin to move towards that one vision of a world at peace for the most part. There are always going to be fucktards trying to ruin it for everyone, that’s just human nature. There will always be those who feel they have the right to just take because they can.
I have always said to forget about the hate and heal the hurt.
You might be surprised the feeling that rises up from within when you focus your life on helping where you actually can. Think of the party if we all were dancing to the same tune in our hearts.
That music from within is love.
When you let love throw down the tracks and follow, it always leads right where you need to be.
It leads you right to where you personally can be of the greatest service to the sum and not just the self interest of your own life.
You may or may not be engaged in grand deeds, however the lives you touch will be forever changed.
That’s worth putting in the work to become whole and united within. It’s only in this unified projection of self that any has any hope of changing the reflection that is the rest of the world.
I have one vision of a world whose only religion is love.
It’s a dream big enough for all of us, however it’s a dream that leaves the choice to every other dreamer to make before it can happen.
There’s nothing you can do that can’t be done Nothing you can sing that can’t be sung Nothing you can say but you can learn how the play the game It’s easy
I love it when people tell me that what I’ve done, doing or say I will do is impossible. I’ve enjoyed, enjoy and look forward to enjoying doing what others think is impossible.
I love to sing.
I live to sing.
If you can say it, you can sing it.
Some call it the game of love for reasons that are as childish as we seem to act when we fall in love. The fear of rejection has us dancing around each other instead of talking to each other.
It’s when we talk to each other that it gets easier. First we have to break through that fear barrier that keeps us silent.
There’s nothing you can make that can’t me made No one you can save that can’t be saved Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time It’s easy
It’s all been done before.
Think of the life you would make for yourself and realize other people probably have had the same idea. Some have made that life. Some chase it like a dragon thinking if they slay the beast, they can claim it’s treasure that it has been hoarding in it’s cave.
That’s the metaphor of the dragon. Hoarding.
Hoarding riches and wisdom.
Dragons make heroes of the those who slay them.
What do you want to make yourself into that provides the life you want to live?
The only one stopping you is you.
No one can save you, they can only be there to accept the hand you reach out showing you’ve been working at saving your own ass. It’s their choice whether or not they save themselves from whatever it is they feel they need saving from.
I don’t feel as though I need to be saved from anything.
I saved myself years ago when I looked at the world as it is and turned my back. It’s not easy being an Empath with high level sensitivity. I saved my own ass the other night from an Empathic overload by simply walking away.
There was nothing I was going to do in that situation as a man of peace. I had already attempted guidance from this cooler head.
Rather than allow myself to be a part of what had degraded I set the example I would expect any to follow who claim to have given up violence in anyway. I lived the integrity of my words in my desire to never be a combatant ever again.
I’m more shocked than anyone who may have known me in my younger years to have become a pacifist. What locked it in was the last time I had to defend myself and I nearly killed someone in less than 10 sec.
I have trained myself in martial arts since I was 9. There is no school or belt that goes with what I taught myself over the years about the art of defending oneself.
The martial art I developed in response to my fear of my own capability is called Protection through Right Action. Simply put, never put yourself in a position to defend yourself and the Universe will give you a big assist in avoiding it.
It has not been easy to learn how to be me however it is getting easier every day.
There’s nothing you can know that isn’t known Nothing you can see that isn’t shown No where you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be It’s easy
There is nothing unknown only that which has been forgotten or hidden.
We look for deeper meaning an understanding in the things we see. We forget to feel what’s around us as well. What we feel can tell us much more than what we see and can often explain it.
If you’re there, there is no mistake about it. If you have a desire to be somewhere, you can go. Simply change your flow to allow yourself to be moved down the river of life that will bring the reflections of your projection.
Let go of the idea of controlling your life and get comfy with the terror of letting it all go and allowing yourself to be given what you need by The Big U to bring that life you wish to create to life.
It is scary to think about taking a leap of faith and trusting, not believing, trusting that where you drop into the flow will take you everywhere you ever wanted to go.
All you need is love Love is all you need
There is only one emotion and it is love. Every other name we give to the states of love are simply that the state of this being of love.
Our souls are made of emotional energy and we are love wrapped in flesh.
Think about what makes you sad or happy and the form love takes that shows a happy face or a sad one.
Our natural emotion is love.
Our natural state is to be love.
All you need is love to guide you in wisdom.
Love is patient.
Love is understanding.
Love responds not reacts.
Love is compassionate.
Love is merciful.
Love is what we are when we allow ourselves to be, instead of trying to be what they are selling us we should be.
When I find myself in times of trouble Mother Mary comes to me And in my hour of darkness She is standing right in front of me Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
In my life I often find the ones who guide me through my dark times are women. I think of all of us as having the ability to be a conduit for divine and sacred energy.
I’m a fan of the sacred darkness that accepts all as a mother would her children.
It’s why I love being out at night and will definitely be out for tonight’s full moon hangin’ at Children’s park.
We have a habit of asking The Big U for stuff and then asking over and over again as if we weren’t heard the first time.
It takes time for the Universe to do it’s thing and not upset the natural balance in fulfilling your request. I’ve been waiting to continue a conversation and I don’t ask repeatedly for that opportunity.
I’m attempting to live Karmic Law.
A patient mind reaps the greatest reward and the greatest reward is one that makes an impact.
That next conversation could have a profound impact on my life and the lives of whoever I find myself around afterwards.
And when the broken-hearted people Living in the world agree There will be an answer, let it be For though they may be parted There is still a chance that they will see There will be an answer, let it be
For a parent separated from their child, it is heartbreaking. For myself and what I’m doing right now, it’s good for my son to be with his mother.
The time will come when that will change.
And when the night is cloudy There is still a light that shines on me Shine on until tomorrow, let it be I wake up to the sound of music,
The light within is always reflected back.
Remember you are blessed being of light regardless of the darkness around you.
First thing I do most days after I wake up is turn on music. The words and the melody bringing me to life and helping me to remind myself “I woke up today the rest is gravy.”
Today is still the never ending best day of my life as it rolls and unfolds before me. I love my life as it unfolds and keeps getting better slowly but surely. Of course there will always be a stumble here and there. There will be reminder lessons of things I forget in the moment.
I trust the Big U has heard my every request to provide the life I’m living. It’s really difficult to get to the point you can put that in black and white knowing it will be tested.
All I can do is let it be and let it flow and move with the flow. Simply be me and allow all the work I put into myself reap what I have sown, I’m going to anyway, so why worry or allow myself to be impatient?
The payment silenced the masses Sanctified by oppression Unity took a backseat Sliding further into regression
Look around at the world you live in and the things that motivate your life.
Look at those who you see as being free.
They live based off of the oppression that raised them up.
They singled themselves out to take because they felt they deserved it or had earned it or had paid their dues or came from the right family or just really wanted it and they were willing to step on anyone to get it.
This is the effect of the law of attraction.
Basing life on desire and having your desire fulfilled.
Forget about earning it, if you want it bad enough you can create the energy vibration to bring it to you.
Let me tell you a story about someone I used to know.
They spent years wanting the one who got away.
When that other came back, well my friend was nothing that could satisfy the others desires for life.
My friend didn’t get what he wanted, he is getting what he needs to show him his belief in the law of attraction is a false belief based on desire not reality.
The time they spent together the second time around was a round of endless pain and misery. Even though he got what he wanted it was not what he needed and his life spiraled downward until he saw what he needed not wanted.
He lost sight that we are in and of our selves whole. We are 1 not 1/2.
Unity begins and ends in you.
Until you find the unity of one within, everything out here will be a painful lesson that is attempting to teach you that unity begins and ends within.
Until each of us can be whole as we are there is no unity within the world.
Until we see that if it is not good for the sum then we are lying to ourselves to feel OK about being apart of the some.
I feel angry I feel helpless Want to change the world I feel violent I feel alone Don’t try and change my mind
Who doesn’t feel helpless when they look at what we live in and think about how to change it.
It takes more than want.
It takes change.
That change absolutely must come from within.
This is an inescapable truth whether you like it or not. If no change is made within as Karmic Law says:
History repeats itself unless changed.
Look at the repeating history we are living.
We haven’t changed as one race in centuries.
We have been stuck in a place of endless desire and letting desire be our guide and that trip has led to this place of thinking if we want it bad enough we can have it.
What if we created it together with a focus on the sum not the some and what is best for one human race?
I am dedicated to the idea of one world, one race, no borders, no wars, globally one.
I am not alone.
It’s not about some new world order, it’s not about the next version of subjugation and control, it’s about recognizing the fact we are one race and need to act accordingly before we destroy ourselves.
Why hold down one to raise another Discrimination now on both sides Seeds of hate blossom further The world is heading for mutiny
We may rise and fall, but in the end We meet our fate together
For everyone we raise and elevate we hold down so many others.
We are equal and there is no justifiable or rational explanation to live another way.
To live any other way is damaging to the human spirit and to the sum.
We discriminate using a lot more than race.
Currently the one thing we use to discriminate more than any other thing is money.
If you don’t have it, it must be because you did it to you. You are responsible for your life and no one else.
That might hold true if we lived in a world that sought to live in the balance of the natural order of things. Instead we seek to go outside that natural order to satisfy our desires.
We are effected by the decisions of others.
Our lives thrown into turmoil because of the desire of someone else.
The results of the law of attraction.
In the law of attraction the only one that matters is you.
Fulfilling your desire, bringing your dreams to reality.
It’s an egocentric creation to forgo the labor of becoming and to let desire guide your life.
It forgets we are all one.
Look around the world at all the hate because a group of people wants this and another group wants this and instead of comprising on what’s best for the one human race we let it become about what’s best for this one group or that group or these groups over here and so on.
The world is heading for mutiny, not a violent one, one where the ideas of what is are thrown away in favor of something that is good for the sum not the some that currently reside in seats of authority dictating to the sum based on what is good for the some.
I have seen thousands that are spreading the same message world wide in various ways.
In my estimation that would mean there may as well be millions.
That means it is an inevitability that we will return to a natural order of things and that our wants will fade away to let us see our needs as one race.
Want still matters, however it must be tempered with need. It must be tempered with wisdom that thinks about what fulfilling our desires will cost the sum.
The goal is to be unified Take my hand be my brother
Society blind by color
When all we want is unity
The only way is one
My son told me something disturbing yesterday.
He told me that the kid who has been giving him problems at school is not getting addressed because the school is afraid of being seen as racist.
The kid giving my son problems is the only African American kid in his class. Because of this they have been lenient as to avoid being thought of racist.
A child’s behavior is being overlooked because of the color of his skin. He’s being allowed to be abusive towards other students because instead of seeing a child being a dick head, they see an African American.
Blinded by color.
Until we can see beyond the color of our skin and see each other simply as humans, how can we ever be one race?
My family is not the people I was born to. My family is one human race. The people I was born to just got me here. Think about how we feel as though we are obligated to take care of our family.
Now open that view up to include the whole human race.
It takes away the ability to to say no to giving a helping hand simply because you happen to be there.
Unity is in unifying yourself as one human being unified in mind body and spirit. Understanding you are whole as one and we are all connected as one is unity.
Unity is understanding what happens to one effects the sum that is one race.
Too often we let the idea of borders and countries allow us to forget the sum in favor of the few or the some.
It must hold true for all or it is a lie.
There is no personal truth.
Anyone who would tell you different is trying to sell you something.
There is a personal understanding of the truth and any one truth can be expressed infinite ways however the truth is not a personal thing, it simply is.
Why would someone tell you it’s OK to have a personal truth no one understands?
Could it be so they could hold on to their delusions as well?
Could it be so they can feed off the masses?
As long as the masses are buying it, no changes need to me made.
This is the law of attraction, a delusion sold so they can feed off you and never have to become one themselves. They can live off their want to live off of your want.
Their desire is feed off your desire. That is what the law of attraction is simply stated, desire feeding off desire.
They say when you dance with the Devil, you don’t change the Devil, the Devil changes you. I have often said the Devil has a fucked up job.
His job is to show you everything love isn’t, so you can discover on your own what love is.
Sometimes you need to take your life and SHAKE IT OUT as Florence and The Machine suggest in order to get that Devil off your back.
Regrets collect like old friends Here to relive your darkest moments I can see no way, I can see no way And all of the ghouls come out to play
And every demon wants his pound of flesh But I like to keep some things to myself I like to keep my issues drawn It’s always darkest before the dawn
The memories only hurt because you care. The memories stop hurting once you learn to see it as the lesson in life it was. Learn to let go of the regret. Until you do that those memories are the waking nightmare you have chosen them to be.
Keeping it all in and keeping it to yourself only makes it worse. Until you deal with it, you will push yourself into situations that will keep bringing it up. It can feel as though a nasty demon has it’s teeth sunk in deep to get that pound of flesh. It’s that pain that never ends until you realize you’re the one making it hurt.
And I’ve been a fool and I’ve been blind I can never leave the past behind I can see no way, I can see no way I’m always dragging that horse around
All of his questions, such a mournful sound Tonight I’m gonna bury that horse in the ground
Often we feel stupid for missing what was right in front of us all along.
Blinded by our life and what we want to do with it that we miss something.
Blinded by the pain of the past we won’t let go of.
Blinded by the desire to never let it happen again.
Holding on to the misery of days gone by is not much different than dragging a beaten half dead horse behind you every where you go. It’s cruel to think of someone actually doing that to a horse.
Why do we do it to ourselves?
Bury the fuckin’ horse already and let go of the pain of the past that holds you back from seeing what is right in front of you.
And I am done with my graceless heart So tonight I’m gonna cut it out and then restart
A heart in pain knows no grace.
To let the grace of love flow true, let go of the pain of the past and embrace the now. Understand why it happened to better be prepared for what’s either right in front of you or around the next corner.
And it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back And given half the chance would I take any of it back It’s a fine romance but it’s left me so undone
And I’m damned if I do and I’m damned if I don’t So here’s to drinks in the dark at the end of my road And I’m ready to suffer and I’m ready to hope It’s a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat ‘Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me
And it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back So shake him off
Think of the pain of the past as the Devil on your back that is keeping you from knowing what love is now.
Love is.
It’s messy as all hell and is at times is a whirlwind of joy and suffering wrapped in one. If you have never suffered, you have never loved. When you act out of love your ego dies and you sacrifice yourself for another so to speak. You become what they need you to be versus what they would want any to be.
It’s harder to be what they need than it is to give them what they want.
When you start to look for heaven, you begin to desire and see heaven as everything that has nothing to do with what love is.
As much as God and Goddess reside within each of us, The Devil is taking up residence as well. We give forms in our life through our experiences to these metaphors.
Those we exalt, those we despise.
We pretend it’s something different, however the behavior is the same.
Our inner divine allows us to forgive and learn and grow while our inner Devil holds onto the pain. The pain becomes a way to justify and/or rationalize why we do what we know we ought not do.
Shake The Devil off your back by letting go of the pain of the past and grow from the lessons learned and love now.
I had what some might consider a torturous childhood when they hear that my mother basically raised me on Neil Diamond. To me, it gave me one of the true lyrical masters of our time to soak in. Here’s why.
If you’re thinking that my life Is a hoot and a holler From the start of the day To the dark of the night And that its ringin’ like a bell That you only want to follow Gotta trust me when I say I’m just trying to get it right
If you can’t relate to those lyrics, you’re full of shit.
There isn’t a single one of us who isn’t just trying to get it right and right for our life whatever that is. I use Psychospirilosophy to figure that out for myself.
The one thing I tell myself is that if it doesn’t hold true for all than I’m about to start rationalizing like a mother fucker to feel OK about what I’m about to do or have done. I like to step outside myself and think about it as if some one else was telling this story of how they got to be where they are with the current issue they are attempting to either deal with or side step.
People have told me I’m pretty good at giving advice and well it does kind of just go with being a Taltos.
I never discovered wisdom until I starting following my own advice.
The psychospirilosophic view is one that takes the psychological effects on the human and it’s evolving condition into consideration first.
Why am I am feeling this way about what I am thinking about doing or have done?
There are times it’s not easy to know what the right thing to do is and sometimes that can change based on the situation you find yourself in. It’s never the same as what it was that one time or those times.
It’s always different.
I find at times it’s necessary for me to step back and take as long as I need to check myself before I totally fucking nuke myself into oblivion.
Still I think about myself As a lucky old dreamer If you’re askin’ me to tell Is it worth what I paid You gonna hear me say
Hell yeah it is And I say it loud I loved it all And I’m not too proud I freed my soul…just let it fly Hell yeah this crazy life around me It confuses and confounds me But it’s all the life I’ve got until I die Hell yeah it is
When the video clips that are the highlight reel of my life start playing, I’m never that disappointed and often quite entertained by the life I’ve led thus far.
Just last night I was telling a buddy about the time I was in a helicopter and the pilots decided to do their emergency restart training while my ass was strapped into a seat next to no door, just a wide open space.
This training maneuver required the pilot to shut the helicopter off and allow it to free fall like a brick out of the sky with my ass strapped in.
The pilot of course restarted it and got it flying right. Then they did it 3 more times.
If for some reason anyone ever asks me to get into a helicopter again, I’m fairly certain you all understand why I might respond with the words “FUCK THAT NOISE!”
While my life was not always as death defying as that moment, it has never really been boring.
Is it worth it?
Is everything that has happened up until right now been worth it for what right now is and where it is going?
Hell Yeah!
I often say and even threw it on a picture of Poppa Smoke “Pick your Death and Live accordingly.”
Lesson in my personal metaphors.
When I say the word “Live” I attach the meaning “to love life.”
Pick your Death and Love Life accordingly.
Up until a few years ago I lived at maximum speed never slowing down and always looking for the next kick ass memory to be made.
It gave me a lot of experience that aged me quite a bit.
I had lived letting my soul be free and it never mattered what crazy situation I found myself in, I just rolled with it and attempted to do what I felt was the right thing in the moment.
This is the second time in my life I bought a domain name for what I was doing at the time. The first time it led to me becoming a film producer with 2 independent film credits.
With this my goal, the whole reason I’m doing this is this simple. At some point I stopped doing foolish things and had to come to terms with accepting I had become somewhat wise as I was following my own advice and it was working just as well as it did when other people did it too.
Some of us never reach that stage and are the eternal children.
Some of us reach that stage at a young age that robs us of our childhood.
My life is weird as weird gets and realize the metric fuck ton I don’t tell you all compared to the stuff I do that even I admit pegs the weird shitometer.
However I wouldn’t trade my life for anything. I am exactly where I need to be to bring any dream I have to life.
Current dream.
Be the Taltos I am and keep doing this until the day I die.
I hear you wondering out loud Are you ever gonna make it? Will you ever work it out? Will you ever take a chance And just believe you can?
Hell yeah you will You’re gonna be okay And you might get lost But then you’ll find a way Don’t go alone Can’t be afraid Hell yeah This life is here and it’s made for livin’ And love’s a gift that’s made for givin’ You give it all away and have it still And Hell yeah you will
I think about the work I do with Life Designs and it’s purpose to teach people how to design their life to create the path to their dreams. There are times when we need someone who believes in us to be in our corner and motivate us to keep on keepin’ on and find the changes to make in the character to change the story.
I also think about the students I’ve had over the last few years. It’s bittersweet when they no longer need my guidance. It means we rarely if ever speak again.
Each and everyone of them are amazing human beings.
Each and everyone of them is missed.
Part my dedication to my life is to live love.
I give love freely.
Pure love not romantic love and no I don’t go around sleeping with women. Pure love, the kind of love that sees the soul and might notice the nifty flesh suit wrapped around it.
I give it away all day and I have an over abundance of pure love in my life.
The wealthiest man I know is me.
I’ve been living in a bowl With a lot of people staring With my feet on shaky ground And my head up in the sky But it’s where I want to be It’s a life that’s made for caring Got a song to pass the day And a girl to share the night
So if they ask you when I’m gone Was it everything he wanted? When he had to travel on Did he know he’d be missed? You can tell them this
Hell yeah he did! He saw it all He walked the line Never had to crawl He cried a bit But not for long Hell yeah He found the life that he was after Filled it up with love and laughter Finally got it right And made it fit Hell yeah he did!
I would rather have a woman to share the night with.
However, after 3 divorces, I’m in no hurry to make it 4 even though I am a monogamy addict. I think the 3 marriages prove that.
The death I picked out.
To have spent years with one woman, my 4th and final wife. To live love to the extent that we are able to transcend the body and simply ascend in one last physical expression of our unity in the flesh when we have had enough and are ready to go back to where ever it is we came from.
Call me crazy, I’ve heard it before.
I’m an Empath, I always feel when I’m missed and by whom, whether I want to or not.
In a weird way life has been exactly everything I ever wanted, just not the way I might have wanted it.
Embracing being Taltos made everything else drop into place to finally feel as though my life fit me. It unlocked the door to the room of my true reflections. No longer is it distorted what I see in thee that is also me.
It’s a nice room of mirrors to be in, however to get here you have to be truly you from the core.
I’ve been listening to Powerman 5000 for a few years now. Funny thing is I didn’t really start diggin’ in to the tracks Spider was throwin’ down until a couple years after I insulted him.
How many people become a fan of a band after they’ve met and insulted the lead singer?
I met Spider once through a mutual friend. That night while he was trying to tell me a funny story, I jumped the gun and said some smart ass hit I have apologized for since.
I have WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE on my “Me” playlist for a good reason. Let’s dive into the lyrics that for me are all about diving within.
what is it really that is in your head, what little life that you had just died i’m gonna be the one that’s taking over,
Taking the inward journey begins with letting the mind die and letting your higher self take over. Your higher self is your connection to what many would call God, in reality it’s our connection to existence and each other.
Those who’ve taken the journey get it, those who haven’t want to argue about it or want you to provide some sort concrete evidence that is all around them and they don’t even notice.
Somethings simply need to be experienced to be understood. The inward journey is about letting the world you think you know collide with the world as it really is.
now who’s the light and who is the devil, you can’t decide so i’ll be your guide
When you begin to see the functions of everything it turns it all upside down for a bit and trying to make sense of it without your high self there to be your guide is the fastest way to an I love me coat.
When I took my journey, I hit that point myself.
Like many others for a short period of time I had developed a God complex.
I was having trouble assimilating the massive understanding of what existence is and the role of each of us in it.
I’m human, no doubt about that.
I did see God’s job and I’m way too lazy. I also saw the Devil’s job, again way too lazy.
I have run into more than a few people over the last few years who have some interesting views about who they are and why. I have had people claim to be the following:
Isis
A Djinn
The Supreme Being
Loki
At one point I thought I was being trained to be the new Devil.
I was wrong.
I’m glad to be wrong.
Way too lazy.
Along this journey I had the guidance of my higher self showing me how I am just a human who can do some weird shit. With each of these other people I found a human who can do some weird shit.
I’ve met many others who can do the weird shit I do and weirder and we have come to the conclusion none of us is any kind of deity.
We are evidence of evolution and it’s continued effect on our species.
Many so called “Autistic” humans have a grasp of the working of the universe but no way to express it because the language does not exist for a lot of it.
It’s a constant stream of information that would leave most people catatonic.
Just because you can’t do it, don’t rule out the existence of those who can.
what is it really when they’re falling over, everything that you thought was denied i’m gonna be the one that’s takin over, now this is what it’s like when worlds collide
Once you start this journey you realize it never ends and that you only undergo a transformation that allows your living spirit to be present in everything you do and who you are. There is no way to explain what that existence is or even a road map to get there.
The only way to do it is give up control over to your higher self and let the worlds collide on the inside.
To explain the title let me give my interpretation of the metaphor known as the Djinn.
Better known as the mythological Genie of the lamp, the Djinn is often depicted as evil.
It was Barbara Eden in I DREAM OF JEANNIE that I first started to question what would it be like to be Genie.
Over the years I read a lot about the mythology of the Djinn. I also exposed my self to many pop culture representations of the Djinn, everything from a Disney cartoon to a horror film and even an episode of THE X-FILES.
It was THE X-FILES that first had me realize the tortured existence of what a Djinn would live if the legend is true. The wishes never come out like you think and for this we see the Djinn as evil.
The first thing every one of us thought when we first heard about getting wishes, was to wish for more wishes.
How fucked up is that?
The endless hunger of want.
We automatically key in on having our every desire filled instantly.
It was ALADDIN that examined the idea of using one of those wishes to set the Djinn free.
I though about it for a long time.
Put yourself in the shoes of this mythological creature. People wish for stuff they think will make their life complete. People wish to give up the idea of working for anything and just having it magically given to them.
I started to think why do I want to make a wish and why would I want that wish.
Then I started to think about being the guy granting the wishes.
The way you say it and the words you choose leave a lot open to interpretation.
In THE X-FILES when Mulder wishes for world peace, the Djinn shows him the world at peace and there are no human beings. Simply wipe us off the face of the planet and world peace is achieved.
I have heard the Devil is in the details. I started thinking about how to be as detailed as possible in creating a perfect wish.
The best I could come up with is to wish to be cured of the endless hunger of want yet still be alive and be able to enjoy life and for whoever or whatever is granting this wish to be able to say no or at least help guide the wishers to better wishes.
Is it the perfect wish?
For me it is as I see the Djinn as a captive of their own existence.
They have no free will to say no.
They are your slave.
There free will means nothing.
Sounds like a tortured existence to me.
I figured I could understand a being such of this, should it actually exist, being a bit grumpy and not feeling too bad about screwing with those who make ignorant wishes.
I am not saying I think it’s a good idea, I just get how it could happen if was to be real.
The endless hunger of want is what the Djinn feeds and maybe feeds on as well. Maybe our desires brought this myth to life to satisfy our unquenchable desire for more.
Perhaps the Djinn is such an evil prick about it as a way of trying to get us to be content with less and want less and enjoy what we have more.
The Church of Rock 'N' Roll 
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