What connection are you looking for

Give me what I could never ask for
Give me the drug you know I’m after
Connect me and you could be my chemical

Think about it for a minute.

What is it you want but could never ask for?

I have a few things on that list and I understand why each of them is on that list. I use myself as an example to create a connection through understanding. Though the experiences are different the lessons learned are often the same.

What is the drug I’m after?

I self medicate using coffee, dark chocolate almond milk, nicotine and marijuana.

Each a drug.

Each of us has a list of drugs we take and don’t even think twice about because we associate the word “drug” with substances.

TV is a drug.

Facebook is a drug.

Porn is a drug.

Movies are a drug.

Music is a drug.

Anything that causes a chemical change in the brain is a drug and is mind altering.

Sex is a drug.

Exercise is a drug.

Yoga is a drug.

Meditation is a drug.

Prayer is a drug.

Anything that causes a chemical change in the brain is a drug and is mind altering.

Any questions so far?

The drug I use other drugs for, the thing we all chase no matter how we do it is bliss.

Not love, bliss.

We search out for that blissful feeling that makes everything perfect no matter how fucked things might be. When you find that in a conversation, it’s a drug once experienced that is very difficult to let go of.

I’ve noticed people who get that blissful feeling from me often have a hard time letting me go.

For example there is a woman I’ve tried to kick out of my life who still reads all of this stuff. She did not provide that same blissful feeling in return. It was all work to put up with her.

There is no bliss within her so she has none to share and instead looks to feed off the bliss of others. My inner bliss is a connection to the universal consciousness. It’s a sea of never ending bliss that I rarely allow myself to remember I can experience at any time.

Bliss is a drug.

You can’t ask for bliss.

No matter what it is you do, the real drug we are all after is bliss.

I am the bliss for others that I seek for myself. I became what I desire most and find the ability to find it everywhere no matter how bad things might be around me or how other things may seem.

As I become my desire the mirrors of that desire keep popping up to remind me I made it to the room my projection has opened to me.

I have attracted nothing. I have even seen it everywhere I go in who talks to me and who doesn’t. I see it in the conversations we have. It’s why I feel the law of a attractions is a lie and the law of reflections is closer to the actuality of life.

We reap what we sow not what we want.

Our thoughts create our reality not our desires.

Our desires shape what thoughts we allow.

Our thoughts become the words and actions that are reflected back at us.

What is it you want so much that you would become it to have it in your life?

Figure out what that is and you found your purpose in life.

Only you can figure it out for you.

A Rock ‘N’ Roll History Lesson: Why Elvis was the King

In the history of Rock ‘N’ Roll in 1959 the down years of rock began that ended in 1964 when The Beatles showed up.

In 1959 Elvis Presley enlisted in the U.S. Army.

A king serves in every way.

If one would not take the protection of the community upon their shoulders then one is not a king in that kingdom.

One lives within the kingdom of kings.

Around the time that Elvis went Army, Jerry Lee Lewis was set to become the new King of Rock ‘N’ Roll. What tripped him up was marrying his 14 year old cousin.

1959 was also the year of The Day the Music Died. The original name for the Don Mclean song we all now call American Pie. The name American Pie in the song was a reference to the name of the plane carrying Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens and The Big Bopper. The other 3 rising Kings of Rock.

When I was 13 I took Rock ‘N’ Roll History from Mr Haulterhaus in summer school. I think we can agree it was the best class I ever had for what I am doing with my life.

Thank you sir for the best class I ever actually paid attention in.

However in high school I slept through most of your U.S. History class.

Who am I kidding I think I caught you napping a couple times too.

Anyway back to the history. The Beatles changed Rock ‘N’ Roll more than any other single band ever.

All your taste is in your mouth if you don’t have some Beatles tunes you dig hardcore. There will never be a band that was as big and as important to music history as The Beatles.

Instead of a single king it was  band of bards that saved Rock ‘N’ Roll. They also took this American invention and made it world wide.

Rock now belonged to the world.

Music in every form belongs to the world.

Everything here belongs here and none of us owns a damn thing we are taking when we leave here.

Not even our culture.

Not our history.

Not our present.

Not even our future.

We came here, to do this here.

When we go, we don’t really give a shit about here as much as we would like to think.

It’s impossible to escape the luxury these bards and kings have gone on to live in. They showed off well. I am not judging anyone. I am simply observing what their choices were.

Life is a series of choices that creates the path before you as you go.

It’s never ending path until you no longer have a body. The best die young and live on in legend and history before they have a chance to live the success that is heaped upon them.

The idea of people watching our every move is one that freaks most people out and it should. Would you want millions or billions of people knowing or interested in what you did today?

Most of us like to think we would handle it really well. We lie really well to ourselves because well fuck it sometimes it gets us through a tough situation.

However if we are to be a king or queen in our life and looking to our community as a kingdom full of kings and queens all sharing the responsibility and knowing where they can serve best in being who they are can be a beautiful thing to watch in fluid motion.

Saturday night I had the honor of having several young kings and a few young queens come and pick a card from my soul deck.

I sat in my corner out of the way and watched the show before me. I created a wonderful bond with two brothers and kings in their own right.

I spent time with a young soul who desperately needed it and didn’t even realize it as I let him study everything I was doing.

The one part of the night that will live on as part of my personal Rock ‘N’ Roll history April 23rd 2016 was the performance of a band with no name winging it and bringin’ it from the soul for a few minutes and it was bad ass.

I want to see that band and my other singer Friday night for another show at some point in the evening no matter who is or isn’t watching.

Rock ‘N’ Roll never dies, it simply has a changing of the guard and with bands such as Buckcherry and Halestorm inspiring the next generation, I can safely say long live The Church of Rock ‘N’ Roll and the prophets it produces for all time.

Remember to me going to church is everywhere you can hear the music that speaks to your soul. Our churches may differ however the feeling is something we all share.

Whisper if you feel me.

 

The Lessons of Kings

If you step up looking for a crown
I have to knock you down
The warrior teaches as he was taught
This is how I fought
Leaving all my foes slain
Challenge me again to bring the pain

I will bring it
You’ll see and feel it
Even the masters have hard time
Learning these lessons of mine
I take the time to reach
When I see one I might teach

The masters class that many fail before they begin
Too caught up in glory and sin
Bring your ego and I shred it
Come with too much pride and regret it
The teachers teacher and the guides guide
And I slay the slayers who won’t abide

To get in my door
No need to kiss the floor
Come and look me in the eye
None come to me but to die
Not the mortal death I bring
But to kill the ego with a sting

No matter the mask you wear
I see through it with my stare
For those who make it this far
Time to release your inner star

There is no getting by me
There is no escape
If you found me
This is your fate
It’s already too late

A true king serves the needs of all and is meek

He hides his power unless it’s needed

What my One Vision looks like

Queen is a band that has that rare something that if for some reason you don’t like Queen, it says a whole lot more about you than it ever will about them. One of the most iconic bands in history that has left us a discography full of treasures for the soul as well as some kick ass Rock ‘N’ Roll.

Queens song ONE VISION is one of those soul reaching tunes that has inspired me for decades.  Here’s why.

God works in mysterious ways, mysterious ways

One man, one goal,
One mission.
One heart, one soul,
Just one solution.
One flash of light, yeah,
One god, one vision.

One flesh, one bone,
One true religion.
One voice, one hope,
One real decision.
Wowowowo, gimme one vision, yeah.

No wrong, no right.
I’m gonna tell you there’s no black and no white.
No blood, no stain.
All we need is one worldwide vision.

We are all connected.

From the view of this Taltos everything in existence is a face and facet of God and Goddess who are the unity of masculine and feminine essence.

I like to think of it as “one human” instead of “man.” We have limited ourselves through speech to the masculine only for far too long.

What we say and how we say it shapes our view of life the Universe and most things. Somethings we all agree on while everything else we debate endlessly.

As a Taltos I have but one religion, love.

There are no holy scriptures that could ever encompass what love is and what it means to live love and make yourself love personified. Here’s why.

If everything is a face and facet of what God is and God is love, than we are the living breathing example of love in our life.

That’s the only religion we need. Anything else is an attempt at subjugation and controlling a mass of people.

We get lost in the ideas of right and wrong, good and evil, light and dark and forget that it is unification of self not segregation that brings peace with a side of bliss that can spread through the world and change everything.

Right and wrong are just that, ideas.

We debate about the degrees of evil as if somehow it matters.

What if all we truly have is decisions and consequences?

I had a dream when I was young,
A dream of sweet illusion,
A glimpse of hope and unity,
And visions of one sweet union.

But a cold wind blows,
And a dark rain falls,
And in my heart it shows.
Look what they’ve done to my dream, yeah.

One vision!

So give me your hands,
Give me your hearts.
I’m ready.
There’s only one direction.
One world, one nation,
Yeah, one vision.

No hate, no fight,
Just excitation,
All through the night,
It’s a celebration, wowowowo, yeah.

As children we hear stories and begin to daydream of what a world as one looks like.

As we grow the machine that is society strips that dream of what could be away from us in favor of just surviving and making a life in what is.

It’s only when we become truly interested in the sum instead of the some that we will even begin to move towards that one vision of a world at peace for the most part. There are always going to be fucktards trying to ruin it for everyone, that’s just human nature. There will always be those who feel they have the right to just take because they can.

I have always said to forget about the hate and heal the hurt.

You might be surprised the feeling that rises up from within when you focus your life on helping where you actually can. Think of the party if we all were dancing to the same tune in our hearts.

That music from within is love.

When you let love throw down the tracks and follow, it always leads right where you need to be.

It leads you right to where you personally can be of the greatest service to the sum and not just the self interest of your own life.

You may or may not be engaged in grand deeds, however the lives you touch will be forever changed.

That’s worth putting in the work to become whole and united within. It’s only in this unified projection of self that any has any hope of changing the reflection that is the rest of the world.

I have one vision of a world whose only religion is love.

It’s a dream big enough for all of us, however it’s a dream that leaves the choice to every other dreamer to make before it can happen.

Whisper if you feel me.

Roses and Relationships

We both lie silently still in the dead of the night
Although we both lie close together we feel miles apart inside
Was it something I said or something I did?
Did my words not come out right?
Though I tried not to hurt you
Though I tried
But I guess that’s why they say

Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn

Yeah it does

I love that this bands name is Poison.

Think of it this way, when our romantic relationships are going down the toilet it feels as like we’ve been poisoned by that which we love most.

We all experience those relationships that end for whatever reason. I have been married 3 times however I have been heart and soul broken 8 times and I am working on 9. I forgot one when I was talking about this last night with a brother.

People grow at different rates and often find they grow apart when one has no interest in growing and the other feels the need from within to grow and continue becoming.

The loneliest feeling there is, is when that which we hold dearest to us as we sleep feels as though they are anywhere else. That our presence once loved is now becoming tolerated in hopes things can go back top the they they used to be.

It hurts to grow a part. It hurts to rip that mating of two souls a part as two grow at different rates that can lead to leaving the bliss behind that once was to allow the rose we are to close as the bloom no longer has that sweet smell.

Instead it’s the thorns that make us bleed as we hold on to the stem of what we once had no need to hold. It bloomed always there for us. It offered it’s scent to us alone.

We hurt ourselves by holding on that which was. The stem was the rose before it ever bloomed. If the rose can not be held gently then it will always cause you to bleed.

I listen to our favorite song playing on the radio
Hear the DJ say love’s a game of easy come and easy go
But I wonder does he know?
Has he ever felt like this?
And I know that you’d be here right now
If I could have let you know somehow
I guess

Though it’s been a while now
I can still feel so much pain
Like a knife that cuts you the wound heals
But the scar, that scar remains

Some songs in my life I have let go of. I let go of them so I can find a new song that inspires that feeling based on who inspires that feeling. I let go of the love not lost, the love whose chapter came to an end so a new chapter can begin.

We have all felt like this at one point in our lives or another if we are doing it right and loving hard. Wearing our hearts on our sleeves and being the fools for love that for some of us has led to wisdom.

I met a new sister last night who wise and fiercely strong. Courageous as they come in my opinion.

I needed a new sister I could relate with though our life experience is vastly different however the ones we have become are the reminder we each need on a occasion that sometimes it’s nice to be noticed for who we are and not what we are showing in the moment.

How the pain truly goes away is two stages.

One is to be at peace at the thought of them.

Two is to thank them for the lessons learned so that you could learn to better love who you are.

To love the rose you are ever becoming.

We all have our scars, I call them my lessons of what to not do again if I am to truly love myself as I would want to be loved by another.

Random thought on bliss

When love is pure it is true bliss that becomes what is felt in the present moment as you connect in love pure and true.

When we let the spirit connect the love it creates is the bliss that has no need of the flesh.

There is the sweetest of bliss to be found in connecting the flesh and it is the purity of the love that allows the flesh to connect as needed in the moment to keep the bliss flowing.

That rarely involves sex and always involves intimacy or letting someone in your room for the moment when you need and it’s there for you.

Be love, sow in love pure and true and always reap bliss pure and true no matter it’s form in the moment.

Love is all

There’s nothing you can do that can’t be done
Nothing you can sing that can’t be sung
Nothing you can say but you can learn how the play the game
It’s easy

I love it when people tell me that what I’ve done, doing or say I will do is impossible. I’ve enjoyed, enjoy and look forward to enjoying doing what others think is impossible.

I love to sing.

I live to sing.

If you can say it, you can sing it.

Some call it the game of love for reasons that are as childish as we seem to act when we fall in love. The fear of rejection has us dancing around each other instead of talking to each other.

It’s when we talk to each other that it gets easier. First we have to break through that fear barrier that keeps us silent.

There’s nothing you can make that can’t me made
No one you can save that can’t be saved
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time
It’s easy

It’s all been done before.

Think of the life you would make for yourself and realize other people probably have had the same idea. Some have made that life. Some chase it like a dragon thinking if they slay the beast, they can claim it’s treasure that it has been hoarding in it’s cave.

That’s the metaphor of the dragon. Hoarding.

Hoarding riches and wisdom.

Dragons make heroes of the those who slay them.

What do you want to make yourself into that provides the life you want to live?

The only one stopping you is you.

No one can save you, they can only be there to accept the hand you reach out showing you’ve been working at saving your own ass. It’s their choice whether or not they save themselves from whatever it is they feel they need saving from.

I don’t feel as though I need to be saved from anything.

I saved myself years ago when I looked at the world as it is and turned my back. It’s not easy being an Empath with high level sensitivity. I saved my own ass the other night from an Empathic overload by simply walking away.

There was nothing I was going to do in that situation as a man of peace. I had already attempted guidance from this cooler head.

Rather than allow myself to be  a part of what had degraded I set the example I would expect any to follow who claim to have given up violence in anyway. I lived the integrity of my words in my desire to never be a combatant ever again.

I’m more shocked than anyone who may have known me in my younger years to have become a pacifist. What locked it in was the last time I had to defend myself and I nearly killed someone in less than 10 sec.

I have trained myself in martial arts since I was 9. There is no school or belt that goes with what I taught myself over the years about the art of defending oneself.

The martial art I developed in response to my fear of my own capability is called Protection through Right Action. Simply put, never put yourself in a position to defend yourself and the Universe will give you a big assist in avoiding it.

It has not been easy to learn how to be me however it is getting easier every day.

There’s nothing you can know that isn’t known
Nothing you can see that isn’t shown
No where you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be
It’s easy

There is nothing unknown only that which has been forgotten or hidden.

We look for deeper meaning an understanding in the things we see. We forget to feel what’s around us as well. What we feel can tell us much more than what we see and can often explain it.

If you’re there, there is no mistake about it. If you have a desire to be somewhere, you can go. Simply change your flow to allow yourself to be moved down the river of life that will bring the reflections of your projection.

Let go of the idea of controlling your life and get comfy with the terror of letting it all go and allowing yourself to be given what you need by The Big U to bring that life you wish to create to life.

It is scary to think about taking a leap of faith and trusting, not believing, trusting that where you drop into the flow will take you everywhere you ever wanted to go.

All you need is love
Love is all you need

There is only one emotion and it is love. Every other name we give to the states of love are simply that the state of this being of love.

Our souls are made of emotional energy and we are love wrapped in flesh.

Think about what makes you sad or happy and the form love takes that shows a happy face or a sad one.

Our natural emotion is love.

Our natural state is to be love.

All you need is love to guide you in wisdom.

Love is patient.

Love is understanding.

Love responds not reacts.

Love is compassionate.

Love is merciful.

Love is what we are when we allow ourselves to be, instead of trying to be what they are selling us we should be.

All I need is love.

All I am is love wrapped in flesh.

There is always an answer

When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

In my life I often find the ones who guide me through my dark times are women. I think of all of us as having the ability to be a conduit for divine and sacred energy.

I’m a fan of the sacred darkness that accepts all as a mother would her children.

It’s why I love being out at night and will definitely be out for tonight’s full moon hangin’ at Children’s park.

We have a habit of asking The Big U for stuff and then asking over and over again as if we weren’t heard the first time.

It takes time for the Universe to do it’s thing and not upset the natural balance in fulfilling your request. I’ve been waiting to continue a conversation and I don’t ask repeatedly for that opportunity.

I’m attempting to live Karmic Law.

A patient mind reaps the greatest reward and the greatest reward is one that makes an impact.

That next conversation could have a profound impact on my life and the lives of whoever I find myself around afterwards.

And when the broken-hearted people
Living in the world agree
There will be an answer, let it be
For though they may be parted
There is still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be

For a parent separated from their child, it is heartbreaking. For myself and what I’m doing right now, it’s good for my son to be with his mother.

The time will come when that will change.

And when the night is cloudy
There is still a light that shines on me
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be
I wake up to the sound of music,

The light within is always reflected back.

Remember you are blessed being of light regardless of the darkness around you.

First thing I do most days after I wake up is turn on music. The words and the melody bringing me to life and helping me to remind myself “I woke up today the rest is gravy.”

Today is still the never ending best day of my life as it rolls and unfolds before me. I love my life as it unfolds and keeps getting better slowly but surely. Of course there will always be a stumble here and there. There will be reminder lessons of things I forget in the moment.

I trust the Big U has heard my every request to provide the life I’m living. It’s really difficult to get to the point you can put that in black and white knowing it will be tested.

All I can do is let it be and let it flow and move with the flow. Simply be me and allow all the work I put into myself reap what I have sown, I’m going to anyway, so why worry or allow myself to be impatient?

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Do you feel me?

.

The Karma of Love

This song plays heavily into the metaphors I attach to color. Here’s why.

Loving would be easy if your colors were like my dream
Red, gold and green

Poppa Smoke personal color metaphors 101, please feel free to create your own.

I use purple as I associate it with the crown chakra and the enlightened view one gets in using what red means to me by exercising patience.

To me the opposite of patience is wrath.

Love requires patience to find the understanding that allows wisdom to flow from the heart which to me I use green, which is the color associated with the heart chakra. For an Empath our heart chakra is our energy powerhouse.

I also associate green with friendship.

Laughter is healing energy and you always find ways to laugh at and with your friends and often find yourself being the target of the joke.

I tell people “The more you get to know me, the meaner I get.”

What that means is that as we spend time together we learn from each other what can be taken in jest and the laughter is shared versus anyone feeling disrespected.

It takes patience and time to learn each other’s boundaries. While anything can be funny, not every thing is funny in the moment and some things are only funny to us in the moment.

What good is healing if it can’t be shared?

To me it ain’t worth much.

Get what you give.

That brings me to gold. A color I associate with purity. Let the love be pure to be best friends giving each other the patience to learn from each other why you fit together like pieces to a puzzle.

Every day is like survival
You’re my lover not my rival

I play Magic: The Gathering to compete with my friends.

You never compete with a lover.

When they say “All is fair in love and war.”

It’s not a challenge to make a war out of love.

It means when your lover says “It’s not fair what you do for me and I don’t feel like I do enough for you.”

It’s when you both feel as though there is no way I could be this lucky.

It’s not fair with who they are and everything.

Yet still we love each other and desire to have that conversation that never ends, however gets interrupted by life and naps.

It’s not fair to those who don’t have that in life.

All is fair in love and when in love, fuck fair and enjoy what the Big U wanted give you that you could never ask for.

To do that and have that perfectly flawed flawless reflection of the projection you’ve become, Red, Gold and Green meet another color that only lovers share.

Whisper if you feel me.

What are you afraid of?

I am a man who walks alone
And when I’m walking a dark road
At night or strolling through the park

When the light begins to change
I sometimes feel a little strange
A little anxious when it’s dark.

The light we become is born from our darkness. We put things in  our darkness we would not want the rest of the world to see out of fear of being judged and seen as if there is something wrong with us.

We always walk alone in our darkness whether we walk the streets or take a stroll through any park. It doesn’t matter if it’s day or night our darkness is always around us.

 Have you run your fingers down the wall
And have you felt your neck skin crawl
When you’re searching for the light ?
Sometimes when you’re scared to take a look
At the corner of the room
You’ve sensed that something’s watching you.

No one likes to be watched unless they have put themselves at the center of things. When we sense the unseen taking interest in us it can sometimes bring about fear. You feel it there, however you can’t see it or touch it and it can be unnerving.

I always say that if there was a personification of God it would make God the ultimate stalker. That idea of something or someone ever present ever watching is a scary one when we are not at peace with who we are and the things we do when we are alone.

However we always get a sense of the people we meet.

We are spirits wrapped in flesh and we are all connected.

I say everything in existence is a face and facet of what God truly is. We have a lower self that enjoys all the pleasures the flesh has to offer. No matter how dark the desire is, the flesh can find a way to enjoy it.

The higher self is our connection to what some call the Universal Consciousness and I call the Big U. I call it the Big U because it’s all of you in spirit. We are a hive mind that takes the form of flesh to enjoy what individuality is and can be.

 Watching horror films the night before
Debating witches and folklore
The unknown troubles on your mind
Maybe your mind is playing tricks
You sense,and suddenly eyes fix
On dancing shadows from behind.

At times setting ourselves up to be scared can be fun.

A scared woman will cuddle closer to the one next to her.

A scared man will cuddle closer to the one next to him.

I’ve had a lot of conversations about Majick recently. Real Majick not illusion, not some long forgotten secret art, something we all do every day in every way without realizing it most of the time.

The Universe manifests for us and will allow us to think we are doing it ourselves and play into our ego expression.

This often leads many to feeling as though they are Wizards or Sorcerers or Witches and for some, they go off the deep end and think they are a god or a Djinn or something other than human.

We want to feel as though we have the power because we fear being weak. Funny thing is the ultimate power in the Universe is choice. Our choices create the path before us.

Karmic Law says and science has proven, our thoughts create our realities.

I forget who I was talking to the other night who said “Our thoughts are our prayers and our words our spells.”

Wise words and a simple way to view the Majick we all do.

When one becomes their light, they leave their darkness behind.

For me, I am a recovering sex addict. So for me I became a Tantra master in order to leave my desires at home and I go out in search of growth, learning, friendship, family and pure love connections.

My darkness is nothing for any to see except those I become lovers with. I have no need to be a lover with every woman and I’m not into men. I’ve thought about it, simply not my thing. However I enjoy hanging out with gay men, they tend to be entertaining. They also have strength and courage as many of them came out to families who don’t get them.

I respect them, they have been through some shit and probably take more than they should from a world still homophobic.

What’s to be afraid of?

I often find those who experience homophobia are often denying the desires they have within them.

Courage is not the absence of fear it’s knowing you’re afraid and saying “Fuck this shit, I’m doing it anyway.”

“I’m going to be me anyway”

“I’m going to talk to ______ anyway.”

“Fuck fear!”

It’s finding a way to do what you’re afraid of not because the fear is gone, you do it because you refuse to let fear run your life. I often find on the other side of my fears is the life I never would have thought I could have.

It’s scary to do what I do in this world as it is. It’s scary to tell the world “I’ll give you the benefit of what and who I am and what I can do without ever asking for anything in return.”

My desire is to never let fear make my choice.

My choice is to stand, face my fears and do it anyway.

As for what I keep in my darkness, my peace and my side of bliss.

It’s what creates that bliss in the light I choose to be. I give all that I am to any around.

Tonight I’m taking my Magic cards out to hang with some new friends who also play Magic: The Gathering. I’m bringing bliss with me, the bliss I find in allowing my higher self to connect me to the bliss all around and within us.

I’m also looking forward to kickin’ some ass on the table.

If you’re going to play a game, play to win. The only game I play right now is Magic: The Gathering and I look forward to the gathering around the park bench tonight.

I go out in the dark because there is nothing fear but fear itself as JFK once said.

I’m also nocturnal and I spend most of my day giving my energy to my parents so they can do what they need to do. It drains me all day long and I sleep off and on through out the day.

Fear of the dark, fear of the dark
I have a constant fear, thought you heard
Fear of the dark, fear of the dark
I have a phobia that someone’s always there.

I find comfort that there is always something or someone there. Understanding we are never truly alone and that loneliness is nothing more than a choice.

What are you afraid of?

Face your fears.

Whisper if you feel me.

These boots walk over no one

When I go out to do what I do I strap my boots on. The boots I wear I received 24 years ago in June. They’re my basic training combat boots from the Air Force.

I thought about using the song THESE BOOTS ARE MADE FOR WALKING, to tell this tale, however I found the song has no relation to me and my boots.

I walk all over no one and see no reason to ever to do that.

I walk to people and I walk away, to walk all over is to insist the need for vengeance or vindication or a sense of victory.

The victory is when the war within comes to an end and you can walk away because there is nothing to fight or fight for.

I wear my boots to remind me of where I came from.

To remind me that the Air Force taught me integrity.

To remind me to walk my talk.

To remind me to live my integrity.

I am in an entirely new line of service to the people and the land and my boots help me remember that.

Friday night a Brother reminded me who I was and who I have become when he said “Warrior Love”

I replied “I am on the pure love mission but you stay on warrior duty.”

It’s a new role for me. I have a warriors heart and always have. However the time for me came to be nothing more than a teacher and a guide. I am no healer and I am no protector and I am no longer the warrior I was.

I’ll confess I have studied martial arts for decades and I have the ability to rip an attackers throat out based on the warrior I was.  I am not interested and if I could, I would forget everything I know about physical combat, all combat for that matter.

I’m a Hippy with a Rock ‘N’ Roll heart. A man of peace. A man of love, the pure love the world needs more of. I’m not even interested in debate.

My style of fighting for my life these days is to simply say here I am and if you can’t hang with me, walk away, because I am going now where.

I find the people who have a hard time being around me are fighting their own war and I have no desire to be apart of it. Instead I like to help people see how to end that internal conflict as this reflection has no rage to project.

There is a difference between standing your ground and refusing to move and fighting.

Look at Gandhi.

A man of peace who never fought, he stood his ground and refused to be moved. If I am in the home of another you bet your ass I leave if they ask.

However stadnin’ out on the street, I am not going anywhere. I am going back again and again. I found a new favorite Friday night place to hang out and talk to people outside. It upset some people who like to use it as their personal feeding ground.

Feeding off the energy of others. Me I find my presence negates their feeding.

Like it says in HUNGER STRIKE, I won’t feed on the powerless.

Some people have no problem feeding on anyone and the powerless make it easier and sweeter to stalk. There are Empaths who like to feed off your light to fuel their dark desires.

They often make themselves the center of things and show off and draw attention to themselves.

When you watch someone trying to feed all night in this manner it’s pathetic. You see how hollow they are allowing them selves to be the mirror of your light in order to feed on you.

It’s disgusting.

It’s the lowest form of using the gift it is to be an Empath.

It’s inhuman and vampiric in nature. These would be the energy vampires you hear about. Nothing more than Empaths who have decided to feed off the energy of people without giving back.

I stood my ground Friday night and did no fighting. I stood my ground and ruined the feeders feast and I will be around to make sure that one never feeds around me again.

I don’t have to fight, I just have to show up and let it flow.

A Taltos is often their communities early warning system, feeling what’s coming from a mile away giving the community time to prepare. In history a Hungarian King was thought to be Taltos as his early warning prepared the country to fight off would be invaders who thought it was easy pickings.

I wear boots to remind me to live my integrity and walk my talk.

The Love is Free the Sex you Pay for

soulstar

I’m a Hippy with a Rock ‘N’ Roll heart.

I look back at the free love movement from decades ago and I can clearly see why it failed.

Today I wander about and talk with many and the common theme is psychedelic drugs and taking that kind of trip to expand consciousness and awareness. For me total sobriety is what most describe an acid trip as.

I was born with that total awareness.

The drugs are a cheat and a shortcut to use instead of doing the work. I’ve spoken with many who have taken so much LSD that it has forever changed them and not in helpful ways.

Cosmic Alchemy 101.

To receive one must give.

When we shortcut it we give up chunks of ourselves to what or whoever we are using to shortcut it.

Some use sex.

In fact there was a guy, you know someone who will fuck you because they can, that was selling sex as a way to super-consciousness with the idea that a man should only orgasm once a year.

Quick biology lesson.

For men it’s actually healthy to orgasm several times a week and reduces prostate swelling over time. It actually keeps the prostate functioning better over time.

Another part of Tantric art is to self induce the orgasmic state alone with out the pay off. To me that’s selfishness to only experience growth on your own for yourself.

The free love movement of long ago included fuckin’ anyone because “Hey man it’s all about the love so why not?”

Here’s why not.

In sex we exchange pieces of our souls with each other. Over time we become ingrained into each other and telepathic communication increases. When we give our bodies to whoever, we’re creating a chaotic mess within us and sharing those we have taken on with whoever we are exchanging pieces with now.

We are the sum of all we take on and in.

We fracture our soul and give away facets of our soul in exchange for a fuck, an orgasm that we feel entitled to because it was consensual and it was legal so why not.

You can damage your soul to the point where no matter how good you look on the outside you need to take on more and more from others. What does this look like?

We don’t always exchange the best of us for the best of them. Often one gets the best of it and the other is left with the rest of it or worse yet, left feeling hollow as if there was no return, no exchange.

People who use people for their good time rarely if ever give anything back. They take and take and take.

The other night I set myself with the intent to give pure love. I received it back up until I met one human. After that I had nothing left to give as this human unknowingly drained me out. They thought they were doing me some good and it backfired.

The intent was a good one, however they made an assumption about what I needed instead of talking to me to find out.

Then I was led into an environment that for me is harmful. Again an assumption was made without finding out why I stay outside and don’t go in.

Again the intent was to attempt to assist me, instead it injured me and required I take protective measures to protect myself.

I often find myself in position to teach other teachers and guide other guides. I often find myself showing the masters that they have become masters for themselves and need no further teaching or guidance.

If you think about the idea of community and mix it with the idea of it taking a village to raise a child, you begin to see that a lot of what we think of as a good time is harmful to the community and the children born from it and in it.

A child conceived while in altered states brought on through the use of drugs and alcohol will have a profound effect on the child created. Who you are in that moment has a profound effect on the child conceived.

Our essence begins with the emotional state in it’s totality of our parents, we are the essence of them preceding our existence in conception.

Being free with love negates protecting oneself, being free with sex gives pieces of ourselves away that may never be found again.

To me it has nothing to do with morality and everything to do with understanding how energy  works.

It has nothing to do with being a downer on the party and everything to do with understanding the cost of the so called fun.

We grew up waiting for our turn to get drunk, throw up and be somebody.

We grew up waiting for our turn to take Acid or Mushrooms or DMT.

Personally I want to try Mushrooms and DMT, however I will never touch Acid.

It takes a village and this is what our villages have been producing. People, human beings hell bent on destroying their bodies, minds and souls because it’s what they grew up watching.

Whisper if you feel me.

Every Road

ssf2

Feels like I’ve been down every road

Never seem to be able to lighten the load

I found what I was looking for

Waiting for the knock at the door

Since that day

I’ve been livin’ a new way

Takin’ in the sights

Avoiding the fights

Found a stage on the side of the street

Started singin’ and it felt sweet

Was the best part of the night

The rest was a fight

A fight to maintain and go slow

With the singing it was letting go and letting it flow

No players joined us

This trio creating lines around a chorus

There was no one there to watch as we sang away

We didn’t need ’em anyway

All the world is indeed a stage

If they gotta pay to get in you’re performing in a cage

A cage built by a view

A cage built by you

If the music is really inside

Playing indoors is another way to hide

I long for the days long since gone

Where a bard made a living through the evolution of the song

A captured moment of what is all around

Wrapping it in love to make a beautiful sound

The voice is all you need

To let your heart bleed

The tune can get them on their feet to dance

Put’s them in a trance

The words they may ignore

However the seed is still sown in their core

It takes a mix

To give ’em a fix

Let it flow

It will grow

Let the flow find the stage

Forget about the cage

Belt it out unrestrained

Leave ’em all forever changed

We need to fill out the band

Start performing everywhere we stand

Whether it be in the park or on the street

Let’s give a song to all we meet

Never thought I wanted to perform

Now it’s the never ending storm

A fire swirling all around me

Stripping away that which binds me

To sing it out loud

With or without a crowd

I am done with cages

Let’s explore some stages

Get on with the show

Let it flow

Love Is

What is love?

Love is.

Love is kind in times of sorrow.

Love is courageous when faced with fear.

Love is fierce in defense and protection of the weak.

Love is truth.

Love is patient to understand all views before making a choice.

Love is wise.

Love is unconditional.

Love is family.

Love is humanity.

Love is the manifestation of dreams and of hope and faith in love.

It exists in actions and words that inspire greatness in others.

Love is understanding of the connectedness of all life and how to live harmoniously with that energy of life and love.

Love bows to none and serves all.

This is what love is.

It is the honest expression of all that brings all things to a life that is unified with mind body and spirit.

Unification is what love is.

This unification of self leads to a unification with all.

Love is.

Be love and never be lost again.

Thank you

I say it and so do you
How do you mean it through and through?

I think of what it means to me
To let these words be aimed at thee

What do I thank you for?
Is it this moment or one before?

I look at my own life as it came to be
To share this moment you and me

I lived the pain of my life, sometimes twice
To be here with you in this life’s slice

A slice of my life I share with you
To give you my inner view

This time together won’t be missed
This is not just another thing to do on the list

Here I share my being
To all that are seeing

Here I bare my soul
To show what makes me whole

In the life you led
You bled and let tears be shed

It is the life you led that brought you here
So that I may expose myself without fear

When I say thank you
I think of your view

He we are sharing this moment as it flows
Knowing you are there inspires this prose

Thank you for the life you led
For all the tears you’ve shed

Thank you for the pain you took
Getting left on the hook

Thank you for the good times and the bad
For all the times you let yourself be sad

Thank you for caring
And for your own sharing

Thank you for being here
Conquering your fear

Thank you for baring your soul
Showing all what makes you whole

I hope you see
What the words “Thank you” mean to me

Thank you for being you for all to see
Thank you for accepting me

Every time these words come out
I mean it like this without a doubt

Character

Do you play one?
Are you one?

Does the story unfold around you?
Do you fold in the story with a limited view?

When you play a part
You play in their art

When character comes through
You see the play from another view

You see the stories intertwine
You see how every character must be allowed to shine

You take center stage for a bit
Then you take your turn to sit

Then you start to grow
You begin to enjoy the show

Whether on the stage or silver screen
You begin to see what I mean

If a rehearsed character is all they see
They may not want to watch thee

But if the character you are presents true
They stay to watch you

Be your character
Play a character

The choice is yours
One opens all the doors

Look within to find who you are
Shine from within to be your own star

Shine the spotlight that you are
See how others respond to your star

When you put that spotlight on another
You find a sister or a brother

Then they turn their spotlight on you
As they stop to watch your show too

Never performing but always showing
The inner you that is eternally glowing

Do you play a character?
Are you your character?

Take the stage my friends
For the play that never ends

May you all shine bright
And never feel stage fright

The audience is waiting
Stop hesitating

Let your true character shine through
Let the audience see the real you

Let your star shine
Yours as bright as mine

His as bright as hers and theirs
Who cares who stares?

Stare at each other in awe
For the brilliant star you just saw

Share the character you were born to be
See who shares the stage with thee

Let the show go on and on
The curtain is long gone

Live your story
Bring your glory

The Wanderer

Wandering the night
A shadows mask for this light

In that space in between
Where everything can be seen

If my eyes you cannot meet
It’s not you I’m here to greet

Your war within
Sees your life filled with sin

When the battle comes to an end
Is merely where the test begins

Peace is a place to go and escape to find direction
So that you can find the needed reflection

Those who cross my path
May not walk with me if filled with wrath

If it’s there within you needing a release
I sneak up behind you while I’m at peace

With my gaze
I remove the rage haze

It’s the rage
That built your cage

I help you see
It needs not be in thee

I help you find a way
To release it in your own way

Something for you to find
That is always there for you to remind

Why it is you let it go
Or you never enjoy your flow

Wandering the night
Is my life of delight

Being a helping hand
So you know your never alone no matter where you stand

No matter the space that divides
Within us is where the connection resides

The wanderer disappears into the night
Loving all taken in with his sight

Times comes now to take rest
Before the next living test

To see
If I can continue to live my integrity

Have I become the projection of me
For her reflection to see

Sanctuary

Where is your safe place to reveal what’s inside?
Where to go to let out what you hide?
Is it at home?
Is it alone? 

Have you ever shared?
Has anyone ever cared?

Has anyone ever offered to thee
The resting place of sanctuary?

A place to just be
A place for you and for me

Where secrets dance before us
As we live the song and write the chorus

Our lives we don’t compare
But our souls we share

You had your path and I had mine
It is us the paths helped us find

For wherever we are side by side
Our sanctuary comes for the ride

To let the skeletons dance where ever we go
They always put on quite the show

Knowing there is nothing to hide
Here we are side by side

Never again letting fear make us hide
Letting our being shift the tide

As they see
That we move as we

Never off our game
Never acting more than tame

Let them come and see
How two are a we

Then let them ask we
How this all came to be

Let our lives unfold before them
Always starting at the stem

Some tales there to warn
So they may avoid a certain thorn

As we tell our tale true
You see we were just as you

No better and no worse
We just hope you learn from our verse

We tell the tales that caused us pain
When we share we never restrain

We share the joy we find in each day
Teaching others no particular way

But to show them how to be free
How to create their own sanctuary

This is a vision I can see
Of the day you and I become we

As I patiently wait
I dare not hesitate

To find myself true
To be worthy that day to join with you

I see the best I have been
When you start your tales of remembering when

Different lives we have led
But all the same tears we have shed

It was not until I met thee
I knew of this thing called sanctuary

I hold it now with you
As it has become my favorite view

This view I never knew
I already shared with you

When perception is the reality that can make you free
It’s the view that builds your sanctuary

Build my friends
We build for great ends

In a world where you can find acceptance true
Is a world we build by our view

In this world we can build for humanity
A worldwide view that is sanctuary

To love thyself true
Is to love all of you

Try that view to see
In every thought we build sanctuary

You build it for me and I for you
Because I view me as I view you

I accept thee with this view
We aren’t that different me and you

Let those who try to harm or try to charm you
See that they hold no value

Let them see what is built by the we
Who choose to build sanctuary

It’s time for change

I heard some kids telling me
How they’ve lost all the faith, in the way
They’ve been talking world peace
And the wars in the streets

It was 27 years ago that Motley Crue first released this song. I remember buying the Dr. Feelgood album on cassette with Jimi Hendrix Are You Experienced. The first two cassettes I ever bought.

This was the last song on the album. I was 15 and I was one of those kids who had lost faith in the way. I find it disturbing that nearly 3 decades later the song is as relevant today as it was in 1989.

Look around at all the violence in the world and so much of it taking place on the streets not between soldiers, between kids with guns and the adults who hold the reigns and keep pumping them full of whatever it takes to keep them fighting whoever they want fought.

Old, tired fools tell our future
With tarot cards, and lie of crime

We hear it and see it all the time, yet we keep going along with it out of fear of the unknown and the easiness of cold comfort. For the most part as long as we can watch TV or goof off online, we really don’t care to do anything that might upset that comfort.

Even when we see it right in front of us and have irrefutable evidence shoved in our faces, we would rather turn the blind eye than actually do something that might upset what is.

I feel the the future
In the hands of our youth
No more lies

I like spending time with younger adults in their early 20’s. I feel the honesty in them and the desire to do something, maybe not knowing what, however feeling the dire need that something has to be done.

It starts with honesty.

Honestly I get along better with people half my age than I do with people my own age. Being a teacher, it’s easier to teach a mind that is not already made up. It is easier to reach a mind that is still open to new possibilities.

A revolution, or reach out
And touch the day
We’re overdue, child

Change
Now it’s time for change
Nothing stays the same
Now it’s time for change

I’m a man of peace. When I speak of revolution I speak of a revolution of ideas with no violence.

If we look at history, violence begets violence. It’s undeniable. Yet still we fight thinking at some point it will achieve peace.

What in the holy blue hell is wrong with us?

It’s time for change. A change in philosophical ideology. A change in allowing religion to be an excuse for hate.

I am a man of God and I can see where religion has done more to bring us to the brink of destroying ourselves more than any other influence.

History is littered with the deaths of millions over whose God is the right one and whose book is the right one.

In my opinion every organized religion should be banned.

I am a man of God and not an atheist and I am not suggesting a new religion by any means. I use Rock ‘N’ Roll.

I talk to more and more people who are against religion and for spirituality. Spirituality is an individual relationship between you and God and does not need a hall or a choir and God doesn’t need or want our money.

Change is inevitable. The options for us is to change our ways or destroy ourselves. Seems pretty simple.

The future is in the hands of our young however we need the old people to get out of the way and step down and let the new blood run free.

In my twenties I got a fortune 100 company to do it my way. At twenty I had the Us Air Force telling me they were going to do it my way after seeing the results.

I am not that special. There are a ton of people in their 20’s that could have mass influence in turning this around if we just get out of their way. Give them guidance, however let them do it their way and see what happens.

Change is inevitable. Change is existence. With out change there is no existence.

Perhaps the greatest impact that can be made in this world can be made by the 20 somethings of the world.

Those who can do, those who can’t teach. I teach.

The mutiny to bring unity

Take from one give to another

The payment silenced the masses
Sanctified by oppression
Unity took a backseat
Sliding further into regression

Look around at the world you live in and the things that motivate your life.

Look at those who you see as being free.

They live based off of the oppression that raised them up.

They singled themselves out to take because they felt they deserved it or had earned it or had paid their dues or came from the right family or just really wanted it and they were willing to step on anyone to get it.

This is the effect of the law of attraction.

Basing life on desire and having your desire fulfilled.

Forget about earning it, if you want it bad enough you can create the energy vibration to bring it to you.

Let me tell you a story about someone I used to know.

They spent years wanting the one who got away.

When that other came back, well my friend was nothing that could satisfy the others desires for life.

My friend didn’t get what he wanted, he is getting what he needs to show him his belief in the law of attraction is a false belief based on desire not reality.

The time they spent together the second time around was a round of endless pain and misery. Even though he got what he wanted it was not what he needed and his life spiraled downward until he saw what he needed not wanted.

He lost sight that we are in and of our selves whole. We are 1 not 1/2.

Unity begins and ends in you.

Until you find the unity of one within, everything out here will be a painful lesson that is attempting to teach you that unity begins and ends within.

Until each of us can be whole as we are there is no unity within the world.

Until we see that if it is not good for the sum then we are lying to ourselves to feel OK about being apart of the some.

I feel angry I feel helpless
Want to change the world
I feel violent I feel alone
Don’t try and change my mind

Who doesn’t feel helpless when they look at what we live in and think about how to change it.

It takes more than want.

It takes change.

That change absolutely must come from within.

This is an inescapable truth whether you like it or not. If no change is made within as Karmic Law says:

History repeats itself unless changed. 

Look at the repeating history we are living.

We haven’t changed as one race in centuries.

We have been stuck in a place of endless desire and letting desire be our guide and that trip has led to this place of thinking if we want it bad enough we can have it.

What if we created it together with a focus on the sum not the some and what is best for one human race?

I am dedicated to the idea of one world, one race, no borders, no wars, globally one.

I am not alone.

It’s not about some new world order, it’s not about the next version of subjugation and control, it’s about recognizing the fact we are one race and need to act accordingly before we destroy ourselves.

Why hold down one to raise another
Discrimination now on both sides
Seeds of hate blossom further
The world is heading for mutiny

We may rise and fall, but in the end
We meet our fate together

For everyone we raise and elevate we hold down so many others.

We are equal and there is no justifiable or rational explanation to live another way.

To live any other way is damaging to the human spirit and to the sum.

We discriminate using a lot more than race.

Currently the one thing we use to discriminate more than any other thing is money.

If you don’t have it, it must be because you did it to you. You are responsible for your life and no one else.

That might hold true if we lived in a world that sought to live in the balance of the natural order of things. Instead we seek to go outside that natural order to satisfy our desires.

We are effected by the decisions of others.

Our lives thrown into turmoil because of the desire of someone else.

The results of the law of attraction.

In the law of attraction the only one that matters is you.

Fulfilling your desire, bringing your dreams to reality.

It’s an egocentric creation to forgo the labor of becoming and to let desire guide your life.

It forgets we are all one.

Look around the world at all the hate because a group of people wants this and another group wants this and instead of comprising on what’s best for the one human race we let it become about what’s best for this one group or that group or these groups over here and so on.

The world is heading for mutiny, not a violent one, one where the ideas of what is are thrown away in favor of something that is good for the sum not the some that currently reside in seats of authority dictating to the sum based on what is good for the some.

I have seen thousands that are spreading the same message world wide in various ways.

In my estimation that would mean there may as well be millions.

That means it is an inevitability that we will return to a natural order of things and that our wants will fade away to let us see our needs as one race.

Want still matters, however it must be tempered with need. It must be tempered with wisdom that thinks about what fulfilling our desires will cost the sum.

The goal is to be unified
Take my hand be my brother

Society blind by color

When all we want is unity

The only way is one

My son told me something disturbing yesterday.

He told me that the kid who has been giving him problems at school is not getting addressed because the school is afraid of being seen as racist.

The kid giving my son problems is the only African American kid in his class. Because of this they have been lenient as to avoid being thought of racist.

A child’s behavior is being overlooked because of the color of his skin. He’s being allowed to be abusive towards other students because instead of seeing a child being a dick head, they see an African American.

Blinded by color.

Until we can see beyond the color of our skin and see each other simply as humans, how can we ever be one race?

My family is not the people I was born to. My family is one human race. The people I was born to just got me here. Think about how we feel as though we are obligated to take care of our family.

Now open that view up to include the whole human race.

It takes away the ability to to say no to giving a helping hand simply because you happen to be there.

Unity is in unifying yourself as one human being unified in mind body and spirit. Understanding you are whole as one and we are all connected as one is unity.

Unity is understanding what happens to one effects the sum that is one race.

Too often we let the idea of borders and countries allow us to forget the sum in favor of the few or the some.

It must hold true for all or it is a lie.

There is no personal truth.

Anyone who would tell you different is trying to sell you something.

There is a personal understanding of the truth and any one truth can be expressed infinite ways however the truth is not a personal thing, it simply is.

Why would someone tell you it’s OK to have a personal truth no one understands?

Could it be so they could hold on to their delusions as well?

Could it be so they can feed off the masses?

As long as the masses are buying it, no changes need to me made.

This is the law of attraction, a delusion sold so they can feed off you and never have to become one themselves. They can live off their want to live off of your want.

Their desire is feed off your desire. That is what the law of attraction is simply stated, desire feeding off desire.

One is whole based on satisfying need, not want.

Whisper if you feel me.

Renewal of life and stuff

As an Empath I can feel the rebirth that is spring. I can feel life coming back to that which lay dormant for the winter. I can feel that urge to get it on and produce more life.

I feel as though we originally came up with the Goddess Ishtar (pronounced Easter) to give us a metaphor to explain this overwhelming feeling of fertile of life all around us as the seasons change.

We have the opportunity to renew or lives every day, however we often wait for occasions such as full moons and the like to give us a structure to transmute ourselves through. We are obsessed with the timing of things.

The simplest way to encourage our own renewing of our life is to simply embrace the following Karmic Law.

Accept what is, let go of what was and make changes for what will be. 

If we are holding on to the past we are not allowing ourselves to move forward and we keep ourselves stuck. We often want everything to change except us. My biggest continuous struggle with my own path is to make changes in me.

When we accept ourselves for who we are we can become complacent. We can become bored and we seek out something to spark life into us again.

Often we seek out the same old vices instead of trying something new and letting our life become something different the moment we make that choice. That choice sets our subconscious into motion for us to do things behind our back in front of our face to create the desire to change our projection to match the reflection of our desire.

Simply wanting it will bring it to you in a way, a form or a fashion, however until we become what is needed to have our desire it will never live up to it and always leave us wanting more.

This is why I do not support the law of attraction, it seeks to be a work around to actually doing the work to become your hearts true desire to turn the reflections around to match your projection.

Think of it as a character in a film. When the character says or does something out of context for that character, we call it bad film making. Life is about becoming the ever evolving, ever changing character that allows for the pursuit of your hearts true desires.

The Cinematic view simply stated says that our character, our projection of self will allow what story unfolds in our life. Who we show ourselves to be is what allows The Big U to manifest the opportunities to take our character on an adventure.

In my research on myself and what a Taltos is, I came across something that explained me to myself however I did not want to readily embrace.

I was a workaholic most of my life. I liked working 70 hours a week and that it gave me the excuse to be recluse. I like my solitude, always have.

A Taltos never asks for anything in exchange for whatever it is we do for you. We take what is offered and if nothing is offered, oh well. Embracing my being in a world that revolves around getting paid, well let’s say it’s not as easy to accept.

We live in a society of compensation for everything. I did something now give me my reward. Sometimes that compensation is in telling people about that thing we did just because we could. We seek to have our ego stroked and have recognition for being us.

In this time of re-birthing maybe we should slow down and think about what our hearts true desire is and what changes to make in ourselves to become to projection that will turn that reflection around.

Fuel the burn

Been rollin’ on 

And carryin’ on

Taking the shots as they come

Cause I’ll never really be done

Gonna keep livin’

Never stop dreamin’

Taking it way beyond the edge

It’s the only way I know how to live

Now I’m the train rollin’ down the track

Never again looking back

Gotta fire in my soul

Don’t matter if I’m whole

It’s Rock ‘n’ Roll flowing through my veins

That kills the pain

Got no time for romance

Got too fucked up by that dance

Born to wander the earth 

Lived like this since birth

Never content to stay for long

The call from within is way too strong

Gotta keep movin’ down the track

I might come back

It’s the life I love

Guided from above

Every twist and turn

Fuels the burn

The lessons of the past

A memory that once hurt to think about can become a lesson.

It’s often not easy to see the lesson to be learned through the pain that was endured that is attached to that memory. One must detach emotionally from the memory and look at it from multiple angles and examine the depth of the situation.

We got hurt and we hold onto that emotion to stay shallow in our understanding of that moment. In order to dive into the depth we must let go of emotion and attempt to understand what we see as a result.

Grosse Point Blank put it best.

I say forget about forgiving and just accept.

At times the lesson is to see what we survived, not as a victim, as a survivor who was in a situation and found a way out.

That takes strength and acts of courage for some who survive horrific things and find a way to keep on keepin’ on.

I always say “Forget about the hate and heal the pain.”

Often our anger stems from pain. We use the mask of anger to feel strong. Feeling hurt, feels weak at times. We use anger to feel strong and seek retribution.

Somehow we think this will make the hurt go away or at least now they hurt too.

This kind of thinking will destroy humanity.

Big picture view shows if we are all acting like this, it explains the wars and the clear path we seem to be on to destroy ourselves in the name of whatever is the reason to kill this week.

Forget about the hate and heal the pain.

Whisper if you feel me.

The Idea of Leadership

Leadership in my opinion and simply stated is the choice to serve a need you happen to notice because you noticed and could do something to fill that need.

The only ego driven part of being a leader is in identifying that you do in fact posses the ability to serve this need you noticed.

There is a story I like to use that to me illustrates what it means to see oneself as a King or Queen in your own life.

The term landlord comes from the term Lord of the Land and the Lord cared for the people who cared for the land and saw to their needs. The Lord of the Lords or the King cared for the Lords as he cared for the people. Most people don’t realize that the true king never sits on a throne nor does he wear a crown.

He is wandering his kingdom and finding those who have a need he can fulfill. As he helps these people, he gets to know them and he gets to see how it is they came to have this need. The king is a wise man and as he gets the full story he can see if these people live by the king’s law.

If the king found these to be good people, then something wonderful would happen after he left. If these people were in foul of the king’s law, something horrible would happen after he left.

Either way no one ever really knew who the king was and that was his power.

If you knew you were in the presence of the king, you would put your best foot forward and make sure you were doing everything right, but that is not a fair look for the king.

There are two points to this story.

The first is to always be doing what you know you should, because you never know who is walking by and second, the king’s subjects do not serve the king, the king serves his subjects.

You over hear conversations all the time, what makes you think no one over hears your conversations. “Oh, but that was just between us and no one had the right to be listening.”

Does saying or thinking that ever change the result?

Why do we get mad at the cop for catching us?

Why do we get mad when getting caught by anyone?

Why do we think it was OK for us and yet will condemn others for similar behavior?

Why do we think authority and leadership have anything to do with each other?

To have authority in my opinion is to have the function of enforcing a set of rules or laws.

It has nothing to do with being a leader. It can have aspects of leadership in the performance of the function, however authority is not the equivalent of leadership.

What are the behavioral traits of leadership?

What does leadership look like in living action?

There are traits that define a leader and they are traits that are visible in the actions and attitudes of any true leader.

It begins with the acknowledgment that a leader’s first duty is to identify the needs of the people and serve those needs until the goal is accomplished.

There are times that a leader will need to make sacrifices in order to meet the needs of the people who are taking care of the greater needs.

It is by the example that is set by the leader that the people follow.

Every true leader understands that not even the King or the Queen is above the law, they exemplify it.

No one ever has to question what a leader is doing, they see it in their actions and their attitudes and they operate with transparency.

A leader has nothing to hide and everything to share in order to provide for the greater needs. The key word for me when thinking about leadership is “need.”

What need does what I’m doing serve?

To understand leadership one must understand the difference between need and desire or want. One must be willing to give up want or desire in favor of need.

One must allow for want and desire to be fulfilled, but never at the expense of the needs of others.

Think of it as when you were a kid and tried to tell your parents you needed that thing and you know it was a want, not a need.

In exploring leadership from a spiritual view I looked at different teachings and how they applied in the view of living the concept.

When I hit the Wicca concept of do no harm, I laughed my ass off. Here’s why.

Take a minute to think about the harm done over the course of existence so you could wake up today.

Even in filling needs, harm gets done. A leader evaluates the harm to be done by filling the need versus the harm done in allowing the need to go unfulfilled.

How much environmental harm do we do to drive?

The scarring of the earth to get the materials to build it.

The pollution in manufacturing the oil to have fuel to power it.

The pollution from driving it.

The scarring of the earth to provide roads for driving.

That is one common item in society currently.

Look around and think about where these things come from and find the harm we do to fulfill our wants as well and our needs and we often blur the line between the two to feel OK about it.

A leader never blurs the line and calls it as it is.

The leaders interest is in what is best for the sum, not the some.

Being a leader is not a function, it is a mode of life.

Leadership is not associated with title it is the quality of the walk of your talk. The people we call leaders are closer to being authorities.

We authorize them to decide what’s best for us and trust them to act with leadership in the best interest of the sum.

That is the simplest explanation of every form of government or political structure I could give.

We give the authority to others to govern over us.

We show how we lead ourselves by the type of governance we allow and the authorities to enforce that governance we allow to be and stay in place.

We follow authorities in the form of our governments and the men and women we give title and authority to that make up those governments.

There is nothing that shows being a government authority makes you a leader.

Being a leader is a mode of living and anyone can be and many are leaders without title or authority.

 

The end is the beginning in disguise

The end is the beginning in disguise

Have you known me to tell lies

Before it can end one must let go

Before it can begin one must be in the flow

Letting it come from within

In doing this you still might sin

Pick the sins you love best

The ones where you don’t mind dealing with the consequence

It’s your life and your choice

Be careful how you use your voice

Take some time to ask why

Before deciding it’s time to do or die

Let it stew and find a distraction

Instead of going with the first reaction

Why are you in such a hurry to decide

Why not enjoy the ride

Look at all the options the choice provides

If need be consult some guides

When you start the story a new

It helps to have someone guide you

To take the lead and show you around

While you spend some time in the background

Soak it in

It’s always a good place to begin

Let it come from within when you take part

In the surrounding living display of art

Let your performance be true

Let them see the real you

Play the players and not the game

To voiding this beginning going the same

Liquid be your ego as the moment goes

As it flows the character that is you grows

Ever evolving and never set

Always something they’ll never forget

Take you time and enjoy the ride

Swallow your pride

Be meek

Find and do not seek

Be humble

When you stumble

Take your time as you rise

To learn the lesson and become wise

At the end it begins again

Not the same as it was then

Let go 

Be in the flow

 

The Battle is Won

When there’s nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son
One more son
If you can hold on
If you can hold on, hold on
I wanna stand up, I wanna let go
You know, you know – no you don’t, you don’t
I wanna shine on in the hearts of men
I wanna mean it from the back of my broken hand

I will never know how many people I have actually helped.

I do know that each of them was at a point where holding on felt like an option that was being taken away.

The energy work I do allows me to take the total emotional you in one shot and give you strength and peace and clarity in return. It’s something most Empaths do simply as a matter of their being.

Another head aches, another heart breaks
I am so much older than I can take
And my affection, well it comes and goes
I need direction to perfection, no no no no

Most Empaths have a life that has them seeing people coming to them when they are heart broken for a myriad of reasons.

You start to feel old when you have taken on so much and given so much.

It also tends to give Empaths an edge.

People will want to spend time with an Empath and not realize why they are doing it.

They want that good feeling they get every time they are around or talk to the Empath in their life. At times as an Empath you develop personality quirks that discourages people from wanting to be around you.

Every interaction for an Empath has the potential to be a drain on them.

We do it to protect ourselves. If we don’t we spend all our time working out your emotional issues.

Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don’t you put me on the back burner
You know you got to help me out
You’re gonna bring yourself down

No one ever says “Yo my life is fucked, however take your sweet ass time to getting around to me.”

We can become even more frustrated when no one seems to see the urgency we feel.

We can feel ignored or even as though we may not even exist.

When we don’t get what we are looking for, what we feel we need, sometimes we can get spiteful.

These changes ain’t changing me
The gold-hearted boy I used to be

My mother tells a story that even when I was 3 and 4 I could just sense she was feeling sad and I would come give her a hug. Being an Empath means I feel what you need emotionally much clearer than you could ever tell anyone. At times a hug isn’t it. At times it’s a hammer shot of clarity.

People will wallow in self pity and misery and the best thing you can do for them is to give them that hammer shot up side the head. It’s not an easy thing to do as we often get a lash out reaction.

Tough shit, if you care enough to be there, you care enough to be honest instead of feeding the suffering.

Love is not always a cuddly thing and sometimes tough love comes in the form of hard truth.

We often don’t want to hear the truth we want to stay in the hell we created for ourselves.

We don’t want to do the work ourselves, we want someone to show up and save our ass.

I got soul, but I’m not a soldier

The difference between a warrior and a soldier is a soldier is ordered into battle a warrior chooses their battles.

Life is a war.

The battles are fought daily and the war never ends.

Life is a war of ideas.

Look around and see the truth for yourself.

Do you fight the battles you are told to fight or the ones you choose?

Your only weapon is your mind.

How sharp is your sword?

Who wields the sword you are?

Over and in, last call for sin
While everyone’s lost, the battle is won
With all these things that I’ve done
All these things that I’ve done

To win your own inner battles at times everyone else has to lose so you can take care of you.

Your life is a culmination of all these things you have done. However this does not absolve the rest of the world for turning their back on you.

No one accomplishes great things on their own. No one.

Anyone in history or in current day that has notoriety for their accomplishments has not done one damn thing on their own. They had assistance, a lot of it.

For you to get where you are you had assistance and a lot of it.

How often do you think about the assistance your life has been given from a big picture view?

How often do you step outside yourself to look at your life?

How often do think about yourself as it was someone else and then think about what you would think about that person?

How can you be honest with yourself if you don’t?

Whisper if you feel me.

Dancin’ with the Devil on your back

They say when you dance with the Devil, you don’t change the Devil, the Devil changes you. I have often said the Devil has a fucked up job.

His job is to show you everything love isn’t, so you can discover on your own what love is.

Sometimes you need to take your life and SHAKE IT OUT as Florence and The Machine suggest in order to get that Devil off your back.

Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play

And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues drawn
It’s always darkest before the dawn

The memories only hurt because you care. The memories stop hurting once you learn to see it as the lesson in life it was. Learn to let go of the regret. Until you do that those memories are the waking nightmare you have chosen them to be.

Keeping it all in and keeping it to yourself only makes it worse. Until you deal with it, you will push yourself into situations that will keep bringing it up. It can feel as though a nasty demon has it’s teeth sunk in deep to get that pound of flesh. It’s that pain that never ends until you realize you’re the one making it hurt.

And I’ve been a fool and I’ve been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I’m always dragging that horse around

All of his questions, such a mournful sound
Tonight I’m gonna bury that horse in the ground

Often we feel stupid for missing what was right in front of us all along.

Blinded by our life and what we want to do with it that we miss something.

Blinded by the pain of the past we won’t let go of.

Blinded by the desire to never let it happen again.

Holding on to the misery of days gone by is not much different than dragging a beaten half dead horse behind you every where you go. It’s cruel to think of someone actually doing that to a horse.

Why do we do it to ourselves?

Bury the fuckin’ horse already and let go of the pain of the past that holds you back from seeing what is right in front of you.

 And I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I’m gonna cut it out and then restart

A heart in pain knows no grace.

To let the grace of love flow true, let go of the pain of the past and embrace the now. Understand why it happened to better be prepared for what’s either right in front of you or around the next corner.

And it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back
And given half the chance would I take any of it back
It’s a fine romance but it’s left me so undone

And I’m damned if I do and I’m damned if I don’t
So here’s to drinks in the dark at the end of my road
And I’m ready to suffer and I’m ready to hope
It’s a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat
‘Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me

And it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off

Think of the pain of the past as the Devil on your back that is keeping you from knowing what love is now.

Love is.

It’s messy as all hell and is at times is a whirlwind of joy and suffering wrapped in one. If you have never suffered, you have never loved. When you act out of love your ego dies and you sacrifice yourself for another so to speak. You become what they need you to be versus what they would want any to be.

It’s harder to be what they need than it is to give them what they want.

When you start to look for heaven, you begin to desire and see heaven as everything that has nothing to do with what love is.

As much as God and Goddess reside within each of us, The Devil is taking up residence as well. We give forms in our life through our experiences to these metaphors.

Those we exalt, those we despise.

We pretend it’s something different, however the behavior is the same.

Our inner divine allows us to forgive and learn and grow while our inner Devil holds onto the pain. The pain becomes a way to justify and/or rationalize why we do what we know we ought not do.

Shake The Devil off your back by letting go of the pain of the past and grow from the lessons learned and love now.

Whisper if you feel me.

Sad but True

The song SAD BUT TRUE gets sung from the back seat when it comes on my shuffle. Here’s why.

Hey (hey)
I’m your life
I’m the one who takes you there
Hey (hey)
I’m your life
I’m the one who cares
They (they)
They betray
I’m your only true friend now
They (they)
They’ll betray
I’m forever there

If the subconscious mind is the operating system, this song may as well be sung from within.

How often do you feel like you know the right thing to do, however you listen other people anyway?

We are sold a harmful lie.

You can’t possibly know what’s best for you.

We tell ourselves and each other that we need to listen to what the other is saying, however we never shut up long enough to let it sink in.

Typically we listen only long enough to start saying what we wanted to in the first place.

Your subconscious mind will push your buttons from within to get you to see you know what’s best for you and to get you to start following you’re own advice.

Following your own inner voice.

I’m your dream, make you real
I’m your eyes when you must steal
I’m your pain when you can’t feel
Sad but true

I’m your dream, mind astray
I’m your eyes while you’re away
I’m your pain while you repay
You know it’s sad but true
Sad but true

I don’t know why I just did that.

How many times have you said it?

The subconscious mind will shut down the emotions in times of need. It doesn’t mean it’s not there, just set aside and ignored to get you through whatever it is until you can deal with it.

You (you)
You’re my mask
You’re my cover, my shelter
You (you)
You’re my mask
You’re the one who’s blamed
Do (do)
Do my work
Do my dirty work, scapegoat
Do (do)
Do my deeds
For you’re the one who’s shamed

The idea of who you are is nothing more than a mask used to get you through this thing we call life. It’s there so experience can be had and we can grow.

We all do things behind our backs in front of our faces.

The subconscious mind understands that all that exists is decisions and consequences. We program ourselves to feel guilty or not to feel guilty about any given thing we do.

The idea of who we are evolves as the desire for new experiences evolves. We become that which will allow us to have the experience.

It’s the idea of who we are that we project that has to deal with it. The mask is what speaks and the mask speaks to the mask.

Hate (hate)
I’m your hate
I’m your hate when you want love
Pay (pay)
Pay the price
Pay, for nothing’s fair

Hey (hey)
I’m your life
I’m the one who took you there
Hey (hey)
I’m your life
And I no longer care

We find ourselves in the state of wanting love and hating instead because we hate ourselves for what we have become. Only when we become that which we would love ourselves in the opposite sex do we find who we truly are.

For me that’s a woman who is a workaholic and very intelligent. She takes no shit and could be considered to be borderline narcissist with the faith she has in herself based on the life she has lived. She has taste and class but knows when to use the fuck for fucks sake. A woman who has a hard time finding anyone who can keep up with her mind.

Yes I am describing myself as a woman and yes I realize that has some narcissistic overtones. However that also means a woman who helps out simply because she is there and she can.  A woman who let’s her passion get away with her at times. A woman people don’t really know because she chooses what she shows very carefully.

With as much of my life and myself as I expose in my writing I hold back quite a bit as well.

You know you have gotten the breadth of experience you wanted out of life when you no longer care what you do.

That’s when trying to find and give meaning to your life becomes your only reason to live. Was it all worth it to get to where I am now?

Now what?

When people retire they hit that place where life becomes and endless search to alleviate the boredom.

I’m your truth, telling lies
I’m your reason, alibis
I’m inside, open your eyes
I’m you

Sad but true

No one can screw with or level with you better than you can.

No one can get you on and off the hook like you can.

Simply be you and be true and you never find yourself on a hook or needing a story to tell.

It is possible to change the program up and make changes in the operating system and that takes work and there is no quick hit fix I could give you in this piece. That’s something I teach one on one. The lessons are different for each based on who you are right now.

You know you got it right when your reflection pops up and slaps you in the face one day and you say thank you.

Whisper if you feel me.

You be the Captain

And the men who hold high places
Must be the ones who start
To mold a new reality

If those we give authority over us to rule do not begin the change at the top it takes a lot longer and looks more like a revolution.

That raises the chances of something violent happening.

I’m opposed to violence.

If you look back at the French Revolution it was those at the top who refused to mold a new reality for the betterment of the sum that were executed.

Again I’m opposed to violence and will never support any violent action taken by anyone, though it can’t be ignored that I am a rarity and many people don’t have a problem with violence.

In fact our leaders in the USA encourage it through the wars they send our troops into and ask the American people to support the choice of violence.

The men and women who hold high places must be the ones to start to mold a new reality to put an end to the violence and find solutions that don’t involve dropping bombs and sending young adults to die.

The blacksmith and the artist
Reflect it in their art
They forge their creativity

Film makers, TV content providers, musicians, gun makers and others forge the mentality that comes from the top.

I see the newest gun looks like a cell phone.

It has a handle that folds down and fires two shots.

I wonder how many people will get shot for pulling out a cell phone that isn’t a gun.

If I was a cop I would be scared.

Our obsession with finding new and different ways of killing each other is a direct reflection of the wars that go on for whatever reason.

We have the technology for building non lethal combat weapons. Yet we have people using 3D printers to create firearms.

The blacksmith is merely reflecting what the people who hold high places have in their hearts.

We have a ton of movies and video games dedicated to killing. Celebrating it even. Desensitizing us all to violence.

Even in music there are those who sing to burn it all down or rise up against.

Philosophers and plowmen
Each must know his part
To sow a new mentality

Political pundits do a great job of giving the public reasons to support wars and violence. The press in general.

Philosophers offering their interpretation of world events and why it should be happening or why we should look at going another direction.

They sow the ideas in the minds of many. They also have the power to sow better ideas aimed at finding solutions to help us all get along and see we are all in this together as one world whether we like or not.

We don’t need a captain and we all draw the chart with our every word and thought and action.

I write a lot on the topic of love.

If we are not going to mold a new reality closer to the heart now, when are we?

If we are not going to forge with creativity that new mentality closer to the heart now, when are we?

If we are not going to sow a new mentality closer to the heart now, when are we?

If not now, when?

My dad used to say that all the time.

It takes all of us to save us all.

In this there is no boast

I found the mask

It was my task

Not a mask to be worn by me

A mask that was worn by thee

I had to pull back and let you put on the show

As if I didn’t know

Seeing right through you is no joy

I ain’t crazy and this is no ploy

It’s not easy being me

Seeing right through all of thee

It allows me to know what you need

I see what makes you bleed

It allows me to find the words to say

To send on your self healing way

Instead of shining you on to keep you on the line

I hit you with it right between the eyes

With some it takes a few times

Starts to feel as though I’m repeating lines

I’d rather give a verbal hammer shot to the head

Than to see some of you wind up dead

Though I love you all pure and true

I truly like so few of you

The difference is this

Is it work or bliss

If it takes a ton of work

I tend to come off as a jerk

If it’s bliss

You’re the ones I often miss

I like my solitude

I’m really not rude

I forget how much time has gone by

Since I said Yo or you said Hi

With those I am closest too

Know I am still checking in on you

I have my way

Of knowing if you’re OK

Probably why I forget to write

After using my inner sight

I forget how different it is for most

In this there is no boast

Only thanks for the ease 

In which I can alleviate my worries

No need to wait for a call or a text

Reach out for the feeling that tells me what to do next

Often it leads to a conversation

That confirmed my feelings revelation

I forget I’m different than most

In this there is no boast

It’s a gift in the DNA

As Lady Gaga put it Baby I was born this way

 

It’s in the way that you use it

Eric Clapton is a legend in his own time. The first time I heard IT’S IN THE WAY THAT YOU USE IT, I was watching the movie THE COLOR OF MONEY. It was one of Tom Cruise’s earlier films and costarred Paul Newman.

The song fit the films themes well. The song fits life well. Here’s why.

Nobody’s right till somebody’s wrong.
Nobody’s weak till somebody’s strong.
No one gets lucky till luck comes along.
Nobody’s lonely till somebody’s gone.

I don’t watch TV. Instead I get involved with or lead discussions in a group online of over 500,000 people worldwide. I enjoy the exploration of ideas and seeing how many different views come out that are basically saying the same thing in different ways based on how each individual has come to understand it.

I’m odd.

I like that about me. Hungarians are known for their individualistic approach to life and work at being different from the crowd. We cherish the gift of individuality. To be as we choose because we choose.

I’ve found the need to be right often stems from low self esteem. We feel weak and want to feel strong. We feel strong when we are right and they are wrong.

At times we don’t feel our weakness. We hide from it. No one likes to feel weak. It sucks. We will unconsciously look for ways to make ourselves feel strong by being right.

We will fight and argue to the bitter end to try and get rid of this weak feeling by scoring a victory in a verbal sparing with anyone.

We feel weak and want to feel strong.

The difference between being alone and being lonely is choice. I often prefer to be alone. It’s my choice. When someone chooses to leave and chooses to not be around, well, depending on who it is and why, it can leave me feeling lonely.

We all go through it.

It’s in the way that you use it,
It comes and it goes.

And if you lie you will lose it,
Feelings will show.
So don’t you ever abuse it,
Don’t let it go.

Our idea of who we are, our expression of self, our ego can come and go depending on how we use it.

Allowing your projection of self to be anything less then an authentic expression shows the feeling we try to hide under the mask that is our current expression of self.

When you lie you lose who are to be who you fabled yourself to be. We lie when we feel weak and we feel if we don’t, our weakness will show.

There is a fine line between a healthy and unhealthy ego expression. It’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance. On one side of the line is confidence backed by experience of things one has actually done or is actually doing currently. Arrogance is what one thinks one might be able to do with no experience to back it up.

Arrogance is abusing the ego expression and using it to bolster ourselves and feel superior in some way for some reason.

Confidence is simply letting you know what one is capable of based on experience and is only expressing it to be of service.

If you look at your life you will see when your ego comes and goes. When you act from a place of empathy and forgo thinking of yourself first in, your ego goes into hiding until needed.

We hold onto our ego, to the idea of who we are in order to have individuality, however it’s not a license to be an asshole.

Whisper if you feel me.

Release

I release thee

Just so I can have some peace

Stay away from me

I’m trying to be free

So I release thee

And the pain you brought to me

Stay the hell out of my sight

I don’t need your bullshit fight

Don’t need to know you’re alright

I release thee tonight

I release thee 

To set me free

I release thee

To set me free

You were my last disaster

Now I’m my only master

I never want to hear your name

Never want to see your face

Don’t want you no more

Better never see you at my door

I release thee 

I am free

I release thee

Go be free

I’m throwin’ down my own tracks

I’m never lookin’ back

I’m gettin’ out of here

I busted through my chains

I broke out of my cage

I released me

When I released thee

I am free

Go be free

Intimacy explored through Halestorm

WTF is he kidding?

No I’m not.

I have been a fan of the music of Lizzy Hale and Halestorm since I first heard FREAK LIKE ME a few years ago.  However it is the song LET ME IN YOUR ROOM that touched my soul and showed me a map to follow to intimacy. Here’s why.

There are few songs that are perfect in their ability to be felt and heard with such clarity.  Lizzy and Co. did one hell of a job putting this one together. Let’s take a look at the lyrics and see if we can define why it is that I find this song to be a perfect inspiration to me when it comes to the idea of being truly intimate with a woman.

Let me in your room
I’ve seen the rest of you
But I know there’s something more in your room
I’m right outside your door
Show me things you’ve never shown before

What a request to receive from someone.

Take a moment and think about the things you have never told anyone.

The things you think make you unlovable.

The things you think make you a freak.

If someone loves you enough to ask you to share those things, that is what intimacy is all about.

You can fuck 3 times a day for years and never share an intimate moment with someone. Sex has nothing to with intimacy and anyone telling you different is trying to fuck you, really fuck you.

A few pictures from your past
And those walls you painted black
And the secrets that you keep under your bed
All you have to do is let me in your room

You can be yourself
You don’t have to hide from me, I won’t tell
I know everyone you’ve ever trusted has let you down
And you don’t want to come out
And show me, show me

What we hide within keeps us from truly connecting and experiencing the intimacy of love.

When you have someone you truly love in your life there is nothing from their past that could ever change that love. It can only make it stronger to share and be completely open and honest with each other.

You know every part of me
I let you in, I let you see
All the dark and every color of my room
Let me do that for you
And tell me all about your past
Why you painted those walls black
Baby it’s all right, you’re safe in here with me
Open up so I can see

When was the last time someone made you feel safe and secure?

Who is it that when you are with them, you feel nothing could ever be so horrible that it would make them walk away?

Who saw your demon and loved you anyway?

Intimacy is about sharing those darkest of dark places that are within you and knowing that it’s OK.

The two of you probably have the same demons to let play together when the dark desire of lust takes its form for the fuck of a lifetime versus the slow building passion of love making.

Who is it that is your Madonna (no that one) and your whore wrapped in one?

Who is it that is your knight in shining armor and the man who will fuck you as the devil himself wrapped in one?

You’ll never know until you let them in your room to see all of you, even the dark side and the dark desires you never share.

Intimacy can lead to the best lovemaking you’ll never find any other way and it also opens the doors to every fantasy you never thought you should have.

Before you can get there I would suggest listening to Mz. Hale and taking her advice, let them in your room or its just a fuck and will never live up to the hype.

You’ll be looking for the next one and be just as let down by the sex you thought would be just what you needed to connect.

To truly connect, to truly be intimate is to reveal all your secrets and hold nothing back. Anything less and me personally, I’d rather go to a real whore and pay cash up front than forgo the intimacy that leads to orgasms I still fantasize about on occasion.

Normal is just a uniform

There was a time in my life a few years ago that I considered suicide as an option. Here’s why.

I had awaken to my being an Empath and Medium. I lost every friend I ever had and lost my marriage all because I refused to hide being what I am. There were 3 songs that kept me from doing myself in.

WE ARE THE OTHERS by Delain is one of those songs.

Just so you all know, as a symbolic gesture to commit to never thinking about suicide again, I took the dagger I was going to use and wrapped it up and tossed it in a dumpster.

As simple as air in your lungs,
As simple as words on your lips,
And no one should take that away,
No one should argue this
Now with our heads up high,
We’ll carry on,
And carry out,
That we won’t let them get us down
Or wear us out
‘Cause we are not alone…

Originally this song was not written to be an anthem for those who feel different because they are Empaths and a lot of people still don’t get what that is and treat Empaths as if they were crazy.

A big part of my life the last few years has been working with people who are awakening to being an Empath.

I’ve seen groups as big as 20,000 and was an admin in a group of over 1,000.

A lot of people who are full blown Empaths who don’t realize it are often misdiagnosed with conditions such as bi-polar disorder, schizophrenia and others. They are medicated and told they are ill and that something is wrong with them.

If they assert anything else they run the risk of being hospitalized.

I have 2 causes that I dedicate my life’s work to.

Raising the awareness of what I call the Genetic Jump. As I see it we are in the midst of our species taking an evolutionary jump forward. Empaths are just a natural result of our evolution, no more no less.

My other cause is putting an end to Domestic Abuse/Violence.

The abuse does not have to be physical to leave its scars. Many of the Empaths I’ve worked with have also been survivors of domestic abuse.

Every time I share this song with another Empath or group of Empaths, they feel as if they found an anthem to cling on to and inspire them to keep on keepin’ on.

We are the others,
We are the cast-outs,
We’re the outsiders
But you can’t hide us
We are the others
We are the cast-outs
You’re not out there on your own
If you feel mistreated
Torn and cheated
You are not alone
We are the others

I’m not sure if I could ever truly find the words to adequately describe what it’s like to feel so different from so many yet at the same time still be just as human as any other.

Feeling like an outsider and a cast out is something I dealt with on a social level off and on throughout my life. Typical school shit and what not.

It wasn’t until I publicly said “I am an Empath” that I truly began to truly feel what it’s like to feel cast out.

I also found that I was not alone. I have been in several groups over the last few years where Empaths support each other and teach other how to manage our being better and make the gift less of a curse in our lives.

None of you are alone.

Normal is not the norm,
It’s just a uniform…
(We are the others)
Forget about the norm
(We’re the outsiders)
Take off your uniform,
(We are the others)
We are all beautiful,
(We are the others)

Normal is an idea, a dream that never was.

None of us is normal.

We’ve created this idea of what normal is and wear the uniform hoping no one will find out how not normal we are.

You don’t have to be an Empath to feel not normal.

Many people feel not normal.

Fuck normal.

The truest beauty of anyone of us is what comes from within us.

Fuck the nifty flesh suit.

It’s what’s in your soul that brings the beauty from within to the surface.

Whisper if you feel me.

Find your “Hell Yeah!”

I had what some might consider a torturous childhood when they hear that my mother basically raised me on Neil Diamond. To me, it gave me one of the true lyrical masters of our time to soak in. Here’s why.

If you’re thinking that my life
Is a hoot and a holler
From the start of the day
To the dark of the night
And that its ringin’ like a bell
That you only want to follow
Gotta trust me when I say
I’m just trying to get it right

If you can’t relate to those lyrics, you’re full of shit.

There isn’t a single one of us who isn’t just trying to get it right and right for our life whatever that is. I use Psychospirilosophy to figure that out for myself.

The one thing I tell myself is that if it doesn’t hold true for all than I’m about to start rationalizing like a mother fucker to feel OK about what I’m about to do or have done. I like to step outside myself and think about it as if some one else was telling this story of how they got to be where they are with the current issue they are attempting to either deal with or side step.

People have told me I’m pretty good at giving advice and well it does kind of just go with being a Taltos.

I never discovered wisdom until I starting following my own advice.

The psychospirilosophic view is one that takes the psychological effects on the human and it’s evolving condition into consideration first.

Why am I am feeling this way about what I am thinking about doing or have done?

There are times it’s not easy to know what the right thing to do is and sometimes that can change based on the situation you find yourself in. It’s never the same as what it was that one time or those times.

It’s always different.

I find at times it’s necessary for me to step back and take as long as I need to check myself before I totally fucking nuke myself into oblivion.

Still I think about myself
As a lucky old dreamer
If you’re askin’ me to tell
Is it worth what I paid
You gonna hear me say

Hell yeah it is
And I say it loud
I loved it all
And I’m not too proud
I freed my soul…just let it fly
Hell yeah this crazy life around me
It confuses and confounds me
But it’s all the life I’ve got until I die
Hell yeah it is

When the video clips that are the highlight reel of my life start playing, I’m never that disappointed and often quite entertained by the life I’ve led thus far.

Just last night I was telling a buddy about the time I was in a helicopter and the pilots decided to do their emergency restart training while my ass was strapped into a seat next to no door, just a wide open space.

This training maneuver required the pilot to shut the helicopter off and allow it to free fall like a brick out of the sky with my ass strapped in.

The pilot of course restarted it and got it flying right. Then they did it 3 more times.

If for some reason anyone ever asks me to get into a helicopter again, I’m fairly certain you all understand why I might respond with the words “FUCK THAT NOISE!”

While my life was not always as death defying as that moment, it has never really been boring.

Is it worth it?

Is everything that has happened up until right now been worth it for what right now is and where it is going?

Hell Yeah!

I often say and even threw it on a picture of Poppa Smoke “Pick your Death and Live accordingly.”

Lesson in my personal metaphors.

When I say the word “Live” I attach the meaning “to love life.”

Pick your Death and Love Life accordingly.

Up until a few years ago I lived at maximum speed never slowing down and always looking for the next kick ass memory to be made.

It gave me a lot of experience that aged me quite a bit.

I had lived letting my soul be free and it never mattered what crazy situation I found myself in, I just rolled with it and attempted to do what I felt was the right thing in the moment.

This is the second time in my life I bought a domain name for what I was doing at the time. The first time it led to me becoming a film producer with 2 independent film credits.

With this my goal, the whole reason I’m doing this is this simple. At some point I stopped doing foolish things and had to come to terms with accepting I had become somewhat wise as I was following my own advice and it was working just as well as it did when other people did it too.

Some of us never reach that stage and are the eternal children.

Some of us reach that stage at a young age that robs us of our childhood.

My life is weird as weird gets and realize the metric fuck ton I don’t tell you all compared to the stuff I do that even I admit pegs the weird shitometer.

However I wouldn’t trade my life for anything. I am exactly where I need to be to bring any dream I have to life.

Current dream.

Be the Taltos I am and keep doing this until the day I die.

I hear you wondering out loud
Are you ever gonna make it?
Will you ever work it out?
Will you ever take a chance
And just believe you can?

Hell yeah you will
You’re gonna be okay
And you might get lost
But then you’ll find a way
Don’t go alone
Can’t be afraid
Hell yeah
This life is here and it’s made for livin’
And love’s a gift that’s made for givin’
You give it all away and have it still
And Hell yeah you will

I think about the work I do with Life Designs and it’s purpose to teach people how to design their life to create the path to their dreams. There are times when we need someone who believes in us to be in our corner and motivate us to keep on keepin’ on and find the changes to make in the character to change the story.

I also think about the students I’ve had over the last few years. It’s bittersweet when they no longer need my guidance. It means we rarely if ever speak again.

Each and everyone of them are amazing human beings.

Each and everyone of them is missed.

Part my dedication to my life is to live love.

I give love freely.

Pure love not romantic love and no I don’t go around sleeping with women. Pure love, the kind of love that sees the soul and might notice the nifty flesh suit wrapped around it.

I give it away all day and I have an over abundance of pure love in my life.

The wealthiest man I know is me.

 I’ve been living in a bowl
With a lot of people staring
With my feet on shaky ground
And my head up in the sky
But it’s where I want to be
It’s a life that’s made for caring
Got a song to pass the day
And a girl to share the night

So if they ask you when I’m gone
Was it everything he wanted?
When he had to travel on
Did he know he’d be missed?
You can tell them this

Hell yeah he did!
He saw it all
He walked the line
Never had to crawl
He cried a bit
But not for long
Hell yeah
He found the life that he was after
Filled it up with love and laughter
Finally got it right
And made it fit
Hell yeah he did!

I would rather have a woman to share the night with.

However, after 3 divorces, I’m in no hurry to make it 4 even though I am a monogamy addict. I think the 3 marriages prove that.

The death I picked out.

To have spent years with one woman, my 4th and final wife. To live love to the extent that we are able to transcend the body and simply ascend in one last physical expression of our unity in the flesh when we have had enough and are ready to go back to where ever it is we came from.

Call me crazy, I’ve heard it before.

I’m an Empath, I always feel when I’m missed and by whom, whether I want to or not.

In a weird way life has been exactly everything I ever wanted, just not the way I might have wanted it.

Embracing being Taltos made everything else drop into place to finally feel as though my life fit me. It unlocked the door to the room of my true reflections. No longer is it distorted what I see in thee that is also me.

It’s a nice room of mirrors to be in, however to get here you have to be truly you from the core.

Only you can discover who that is.

Only you can show it to the rest of us.

Only you can get it right for you.

You can make it too.

Whisper if you feel me

The worlds collide on the inside

I’ve been listening to Powerman 5000 for a few years now. Funny thing is I didn’t really start diggin’ in to the tracks Spider was throwin’ down until a couple years after I insulted him.

How many people become a fan of a band after they’ve met and insulted the lead singer?

I met Spider once through a mutual friend. That night while he was trying to tell me a funny story, I jumped the gun and said some smart ass hit I have apologized for since.

I have WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE on my “Me” playlist for a good reason. Let’s dive into the lyrics that for me are all about diving within.

what is it really that is in your head,
what little life that you had just died
i’m gonna be the one that’s taking over,

Taking the inward journey begins with letting the mind die and letting your higher self take over. Your higher self is your connection to what many would call God, in reality it’s our connection to existence and each other.

Those who’ve taken the journey get it, those who haven’t want to argue about it or want you to provide some sort concrete evidence that is all around them and they don’t even notice.

Somethings simply need to be experienced to be understood. The inward journey is about letting the world you think you know collide with the world as it really is.

now who’s the light and who is the devil, you can’t decide so i’ll be your guide

When you begin to see the functions of everything it turns it all upside down for a bit and trying to make sense of it without your high self there to be your guide is the fastest way to an I love me coat.

When I took my journey, I hit that point myself.

Like many others for a short period of time I had developed a God complex.

I was having trouble assimilating the massive understanding of what existence is and the role of each of us in it.

I’m human, no doubt about that.

I did see God’s job and I’m way too lazy. I also saw the Devil’s job, again way too lazy.

I have run into more than a few people over the last few years who have some interesting views about who they are and why. I have had people claim to be the following:

Isis

A Djinn

The Supreme Being

Loki

At one point I thought I was being trained to be the new Devil.

I was wrong.

I’m glad to be wrong.

Way too lazy.

Along this journey I had the guidance of my higher self showing me how I am just a human who can do some weird shit. With each of these other people I found a human who can do some weird shit.

I’ve met many others who can do the weird shit I do and weirder and we have come to the conclusion none of us is any kind of deity.

We are evidence of evolution and it’s continued effect on our species.

Many so called “Autistic” humans have a grasp of the working of the universe but no way to express it because the language does not exist for a lot of it.

It’s a constant stream of information that would leave most people catatonic.

Just because you can’t do it, don’t rule out the existence of those who can.

what is it really when they’re falling over,
everything that you thought was denied
i’m gonna be the one that’s takin over,
now this is what it’s like when worlds collide

Once you start this journey you realize it never ends and that you only undergo a transformation that allows your living spirit to be present in everything you do and who you are. There is no way to explain what that existence is or even a road map to get there.

The only way to do it is give up control over to your higher self and let the worlds collide on the inside.

Whisper if you feel me

Turn the Mirror Inward

It’s in inner reflection
I find true direction

Letting the light that bounces back at me
Be the light that is deep within me

Guiding myself through my own inner dark
Trusting my own light, my inner spark

Anything here I find
I put there to remind

To be a lesson in time of need
Maybe a reminder as to why my heart will forever bleed

It’s the inner journey into the torture chamber of the mind
Easy to get lost if you don’t know what you came to find

The dark is no place to play
It’s no place for a lost light to stay

Even those who wander make their way to the other side
On that day is a change in their ride

It’s in inner reflection
I find my true direction

Wander through my own dark
By the light of my own spark

Is there something left undiscovered and forgotten
Will what I find harden me or soften

I never feared the dark
And what was revealed by the light of my own spark

It’s when I turn the mirror in
Is how I see how the next chapter will begin

Each step taken with love
Never needing a shove

Walking one path of clear direction
Found during inner reflection

Some think enlightened means at peace
They have missed the point and it’s you they’re trying to fleece

Peace is a place if inner reflection
To find one’s true direction

It is emotion
That sets and keeps things in motion

If peace is all you desire
You have no inner fire

It’s that inner spark
At the center of your inner dark

That fans the flames of passion
That move you to action

To be and stay at peace is to be still
And give up the desire and the thrill

The thrill of the highs and the sweetness of the lows
It’s just how life goes

Your never got hurt if you didn’t care at all
It’s how much you loved that is the height of the fall

Turn the mirror inward to find true direction
No matter what you see is your own reflection

There to remind
There for you alone to find

In your time of need
Or to remind why your heart will ever bleed

Be the me that is we

IN THE MEANTIME by Space Hog is about the we as much as the you and me.

When I do Soul Readings I channel your higher self and the me becomes the we. It has given me and interesting view to see the world through the eyes of so many over the years.

It has also given me as much appreciation for the we as I have for the me and the you.  It’s being able to this that has me saying 1 and makes 3, you, me and the we.

Think about the relationships in your life. Does your projection change based on the nature of the relationship?

The ego steps back and becomes what will get us through this situation or in essence we cease to be the me and become the we.

This song gives me the reminder of how much more gets done for the sum by the we than the me could ever do. Here’s why.

And in the end we shall achieve in time, the thing we call divine
When all the stars will smile for me
Then all is well and well is all for all, and forever after
Maybe in the meantime wait and see . . .

We shall achieve.

Well is all for all.

Enough said.

We love the all, the all of you
Our lands are green, and sky is blue
When all in all, we’re just like you
We love the all you

Human is human and I don’t care if you’re male, female, hetro, homo, trans, undecided, young, old, and I really don’t give a shit about the pigmentation of your skin, human is human.

I don’t care about religion or what this god or that god or this prophet or this holy fucker over there said.

Human is human.

We are all human and any other label pass that point is egocentric identification to create our individuality and really doesn’t makes us any better or any worse than anyone else.

Human is human.

And when I cry for me I cry for you, with tears of holy joy
For all the days you’ve still to come
And did I ever say I’d never play, or fly towards the sun
Maybe in the meantime somethings missing

We all cry for the same reasons.

No one had tougher than anyone else.

Emotional pain is not a competition sport.

We overcome ourselves more than we overcome anything else and the first one to start with a “What about this person over here…..”

Fuck off and find something better to do with your time.

Human is human.

Sure there are people who do some extraordinary things, however every human is capable of the same thing, doing something extraordinary.

We give our ability to do this away every time we let it be me and you and not the we we can be.

We love the all, the all of you

Find the we in the me and find the way to create better future days.

Whisper if you feel me.

The Stalker Song

Sting on many occasions has questioned the mental health of people who think EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE is a romantic song as he himself, you know, the guy who wrote the song, has gone on record as saying it is a stalker song. I never understood how anybody wouldn’t see it and here’s why.

Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I’ll be watching you

Question to the audience.

How do you not associate this with stalking some one?

Sting said he wrote the song while still obsessed with an ex-wife. He admits publicly he was talking about stalking her and being totally obsessed.

Every single day
Every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
I’ll be watching you

I’m still confused how any one missed the “I’m stalking you” message in these lyrics.

O can’t you see
You belong to me

I hear these words are used in evidence for restraining orders.

 Since you’ve gone I been lost without a trace
I dream at night I can only see your face
I look around but it’s you I can’t replace
I feel so cold and I long for your embrace
I keep crying baby, baby please

How people miss this as broken heart obsession has me baffled.

Sting has said he’s disturbed by the fact that people are known to play this song at their weddings.

I understand why.

I hope you got a laugh you might have needed to start the week off with some joy.

Now never ends, so what are you waiting for

Time is more or a less a figment of our imagination.

We created it to make sense of our memories and to keep track of our lives.

All that really exists is now and it is infinite.

I call it the never ending now or the progressive moment, whatever you want to call it, we’re always in it right now.

RIGHT NOW by Van Halen (Van Hagar) captures the essence of what now is. Here’s why.

Don’t wanna wait til tomorrow,
Why put it off another day?
One more walk through problems,
Built up, and stand in our way ,ah
One step ahead, one step behind me
Now you gotta run to get even
Make future plans, don’t dream about yesterday

Our ego or who we think we are is defined by the things we allow ourselves to become emotionally attached to.

As long as we put off letting it go and hold on to it, maybe we can do something about it tomorrow or when we feel better about it, however for now, we are holding on to it.

We often are what stands in our way due to our unwillingness to let it go and change our view and move forward.

We cling to the past as if it is some sort of shield against what is happening right now.

We cling to the past to define who we are and why.

We cling to the past to avoid making any real changes in our lives and our projection of self or ego.

We spend so much time dwelling on the problem we miss the solutions and find ourselves falling further and further behind in where we think our life should be.

Our life progresses upon the path we lay out for ourselves. We make that path with our words and our thoughts in every moment of the never ending now.

We get stuck when we stop planning and dreaming ahead to revel in the history of who we have been or sometimes lost in it trying to figure out who we have become.

Miss the beat, you lose the rhythm,
And nothing falls into place, no
Only missed by a fraction,
Slipped a little off your pace, oh,
The more things you get, the more you want,
Just trade in one for the other,
Workin so hard, to make it easier,

Life has a flow and a music to it.

When you are in time or in step with the beat of your life, things move well and right along. When we stop we lose our rhythm and find ourselves out of place for what we were heading to before we stopped.

The endless hunger of want is something each of us deals with. I have noticed for myself the truth of the lyrics in my life as it has been and is on occasion.

There is a cosmic alchemy of sort to life.

To get “________” what are you willing to give up?

My old man always said work smarter not harder.

How I’ve used that in life is to realize I have a sharper intuition than my conscious mind could ever think me into or out of. I’m usually as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth. I trust myself to say what is needed more or less and not worry about offending or insulting anyone, just trusting whatever comes out will be honest.

When we stop to think before we speak it is usually so we don’t have to deal with the reaction or response we think is most likely.

 Right now, hey
It’s your tomorrow
Right now,
C’mon, it’s everything
Right now,
Catch that magic moment, and do it right,
Right now
Right now, oh, Right now
It’s what’s happening?
Right here and now
Right now
It’s right now
Oh,
Tell me, what are you waiting for
Turn this thing around

Whisper if you feel me.

The endless hunger of want

To explain the title let me give my interpretation of the metaphor known as the Djinn.

Better known as the mythological Genie of the lamp, the Djinn is often depicted as evil.

It was Barbara Eden in I DREAM OF JEANNIE that I first started to question what would it be like to be Genie.

Over the years I read a lot about the mythology of the Djinn. I also exposed my self to many pop culture representations of the Djinn, everything from a Disney cartoon to a horror film and even an episode of THE X-FILES.

It was THE X-FILES that first had me realize the tortured existence of what a Djinn would live if the legend is true. The wishes never come out like you think and for this we see the Djinn as evil.

The first thing every one of us thought when we first heard about getting wishes, was to wish for more wishes.

How fucked up is that?

The endless hunger of want.

We automatically key in on having our every desire filled instantly.

It was ALADDIN that examined the idea of using one of those wishes to set the Djinn free.

I though about it for a long time.

Put yourself in the shoes of this mythological creature. People wish for stuff they think will make their life complete. People wish to give up the idea of working for anything and just having it magically given to them.

I started to think why do I want to make a wish and why would I want that wish.

Then I started to think about being the guy granting the wishes.

The way you say it and the words you choose leave a lot open to interpretation.

In THE X-FILES when Mulder wishes for world peace, the Djinn shows him the world at peace and there are no human beings. Simply wipe us off the face of the planet and world peace is achieved.

I have heard the Devil is in the details. I started thinking about how to be as detailed as possible in creating a perfect wish.

The best I could come up with is to wish to be cured of the endless hunger of want yet still be alive and be able to enjoy life and for whoever or whatever is granting this wish to be able to say no or at least help guide the wishers to better wishes.

Is it the perfect wish?

For me it is as I see the Djinn as a captive of their own existence.

They have no free will to say no.

They are your slave.

There free will means nothing.

Sounds like a tortured existence to me.

I figured I could understand a being such of this, should it actually exist, being a bit grumpy and not feeling too bad about screwing with those who make ignorant wishes.

I am not saying I think it’s a good idea, I just get how it could happen if was to be real.

The endless hunger of want is what the Djinn feeds and maybe feeds on as well. Maybe our desires brought this myth to life to satisfy our unquenchable desire for more.

Perhaps the Djinn is such an evil prick about it as a way of trying to get us to be content with less and want less and enjoy what we have more.

Whisper if you feel me.

Caught in your creation as it’s seen through your third eye

THIRD EYE by Florence and the Machine is not only on my “ME” playlist, it also is one I use frequently to kick off my “Turn the mirror inward” playlist I listen to each night as I recenter myself. Here’s why.

Hey, look up!
Don’t make a shadow of yourself,
Always shutting out the light.
Caught in your own creation.

Our life, whether we like it or not is something of our own creation. Science has proven in recent years that our thoughts do indeed create our reality. We have a shared reality and that means this world as it is, we created it.

We can keep creating and create better than we’ve done.

Hey, look up!
You don’t have to be a ghost,
Here amongst the living.
You are flesh and blood!
And you deserve to be loved and you deserve what you are given.

So many feel like they’re stuck in the background and no one notices. Fuck that noise.

Too often we question the good things that come to us in life.

Too often we are looking for romantic love we forget to feel the love without romance all around us.

We are love at the core of our souls and to feel the love we give the love.

‘Cause your pain is a tribute
The only thing you let hold you
Wear it now like a mantle
Always there to remind you

If you never cared it wouldn’t hurt.

As long as you let it hurt, you definitely give a shit.

There is no escaping that.

As long you mask that hurt with anger, you ain’t dealin’ with jack shit or letting go of anything.

As long as you keep you there, there’ ain’t nobody that is gonna be getting close to you any time soon . You keep that reminder going so you revel in the pain that gives the reason to get angry and feel powerful.

As long as we own the pain we have a reason to hate.

‘Cause there’s a hole where your heart lies
And I can see it with my third eye.
And oh my touch, it magnifies
You pull away, you don’t know why.

As long as you hold onto the pain that perpetuates the hate there will be a hole in your heart. I look into your eyes and I can see straight into your soul.

Not as cool as it sounds, some of you are really fucked up inside. It is what is and some of you are incredible to look into.

I can see the pain through the hate no matter how hard someone brings it or throws it up as their mask. You can try to lie to this guy all you want and I don’t give two shits how many years you been doin’ it, I see right through you.

When we hurt, we feel weak and we attempt to project strength through anger and rage. We lash out as the savages we are. We pull away from that which could heal the hurt and we don’t know why.

It’s because the anger and rage makes us feel powerful.

Who doesn’t love to feel powerful?

Liars.

I am the same, I’m the same
I’m trying to change.

Carry On

There are few songs I have heard that are what I would call a perfect inspiration of hope.

IMAGINE by John Lennon is one of those songs, however that is not the one we are going to talk about today.

Bruce  Ciccarelli is a friend of mine and the song he wrote, CARRY ON is one I call the perfect companion piece to John Lennon’s IMAGINE. Here’s why.

There’s a light that’s shining
and there’s no denying it’s
burning bright in my soul

There’s a light that’s shining
and the warmth it’s providing
is bringing hope to me
Can I carry on

There is a light in us that we forget to acknowledge. It’s that light from the core that we often dim to fit in. The times I have been at my lowest in life, it was my own inner light that kept me going to just get through another day the best I could.

Too often in life we forsake our own inner glow to trade who we are for who “they” think we should be. Yes the infamous “they.”

Who are “they?”

If you feel like you can’t simply be you around some people, you found “they” or “them” as they are also known.

There’s a song that’s singing
and the words it’s bringing
are ringing loud in my mind

and the songs that’s singing
keeps me believing
in dreams of happy times
can I carry on

There are so many songs that each of us cling to that just seem to make everything better, even it’s only for a few minutes. There are songs that each of us listen to when we hit that point and need some hope and some inspiration to keep on keepin’ on.

And if you feel you can’t go on
I’ll be there to be strong
because together
we’re going to make it through

There’s no shame in needing a helping hand as you help yourself.

As a Taltos part of what I do is work with people as they get it back on track.

As an Empath I often give my strength to those I find in need while I hold the emotional turmoil for them.

It’s what an Empath is and what an Empath does.

When the night turns into dawn
It’s another victory won
and I know
I can carry on

I woke up today and the rest is gravy.

It doesn’t matter what happened yesterday because I survived to make it through to see another day.

For some, some days just waking up still alive is a victory in and of itself.

Break those chains that bind me
Break those walls that confine me
To a world spinning out of control

I often find the chains that bind me and the walls that confine me are my own doubts of whether or not I can do it.

How many Shamans you know that quote Rock ‘n’ Roll as the holiest of holy scriptures?

Another voice has spoken
to heal this heart that’s broken
with words of hope
to carry on

It’s the words we speak with the emotion behind them that can be the greatest healing that anyone could ever need. Our words have more power than we are comfortable with.

It means having to ignore the idea of saying “well don’t take it so personal.”

There are things that should be taken personally and some ignored, however when someone reaches out with a helping hand using words of hope, that has power to help you carry on. Shut the fuck up and listen.

Let it sink in.

Let the emotion behind the words wrap around you and move through you to give you that inspired and hope filled feeling that says

“Hell fuckin’ yes! Not only will I carry on, I’m gonna rock this bitch til the break of dawn and then do it again and again.”

I’m not your average Shaman.

 

Let it go

Let it go
Let it flow

Feel it move on its own
Reap now what you have sown

Let it stir and bring the storm
To be an artist there is no norm

Let lightning strikes and the rains pour down
Let the winds howl through town

Let it all rage
Just to find the wisdom of the sage

When peace and calm returns
Tell the tales of when the fire burns

Remember the ride
The ever shifting tide

A valley to every peak
Living ain’t for the weak

There is no time left to change this fate
Be glad its born from love not hate

It’s always rough at the start
For every new work of art

Each day a sculpture left in time
Living art living outside the lines

The roller coaster ride has begun
It may not always seem fun

This is your ride
This is your tide

Reap what you sow
Always be ready to go

Don’t Damn Me

DON’T DAMN ME by Guns ‘n’ Roses is the first song on the playlist simply titled “ME.” Here’s why.

Don’t damn me
When I speak a piece of my mind
‘Cause silence isn’t golden
When I’m holding it inside
‘Cause I’ve been where I have been
An I’ve seen what I have seen
I put the pen to the paper
‘Cause it’s all a part of me

Be it a song or casual conversation
To hold my tongue speaks
Of quiet reservations
Your words once heard
They can place you in a faction
My words may disturb
But at least there’s a reaction

Experience is the greatest teacher there is. We like to share our experiences with each other to show what we’ve learned. We also shape our opinions based on our experience.

How often do you remain silent simply because you figure the person or people you’re around will probably give you some shit?

We start doing this in grammar school and continue through middle school/junior high and on through high school and throughout life. Try and deny it all you want however think about the last time you held your tongue and why.

We often seek to validate ourselves through sharing our experiences and our views with other people in hopes of finding someone else who sees that way too. When we find an opposing view we often too quickly damn people for thinking the way the way do.

Some people say if you have nothing nice to say don’t say a word.

Fuck that noise. I say if have nothing nice to say, make damn sure it’s true. Here’s why.

The temporary sting of the truth hurts less and is over rather quickly where as the suffering of deceit even in lies of omission is cruel and long lasting.

I often think about the words I know will disturb when I am posting a status update on any particular topic and sometimes find myself in debate with someone who I pissed off.

Honestly I just told all of you that most of you still behave as children no matter how old you are. I am self aware and realize that might hit a nerve, at least it’s a reaction and it means there must be some truth to my words.

Sometimes I wanna kill
Sometimes I wanna die
Sometimes I wanna destroy
Sometimes I wanna cry
Sometimes I could get even
Sometimes I could give up
Sometimes I could give
Sometimes I never give a fuck

No shit really, me too. Who hasn’t lived this list?

It’s only for a while
I hope you understand
I never wanted this to happen
Didn’t want to be a man
So I hid inside my world
I took what I could find
I cried when I was lonely
I fell down when I was blind

No one ever really wants to grow up.

To grow up and become a man or a woman is put aside childish things and take responsibility for your actions and words.

For me to become a man, I became a father.

I look back at my life and at 25 I was with a woman who was 10 years older than me and she had 3 teenagers. I stepped up and into the role of stepdad. At 25 I took it very seriously. To this day when I run into that woman’s sister, she still tells me I was the best thing that happened to her sister and her kids.

If you want to know what it really means to man up, it means to step and be a father even if the kids aren’t yours. That wasn’t the only time I took on that role and I do have a son of my own.

In life we often find ourselves locked into our own world trying to figure it out and find some way to do something about it. In life there will be tears on occasion, we’re human. In life we will stumble and fall. It’s unavoidable.

Life moves forward, never in reverse and there is no pause button and we get no do overs.

How can I ever satisfy you
An how can I ever make you see
That deep inside we’re all somebody
An it don’t matter who you wanna be
But now I gotta smile
I hope you comprehend
For this man can say it happened
‘Cause this child has been
condemned
So I stepped into your world
I kicked you in the mind
An I’m the only witness
To the nature of my crime

I take a lot of shit for being very honest about being a Taltos and what that means.

It means as an Empath, I know what you’re feeling regardless of what you say or try to show.

As a Telepath I can see into your subconscious mind.

As a Medium there are things without bodies that use my mouth to speak on occasion.

In all honesty, I simply share my experience to show my understanding. Since I started being public and honest about those things above 4 years ago, I lost everything including a marriage. Just the historical facts of my life.

I also spent those 4 years working with many Empaths and teaching them how to better manage the gift to make it less of a curse.

I’m proud of the work I’ve done to help other people simply because I was there and so were they and I just happened to be able to give them what they needed.

There are times in conversations that we miss what someone may have said at the conscious level, however the idea still gets planted and has time to grow.

But look at what we’ve done
To the innocent and young
Whoa listen to who’s talking
‘Cause we’re not the only ones
The trash collected by the eyes
And dumped into the brain
Said it tears into our
conscious thoughts
You tell me who’s to blame

Look at kids these days carrying smartphones and looking down and not looking at each other or talking to each other.

Look at what we teach our young through our example.

Even if you don’t have kids, they see you and want to be like you. It doesn’t matter if you don’t want to be a role model, to any child any adult they see is a role model and you don’t get to choose, they do.

Monkey see,monkey do. What do the monkeys see you doing?

I know you don’t wanna hear me cryin’
An I know you don’t wanna hear me deny
That your satisfaction lies in your ILLUSIONS
But your delusions are yours and not mine
We take for granted we know the whole story
We judge a book by its cover
And read what we want
Between selected lines

I have seen these people who insist the meaning of life is to be happy. Do you have any idea the state of total fuckin’ delusion it takes to be continuously happy?

I do, I tried it and my response is fuck that noise. Life is messy and you are not always going to be happy. Get the fuck over it.

How often do you dig deeper into any issue before runnin’ at the mouth about what you think?

How often to you only pay attention to that which reinforces your view and ignore that which might give you pause?

Don’t hail me
An don’t idolize the ink
Or I’ve failed in my intentions
Can you find the missing link
Your only validation is living your own life

Vicarious existence is a fucking waste of time
So I send this song to the offended
I said what I meant and I’ve never pretended
As so many others do intending just to please
If I damned your point of view
Could you turn the other cheek

No one deserves to be elevated above any other for any reason.

No one else is living your life.

No one else is there when it’s you all alone.

No one knows what you know about you and why you do the things you do. So fuck anyone off who can’t take you being you, doin’ it your way because it works for you.

I realize it’s probably difficult to accept a Shaman who says fuck as much as I do, doin’ it my way anyway.

George Thorogood once said “Rock is supposed to be dirty.”

The true difference between debate and argument is this. In debate you can listen to someone damn your point of view to hell and back and instead of getting pissed off, you find the counter point to their every point. It really is that simple, not easy by an infinite shot, however quite simple.

But don’t damn me
When I speak a piece of my mind
‘Cause silence isn’t golden
When I’m holding it inside
‘Cause I’ve been where I have been
An I’ve seen what I have seen
I put the pen to the paper
‘Cause it’s all a part of me
Don’t damn me
I said don’t damn me
I said don’t hail me
Don’t damn me

This song is one I have been listening to for so long that the lyrics have become a part of how I view the world, though I would choose different words to describe my view.

Find your view in your words that makes sense to you and fuck ’em if that can’t hang with it.

Life is beautiful even at SIXX: AM

Nikki Six is a prolific songwriter as the main writing force in Motley Crue for over 3 decades. As Motley wraps up their career, Nikki isn’t done and SIXX: AM is his new band. When he wrote his autobiography called THE HEROINE DIARIES, well of course he wrote and recorded an album to go with it.

I remember the first time I heard LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL. I heard the road map to life in Nikki’s words. I listen to the song at least once a day. Here’s why.

You can’t quit until you try
You can’t live until you die
You can’t learn to tell the truth
Until you learn to lie

Perfect lyrics filled with absolute irrefutable truth. It takes wisdom to understand the truth of these words. Nikki Sixx is the kind of cat who lives it before he ever puts the pen to paper.

Some would say how could live after dying?

Ever kill your ego?

It’s a metaphorical death of self that leads to greater understanding of who you truly are and what your options are to do something with it.

As the Shaman I am, I had to go through the process of totally destroying my ego and reconstructing it. It’s taken about 4 years and this blog is the result.

I’m a spiritual guide and teacher and it is something that I never wanted to be. I was born a Taltos which comes from Hungarian history and is a genetically born Shaman. The me I had become before I learned this about myself 4 years ago, was not happy to learn this.

To become who I am, I had to kill who I was so to speak. Your ego is the definition of your projected self or to say the idea of you. You can kill that and bring it back to life as many times as it takes to finally bring forth the true you from within. Until you do that, you don’t live, you survive life.

I know some things that you don’t
I’ve done things that you won’t

I’ve noticed something over the years. When someone says I know things you don’t, people tend to get defensive automatically. Here’s why.

You challenge their ego and everything they might hold sacred and dear. To most people the idea of learning something that changes everything is a scary thought. We like to have what we think to be the truth to never be altered because it is part of what gives us comfort in life.

It is our source of strength to an extent, this view that may or may not be totally out of whack with what actually is. The only way to know the truth of any one thing is to detach from it and view it with out bias.

Some say that’s impossible. I have done things that you won’t such as destroying my ego removing all attachment from all things.

The cruelest thing we do as human beings to each other, is to insist that since we ourselves can’t do it or haven’t done it then neither can anyone else. We throw up walls and cast insults on those who can do what we can’t instead of accepting it. We do this out of fear of being inferior.

None is any better than any other. It doesn’t matter what anyone is capable of, they are no better and should never be elevated above the rest. When you do this to a human you inflate their ego and give them the potential to become narcissistic or develop a God complex.

This why I call physicians by name. It’s why I refuse to use any title when addressing anyone. The work you chose to put into your life to become what you are does not require the rest of us to treat you any better than anyone else.

It disgusts me the way our society treats celebrity as demi gods.

I dig Nikki’s music, however he’s also a dad and I would be willing to bet that being a husband and a father has become a bigger part of who Nikki is compared to who he was before that first child was born.

I have watched masses of people quote celebrities as scripture bearing prophets. I don’t see musicians as prophets. They are people with a gift for teaching through experience and then singing about it.

In days long gone it was the Bard and the Minstrel who traveled from town to town to share their tales through story and song to teach and entertain the people.

The modern day Bards have become our rock gods and goddesses and we do this to them unfairly. They are just as human as we are.

 Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful.
Will you swear on your life,
That no one will cry at my funeral?

Speaking for myself, looking back at my life, at my funeral there won’t be a dry eye in the house. Some say that is an arrogant fuckin statement. I say talk to people who’ve known me over the years and ask them if it’s true.

How do you feel about your own funeral?

It’s the life you lead and how beautiful you try to make it for those around you that will determine how many eyes are dry and how many let a river of tears come forth because of the hole now left in those lives.

That life is work, it doesn’t just happen, it’s created through the living example of you that you allow yourself to be.

NIN says bow down before the one you serve

As a Taltos, (Hungarian genetically born Shaman) I have a way of finding the spiritual truth in just about anything. You would be surprised how much of our life is spiritually driven even if we don’t think of it in those terms. I am not talking religion, in fact I would like to see every religion wiped off the face of the planet.

Let’s take a look at HEAD LIKE A HOLE by Nine Inch Nails and see if there might be some spiritual truth.

God money I’ll do anything for you.
God money just tell me what you want me to.
God money nail me up against the wall.
God money don’t want everything he wants it all.

“God money” is a concept that we live without even thinking about it. We need money to live in this social paradigm of human existence right now.

What can you do without money?

Think about what it is you put yourself through for a job or to just survive another day for some.

People sell their bodies for money.

We justify selling our lives to our jobs because we need the money.

Some of us never stop doing whatever it takes to get God money in our pockets because we want it all and right now God money is the only way to get it.

God money’s not looking for the cure.
God money’s not concerned with the sick among the pure.
God money let’s go dancing on the backs of the bruised.
God money’s not one to choose

Pharmaceutical companies have been working to keep Marijuana illegal for several decades because it cures cancer and all they do is treat it with expensive drugs and torturous treatments such as Chemotherapy. If you have never seen what someone goes through when they are receiving Chemo treatments, it’s inhuman.

What does it take to accumulate large amounts of money?

Typically speaking you will have other people working for you and make that money off their backs as your slaves. We call them employees and even though it is their work that accumulates our God money we keep the biggest chunks for ourselves and pay them the bare minimum of what we can get away with while worshiping our God money, because as long as we have it, we can do whatever we want.

Get a good enough lawyer and you can get away with murder, just ask O.J. Simpson.

Got enough money and you can make sure you don’t have to pay taxes, ask Donald Trump.

Money is our God in this current social paradigm. Everything is about the bottom line and how much will it make me.

Head like a hole.
Black as your soul.
I’d rather die than give you control.
Head like a hole.
Black as your soul.
I’d rather die than give you control.
Bow down before the one you serve.
You’re going to get what you deserve.
Bow down before the one you serve.
You’re going to get what you deserve.
You know who you are.

Think of the CEO’s and the like that run businesses large and small. I have seen the same behavior from the guy who owns a local bar or two as I have from the CEO of a multi-billion dollar corporation.

Their head is like a hole, a black hole sucking in everything around them for them. They feel good about the way they don’t have to do jack shit but can tell everyone that works for them what to do or take their livelihood and basically their life away.

Take away a human beings ability to afford to live and you take their life.

Think about the number of massive lay offs over the last several years. Think about the number of people in the USA alone who had to apply for extensions on unemployment benefits.

The rich bitch about the poor living off the government tit when they are the ones who put it in our mouth by taking away the God money and keeping it for themselves.

If you want to bow down and worship the God money, you’ll get what you deserve, that cold lonely empty feeling that won’t go away no matter how many things you buy or fake friends you have because, well you have money and they should be lucky you even let them hang out with you.

If you look at the idea of greed and then look at our current socioeconomic landscape, it’s hard to miss how soulless we are as a people in search of God money.

Do you serve God money?

Nine Inch Nails: Head Like a Hole (Remastered) from Nine Inch Nails on Vimeo.

Rock ‘n’ Roll, it comes from the soul

Rock ‘n’ Roll comes from the soul
You write it cause you lived that role

It comes from deep inside
Where others may hide

But for you and I
We know it’s do or die

We live fast and burn hot
We live like it’s our only shot

We did it because we could
Not because we are no good

We are the best when being bad
Which explains the times we had

It takes a sinners life
One that has seen some strife

To make a song live on forever in your heart
That’s living your life as art

To make the sacrifice and live through pain
Knowing you would do it again and again just the same

You see what it gave you
This live life at full speed view

You see how it saved you from a life as a drone
No matter how may times you were left all alone

We danced with the Devil by every kind of light
We beat him fair and square in the darkness of the night

We are the saviors who went through hell to find the lost
It was we who sent you back when our paths crossed

We only met that one time when you needed to hear
The words from a stranger to show you your path clear

That mysterious guy or gal who was there then gone
But those wise words in your head live on

Maybe you get to know us for a while
Those people who used to make you smile

Then one day we were gone
Even though we live on

On to the next in need
To plant another seed

We remember thee just as sweet
And maybe again we’ll meet

Those who wander are not lost in the dark
We are their to give you back your spark

We look like the demons and live that way too
Only revealing our true nature to you

We came by to send you back out of hell
Now that you have been here a spell

We show up not too long after a wish or a prayer
It sometimes feels like being the non character player

We live at full speed
Always their to serve a need

We only realize as we look back in time
How many we helped back across the line

Then back into the depths we dove again
To find those who are not forsaken

You gotta go through it to get to it
I don’t make the rule, I just live it

Go through hell to get to heaven is how it’s done
We bring them out one by one

You never knew we were here until now
Because we didn’t know we were doing it that’s how

It’s just who we are
Not trying to be a star

After doing it so many times
Our light is too bright as it shines

No longer can we wander
Often we sit and wonder

We look back at the ones we set straight
We look and see we never once got there too late

We come forward for all to see
We the evolution of humanity

It’s you we hear calling when we can’t explain that meeting
You’re the voice in our head we are happy to finally be greeting

We our the next step of our species to reach our full potential
It’s been happening over the generations sequential

We live fast and we burn hot
And our location is always the spot

That’s the life so many have had
Being at their best when their being bad

Always telling stories
Of all their former glories

When you are along for the ride
You set aside your pride

You listen for a strange reason
You find us able to keep you even

You can’t explain that feeling when we are there
You can’t explain how it is you feel how much we care

Even though our stories may shock you
It’s just because we live the Rock view

Think of where the name Rock ‘n’ Roll came from
Then you’ll start to understand us some

But when you look back when you didn’t know where to turn
We were all there and what got us there is the way we burn

You don’t think of us often but when you do
We go back to that time with you

Some of you I have met
Some maybe just not yet

You have met some one like me
Maybe even two or three

Maybe it’s you who is waking to see
That maybe you are just like me

We are human without a doubt
No need to freak out

It’s in the genetics through and through
Evolution in our DNA I am telling you

Though what we do seems like majick
I can think of things much more tragic

I bet you got some art in you
From living life from your view

It may not be Rock ‘n’ Roll
But we all know it will come from your soul

If it’s not coming from there
You are a just poser square

For those who live life free
Art just springs up around thee

It’s how we live our life day to day
No we are not insane

We like producing some results again and again
It usually leads to helping a friend

We carry a never ending spark
We who wander in the dark

If you want to Rock
No need to knock

Come on in and enjoy the show
When you’re ready to leave just get up and go

Make room for the next crowd coming in
It’s the living Rock show that never comes to an end

God gave Rock ‘n’ Roll to us to give another guide
Of how to find the wisdom we each have inside

For those who live the songs we love
We know Rock came from above

It saved our lives one day
We saw you living the same way

We hoped you’d learn from our life
So you could avoid our strife

We lived it
To steer you from it

Just the lives we led by the choices we made
Our tales of doing what was forbade

Some do it with lyrics and sing out loud
Some like me do with it prose and do it proud

But it’s in our soul
To live fast and never grow old

Max speed and max power
Ready for the show at any hour

If our star ever begins to fade with age
It’s so others can take the stage

We only hope you won’t forget
All those years we were rocking it

Call us classics and it makes us smile
That shows we did it with style

When you think of us as you look back
We hope to be in that good memory stack