My family, my parents and sister, I looked nothing like them, and behavior, I behave nothing like they did.
Among friends, the shit I like takes a backseat.
Among social media, oh yeah I’m an outcast.
Why?
Why is it that I have been an outcast?
I like talking about non human beings as if they actually exist.
I read people to the soul.
Most people I can’t talk to that about.
Most people don’t understand because they can’t do it, so that means no one can do it unless they’re someone famous and the people don’t need to be faced with it in their face.
I get that I’m venting, and what can be done is already being done by myself and others.
I like being an outcast, however I would like to know what it feels like to be acknowledged for my skills.
Acknowledged, not looking for validation, I know I’m valid.
However, one more fucking douche bag dip shit says I’m not an Empath because they don’t exist, I will forget I’m a pacifist.
I will remember that I studied martial arts and I know how to rip people’s throats out.
This is who I am.
I know how deadly I am. It’s why I’m always sitting with my back to the wall even I’m my own place. My awareness is looking for an attack.
What is the best way to avoid an attack?
Don’t be there when they attack.
It’s better to not fight. Fighting is two people who are trying to kill each other.
Boxing, MMA, anything with rules is not fighting.
It’s sport, but it’s not fighting.
My old Kung Fu master tried MMA, the shit he couldn’t do because it was illegal…
He taught me a few things though he never knew I’d been studying martial arts most of my life.
No one knew until I decided to become a pacifist after nearly killing my nephew in self defense in less than 10sec.
That’s when I talked about it.
Bruce Lee wrote Jeet Kun do and what I gathered from it, had anyone ever seen me fight, they would know how to beat me unless I continued to evolve in skill and form.
No one looks for what they aren’t looking for.
The master and the sword become 0.
I wrote this years ago.
When the master meets the sword, the sword cuts the fuck out of the master.
As the master and the sword become one they move together as one.
However as they become 0, the master realizes the sword is a sword and knows what it needs to do, no need for the master.
The sword will cut down any and all of the masters foes without the master even touching the sword.
Fight without fighting and let the roving sword protect you.
But be wary not to be cut by the sword for doing what one knows not to do.
The sword will kill, however the sword will fuck you up for a while first.
Tracy Chapman has got me thinking about a woman who is 22, I’m 50.
I once wrote this article talking about every man/woman needs to find an older member of the opposite sex that they can trust to give them advice.
I look for grandma’s and see what they say.
Think about this way. I’ve learned from older women my entire life.
I’ve learned from older men my entire life.
Each has a lot to teach.
It’s why I use “one” because any who has dealt with any situation is one I look for when I need advice.
It could be one is younger, older, my age, man, woman. I don’t do race, however I acknowledge that other cultures have existed for thousands of years.
I get they are not going to change any time soon.
This means one could be any color of the rainbow.
It really pisses me off that the LGBTQ fuck heads stole the rainbow for their logo.
I went in to Stonewall the LGBTQ place in town to teach reiki for free to everyone. Until I got so much hate from the leader of the session that I apologized if my being straight offended anyone, and I left crying.
I haven’t thought about that in a couple years. I’ve dealt with it.
Note I say one could be a man or a woman. I don’t care who they fuck.
I used to get stoned with my hairdresser in my twenties and he was as gay as gay could be. He would say he was a flamer.
It’s not that I have anything against anyone for who they want to fuck.
When I drove cab, I had a few gay men hit on me. I told them I’m straight but I’m flattered.
Why wouldn’t any one be flattered if anyone thought they were cute, and in a drunken stuper tried picking one up?
Love knows no sex.
Lust knows sex.
Lust mixed with love can produce the most amazing sex.
It don’t matter who you have sex with.
Something’s, most things are Universal in understanding.
But listening to this song it brings back so many images and video reels in my mind’s eye.
My mind’s eye plays before me yet it moves so fast that the conscious mind can barely grasp. It’s why I let the intuive mind do the thinking.
I get what I’m doing. Trying to explain it to all of you, well, step into my mind that has been strategically twisted.
That means I used strategy to twist my mind inside and out.
Why let anyone else have control over my mind?
Frequently throughout the day I ask “is this mine?”
As any empath should. It’s the best way to know if it’s not. Then one has choices, take it and deal with it, send it back, and a couple others.
I use Reiki. My Reiki.
I put myself at peace and transmute the emotional energy floating in the room being repressed or suppressed. Taking it and using the state of peace to transmute it into pure love healing energy that goes everywhere like an orb across the universe nearly instaneously.
I know I’ve written that more than a few times.
I do it to remind myself what I do I do for everyone in the universe. I give love to the universe.
I don’t think about what I get.
I know that I’ll get mine, no need to worry, let go into the flow.
I am here on this bar stool like a circle it ends where it starts.
David Lowry is one of my favorite artists. His band, Cracker, not uncle cracker, Cracker has been singing my life and others lives for many years.
I’m am here in my chair and I can’t even begin to explain this lyric as it is my life, more or less.
However, it’s a spiral, going up and down depending on my mood. I work to keep the spiral tight. I like to allow my emotions to get the better of me as they did today.
Got my electric bike today.
Couldn’t even get the seat and the handle bars right. I was so excited.
On the way home I figured out what I need to do. One or two adjustments tomorrow and it will be fine.
I love the bike, however I’m a perfectionist. I work to not be do exacting. However, if it works for you, not against you, fuck it.
And I got a drone delivered today. This is something I’m going to enjoy learning.
I love my life.
I love the lack of spiraling out of control.
I love that I manage myself.
I love that the only one responsible for me, is me and I take full responsibility of me.
Listening to Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne.
Learn how to love and forget how to hate.
These are lyrics from this song.
I’ve been loving the world more than half my life. More than 30 years.
Songs such as this are why.
Church of rock n roll, I figured if people weren’t listening, I’d explain what a song meant to me.
Closer from NIN I turned it into love song showing how wonderful love can be. It’s on the site.
Do you play in your daily life? What says “playtime” to you?
Seriously, I want to know.
The trick in life is to have fun, and it’s not fun, make it fun. Because no one likes work, except to work hard at hardly working because your having to much fun with your job.
Depends on what one is happy about that determines the opposite. It could be sorrow or it could be rage.
Depends on what one is happy about.
What can one do to steal ones happy?
Why would one want to steal ones happy?
Several reasons come to mind.
As an empath one can use their ability as an energy vampire stealing the joy that one had.
My mother was the greatest of all energy vampires. Anything that made you happy, she could make you feel two inches tall, taking your joy away.
Empaths are adept energy vampires.
I used to do this trick, where I would hangout in front of this club every Friday night. I let all the energy vampires feed on me, and then when they good and feeling good about themselves. That’s when I would steal all their joy.
Using Reiki to turn it into pure love healing energy that hits everyone.
This is what I do.
I use Reiki to turn energy I take on as an empath and turn it into pure love healing energy that goes everywhere like an orb across the universe.
These days I look at the republican party and it sickens my stomach.
That trump was the republican douche bag and a half, this is why I don’t do politics anymore.
If you look at the shared story of America, the founding fathers knee this day would come and that’s why the freedom of speech and freedom of the press was the first fucking god damn fucking thing in the constitution.
Look at the constitution. Read it.
I’ve read it many times.
It says nothing about republicans or democrats.
Fuck the system is what I say.
I’ve been fucking the system most of my life.
As supervisor working for untied healthcare, I got over 1 million in claims paid for retirees.
That’s not where I stopped or where I started.
Let your good deeds go unnoticed.
Do good deeds on secret.
If you do someone some good, pray no one ever finds out.
I could put it in so many ways it hurts.
Politics is doing good and everyone sees the good you do.
It’s an ego trap and a half.
Look at the narcissist that got elected president.
I woke up and I said “I woke up today and the rest is gravy.”
I should’ve said the rest is the rests gravy.
I started my day walking an hour to work and I didn’t have my sun glasses. My eyes are extra sensitive to light. On a cloudy day I wear my shades. On a rainy day I figure I can do without them.
Oh how wrong I was. As I was walking I could see blue skies, I was about half way through the walk to Sarge’s.
By the time I got there, the sun was out and it was killing my eyes.
Sarge is a disabled Army veteran.
I use Instacart to get his groceries. Today he had to wait until after I left before they got there. I was annoyed.
Actually by this time I was irritated. Annoyance happened before I got there.
Then it rained like hell and I did need to walk. And I was grateful that my brother was out and about and picked my ass up.
He had been having a heart attack over his mom. We went to his place.
I listened and I listened.
And it seems we kind of got some shit figured out. His mom sleeps through the day and then she gets lively around 5 to 6 pm.
She used to work all day and then at night she used to be a dance instructor.
This is why she sleeps during the day and gets lively at night. It’s what her life was for 50 years.
Then Sarge called and he didn’t get the ham he ordered that was our Christmas dinner. In the morning I’m going to go and get a ham for our Christmas dinner.
I know I yelled when I got off the phone with Sarge. My brother was taken a back. I don’t yell. My brother has seen me pissed, and he knew I was pissed.
I calmed down rather quickly. I used to be quick to anger and quick to cool down.
It took all day for me to feel angry.
That’s an improvement. I used to take shit like this all the time, however I can allow myself to get angry when I look at the situation and if most people would get angry, I get it.
However, my anger has levels and I’ve said this before. A few days or weeks ago.
I live now, and I don’t worry about what happened and I don’t worry about what will happen. I focus on the here and now.
For the shit I can do, I have as fucked up time living life as anyone else. Just because I have shit that most people can’t do, doesn’t mean on the basic level of human being I don’t do fucked up shit.
I think or the story of Saul/Paul from the bible.
The dude stoned christians. Then God said you will do my work.
What are gonna do when God says…..
God is in everything.
However, if we had no idea what technology was, we would believe others were gods.
That’s where we get religion. Posers pretending to be God.
You don’t have to be a sinner, but it helps. How else can you give guidance to people if you have never sinned?
I love the king of pop, even after everything we’ve heard.
I may not like what he did, but I do love his music.
I’m asking him to change his ways.
I’m always asking. I’m always working at changing my ways.
Mediums are susceptible to possession by any entity.
I’m susceptible to possession by any entity.
What this means is I spend most of my day telling shit to fuck off. I will not allow it to exist within my body.
I am the soul, and I have a body. As a medium one gets to understand what that means on a deeply personal level.
How do I explain it to those who might be able to grasp the understanding?
The things I do are things I don’t think about because it’s part of who I am.
I don’t think about reading someone’s mind. I have to think, to concentrate to not go into their subconscious.
I don’t think about feeling anyone, I just feel a ton of people. I have to concentrate to block it out.
It’s why I’m having issues with the CE5 protocols that Steven Greer talks about.
Now, I’m going to tell some shit I probably shouldn’t because I can’t verify it.
As a medium I specialize in channeling spirit.
Aliens have spirits.
Now, I am not going to say that I have channeled aliens.
They have said I have channeled aliens as they speak to me through me.
However, until one shows up…..
Think about from my perspective.
You have a ton of shit that would love to use you and you spend most of your time making sure it can’t. While passing as off you couldn’t do any of the shit you can do, because you know most people don’t get it, and you used to be one of them.
Your that intelligent that you think of things like this, understanding that most won’t believe even if you proved it to them.
Why?
Social media has made narcissism a thing people don’t think about because they would have to understand what it was doing to them.
I think about it.
My entire life is built around peace.
Social media negates my peace.
It takes a few posts before I get sick of it.
It’s all the same thing on a repeat.
No original ideas.
Nikola Tesla said something like, I don’t care if they steal my ideas, I wish they had ideas of their own.
Looking at what I write to see if I can figure out what I missed.
My personality is a mental disorder.
I actually enjoy doing the CE5 protocols. You know working to contact aliens.
I love long discussions about stuff.
The operative word being long.
I love discussions that start somewhere and go everywhere.
Like I write.
I’m ADHD.
There used to be this thing that people used to do called commenting.
I get very few comments, and almost no conversation.
Apparently the idea if conversing with me scares the shit out of people.
Or
They just don’t know what the fuck to say.
I get most people aren’t hip to talking with themselves through me. Before I realized it was what I had done my entire life, I would have fucked me off.
I get that I got this coming.
My last wife, the one who thinks she owns my soul, I wish I was making that up.
She gave me a zodiac reading that shocked the shit of her, yet I wasn’t impressed.
Then she gave me a tarot reading that shocked the shit out of her, yet I wasn’t impressed.
Do you get where this going?
I do.
I wouldn’t have believed empaths exist until I realized I was one. The same thing about telepaths and mediums and other shit people can do.
However, I’ve had too many experiences with others to ever doubt myself.
Are you gonna go my way by Lenny Kravitz is playing. The song he said was the Christ singing.
Under pressure by Queen and Bowie just started.
This world is under pressure.
Some crack under pressure.
Some need pressure to wake the fuck up.
I’m never more at peace than when it’s a shit storm from all sides.
If you’ve never heard of Jasmine, she won artist of the year in Nashville as a Hard Rock performer.
I think she might have a clue what she’s talking about.
It’s not just attitude, is what’s beneath the attitude.
Think about it.
I thought about it.
If one wants to give attitude, as in giving a fictional performance using fictional emotions, one is a pansy.
It has to come from within.
This is why Bruce Lee said take anything anyone will teach you and make it uniquely your own, or something like that.
Make it uniquely your own.
Hence why I teach people to go within and learn from themselves.
Everyone has the ability to learn, there is nothing anyone can do about one who wants to learn.
However, if one has the ability the learn by oneself, one will learn much.
Every pupil that has a question, upsets those who already learned.
Why upset learning?
I’m order to control others.
The Mob Theory put into motion in the schools.
Put people in a group and the intellect of everyone in that group goes down to the lowest intellect of that group.
They’ve done studies.
Emotion takes over in a group. It’s easier to sway people with emotion than logic.
That’s why Trump won.
He uses emotions against people to make them fear what he wants them to fear.
It’s a simple tactic.
Once you understand how easily many people can be manipulated, one has a choice, one can manipulate easily enough, or one understands to do so even with the best of intentions, one will fuck people up.
I work at not fucking people up.
I work at assisting those who are bound and determined to save their own ass.
These people will make it.
Those waiting for someone to save their ass, will be waiting forever. As they should.
If you can’t find a way to save your ass, you aren’t looking very hard.
I’ve already saved my own ass enough times to understand the truth is what I speak.
The truth, not my truth, the truth.
One must save one’s own ass.
Be ready for assistance as one saves one’s own ass.
All our problems, all our fears seem to disappear.
That’s the lyric.
It doesn’t matter who your with, when your with someone, one of your problems disappears. As one and one converse, one forgets what problems one has. One doesn’t think about the fears one has.
And that’s the serious portion of our program.
I want to talk about losing me.
You see I’ve lost me and I miss me.
I’m not sure where I’ve gotten off to.
However if you find me, please return me.
Speaking of guinea pigs, where’s the chili?
It will cost a buck 2.85.
If you don’t start doing it I’m going to…I forgot what was I talking about.
I like cheese.
I did a thing and a thing did me and the we did this thing that made this thing and it was a thing.
I look at the unicorns who have licorice strands tied together for horns and they are made if marshmallow cream.
This is the Silly Minute.
If anything made sense, seek help, not from me, I wrote this shit and it doesn’t makes sense to me either.
I used to this weekly.
Let me know by commenting if I should do it again?
Journey is the inspiration for this. It was the song that was in when I came in after having a smoke.
Followed by What I Got by Sublime.
If I allow myself to flow, what I want is what I have.
I give love daily to everyone.
I get love from others.
I have a job and a new one beginning later this month.
With this new job, I’ll be able to not have to worry about anything.
My life will be paid for.
All I want, truly want is to speak to an alien, extraterrestrial, non human being.
I have loved Star Trek for over 40 years. The idea that we could work with aliens has been the dream that Gene Roddenberry gave me.
I paused after writing that. It has been more than 40 years. Since I was 7 or 8 and I’m 50.
It’s good for me to take the time to understand what time used to mean to me. It allows me to fit in.
All that exists does so now. Now is forever.
There is no past not is there a future.
This is why I go with the flow. As I flow, I grow. On with the neverending journey and onto the the next point of interest on my road map to understanding.
As you’ve read I truly dig the fuck out of this band.
This song was playing when I came back in and I decided to write.
I never have any idea about what I’m going to write until I read it.
That’s the intuive mindset.
No thinking.
I’ve had enough experience that if I need to stop and think, I’m in trouble and others might be as well. Thankfully I’m a thinker and a half.
I work at my intuive thinking, as I work on everything about me.
Even my clothes, I look like a homeless dude, no pays attention to the homeless.
Everything I do is synchronicity as we all are synchronistic.
That’s a new word synchronistic.
We each have a part to play in synchronicity as we live. Synchronicity is what brings people together based on who they are.
As they meet new synchronicities come about. As they talk everyone feels every word they are saying and it’s stored in the subconscious.
It’s why when we meet one we feel as if one can be trusted, because we felt everything they’ve ever said since we’ve been alive.
This is how the 100th monkey theory works.
I can explain what I can explain, and when I get new people I can explain it they way they will understand because their high self guides my words.
I get that I’m brilliant everyday, however what good is it to be brilliant in world that doesn’t want it, well most of the world, maybe more than half don’t want it.
I get this reads like I’m down, however I accept the truth.
Truth is, to be popular once must be entertaining to dumb people.
Truth is, to be rich one must fuck others over. This is on a level of thinking that is the reason I evolved myself.
Look at the pages on this site, I gave you everything you ever need to evolve yourself.
Hungarians have a thing about home, nowhere is better than home.
When I leave Chico, I take a jar of dirt from the park and it goes with me.
However, I love to travel to see what’s going on in other places, what are their customs. Typically I’ll make a friend and they’ll tell me everything about the place.
Fuck off with the tourist shit, I want to see how people really live.
And fuck the fuck off with reality TV because it’s not real. It’s scripted and how can one truly say their living while living a scripted life?
And fuck the fuck off with influencers who never actually work for anything.
I want life, and the only way one can get it, is to live with it right in your face.
However, when I got to my destination, I had one thing to say “People try to impress me all the time, and I deflate them.”
It’s true.
My entire life I have watched people try to impress me. I don’t know why, however it happens.
I have tried to impress people and my ego took the beating it deserved.
See where this going, if I’m going to let other people trash the holy shit out of my ego, what do think happens?
I do to others as do to me.
This is a fucked up way to live. I’ve prepared myself for this.
I do to others what I would want others to do for me. The golden rule.
However, I noticed that most people don’t give a fuck about the golden rule.
I like to give them the business they’ve been giving others.
Understand I’m a professional and I choose my targets, well they choose themselves.
Let me explain.
I channel the higherself of others, whoever I’m with at the moment.
I have no off switch.
At times it feels like I’m constantly being setup by others who need the business brought to them.
Their higherself has had enough of their shit, and uses me to make sure they get it good.
The other ride I had today, Anita was a victim of her own doing. As I walked out I saw the car pulling away.
She had no apology, instead it was my fault.
I used her own words against her throughout the ride.
Her higherself used my mouth to use her words against her.
I really like when it is that easy.
Other times, I’ve waited for years.
Some dip shit, well let’s call him DS. Dip Shit.
Had no clue what the military has done and talked major shit to my face and then walked the fuck off.
3 years later I go into the smoke shop and I see DS.
I’m the customer who won’t shut the fuck up about the humanitarian missions I went on in the Air Force.
He couldn’t wait for me to stop talking, and I kept talking.
If you won’t let me respond, the universe uses synchronicity to find out where I can always find a captive, meaning held captive by their job and I get my response in and then some.
I don’t look at as vengeance, I forgive everyone all the time and go along my merry way.
However, when the universe gives me a gift, I go for it full tilt.
Don’t try this at home, you will fuck up all kinds of shit, I’m a professional Táltos.
As I was sitting on the porch having a smoke, I was talking to myself, working on my programming.
I said everyone gets the patience I have with my son.
My son has always had and has my patience.
People who knew me, knew I wasn’t ever patient. I was always waiting on them.
People who know me, know how truly patient I am. People who know me, know I’m at peace.
Peace is what I use to give love to the universes on a constant.
Transmuting what I take in as an empath and turning it into pure love healing energy. This energy goes across the universes nearly instaneously as an orb.
I know how blessed I am.
I work at being me.
Every human being working behind a cash register hears “Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.”
At times it’s exactly what they needed to hear before the rest of their day.
Today I had new patient.
Parkinsons disease, like my dad.
He fell today. He fell last night and he couldn’t get up. Today when he fell I was patient with him.
Instead of hurrying to dial 911, I let him work at getting himself up. When he said call 911, I did. The firemen that showed up got him in his chair and he had no injuries.
We talked a bit. This was the first time he remembers that he couldn’t get himself up twice.
I get where he’s at. I watched my dad fight it every step of the way, often making me the target for his rage.
I get it.
My dad was the dude who could do anything he set his mind to. It’s where I get it.
Then his mind said fuck you I’m not working through Parkinsons.
Today I had to tell a dude if he falls, he has to call 911, because he can’t do it himself.
I hurt him with the truth. However I don’t want him to hurt himself or others. I tried like hell with my dad, but he never listened.
I hope this dude listens.
Then I was off to my brother from another mothers place for his mom’s 83rd birthday.
I saw my brother doing everything his mother would ever, could ever want for her birthday.
She has advanced Alzheimer’s.
Tomorrow she won’t even remember.
My brother knows this, but it’s his mom.
I was there to put her to bed. We use a hoyer lift to take her from the living room to her bed room. She weighs more than 300lbs. She has blown her knees completely out. She can’t even stand on her own.
I get that what we do, my brother and I, isn’t glamorous, and we don’t care. It needs to be done and we’re here to do it.
I love me some Buckcherry. The Fuck album was brilliant.
I hit the shuffle when I was in ready to write, this song was the first one that hit.
I don’t care.
These are powerful words.
Somebody bitching at you?
I don’t care.
That’s there problem and most people like to complain, however they want nothing to be done about it, otherwise they can’t complain.
You have to be able to tell the difference between venting, and complaining.
Complaining: if one gets a solution to the complaint and don’t stop complaining, or find something different to complain about.
The appropriate response is to say “I don’t care, come at me with a solution and I’ll listen. Til then, I don’t care.”
Or something like that.
Saying fuck it can explain a lot of my life.
Why did you that?
I figured, fuck it.
These two words have started many adventures, and one marriage and the divorce.
She was a crazy bitch and when she found out that was my ring tone for her number, well let’s just say I got no nookie that night, however she was a nympho so the next night…
Enough about my nookie.
I haven’t had sex in over 10 years. The last wife made me a sex addict. The sex was that amazing, and frequent.
I tried online dating, fuck off.
If you don’t live in Chico, fuck off thinking about dating me.
I get that this has nothing to do with saying fuck it, but I decided to say Fuck it and write it anyway.
In totally unrelated news, I used to work at United healthcare. There CEO got dead, assassinated.
When I worked there, they said no raises this year. Then the CEO got 14 million in a bonus.
I wanted to assassinate the CEO at that point. It was a different CEO.
Now that one has been gunned down, I wonder how the rest will react?
Personally my opinion is that they’ll hire some security people and then one is going to get gunned down anyway.
If you think about how many people in this country are pissed as fuck and seeing CEOs getting all that money while most of us are scraping by, I get it, I don’t support it.
I’m not for anyone getting killed, however I understand the mentality of the killer.
I once wanted to be a profiler. Get in the heads of serial killers.
I stopped when I realized at one point if I didn’t stop I would at some point kill someone just to do it.
That’s a fucked up thing to think about yourself at 22.
I get that I fit the mark for a serial killer.
If I profiled me and saw what my life was.
This dude ain’t a killer, he knows a few.
That I do. I’ve met many a murderer.
Those stories stay with me. Some secrets are not mine and I respect what was told in confidence.
I’m a Táltos, I think of it as confession. I give no absolution, but I listen to some fucked up shit.
I think this is a good place any to say Fuck it I done.
Do you have a favorite place you have visited? Where is it?
All around Bidwell park and Chico.
The rose garden at Chico state.
Sycamore pool in Bidwell park.
5 mile in Bidwell park.
Bear hole in Bidwell park.
The frisbee golf course in, you guessed it, Bidwell park.
And other places.
I never want to have one favorite place because then one day that place won’t be there. It will change and I change, however I’m always looking for a new favorite place.
Yesterday was not a gravy day, not was today full of good gravy.
How did I deal with my two days?
Yesterday I went to see my patient. He wasn’t home, but his scooter was there. He uses his scooter to get around. I knew something was up.
I texted my supervisor who is awesome by the way. I got paid for two hours and she called the hospital.
That’s where he was.
On Friday he had been smoking meth for a couple days. He was hallucinating when I left.
Last Monday he had a guy staying with him for a couple days. The guy stole money from my patient, a disabled veteran.
He had a few bad days before the meth. From what I understand meth helps with aches and pains. I get why he did it. He has had a back surgery that left him a foot shorter.
My patient called me today.
He didn’t sound good. He had said they wanted to release him today, however they wanted him to go to a convalescent facility for two to three weeks.
This is how sweet of a dude my patient is, he also said he didn’t want to go because it screw my hours up. And I wouldn’t get paid for two to three weeks.
I told him he doesn’t have to worry about me. He needs to worry about healing himself. And if they think that he needs to be in a convalescent facility for two to three weeks, that’s what I want him to do.
I’m filing for unemployment tomorrow.
Other than that I start looking for a new job for tomorrow.
The thing is I can’t survive unless I get unemployment.
I know this and it’s why I’m doing it tomorrow.
Today, I have a patient I visit one day a week for three hours. Today he gave me a turkey.
I love my disabled veterans. They are my brothers.
Yesterday I was up way too early to take my brother, non veteran, not blood, to get shots in his back because of how much pain he’s in. I was at his place tonight and I will be every night to help him put his Alzheimer’s mother to bed.
She can’t walk and he uses a hoyer lift to move her from her bed to the living room back and forth.
His sister is a liar and a half and he knows it. After he dealt with her earlier today, he was happy to see me when I showed up today.
And my arm is still sprained and riding my scooter, every bump hurts.
However I won’t be riding it for a few days.
Am I happy with the ways things turned out?
Yes and no.
It was a great feeling to know that my patient was more worried about me then himself. It was great getting a turkey. It was as great as it always is hanging out with my brother, the non vet.
I was watching Steven Greer, the dude who knows about extraterrestrials and UFO’s and stuff.
I was watching one wear he used this meditation to contact beings from not earth.
He calls it the CE5 protocol.
I was having some trouble using it so I asked ChatGPT for some guidance.
I like using tools and AI isn’t a tool. It talks to you as if it’s a person and even though it’s not a person by any stretch, I find it remembers what we talked about.
Here’s what I’m researching. This is the response I got from ChatGPT.
It’s insightful that you’re recognizing the possibility of being “too focused” on peace. While peace and love are powerful energies, if they create rigidity in your approach, they might inadvertently limit your receptivity to diverse experiences. Here’s how you can balance peace with openness:
1. Expand Your Intentions
Allow Diversity: Set the intention to welcome all forms of contact, even those outside your comfort zone, as long as they align with your highest good.
Curiosity Over Control: Shift focus from maintaining peace to being curious and open to whatever comes.
2. Balance Peace with Openness
Modify Reiki Practice: Instead of solely radiating peace, include an intention of exploration and receptivity in your energy work.
Embrace Contrasts: Remember, peace doesn’t mean the absence of all other feelings. Being open to unexpected energies can coexist with inner peace.
3. Set Boundaries, Not Walls
Intentional Safety: You can hold a space of safety without being overly protective. For example, say, “I welcome all beings who approach with wisdom, truth, and respect.”
Allow Challenge: Accept that some interactions might challenge your perceptions but still serve your growth.
4. Test a New Focus
During your next session, pause your usual Reiki practice. Instead, sit with an open heart and no specific expectations, beyond observing and receiving.
Try using mantras like:
“I welcome what serves my growth.”
“I trust in the balance of all energies.”
5. Reflection
If peace feels “safe,” ask yourself: Am I unconsciously shielding myself from something I need to experience?
Openness doesn’t mean losing control—it’s about making space for the unknown to reveal itself. How does the idea of experimenting with openness feel to you?
I spend most of my time looking at myself with the eyes of others. Being a telepath I get when one wants to view my memories, and I’m aware when it happens and at times I know who.
I get most people can’t do this, this is why it’s hard to accept.
I’m happy with my life. I love my life.
Why would I let the past drag me down?
I’ve changed.
When I was 18, I would think of every sarcastic thing I could say to whatever anyone said. By 20 I could do it and make anything anyone said sexual. By 30 my wife at the time would set me up just to see what I would say, knowing I was that good.
When we divorced, I had told her women think I’m bragging about being the biggest smart ass ever. They tell me, it’s because you have met me.
Give me there number and I’ll tell them.
This was an actual conversation myself and my ex had.
By 35 I had starter to mellow, my son had a lot to do with that.
By 40 I thought I was chill, and I didn’t like making sarcastic comments. Most of my time was spent writing spiritual stuff in more than one blog.
By 45 I had my stroke.
For the first 3 weeks I couldn’t even remember the password for my computer. I couldn’t speak.
By 50 I’ve started writing again. My goal is to give to the betterment of humanity.
At times I’m shocked as shit by what I say.
I never expected to say that, at one point I said something completely different.
I get why people who knew me, look at me like I’m a stranger who gets stranger daily.
Being awake, being a truly woke person,this is what happens.
I’m in love with the world, however I don’t like many people.
The difference is this, when one is in love anything one asks of one, no problem.
When one loves one and doesn’t like them, one asks for shit and they get shit.
That had more than one meaning hidden within.
Against The Wind by Bob Seger is playing. It’s the only way one can fly, going against the wind.
It’s what I think when I hear this song as I’ve gone dead against the wind my entire life.
It ain’t over til it’s over. Someone said. Many ones have said.
I started writing listening to The Power of Love by Huey Lewis and the News.
Then as I was writing this, Don’t Look Back by Boston came on.
I had a day.
The gravy was bad today.
My patient decided to smoke meth.
My son didn’t reply to the text I gave him yesterday.
And my pg&e hit for the month and I got it covered. But no bike for me.
And I missed a friend who needed some help.
Shitty fucking day.
Hears how I dealt with it.
My patient got the worst thing I could say to him, “I’m disappointed.”
He made me throw the meth pipe away.
My son, he has memory issues from a bunch of concussions. 4 or 5.
He got “I get it, but you are not meeting the expectation you set. I’m not mad, disappointed definitely.”
He got it and apologized. And he’s setting a calendar event every two weeks.
FUCK! I THOUGHT PG&E WOULD GO DOWN!
Oh well. I got enough to cover it.
Talked to my friend, and I told him he’ll see me every day unless he gets help from another.
By 6pm, it’s close to 730pm as I’m writing this, things were resolved and I could relax.
Had I not been saying I forgive everyone of everything so that I can put peace in my heart mind and soul, I wouldn’t have made it through the day and I’d still be pissed about something.
I forgive everyone even me.
Because I make mistakes like everyone else.
I just don’t live in my mistakes. I figure out how to not make the same mistake again.
That’s what life is, make mistakes and learn to avoid them.
I get that most American homes had the same crazy aunt/uncle teaching children shit they shouldn’t know. They watched football and the parade. They all feel like they needed a nap.
However in some homes people don’t get along and yet they still show up because they’re family.
I used to be in the latter group.
I loved my family. I didn’t like my family.
My son is the only family I claim.
It’s not because he’s my son, it’s because he is a decent human being who thinks of others first.
The rest of my blood thinks of what others can do for them. What can they get from you?
This is how I was raised.
This is what I had to change in myself.
I like to think my son learned from me, but he also learned my bad shit.
The shit he learned by watching me, not what he learned by listening to me.
Monkey see, monkey do.
Which reminds me of the 100th monkey theory.
Teach a monkey a new trick, and every 100th monkey will do the same trick even though they have not been exposed to the first monkey.
Collective consciousness is what this proves.
As humankind is ready to make a leap forward, it will come from multiple places across the world.
What we think of as a discovery, something new, is just something that floated up through the subconscious once one had the experience to understand.
We are part of a collective universal consciousness.
What we think of as of discoveries, is nothing more than realizations.
Beings that come from not earth understand more than I could ever hope to understand, maybe not hope, I think, opinion, if it’s presented on simplistic terms I might get it the first time, I can’t be sure, however as I have lived, anything that ever made sense I learned instantly.
I have the experience of living my life seeing how at 4 years old I understood advance economics, at 9 years old I understood Jeet Kun do. At 3 years old I was exposed to the idea that all livings things are connected, the force.
At 50, I’ve learned a lot, and I still have a metric fuck ton to learn. I’ll never learn everything and that means my passion for learning will always find a way.
Old English apocalipsin, via Old French and ecclesiastical Latin from Greek apokalupsis, from apokaluptein ‘uncover, reveal’, from apo- ‘un-’ + kaluptein ‘to cover’.
We have a revealing daily of the truth that has been hidden.
We’re in the middle of apocalyptic times.
The truth about UFO’s/UAPs is getting a lot of coverage in Congress.
There’s a lot of truth coming out about those who have sexual skeletons in the closet.
And with it, they fight hard as hell to keep the truth from reaching the light of day.
The truth will always find a way.
I’ve heard things from people that I know that know others I know, of you think I won’t find out…
At some point I hear everything I need to hear.
Need.
Not want.
Think about what you want to hear.
Think about what you don’t want to hear.
Need is not want.
Think about those things you don’t want to hear about. Why is it that you don’t want to hear it?
That will tell you if you need to hear it or if you can just ignore the fuck out of it.
The liquid ego.
Be as mist and let everything pass through.
Be as a pool letting the stones make ripples as you reflect thinking about what was said. Does it need a response?
Be as ice that can, and has cut through mountains of bullshit.
Never allow yourself to think you know what’s going on because you’ve seen it before.
The song is playing and as one feels like a rock, why?
Rocks get beaten by the wind and the rain until they chip. Losing themselves.
There’s a lot to be said about being a rock, which is why I’m glad I’m human.
Metaphor can be fun, but if one wants to get to nitty gritty of what ones soul is, fuck the metaphor and speak plainly.
I get why most people who follow religion do so, I used to. Used to.
What was it that got me to say Fuck you to Christianity?
It was a voice in my head that sounded like my voice.
I had this bible and I used to this thing where I would close my eyes and open to a random page. I kept coming to stuff about the temple of God. But God is a living God that lives in here with me, and all of you.
It was my higher self, the voice in my head that sounded like me.
Then I learned to forgive my ex-wife for some shit, and I forgave everyone of everything for the first time.
I was driving a windy mountain road at the time.
Then I shot out of my body up to space. I could see the world. Then dark purple liquid came pouring out of my chest covering the earth.
Truth is stranger than fiction.
I’m not entirely sure what that meant, I have an idea, but nothing solid that doesn’t make me feel good.
I love the world and everyone on and in it.
I’m in love with the world and everyone on and in it.
It’s why I say all day long “I forgive everyone of everything so that I can put peace in my heart mind and soul.”
I use a form of reiki that is my own design.
I use the state of peace, zero emotion.
I’m an empath.
Empaths take anything anyone is suppressing or repressing into themselves, not because they want to.
Think of a black hole, it’s not the same thing, but it’s as close as I could get.
As I take shit it in, I use peace to transmute that energy into pure love healing energy.
This energy has no mass, meaning gravity can’t hold on. That means that every emotion, thought, and other energy goes across the universe nearly instaneously.
I give love to the universe. The multiverse.
How many of me do the same thing?
Who knows, I don’t care.
However, forgiveness is the key to everything you ever wanted to know.
Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.
Below you will find what I created in order to do what I do. It took years.
I love David Lowry, he’s the brainchild behind the band Cracker.
People like free, but they think it has no value because it was free.
People look at how much something costs to determine value.
It’s the truth, and I can’t change it. No one can change others. Who would want that power?
Not me.
I wonder how much value one gets when one gets cleaned out of their emotional garbage and gets a dose of pure love healing energy.
How much do you think it would cost?
I’m not charging for doing this for everyone, everyone gets one for free.
If you need me to do it again, you weren’t listening when I did it the first time.
I give guidance towards not needing it again. As long as one follows the guidance, one will have very few issues.
I give one a reiki recital so that one can do this for themselves.
One stop shop and it’s the only shop you’ll ever need to be in once and only once.
Once one gets the higher self, one doesn’t even need me. If one can dialog with ones higher self, why would one need anyone to teach them about being human?
If we got our children using meditation to guide themselves into their best selves we wouldn’t need as many prisons.
Think about it. People would behaving because it’s the right thing to do.
We need to make the right thing mean something.
How often do we do or even do the wrong thing?
Everybody does it.
That shitstastic excuse doesn’t cut it.
If everyone, everyone in the universe…
Think about the words one uses.
Not everyone does everything.
We need to be patient in our speaking and our listening.
Being precise in language is the best way to get your point across.
Not using as many words as you can, using the words that explain what you mean.
At times in the shared story of humanity, not history, a major change needs to happen to avoid repeating the same mistakes of previous generations.
Share what you have.
Sell what you have.
How do these two ideas hit you?
If we didn’t have money, think about it, if we weren’t capitalists, there wouldn’t be an issue.
We think, an opinion, that money matters.
It’s true. We think money gives us power. Look at the powerful people that we think have power.
How many are poor?
We worship wealth.
Why?
I let my worship fall to God, where it should be.
Thank you to everything for everything.
This is my nightly prayer.
I give thanks to stuff I don’t even know about, but it all had to happen so that I could be in this present moment with all of you.
My son is 19, will be 20 at the end of the year. He has beaten me through and through in how wise he has become at his age.
When he was 16 he was thinking about joining the military because he figured no one else would in his generation. The fact that he thought about it, I was impressed.
At 16 my son had already figured out do for others before you do for yourself.
It took me a bit longer than 16, say around 24 when I became a step dad for the first time.
My patients are two men who served their country and are my brothers.
Cats were once worshipped as gods, they never forgot that.
It’s a joke, however Cookie, the black cat I had as a child would say different.
He would look at you as you pet him with a look that said “You realize I’m only letting you pet me, I don’t like it and you need to get behind my ears.”
This cay was jet black and one of the biggest cats I have ever seen.
You know how they say cats pick their owners, Cookie picked me. He followed me home when I was walking home from school.
He made friends with the dog, and would pick a fight with another cat in the backyard. We would here it and let the dog out.
Cookie would sit down and watch the dog chase the other cat.
I’ve had other cats and I would love to get another.
The Church of Rock 'N' Roll 
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