Thanks Chumbawumba.

I get knocked down
But I get up again
You’re never gonna keep me down

This is my life, I’m constantly getting knocked the fuck down and I always get back up.

There’s no way anyone can keep me down.

That is an arrogant as fuck thing to say about myself.

However, I’ve lived my life and I’ve seen me get knocked the fuck down by a stroke that took my memory.

I’ve seen me today walking with pain in my thighs.  It got to a 9 before I stopped and stood still for 30 seconds then I started walking again. I’d get around 500 yards then repeat. 

I walked 2 miles one way and then I walked back the shelter.

Not once did I cry out or cry.

Tell me I’m human.

What human being does that?

Since I can’t charge my scooter, what else can I do but walk.

By the way, I’m not looking for sympathy.

I just want to know what it is I am, because I’m not normal by any stretch of the imagination.

I’m thinking on Friday I go for it and walk to the weed store then walk to the park. I know I can take the pain. It will be 3 to 4 miles.

I didn’t do it this Friday because I figured I’d buckle under the pain.  However, I didn’t buckle today.

I don’t know how I do it, I just needed to go to Grocery Outlet and Target. I knew it would hurt and I knew I needed 30 seconds to pause before I started walking again.

For the record I know I’m not scared of pain. I used to be at level ten pain for around 5 years in my 30’s. My level 10.

On a 1 to 10 scale of pain my 8 would kill most people from what I was told by a physical therapist.

Who does this shit?

I do.

I’m a scifi show. At least a movie.

I can warm people up, I can make people see shit that isn’t there, I can drain demons,  I can hug people in New Zealand, I can see people’s memories when they talk about it, I can feel what others are feeling in the moment, I can take others pain, how am I not a superhero?

I jest about being a superhero.  Heroes get themselves killed and I have no desire to die.

Super anything is for children. 

I’m an adult.  However, I’m powerful. There’s shit I do that I haven’t seen in fiction.

Others can do shit as I can. I get why they hide what they can do. It’s not normal.

The US government has been using people such as me for many years.  There was a CIA agent I spoke to more than ten years ago. He confirmed it for me.

When I asked how can I get hired, he said I would have to apply with the CIA. Fuck that.

If I had, I couldn’t talk about my abilities.

Had they hired me, I couldn’t talk about my abilities.

They fucked up.

Remember I get knocked but I get up again and no one can keep me down.

Have a blessed one and be excellent always.