Protection through Right Action

1. Be self-aware and vigilant in your awareness.

1.1. Being aware of yourself includes being aware of the location you find yourself
in and what is going on around you.

1.2. Being Vigilant in your awareness means to not dull senses less you know the
location to be safe for recreation.

The best defense in life one has to avoid harm is to be aware of one’s surroundings
and oneself and the effect the surroundings are having on one.

What makes one think a bar is a safe environment to dull ones senses?

What makes one think any public location is a safe place to dull ones senses?

When ones senses are dulled the possibility of harm self-inflicted or inadvertently
inflicted upon another increases exponentially with the number of ones in a
similar state. Emotional harm often is far more long lasting in the suffering
experienced than physical harm.

If one is to live up to one’s potential and feel safe in life, one need not tempt fate to
teach one a lesson. It is good to take the time to assess the activities and take
precautions to avoid harm and yet still have fun and dull senses as desired for
recreation.

It is good to have other ones that one is going to the location with. It is good to leave with the ones you came with. If one decides to leave with another it is good for one to make sure the ones one came with are aware of what one is doing.

This shared awareness increases safety and security in awareness.

One is responsible for one’s decisions regardless the senses be dulled or sharp as a
tack.

Protection through right action means to do the things one understands reduce the
possibility of harm coming to one or one inflicting inadvertent harm. One will
truly reap what one sows and when one is careless in sowing the reaping has a way
of providing results that encourage one to make different choices in how one sows
in order to change what one reaps.

2. Keep thyself healed

2.1. The greatest enemy is our own pain and suffering. It distorts our view of self
and others as a result.

2.2. If one is not healed one cannot be at one’s full potential.

2.3. When one is healed one has an easier time in read and recognition of a
situation and can better assess oneself and how one can best represent oneself in
any given location or situation.

2.4. As long as conflict exists within there is healing to be done within one.

2.5. Anger is conflict looking for battle to bring an end to the conflict within by
seeking the outer fight.

2.6. When one is healed there is no conflict within and thus no battle to ever be
sought.

Pain can cause one to feel weak, while rage can make one feel strong and it is why
one often covers ones pain in anger. While anger does serve a purpose and one is
allowed to get angry, one should always check oneself and understand why one is
getting angry before ever deciding to do something about it.

One will often find tracking the source of the anger inward will show one was hurt.
Resolving the hurt often leads to resolving the conflict and anger is not needed.

When one seeks to keep one from feeling inwardly conflicted one will always seek
to keep thyself healed. One will avoid seeking outer conflict to resolve the inner
issue when one seeks to resolve all conflict within oneself so that one can be at ones
potential among other ones.

One is always encouraged to take time in solitude to seek inner counsel before
seeking outer counsel to resolve pain and keep thyself healed.

If one has no conflict within there is nothing to protect oneself from in one’s
behavior. Keeping one healed reduces the possibility that one will inadvertently
put oneself in harm’s way or cause inadvertent harm. The right action of
self-healing increases the protection one’s life gives one simply by being one.

3. Patience exercised is patience cultivated.

3.1. It is the patient mind that walks through the steps and makes sure to prepare
for each action as if each was the only action involved in the process.

3.2. In this exercise one learns the value of taking the time to do things right and
misses the challenge of having to start over due to missing a step in the process due to impatience.

3.3. Being patient in action forces one to be patient in thought and allows one to
see the great rewards that are possible when a patient mind is the norm.

More often than not the opposite of patience is wrath. One becomes angry because
things are not happening at the rate that one would prefer.

When things are not moving the first thing one need do is step back and look at
one and everything around the situation that has one feeling as though things
should be moving with a quickness.

Each and everything thing one does produces a result and it is in the results that
show if patience was exercised. When one is diligent in patience in ones work one
produces much higher quality in the results of one’s actions. When one is focused
on producing quality in result of ones actions it produces higher quality in ones
thoughts.

One’s words spoken sow within one as well as other ones. One’s actions sow seeds
within one as well as other ones. Patience allows for better sowing so that one may
reap better.

4. Take time in solitude to run the layers with the mirror turned inward and see
what they saw and feel what they felt.

4.1. One will never catch everything in the moment at the conscious level and
time in review will help one better assess what was achieved and if there are any
further growth opportunities or understandings to be found.

4.2. Look at one from outside oneself in order to get a better view for periods of
inner reflection.

Even when one reaches the Awakened/Enlightened state the conscious mind will
always have interpretation limits. The amount that can be totally understood in the
moment is often small compared to what the moment had to offer. One should
look back at the recent events of one’s life with the intent of finding growth
opportunities that allow one to find wisdom in refining ones projection in times of
solitude.

When one reaches the Awakened/Enlightened state, one often keeps the mirror
turned inward to reflect on what is going on in front of one to see how one can best
serve with one’s presence.

5. Seek growth and understanding and have faith all else will align in ones favor.

5.1. One will always find what one seeks in some form or fashion.

5.2. Know that growth often comes from challenging situations in life and be
prepared to have ones inner strength revealed through adversity on occasion.

5.3. Faith is not faith until it is all one is holding onto.

5.4. When ones faith is tested it is strengthened or destroyed there is no middle
ground.

The Universe conspires with one based on one’s true intent not what one thinks
sounds good. One will meet reflections of what one is projecting and if the
reflections seem confusing and distorted, it is due to one’s own confusion and
distortion in projection.

Strength is not built, it is revealed in life when one overcomes adversity and
obstacles.

Faith is a powerful thing when ones faith is built on experience and not blind.

When one’s faith is all one is holding onto one is forced to walk the talk of that
faith or be destroyed by it.

If one does not walk the talk of one’s faith one is a hypocrite and one’s faith is weak
and can easily be destroyed and will never be strong.

One’s life results will tell one if one has placed ones faith wisely or foolishly. If one
does not like the results one might want to look at what one is putting ones faith in.

One might want to look at whether or not one truly walks one’s talk.

Expect reflections to be direct in calling one out for not walking one’s talk and
challenging one’s faith. When one is not walking one’s talk it creates conflict within
and one will find opportunity to confront that inner conflict through the
reflections that keep popping up in one’s life.

Faith is built on the results of the
walk not the talk.

6. Work ones process.

6.1. Know ones best steps for inner conflict resolution.

6.2. Know ones process for self-healing.

6.3. Own ones decisions and one’s responsibility to oneself to reach ones full
potential.

One develops over time a process for dealing with inner conflict whether one is
aware of it or not. One will not always be able to resolve conflict without
confrontation. It is how one decides to confront in the outer world to resolve the
conflict that defines one’s character in the eyes of other ones.

How other ones see one is who one is from the other one’s perspective. What one
shows leaves the story that will be told of one.

Healing can only be done when conflict is resolved within. As long as the conflict
remains one is not completely healed or has become wounded once more. One
will always face new pains and the wounds they create.

The basic concept of self-healing is for one to find a view that explains the situation
to one that allows one to change the emotion attached to the situation. This
requires an empathetic understanding of other ones involved in the situation that
has created pain.

Did the other one intend to do harm?

If one was the other one would one have known harm had been inflicted based on
ones reaction in the moment?

Every issue in life is a unique situation no matter how similar it might look to past
events. Never allow one to think one has seen this before and jump ahead in
resolution.

If one feels one’s process is not working during periods of inner counsel, seek outer
counsel to assist in clearing up ones view.

7. You are your power.

7.1. One is as unique as one is similar and each one has unique power no matter
how similar that power is to another.

7.2. One is ones power and one’s power is wielded in every thought and action.

7.3. One is great power given form and if one does not own ones power it will be
wielded by others against one.

Who one is, is the definition of one’s power in living. One is refining and changing
what ones power is based on the choices one makes in life. That power is the
expression of self also known as the ego or ones identity.

One’s ego is one’s power.

Without ego one is a powerless slave to all ones.

Ego and identity are the same thing and required for one care to for oneself.

One’s power is as individual as one is in expression of oneself through emotional
attachment which builds ones identity or ego expression of self.

Power is not about being powerful and dominating with one’s power.

One who seeks to wield power over others will have issues in life repeatedly. How
one wields one’s power is part of one’s story as it is told by other ones. One’s story
told by other ones will impact one’s life regardless of accuracy.

Protection through right action can only be achieved when one is intent on healing
oneself and works one’s process in diligent effort and application of one’s process
to reach and maintain ones full potential. If one seeks retribution of harm done
one is not healed and is creating a cycle of harm in living.

Protection through right action allows for other ones to make mistakes as well as
one and find forgiveness from self even if never received from others. Forgiveness
of self only works if one acknowledges one inflicted harm. Forgiveness of others
only works when one truly lets it go.

When one owns one’s power, one understands the impact one can make in the life of another one in any moment shared.
If one doesn’t take time to see how to wield one’s power best or is afraid of using
one’s power other ones will sense if not see this and take one’s power and use it
against one to attempt to control one.

8. If you teach your power or share, change your power.

8.1. At times examples of one’s power must be given to give instruction to
another and one can always refine ones power to keep from having it used against
one.

When one teaches and/shares what one’s power is, one also teaches and/or shares
one’s vulnerabilities and weaknesses.
One who is healthy of mind body and spirit never seeks to make clones of one and
one will refine one’s power or expression of self as needed to retain ones sense of
individualism.
Not all ones will have the integrity one does and might decide to use what one
shares to attempt to control one. One should not be in a state of expecting this to
happen and one should choose wisely who one teaches and/or shares one’s power
with.
Protection through right action is about one owning all aspects of one and one’s
life. It is about self-discipline in thought and action in wielding the power one is.
Patience creates self-discipline.

When one is able to discipline oneself without need of other ones to point it out to
one, one has mastered oneself and needs little to no protection in life. One’s life
and the way one represents oneself gives no other ones cause to inflict harm on
one and one avoids putting oneself in harm’s way.

The power of protecting one’s life begins and ends in the choices one makes in
who one is.

9. What could go right?

9.1. The only question one need to ask when facing a decision.

9.2. Anything less is a fear based decision on ones part in hopes to avoid what
one thinks could go wrong.

9.3. Setting the intent for what can go right allows one to have those things
become probabilities instead of possibilities for one’s life.

One not need be overly optimistic however the beginning of being pragmatic
allows one to ask this question. When one sets the intent from within for looking
for the options that can assist one in moving forward, one will move forward.

When one allows fear of what could go wrong be a part of the intent, one slows
one’s progress and one can begin to feel stuck.
Intent creates one’s thoughts and actions.

When one sets the intent to do it right
and looks for those options, one finds them easily enough. At times what can go
right for one is to drop the influence of one or more other ones in order to propel
one forward. One must not fear walking any length of life alone.

10. Observe Karmic Law in thought process.

10.1. It’s how existence works
One will always reap what one has sown. In this to attain one’s desire one must
become that desire. One’s projected self must match the life one wishes to live.
One is connected to all ones and each one is a mirror reflection for one another. In
order to change the mirrors one must change from within. One cannot attract
other ones, one can only become a projection that allows other ones to reflect one
back to oneself.

This is the Law of Reflection.

Faith without works is a fools quest at cheating existence.

When one toils towards ones goal with patience and faith, one is persistent and
ones sowing yields a greater reaping.

One understands that all that exists is here and now. If one does not let go of the
past one cannot move forward. Ones projection of self will always show what one is holding onto based on who and what the reflections remind one of.

One will repeat events until one makes changes within oneself showing one has
learned one’s lesson. It is the patient mind that reaps the greatest reward
understanding the greatest reward is one that makes the greatest impact in one’s
life that allows one to be at one’s full potential.

11. Seek wisdom in all before you.

11.1.The search of wisdom is to seek to understand.

11.2. To seek knowledge alone is a fool’s quest that never ends or pays off.

If knowledge is power, wisdom is understanding. Wisdom understands which
knowledge is applicable to one’s life and which knowledge to ignore as if it does not
exist. When one seeks wisdom one seeks the simplest answer.

Complexity is the small mind attempting to look wise. Simplicity is the key to unlocking wisdom and great understanding.

When one achieves understanding one sees the simplicity in all things.

This is the Enlightened view.

12. Be Meek.

12.1. Power used as power is needed only.

One is great power given form and one’s power is not always needed.

The wise seek to be meek due to understanding it takes every type of power to
create the shared reality that is best for the sum. One understands that the power
that flows through one must be taken from other ones. All ones are connected and
power cannot be increased in any other way.

When one is meek one does not seek power, one allows power to flow as power is
needed. In this one can become absolutely powerful, however only if absolutely
needed. To seek power corrupts the mind and creates disease within the soul. This
will become manifest in the body.

Why does one need to be powerful right now?

What power would one seek and why?

Does the power one seeks serve one’s life alone or does it serve one to better serve
the sum?

If one aims to serve the sum, one will be filled with power as needed and it will
never need be sought by one.

This is the essence of Protection through Right Action and Psychospirilosophy the Martial Art of Thought.

13. Be of service.

13.1. See a need fill a need.

13.2. See a need that one cannot fill and one can still bring attention to the need
to ensure it gets taken care of.

As independent as one can be in thought all ones are interdependent on all other
ones to live.

It is a shared reality and all ones share a responsibility to self to be of service to the
needs around them.

One serves one’s own needs when one serves the needs of another. One does not
seek to give into every want of other ones, one seeks to meet the needs one is
capable of meeting for other ones. Needs one cannot do anything about one still
usually has a good idea of who to tell or what direction to point another one in.

To turn a blind eye to the needs of another is to allow other ones to ignore the
needs of one.

14. Be patient in achieving understanding what need that you can best serve with
your presence.

14.1. One is not always the one to be in action or speech and at times it is best
for one to observe and take it in.

14.2. When one is focused on observation one has more to study and learn
from in solitude later.

14.3. In patience one can better assess if words and/or action from one will
enhance or detract from the experience the other ones are sharing with one.

14.4. One is part of the shared experience with the other ones and each one has
a role to play in each now shared experience.

14.5. A patient mind that is patient to speak or act is often welcomed to many
shared experiences that promote ones growth among other ones.

14.6. Even alone ones words and actions have impact on other ones and the
shared reality shared by all ones.

To be better able to identify between need and want, one often must take time to
listen and ask questions. This will reveal the true need and how it can best be
served by one. At times what is needed is for one to simply listen and acknowledge.

When one starts to see memories from one’s life as the other one speaks, this
shows one understands what the other one is going through.

What did one need then?

It takes deliberate patience to allow other ones to explain and to ask clarifying
questions to ensure one understands what one is being told. When things are
unclear one asks questions to find clarity. At times it is lack of clarity that has
caused the other one to be in need. At times asking questions can help the other
one figure it out.

One sums up what one has heard to check understanding and give acknowledgement.

In listening one better prepares oneself to be what is needed by the other one/s.

A patient mind seeks the most compassionate way to give ones honest feelings and
insights. One who lies or says nothing does so in cowardice.

All ones are connected and all ones will be affected by all ones.

It is a shared reality this is an unavoidable fact of life.

Since all ones are connected, one will have impact on ones that one will never
meet. This fact must be acknowledged and embraced if one is to truly live a life
that offers one any protection from harm.

Pain filled life experience will happen in one’s life until one learns this simple
truth.

15. Self-discipline builds patience.

15.1. If one requires discipline for any source other than one, one has failed to
reach ones potential and is often in need of healing.

15.2. When one is self-disciplined in all areas one is less careless and less likely
to inadvertently cause harm to oneself or another one.

One who does not discipline oneself will experience much pain in life and inflict
much harm.

If one does not manage oneself to be at optimum in social engagement the
probability that one will cause harm is high. One’s self-discipline allows one to
enjoy recreational activities and dulling of the senses based on understanding the
potential harm and preparing for the event accordingly.

If one refuses to manage oneself one is asking other ones to put up with one and
will have trouble finding ones who will.
When one is in need of healing one will often act out to bring attention to oneself
and one’s need. One may not be aware one is acting out. This is when one needs
another one to say something to one so that one may reengage one’s
self-discipline.

One is human and will have moments when the idea of self-discipline becomes a
foreign concept. This is OK. One is allowed and even encouraged to engage in
periods of indulgence that are occasional and not habitual. It is in habitual loss of
self-discipline that one often does the greatest harm to oneself and to other ones.

16. To not make oneself into ones full potential is a failure to serve the sum.

16.1. One’s life is ones gift to all one encounters.

16.2. One has the power to make a great impact in even the shortest of
encounters and when one is at less than ones full potential the risks for harm being
done to one or another one increase to probability instead of possibility even if
one is asking what can go right.

One is not God’s gift to the world, one makes oneself a gift to the ones one interacts
with by being at one’s full potential. That gift often goes unnoticed if one is doing it
right.

One does not become one’s potential to show off, one does it to be of best service
to the sum with what one is capable of. When one’s intent is to be of best service to
the sum one will become one’s full potential.

There is no excuse for not living up to one’s potential. The only reason to not live
up to one’s potential is fear. When one is at ones full potential one makes no excuse
for one’s behavior. One does not issue harm as a manner of being and one does not
treat others with the cruel intent of tearing them down. When one is not at ones
full potential the probability of facing outer conflict to resolve the inner conflict
one is ignoring is high.

Cynicism is the opposite of reaching ones potential and being of assistance to
others ones reaching their potential.

Realism does not allow one to reach ones full potential only to accept what is.

Optimism is for fools and children who are the needed dreamers of the world.

Pragmatism uses a little of all three for one to allow one to find the wisest course of
action and allows one to make changes for what will be while accepting what is.

It takes a pragmatic view to understand ones power and how one can wield the full
potential of that power in service to the sum.

17. Negotiate all conflict and give warning to appropriate parties when it is seen by
your eyes.

17.1. Unless one serves in the function of protecting the populace from harm as
a matter of civic duty and position in the community recognized by the
community, report to those who serve that function and observe only.

17.2.Interfere if no other course is available.

17.3.Understand interference even with the best of intent can put one in greater
harm’s way once the ones who serve the function of protecting the peace arrive
until the situation is resolved.

17.4.Say something even if one knows it will fall on deaf ears and then walk
away.

17.5. When one bears witness to one doing harm to oneself or another one to
remain silent is to allow the act of harm being inflicted to be seen as acceptable in
one’s eyes.

17.6. When one says it once and walks away one plants a seed and who knows
how many times that seed may need to be planted to grow.

One is not a superhero or a crime fighting vigilante if one desires to stay out of jail
oneself. At times it is as easy as one telling a bouncer at a bar what one has seen.

18. Give to one as one receives and give to one to maximize what one is able to give
of and from oneself without incurring harm to oneself.

18.1. To be at full potential one must be able to care for oneself in order to be of
best service to one’s life and other ones.

What are ones needs to be at optimum?

19. Never train with combat in mind.

19.1. Train to make the body fit.

19.2. When one trains with combat in mind one seeks to test oneself in combat
and will find such tests.

When one engages in sparring one allows all who are seeing this activity to find
ones holes.

When one trains with combat in mind one is setting the intent to use the training one is putting oneself through. That intent will create opportunity.

One who seeks combat does so out of insecurity. When one is secure in oneself one
feels no need to validate oneself or ones skills.

One trains without emotion to train
muscle memory and for fitness and self-discipline.

20. Seek all routes to avoid combat however be prepared if it cannot be avoided to
protect yourself and the innocent and weak.

20.1. One’s intent creates ones thoughts and actions.

One can seek a life of peace and pacifism and still have violence enter one’s life and
one has a responsibility to oneself to be able to defend oneself without weapons.

When one trains with the intent of pacifism it allows one to be able to defend
oneself absent the intent to test oneself.

21. Never enjoy combat.

21.1. Anything one enjoys can be become addictive.

Addiction is unhealthy to one.

22. Never enjoy combat.

22.1. Combat for any reason other than defense shows a total lack of maturity
and is harmful to the sum.

All ones are connected and all harm one does harms all.

23. Never enjoy combat.

23.1. Never should pleasure be taken from causing harm.

When one takes pleasure in causing harm one is not well and in need of counseling
immediately.

24. Practice gratitude in speech and action.

24.1. Giving thanks gives one more opportunities to find more in life to be
grateful for.

24.2.Remember to thank yourself for what you do to make sure you can give
more and better of and from yourself.

24.3. Self-care is the priority in any life as a lack of self-care requires one to be
cared for.

24.4. If one is to ever reach ones potential one must be able to care for oneself.

What one practices becomes instinct in one’s life. When one is in the habit of
giving thanks as one finds things to be grateful for it sets one in the mindset to find
these opportunities. What one seeks one will find in some form or fashion.

25. What could go right?

25.1. Keeping ones options open does not mean one cannot eliminate options
one works to avoid in life.

Psychospirilosophy the Martial Art of Thought is not about combat, it is about
finding every way to avoid combat and to allow combat to be an option of
self-defense or defending the weak and innocent in times when no other option is
available and all other courses of action have failed.

One should always be grateful that one lives a life that keeps one from violence in
action. Disagreements happen and violence in speech will happen, however it
never has to degrade to physical violence.

One who lives with the idea of Pacifism cannot eliminate the possibility of violence
coming to them anyway and should be prepared to defend oneself. To study
self-defense and other Martial Arts is not an exercise in violence as most systems
involve self-discipline and the concept that what one is taught is for self-defense
only. To seek combat is frowned upon in true martial arts in general while
exceptions do exist.

Protection through right action begins and ends with intent. If one has intent to
find violence one is not protecting one’s life by the way one lives one’s life.

26. Extend empathy with a patient mind to be the reward that always reaps greatly.

26.1. Empathy is to care as if it was one.

26.2. When one let’s oneself see from the others view it creates understanding.

26.3. Understanding is the wisdom you seek.

26.4. The reward of growth and understanding is priceless.

Too often one will be tuned out by other ones and this is a lack of empathy or
caring about one and why what one is saying is important to one. This behavior is
rude, disrespectful and classless and inflicts harm.

When one takes a moment to see oneself as the other one it creates understanding
of what the other one is attempting to convey.

If one never attempts to see as the
other one/s in one’s life one will find friction consistently in life and harm will be
done by one and by others to one.

When one cares for another as oneself, patience comes easier. If one does not care
for another one as one cares for oneself patience will be difficult at best.

When one seeks to be at ones full potential one understands the value of shared
growth experiences between one and another one. One seeks in life as a student
who is humble in learning however not so humble as to forget that one has things
to teach also. Larger groups raise the probability of a retarding of growth. One is
limited by the lowest intellect of the group.

What one will reap from patience and empathy is many priceless shared growth
experiences and companionship that is always welcomed.

27. Choose doors to reopen with great care and a patient intent.

27.1. Everything changes however it is not always a change that is good for one
to be around.

27.2. Giving others the opportunity to grow and re-enter one’s life is a gift one
gives to oneself.

One closes door in life to protect one’s life and what one wants one’s life to be.
It is wise to hear out ones one has previously cut out of one’s life.

If one still feels one from one’s past is still not a good influence in one’s life, lock
the door and deadbolt it.

At times the door takes one back to experiences that one once decided to leave
behind and on occasion one may find as one has grown some experiences will be
different and worth opening one’s life to.

28. Some doors are better never opened.

28.1. In the mind each door in the dark is an exploration of possibility.

28.2. Every choice in life for a new experience opens a new door.

The dark is as sacred as the light is divine. It is in the sacred dark one refines the
light one shows the world.

Behind some doors are things one will do if the right opportunity presents itself.

Behind some doors are things one might think about however never do.

Behind some doors are the things one never even wants to think about as these
things cause harm to one even in thought.

29. Never be afraid to take a peek of what’s on the other side to see if it might lead
to something worth exploring.

29.1. If you can peer through the keyhole before entering, do so to prepare
yourself for what lay on the other side.

29.2. Let yourself feel what’s there more than you see what might be there.

29.3. If you can imagine what it might be like and you don’t like it, don’t open
the fucking door.

It is good for one to contemplate the types of experiences one desires to have in
life and understand why one desires those experiences. It is good for one to have a
good idea of the experiences one desires to avoid in life so one can behave
accordingly throughout life.

30. Do not put oneself in harm’s way without patient consideration of all other
available options.

30.1. The choice to take on harm should be the last resort.

If one steps up to defend others the probability of one being harmed in some form or fashion rises. Before stepping up to make oneself the target, make sure one has a
good understanding of what one is defending other ones from.

31. Know you will endure harm in life however allow oneself to reflect inward and
not mirror and project the damage taken.

31.1. Shit happens and one will inadvertently place oneself in harm’s way.

31.2. Learn from the experience and learn to avoid those situations to reduce
putting oneself in harm’s way.

31.3. Heal the harm one takes on or it will spread from one to harm others.

“Life is pain Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.” The
Princess Bride.

Even in writing this it is acknowledged that there is no way to eliminate harm from
one’s life. One over time learns to deal with it and resolve it in healthy ways to avoid continuing the cycle. The most common harm one inflicts is the harm that was once inflicted on one. This happens when one does not heal from the harm done and instead one looks for retribution through continuance of the harmful behavior that one has decided is OK as the circumstances match up.

One’s who refuse to heal harm done to them often embraces cynicism.

Everything and everyone becomes the enemy to them and therefore they create a
life that is designed for lashing out. This is the life of a cynic. Always looking for
the next thing or one to tear down.

32. Seek the intent behind the words and actions to better understand words and
actions.

32.1. At times understanding the intent behind words and actions that cause
harm can lead to healing.

32.2. At times seeking the intent behind words and actions can keep harm from
being done.

What one set of words means to one can have a different metaphorical meaning to
other ones. Each one sees things slightly different to extremely different based on
each one’s experience and level of conscious awareness. Exercising patience to
better understand the personal metaphors of other ones can make communication
easier.

33. Refine one’s projection based on location and proceed accordingly in thought
and action.

33.1. Does one need to stand out in this location and why?

33.2. What is the benefit if one silently observes at this location?

33.3. Why does one desire to bring ones presence to this location?

One should ask oneself is one is in search of validation or if one knows oneself to
be valid. In understanding one’s answer to this question of validation one will find
the understanding for the answers to the questions above. One in search of
validation will never find that desire to be satiated until it can be satiated by one for
oneself.

34. Build your faith into something you can tear down and re-establish at will.

34.1. Anything built can be destroyed.

34.2. Life will test ones faith endlessly.

34.3. Sometimes the best defense of faith is to let it go.

34.4. If one can choose to let go, one can choose to take hold once more.

34.5. When faith becomes a matter of choice one can have faith in many things
and many ones.

34.6. Build faith based on ones understanding of one and one’s current location
in life.

What one puts faith in is a personal choice of the one individual and should be made based on one’s experiences as an individual. Shared experiences can be faith building exercises however it can be damaging to one to only seek the group experience. One is often tested without the group and it is one’s faith being tested not the group’s faith.

One’s spiritual life and the connection to spiritual guidance can always be found
within one. One should never trust any who even suggests otherwise. When one
has trouble listening to the inner guidance or it is unclear one should seek outer
guidance and one’s spiritual choices in life will often guide one to guidance that fits
with their chosen spiritual life in presentation.

35. Learn other ones metaphors yet retain one’s individual expression.

35.1. Learning other ones metaphors is learning other ones faith and cannot be
done while tightly gripping one’s own.

35.2. Allow what resonates to be evaluated for addition to one’s individual
expression and allow for the experience to reveal possible subtractions.

35.3. Be fluid in ones ego expression of self, which is one’s chosen identity.

35.3.1. Be as mist when it is wise to allow all to pass through and take no root.

35.3.2. Be as a pool when it wise to reflect and allow pebbles to cause ripples
within you.

35.3.3. Be as ice when it is wise to solidify ones ego expression and claim ones
existence in the moment.

There is an absolute truth to each and every thing in existence and each of those
truths have infinite expressions using infinite metaphors.

One’s faith can close one’s mind.

When one loosens one’s grip one can easier see how the metaphors may be
different however the same truth is being expressed.

Personal truth is a lie.

Personal view of a universal truth is what one has.

The truth is not personal it simply is.

One’s personal view and the choices one makes in what one attaches emotion to is
what defines one’s ego expression of self. This is one’s identity. Without an ego one
is a slave to all around and has no individual expression. One is a clone of whatever
is around one.

It takes experience and achieved wisdom in learning from experience to understand when to let all pass through yet acknowledge it was heard. That same wisdom will tell one when to let it sink in and have an effect on one. The same wisdom will tell one when to project one’s feelings on the subject into the
discussion.

The discussion never ends, even though the participants change from time to time.
Protection through right action means understanding at times the right action is to
not let one be affected by one’s environment. It takes wisdom to know when this is
right action or acts of cowardice. Every situation in life is unique and no general
rules can ever truly apply.

This structure is a loose structure that asserts one will always be responsible to
oneself for one’s choices and understands that one’s choices will affect other one’s
lives and one will be held accountable in life for that effect.

One will always reap what one sows whether one wants to or not. One will always
be trapped in a room of mirrors based on one’s projection. If one wants to move on
one must change what one is projecting to allow one to move another room of
mirrors.

All ones are connected and no one can attract another one. One can only become
the matching projection to other ones in various shared views. Projections will
never be perfect mirror reflections of each other no matter how many views are
shared.

36. Spend a lot of time outside.

36.1.Why not?

A walk in the grass barefoot can do much.

Sitting by a creek or a lake or river or on
the beach for a while can do much. A walk in the woods through or a field or anywhere there isn’t cement can do much.

37. Meditate daily.

37.1. Why not?

Meditation assists one in centering oneself and dealing with the stress of life.

Meditation aids one in hearing the inner voice for guidance. Meditation sessions
depending on intent set for session can aid one in many ways.

One who does not meditate will not find inner peace. In meditation one teaches
oneself to develop and maintain this inner peace by listening to the inner voice as
it guides.

38. Be mindful of the body and listen well.

38.1. The body will guide diet and motion if it is listened to.

38.2. At full potential one need not think only allow oneself to be guided to what is best for one’s daily health.

General rules of health often do not apply to all ones.

All ones are similar yet different enough to be unique. One’s blood type and genetic history can play a role into the diet that is best for one regardless what other sources have historically said.

Ones cravings for food will tell one what the body wants for optimum health.

The same can be said for basic exercise for daily health. Not all ones need to be
able to run marathons or jump all over buildings and other such activities that
require much more than the needed daily exercise.

When one is at full potential one is guided by the flesh to care for the flesh in healthy ways.

As always moderation and self-discipline are essential in all areas of life in order to be at ones full potential.

39. See androgyny unless it serves a purpose.

39.1.Gender is for romance and sex.

39.2. If the moment is not about romance or sex it serves no purpose for one to
see anything other than one.

39.3. When one unifies both male and feminine energies within one becomes
one within and genderless unless it is needed for romance or sex.

When one unifies both feminine and masculine energies within, one becomes less
concerned with one’s own gender and one lives to be a decent human being
regardless of gender. Gender roles apply limits to one and when one sees gender
one applies limits to other ones. The only activity in life that requires one to see
gender is romantic relationships. When one lives to personify gender one degrades
the other gender to validate one’s choice.

Personifying gender often leads one to being seen as an object of desire as one is
setting the intent in one’s life to be on the constant seek of romance whether one
consciously knows it or not.

Only in unifying both masculine and feminine energies within does one become
whole in and of oneself.

It is naive and willful ignorance to allow oneself to be blinded that gender serves
purpose beyond romance and sex.

One is striving to be a better human.

40. Never be afraid to share your observation however offer no judgment.

40.1. Another view often provides clarity to confusion.

40.2. One is hearing both sides while both sides are trying to be heard.

40.3. Offering ones observations can be of great assistance in reducing the probability of harm being done and increase the probability of understanding being achieved.

It is a fine line between observation and judgment. Observation speaks to what is
and possible outcomes. Judgment speaks to what should be and offers
condemnation.

41. Judge thyself alone.

41.1. It’s how one keeps oneself from becoming a hypocrite.

41.2. It’s how to manage one’s own behavior without need of having it pointed
out.

41.3. Be honest in looking at one to understand why one feels judged by others.

In life one will judge others. It’s an unavoidable part of being human. One who
never judges oneself will never understand why one works to avoid judging others.

42. An open mind led by an open heart will lead to wisdom.

42.1. Logic assists in explaining why one feels what one feels about any one
thing one cares about.

42.2. When one’s mind is closed one cannot feel ones heart and one will never
find wisdom and never know love.

42.3. An open heart allows one to feel ones effect.

42.4. An open heart allows one to love and be loved.

42.5. A mind open to the heart will be guided by love through love in love.

A closed mind has deaf ears and blind eyes.

An open heart sees beyond what the eyes could ever see and hears more than the
ears could ever hear.

One with an open mind and an open heart will experience pain in life, this is
unavoidable. It’s in keeping the heart and mind open that one’s finds the wisest
ways to deal with pain in the moment to resolve the issue and heal thyself. Once
one is closed off no healing can be done and one will hold the pain and the pain
will grow and be seen in one’s behavior in a myriad of ways. The most common is
one will develop anger issues and lash out at even those attempting to assist one.

43. Fuck fear.

43.1. Is the opposite of love and will destroy one and one will do much harm in
that destruction.

Fear is the great manipulator. Fear is what is used to get one to do what other ones
want. Other ones will use ones fear against one to get one to comply with what one
would otherwise ignore. The marketing industry is built on the premise of creating
a fear of lack of acceptance in order to convince one that one needs what the
manipulators are selling.

As soon as one is told to do it another one’s way or acceptance will be difficult at
best, one is being abused into submission.
This is the art of Marketing, advertising and propaganda.

The art of subjugating the mind of other ones and bending or breaking their will to
enforce compliance.

44. Courage is saying fuck it I am doing it anyway.

44.1. Fear will test one.

44.2. The greatest of all achievements are realized once fear is overcome.

When one ignores fear and becomes the resistance that persists one will
accomplish great things in life. There is no other way to accomplish great things in
life. Ones who never strives to break the mold will never see greatness in the results
of life.

45. What could go right?

45.1. This sets the mindset for fear to rarely appear in ones thought process.

45.2. This develops fearlessness.

45.3. This makes it easy to say fuck it.

Ones with the greatest tales to tell often find the last words said in making a difficult
decision to resemble “Fuck it, I’m doing it.”

There is a power in the words “Fuck it” that once embraced lead to freedom and
allow one to be as great in action as they have been in thought regardless the
obstacles in front of them.

One who lives in fear does not protect one’s life.

One who lives in fear destroys one’s life and the lives of other ones in more ways
than one can imagine.

46. Speak well to live well.

46.1. True Majick lies in every word one speaks that is one’s ever weaving spell
that creates ones path and adds to the shared reality.

46.2. Talk mad shit and deal with mad shit

46.3. What one projects is what will reflect back at one less one meets a master.
Magic or magick is about ritual and deities and spells and Majick is simply understanding every word one speaks goes in as well as out and one sets the path
one will walk with one’s talk. This is why self-talk is the most important talk in
one’s life. What one says after the word “I” or in what one defines in using the word
“My” and when one steps up and says “Me” these define your ego representation of
self and program one’s view of life, existence and most things and oneself.

Every word after the words “I am” is one defining the state of one’s being. Who one
says one is, is exactly who one becomes if not already exists as. How one talks about
one’s self creates self-validation or a desire to seek validation. The difference is
experience that builds faith in oneself to know oneself to be valid as one speaks and
defines oneself for oneself and other ones.
This projection of self and everything about whom and what that self is adds to the
shared reality of all ones.

If one goes around with a chip on one’s shoulder in the way one speaks, one will
have that chip knocked off frequently and one’s life will feel as though it is an
endless struggle. This mindset can cause paranoia to set in and have many adverse
effects in ones attempts to build personal relationships with other ones. Not all fights are physical in their violence and when one speaks with violence in one’s
language one invites that projection of violence to be reflected back at one often so
one can resolve the conflict within.
When one meets one who has mastered oneself one will never see a mirror
reflection.

47. Seek counsel as the need is felt.

47.1. The moment one is unsure it is time to seek counsel.

Life has confusing moments and in those times it is wise to seek counsel before
making a decision to do something about it.

48. Seek counsel within until the outer seek is needed to check oneself before
wrecking oneself.

48.1. All one needs of oneself from oneself resides in oneself.

48.2. A mirror will reflect one back to one and can assist one in being clear in
ones thought process.

All ones possess the capability to hear the inner voice that is one’s connection to
the divine regardless of metaphor used to define the divine for one. When one learns to seek within to hear the voice within one rarely needs to seek counsel outward. At times one’s own inner voice can be difficult to hear for a myriad of reasons and one is encouraged to have one or ones in one’s life that one can seek counsel from when one can’t figure it out on one’s own.

Even when one hears the inner voice loud and clear at times one will desire to
bounce it off another one for further clarity and possible exploration.

49. Know wisdom by hearing and be blind to its source.

49.1. Who cares who said it, does it have value in and of itself.

49.2. Evaluate the source when what is heard causes confusion.

When what one hears registers as wise it is the wisdom of the words one is using to
refine oneself not the personality of another one. When one becomes interested in the source of the wisdom one can find things in anyone’s past that would cause one to question not the words but the source of them and therefore question the validity of the words.

If what is heard is causing confusion, it is often due to the emotional state of the
source and further questions such as “why” become paramount in understanding why one is saying what one is saying.

50. Feel wisdom with a deaf ear and a blind eye to see through all the bullshit.

50.1. An open heart rejects deception and will feel it true.

A Heart Chakra open and functioning at optimum will feel any deception in any
interaction.

51. Set the intent to be the individual living form of love that is the core of ones
being.

51.1. The free will to be the individual one was born to be is one’s power.

51.2. This power is the ultimate power in the universe.

One will either be a being of fear or love in the moment. When one sets the intent
to be a being of love one cannot tolerate to see long suffering inflicted on other
ones. One will speak out and take action to end the long suffering being inflicted on
one or other ones. One will confront one who creates long suffering in the lives of
other ones when one is a being of love.
One’s individual expression of self is what one uses to protect one from influences
that create long suffering. When one makes it known that the creating of long
suffering for other ones is totally unacceptable one’s view is added to the shared reality and other ones will become less tolerant of ones who create long suffering.

The power to have an impact in the shared reality is a power shared by all ones.

There is no greater power than the power of free will. It is one’s choice to create long suffering or bring an end to it. One who turns a blind eye to long suffering takes part in creating it.

52. Be true to you.

52.1. Full potential cannot be lived any other way.

On who makes compromises to fit in or find acceptance creates long suffering
within one that is often accompanied by self-loathing. One will remain in conflict
and find confrontation frequently.

53. Know your skills and master them.

53.1. All ones have natural talents ones are born with.

53.2. Exploration of those born talents is ones purpose in becoming one and full
potential cannot be lived if these talents are not put to use.

To not explore one’s born talents will cause suffering in one’s life. One’s born
talents assist one in creating purpose for one’s life.

54. Master yourself and your skills are mastered.

54.1. Mastering the one that one is in thought and action guides one through mastery of one’s born talents making them honed skills.

When one looks within for guidance to master oneself one will be guided to ones
who can assist in this endeavor. When one has mastered oneself one will rarely
reflect the shared reality and one will frequently project into the shared reality.

One’s at full potential one will have a greater impact on the shared reality.

One’s who use manipulation to gain influence in the shared reality create long
suffering. These ones operate in fear not love.

If one’s endeavors can only succeed
through behavioral manipulation, one seeks to create long suffering whether one is
aware of it or not.

If the simple truth doesn’t get it done one is not at one’s full potential and is offering substandard goods and services and is in a state of long suffering.

When one has mastered oneself one will not accept deception from any source
regardless of title and function or situation one finds oneself in. One cannot master
oneself without total honesty in all aspects of one’s life. There is no other way to unify mind body and spirit. There is no other way to unite feminine and masculine energy within one.

One masters oneself when one can be honest in every expression of one from one’s
core.

One cannot master one’s skills with being able to be honest with one what those skills are.

One who relies on other ones to train one in one’s skills will never master
them until one breaks the mold of the training.

One is a living work of art and one’s life is a performance art piece that never ends.
When one masters oneself one becomes a living master piece.

Own it

Over the last few weeks as I have been focusing my attention on the fictional books I am writing and my autobiography, I have all but stopped participating in social media. Here’s why.

Someone like myself who is something of a truth seer is not welcome most places. There is a shift in consciousness going on around the world and there are a lot of people working to cash in on it.

They have their books that encourage you to take their classes and spend time with them in session and make sure you get their prepackaged steps to enlightenment or awakening or activating your DNA or whatever which one is calling it. There are the stores that all look like they bought the same store starter kit.

These people disgust me. These people are doing more to inhibit your growth than they are to empower you to grow. These people hate me. Here’s why.

As a truth seer I shred the veil of delusion and deception. Read this piece on Reiki and see why you never need to take a single Reiki class and that Reiki certification is one of the biggest scams on Earth. Reiki, Mediatation and Holographic Universe and the Psychospirilosophy view

Life really is much simpler than this new industry of self appointed authority would lead you to believe.If they told you the truth they would have nothing to charge you for. It would kill some of the traveling festivals who are filled with people there to show you how to be more spiritual.

First what does it mean to be spiritual and live a spiritual life?

It’s accepting that you are a spirit wrapped in flesh and as Lynyrd Skynyrd put it, all you need is in you soul. Raising your level of self awareness is how you raise your levels of conscious awareness. Self awareness means being more aware of your impact on the world around you. It’s being mindful of your thoughts, words and actions. It’s exercising empathy and patience to achieve understanding.

There is not one single ritual or ceremony in existence that makes you more spiritual. There is not one special type of music that makes you more spiritual. There is not one religion or book to follow that will make you more spiritual. This not one Yoga position that makes you more spiritual. There is not one meditation that makes you more spiritual.

Every life is a spiritual life governed by unseen forces of existence.

Each of us has the ability to connect to our higher selves and this connection gives us access to wisdom and knowledge as old as existence itself. We achieve this connection within us and nothing out here will ever do anything to assist us in doing what we can do all on our own. Some will profess that the use of psychedelics will make it easier. No, it gives you a crutch that will not allow you to do it without the psychedelics.

I use this simple meditation that I have been giving to my students and those I counsel for years.

Say the words “I let go of everything.”

Repeat until you feel your body take over the breathing.

Then say “I go into the void of my own mind to learn what I need to know right now.”

This activates your higher self connection to guide you through your realizations with no need of ever having to take a single class or crack a single book. This will take you further than any drug. This is the journey to activating your DNA. When done you can do things such as what I did in making my skeleton symmetrical. I am not theorizing I am telling you exactly how I did it. I did it by being honest in all areas of my life and honest with myself.

I changed more than my skeleton when I activated my DNA.  Everything you need in order to do it is within you not out here.

Stop giving away your power and empower yourself to own your life, your journey and the impact that life makes on the rest of us.

That’s the one thing these industry people never talk about.

Owning your impact on the lives of all you come in contact with. Owning the suffering you add to when you ignore someone including walking by that homeless person on the street. Once you embraces what it means to be a spirit wrapped in flesh one sees it everyone else too. You see the sameness despite the differences. You see how we are all connected and we see that unless we all chip in it will only get worse. We have seen the history repeat itself and we can see it around us now.

Karmic Law states history will repeat itself until changed. Until we all become one human race and set the stupid bullshit aside we have seen what happens and what is happening.

Dive within yourself and see if you find something different.

 

How to access your DNA the simple truth

A few years ago I did what many might consider to be impossible.

I was born with a short leg and over sized hip on the right side. When I was a teenager they took X-rays to verify this.

A few years ago I made my skeleton symmetrical internally on my own. I did this by unlocking the cipher lock that is in our DNA.

What I am about to tell you is not theory, it is fact based on how I did it.

There are no special tones I listened to. I did not do yoga. I never attended any seminars or workshops. I never took psychedelics. I never followed any steps written by anyone in any book. I did not break all attachments. I did not get rid of my ego.

What I did was learn how to live what love is in individual fashion. Love is attachment.

You can not live love and not be attached to someone or several people.

You can not live love without an ego. Your ego is your identity and is exactly who you say you are. Without an ego you are a slave to all around you and will do nothing to care for yourself. You cannot reach higher levels of awareness without your ego, an identity that gives you a point of reference.

I spent a few years in the egoless state and it was I reclaimed my identity that I saw it’s priceless value and became even more aware.

You can not access your DNA without understanding what love is based on life experience.

That means no one, including me can teach you how to do it in any way, form or fashion.

Anyone claiming to have the steps to follow has not completed the journey.

As I mentioned there are medical records to back up what I have done to myself.

Now then to access your DNA you have to have the first hand life experience of living every aspect of what love is.

The journey to do this is a solo journey and those who sell the group experience are actually retarding the process. It’s all based in individual view and expression. No matter what metaphors I used to get there you have to use your own and figure out your own metaphors that your subconscious uses to store information.

The subconscious mind uses metaphor to store information that is translated into what we call language in the conscious mind.

All language is metaphorical and has only the meaning we agree to. In the actual and the factual nothing has a name and we have given it all names in order to communicate with each other and try to make sense out if all through language. Education systems actually do more to inhibit out innate understanding of life the Universe and most things than any other source of retardation in understanding on the planet.

Once I unlocked my DNA for self programming, I made many changes. The evolution of thought that I have experienced in order to evolve my DNA is not in any teaching anyone is preaching.

I can’t teach it to you either. No one can. It is solely based in real life experience you have to have.

The best myself or any other can do is be a guide or sounding board so to speak as you take the journey.

To be that guide I work on donation, no donation required or asked for.

If you have a true desire to take the journey that unlocks your full potential, be careful and know your entire life is going to change and in ways you probably will not like. As I said it is a behavioral cipher lock. You can’t fake it and no one can do it for you.

The best I can do is give an assist with the Reiki system I designed for providing energetic support to those who come to me.

 

 

The Idea of the Deconstruction of the Human Condition

The idea of deconstruction is not a new one. Taking something apart to see how it works. Studying the smaller parts to better understand the sum and how all the parts work together.

To understand yourself you must deconstruct yourself and understand everything that goes into you being you. What are all the parts that go into the projection of self that is your ego or the idea that is you.

I like to explain things as simply as possible, using the fewest words possible. I like to work under the idea that if you can’t explain it simply in your own words than you don’t get it. That’s my way of saying

“Don’t expect me to quote other people much.”

I began the deconstruction of me when my 3rd wife had told me that her friends didn’t like the way I spoke. I had a habit of sounding authoritative in everything I had to say, leaving little room to question the content based on the delivery in my tone and posture.

I asked myself why I spoke this way all the time.

The beginning of the answer was readily available as the memory of working in a call center for the third time came up in my minds eye.

While I was in training at United Healthcare, I was told I am the expert and to not sound like I am the expert causes the customer to lose confidence in the answers I’m providing to their questions. I later became a supervisor and would coach my representatives on their delivery using this concept. During the 4 years of 40 or more hours a week of speaking to people this way, it became my normal way of speaking.

Our environment does have an effect and sometimes a profound one. My ego had developed this form of communication due to the environment that paid for my life. It also happened to be the environment I spent the most time in during the years I spent there. Answering this one question was just the beginning of the deconstruction of me and why I speak the way I do.

I am a nonconformist by nature. My dedication to myself to be an individual and to never go along with the crowd comes from my Hungarian DNA.

I did some research and I was happy to find out there are millions of people who live life from this rugged individualistic view. However for me, the only Hungarians I had ever met were my mom’s side of the family.

My mother is the youngest of 5 female Hungarians with a Hungarian father. My grandfather was a brilliant man. He was a WWII veteran of the United States Army. A decorated veteran who was a warrior to the core. He was well known before meeting my grandmother to be a bar brawler. If a fight broke out in a bar my grandfather might have started it and even if he didn’t he was going to get in the middle of it.

The first time my grandparents met, they didn’t actually meet. Grandpa had grabbed Grandma’s purse to hit someone with. They met a week or two later and in that first meeting Grandpa told her he was going to marry her. 3 Months later they were married.

My mother and all 4 of my aunts are brilliant minded women. They married very intelligent men, all of them. When I was a kid, I was the kind of kid who read the encyclopedia for fun.

I am that kind of brilliant myself.

At 9 I was reading Bruce Lee’s Jeet Kune Do. At 4 my dad caught me watching an advanced economics class on public access and then I turned around and explained it to him off the lecture portion alone.

There is a legitimate reason I feel comfortable being a teacher and a guide. However it wasn’t until I took this journey started by my 3rd wife’s questions that I learned just how different I really am and how intelligent I am. It’s why I thank her now for the hell it was then to find the reasons why I was such a pain in her ass in simply being me.

Even as a child I spent most of my time alone and liked it that way. In fact the only times I ever felt lonely was around other people. I felt that way because I never really fit in unless I blended into the background. I had to work at not talking in order to be accepted.

In the time I spent by myself I was often engaged in mind feeding exercises or working on the martial arts stuff I read for 3 years from age 9- 12. I was creating my own martial art based on the formless ideas Bruce Lee had opened my mind to at 9. I practiced alone and no one has seen my form accept one time when I was 14. That was the last fight I have ever allowed myself to be in.

I didn’t like what happened later that day after that one fight at lunch. In the physical education class I was in the kid I had fought was in that class also. When his name was called another kid yelled out “YEAH AND THAT SMALL GUY OVER THERE KICKED THE SHIT OUT OF HIM AT LUNCH!”

I felt how humiliated he was and after that I never wanted to make anyone feel that again. I failed for many years at that, however it was never a result from engaging in physical violence to this day.

I am 41 as I write this and I am proud of the fact I have never had to hit somebody or get hit by someone.

I have continued my study of martial arts over my life in various forms and in spending time with martial artists who have studied a variety of forms, never telling them I had my own form I had been working on since I was a kid. I had no interest in showing it to them or in sparring to prove myself. I know I can defend myself if needed and I work at making sure it is not needed.

Unlike my grandfather I chose to become a man of peace. Typical Hungarian choice. However like my grandfather, I did choose military service. I spent 4 years in the United States Air Force. Those 4 years had a lasting impression on my projection of self ever since.

Arrogance speaks from a place of what a human being might do or might be capable of.

Confidence speaks from experience of what a human being has done or is doing.

I never want to be a man who sold it because it sounded good at the time or because I was trying to provide a new way or some crazy ego driven shit such as that. I don’t see myself as anything other than a human being who just happened to be born with this intellect and the life to maximize it’s potential, however in true Hungarian fashion, I did it my way and not in any traditional fashion.

My self dedication to being an individual is what led me here and understanding why I always felt this way from the core of my being was a journey I wasn’t even close to ready to take until I was 36.

The answer to the question who am I and what can I realistically do about it led me on quite the journey indeed and I doubt even I can sum it up in a few words. As you can see already it’s a complex answer with many facets to examine. You’re not that different from me in that regard. We are the same. The sum total of our life experience and what we have decided to do with and about it and is who we are right now.

As simple as we would like life to be, we are complex creatures who take refuge in simplicity. Life is complicated at times and often it’s a complexity of our own design that serves a purpose we may or may not understand until we take the journey to know ourselves to understand why it is so complex. Your web of complexity is certain to be different than mine, even if we share the same types of experiences that taught us who to become now and why.

Our identity and sense of self is never set and always in a state of refinement and never has a set definition.

One of my earliest memories was when my mom took me to see Star Wars in 1977.

While many day dreamed of becoming Luke Skywalker or Han Solo, I had picked out Obi Wan Kenobi as my favorite. He let Vader kill him. He could have won the fight, but decided to sacrifice his life for something bigger than himself.

Most 3 year old’s would not have keyed in on that, I get that, I’m odd. This film also solidified my love for this medium of storytelling and I have seen over 5,000 movies. I have dyslexia and ADHD, making reading a chore instead of the pleasure so many others find it to be. If there’s a film version, I’ll skip the book every time.

As a child I was watching post apocalyptic films such as The Planet of Apes series and Logan’s Run and was understanding the concepts buried within. I watched cartoons as well and it was the exposure to Anime in the form of a cartoon called Star Blazers that I found a cartoon I got in the deeper concepts and ideas being explored. I was also a big fan of Robotech for the same reason when it hit the USA when I was a kid. I’m still a big fan of Tom & Jerry and the Looney Toons. My tastes are as eclectic as I am.

What I always found fascinating in Merry Melodies, as it is also known, is that the characters such as Yosemite Sam, Marvin the Martian, Elmer Fudd and any “antagonist” character were often not that smart and easily defeated by their over confidence in every circumstance. Just as Tom was often outsmarted by Jerry, Bugs and crew had a way of making the opposition look stupid.

What does any of this have to do with deconstructing the human condition?

Each of us is a make up of everything we have been exposed to whether we like it or not.

Think of it like this. I was learning at an early age that to hunt for sport was stupid. I was learning at an early age to be a bully was stupid. I was learning at an early age the only weapon you need is your mind and that it’s better to out smart them then try to beat them at their own game.

It’s why I always say “I play the player not the game.”

In studying the oppositions tendencies, they show you how to beat them while you sit back and watch. The opposition is often confident in it’s strategy and rarely uses much imagination as it believes itself to be superior or it would not have engaged in the activity to begin with. This is often due to a history of getting away with it.

I have noticed frequently in my life that when facing a bully, standing up to them screws with their heads. Refusing to play the part of the willing prey for them seems to make them stop in their tracks. It confuses them.

While not always, I have found many who take the bully approach are not that smart. I have also noticed that it typically stems from feelings of inadequacy and insecurity. The activity of putting others down or pushing them around or emotionally abusing them is often done to make the abuser or bully feel superior and reinforce their ego projection.

I have often found myself in the right place at the right time to teach the bully a lesson. I use my mind and I never engage in violence and refuse to do so. I live life by one rule.

Stay out of jail and if you like it, do it again, if you don’t then don’t do it again.

A simple rule that makes some complex situations easy to walk away from. If I continue on this track what is the likelihood I could end up in jail?

Anytime violence is involved or the threat of it, the chances you will end up in jail go up. This to me is a good deterrent. I have heard enough stories from those who have gone to know I will not enjoy the experience.

The understood possible consequence is enough for me. Some people have no problem thinking it will never happen to them or have no issues with going to jail or prison. I am not one of them. Here is why.

I love my freedom. I love that as long as I am out of prison my life can take really interesting turns at any given moment in time that can lead to some fun. I have explored the concept of the possible turns my life could take behind bars and I did not like any of them in just the idea of the possibilities.

Why take chances if you are not willing to face the consequences for your choices?

It’s why one of my favorite questions is why do we get mad at the cop for catching us?

What was it that made us think we didn’t deserve to get caught?

What made us think we were above the law?

What does that say about the psychological make up of the career criminal?

What does that say about the individual who only occasionally breaks a law here or there?

What does that say about you if you decide to break a law and think you should get away with it regardless of your reasoning?

I learned at an early age that if you didn’t caught you wouldn’t get in trouble. However I also learned that a falsely accused man can still serve the time.

I was going to a Baptist school for 1st through 3rd grade. During that time in the United States beating a kids ass with
a big wooden paddle was not considered child abuse, it was called correcting the child.

At this school whenever somebody just said I did something wrong, that was all it took for me to get paddled. On many occasions I had done nothing wrong and was not believed. I was beaten anyway. At times sent home with a letter to be signed by my parents to make sure I got spanked there too.

At one point after listening to me, my mother told me to tell the principal that they were not allowed to spank me any more.

The next time some one made something up to get me in trouble, I told this to the principal who called my mother. She verified what I was saying was true and then he asked her to come down to the school to spank me herself. To this day my mother feels guilty that it ever happened, any of it. I’m over it. It showed me at an early age that it was OK to stand up for myself even if the results ended in a beating anyway.

I switched schools and went to a public school starting in the 4th grade. The physical abuse had stopped and I was about to get a lesson in emotional abuse that set the course for the rest of my life where sarcasm became my trademark for too many years.

For the next 3 years of elementary school the other kids liked to a play game called “how long will it take to make him cry?” I heard every kind of insult and was happy to be going to a different junior high than the rest of my class.

I never had that problem again and those who tried met a razor sharp wit that still has yet to get my ass handed to me, though I came close a time or two.

It was my childhood that heavily influenced the father I became and continue to refine.

By today’s standards thankfully this behavior by the Baptist school is considered child abuse. I used to spank my son. Not hard, just enough to get his attention. I stopped as he got older and we could talk it out. His nick name is The Dude and no it is not because of the film THE BIG LEBOWSKI. At the time I had not yet seen the film. I got it from a friend whose children my 2nd wife and I provided day care for while I was going back to school online to get an Associates Degree in business management using my G.I. Bill from my time in the Air Force.

I use the nick name as a form of behavioral identity management. I attached behaviors to what it means to be The Dude. It includes things such as saying please and thank you and being a friend to everyone.

It means not being rude and other things we have all agreed are proper behavior for getting along with other people and obeying the rules.

Since my son was 4 instead of punishing him, I spend roughly 90 seconds reminding him what it means to be The Dude and he auto corrects and seldom acts up or out. He’s 11 now and is one the most well behaved and well adjusted kids you would ever want to meet.

I have yet to have other people complain to me about his behavior for any reason.

In fact when we were going through the terrible toddler stage and I was a single dad at the time, I would pick him up at daycare and see the behavior of the other children his age and realized he was easy in comparison. He has had his moments, however they have been few and far between and nothing any other kid including myself didn’t do from time to time.

He needs his reminder on occasion and he goes right back to being him. I look at who he is becoming and feel good about applying behavioral psychology the way I have with him.

He is taking his 3rd musical instrument and is in wrestling in school with his mom. It’s why I feel good about where he is as I write this. He has 2 half sisters that are older. When he lived with me he missed them a lot. I know they missed him too. His step dad is a decent man and fellow veteran. Army instead of Air Force and a decent human being. I am happy she married him. I don’t miss her. She is a decent mother.

Next.

As you can see giving my sons ego the concept of being The Dude gave him parameters to use in behavior that leaves him with plenty of room to explore who he can become. My son and I have few shared interests and I never played a musical instrument or got involved in athletics. I am proud him.

I love seeing him being his own person instead of trying to be what he thinks I would want him to be or what I would have been. I can’t help but to feel this is also a result of being the rugged individualism embracing idealist I am. I want to him to find his own identity and be his own individual as much as I want to be mine.

It is a distinct difference to the relationship I had with my father. For years my dad was upset that I never went into his business as a contractor. I have heard many stories from many sons whose dads wanted them to be the replacement version of them in society once they were gone.

Their idea whether they knew it or not was of having some sense of immorality. I carry on through my seed. In some ways I am doing the same thing with my son only instead of being a carbon copy of me I hope he does stuff because he really wants to or likes it and not just because he thinks it will make me happy. As long as he faces the consequences for his actions honestly, I will always be a proud father.

Now I have never wanted to be the “do as I say not as I do” kind of dad. My own dad was like that and I still call it the Hypocrites Oath. Since becoming a father I have made a lot of changes in my own behavior to be a better example of walking the talk to my son and his sisters, my stepdaughters, who had chosen of their own free will to call me dad. I am not saying I have been perfect at it, however it is at the front of my mind.

Would I want my kids to see this or do this?

If the answer is no, I either don’t do it or make sure they never find out. I am still human and have my things I like to do that are for adults only.

However I make sure those activities are never witnessed by them. If they decide to do some of this stuff once they turn 18, cool, I can’t say shit. That is the exact attitude I took once I turned 18.

I was in the Air Force and there was no way I was ever letting my parents tell me what to do ever again. I had been looking forward to that moment once I realized legally they could never tell me what to do again.

Most of this behavior is stuff we have agreed we shouldn’t do in front of anyone much less kids.

The biggest change for me in becoming a father was giving up drinking and realizing I had been an alcoholic. I had an easy time giving up booze.

The military had taught me the value of self discipline while at the same time creating the alcoholic I became. I still have yet to receive any addiction counseling nor have I ever gone to any meetings for any type of addiction. I found once I had fully committed to the decision it was easy. However there have been rare occasions when in troubled times the idea of a drink has crossed my mind.

Understanding why you do the things you do gives you the opportunity to be prepared when someone starts to question the intent behind anything you do or say.

The only thing I truly know is myself and I work hard to understand why it is I might be doing or saying anything. This exercise in self awareness and understanding oneself before responding to anything can be very revealing about the rest of you as well.

I say to know and understand thyself is to understand the rest as well.

Even in my stubborn as any mule individualism, I must still accept the universal truth that I’m as human as you are and that means there are some basic things we all share in common.

I am not that special in my humanness, even though I have found myself to be uncommon in the way I have embraced it and the decisions I make about what to do with it. I shy away from adoration. It makes me uncomfortable. I am not any better than anyone and I dislike being elevated by other people in the view they sometimes take of me.

While I acknowledge that my chosen representation of who I am is not typical by a long shot, I do hold that it is an absolute truth that any has the potential to be as I choose to be.

It is all about the choices we make in our every word and thought and action. The beauty of it is that you don’t have to become as I am. There is a lot of work that goes into being this guy that some might not want to do and that is quite OK. Having free will means having the gift and the right to choose what kind of existence you have.

There are things that are beyond our control that will happen at times. However it’s in how we view looking back that tells us about who we are right now. The emotion we attach to the memory and the rationalization we give for choosing that is our choice and that choice can be changed at any time.

I have often been known to say “There’s only one thing for sure about me, and that’s nothing’s for sure about me.”

The most beautiful gift each of us has as a human being is the ability to grow and learn and become something more than the sum of our experience based on what we choose to do about and with it.

The only true constant in existence is change. Change is the basis for existence. If there was no change there would be no existence.

Evolve in your thinking, evolve physically or die out. Evolution is life, life is evolution. The Universe is in a constant state of evolution and becoming and so are we not just in life but as a species.

While attending the private school they gave us tests. My reading comprehension and other comprehension scores were at the PhD level as it was the highest score they had. If it doesn’t make sense to me it doesn’t make sense.

I was left in the same grade and when I moved to public school they refused my mother’s request to have me tested for advance classes then known as the G.A.T.E. Program. I never did well in school and while the other kids were still trying to figure out the concepts we had just learned, I already had them down and was using them as a springboard in my internal thinking of what I could do with these concepts that was far beyond anything going on in the class.

I was already doing probability figures in my head.

I was 7 when I first started these self guided mental exercises.

The thought never occurred to me that I was that different and I thought everyone did it and kept it to themselves. To me I was normal. To my teachers I was lazy.

My mother also asked I be tested for ADHD and was again denied and I was labeled lazy. I was bored and could never see the value in doing homework the way it was prescribed. In junior high I failed math classes because I was trying to rewrite the math. In high school I nearly flunked out my junior year and went to a continuation high school for kids with behavioral issues and pregnant teens.

I was allowed to work at my own pace and no homework. I graduated 6 months early and hung around to cross the stage with my friends at the end of the year. During that time I got involved with student government and became the student representative for my school at the board of education meetings. That early lesson I got about standing up for myself was about to piss off the entire school board in one fatal shot.

During one of the meetings, we were going over the teacher’s policy for the district. It was the rules the teachers were supposed to be following. I noticed several things that I had witnessed being ignored and led to my failing classes and said so.

I spoke my mind and called out the schools where I had attended that I saw this happen before my very eyes and I suggested that the board be more concerned with enforcing this policy than the policy itself from the student perspective. They were not amused to be hearing this from my 17 year old
mouth.

Did I mention I am infamous for calling it like I see it regardless who it might upset?

It’s a behavioral trait I still embrace today. Here’s why.

It is my belief that right makes might not the other way around. I also truly believe that nothing can stand against the truth. I take my stands based on careful consideration of what is the right thing to do in this situation and why?

I had an ex girlfriend tell me once she only argued if she knew she was right. She was studying to become an attorney and I won maybe 2 arguments during the year and a half we were together. It is guidance I have been using for more then 15 years as I have picked my battles knowing I had already won before I ever started.

Why set yourself up for a loss if you can help it?

People have wished me dead for this more times than I can count. I am intelligent and capable of explaining my point in a way that it can not be denied other than you don’t like it. It’s a skill I’ve worked my entire life to master.

I got early training with my mother’s Hungarian sisters and their husbands and my cousins. Let me see if I can explain a typical family get together for this group of Hungarians.

In this family when we get together we share what we’ve learned about the world and how we think it could be done better in the craziest, yet most intelligent fashion I have ever seen.

If you were going to run at the mouth you had to be prepared to explain where your view came from. You had to be able to show how you came to it through experience and your own choice or you were summarily dismissed an no longer allowed to talk.

It was explained that unless you take the time to examine it and have some basis tied to it in experience that led you to think this way you were a slave to whatever anyone might try to sell you. It’s a thought process I used to listen to when I was 5 and they thought I was sleeping.

The education behind the arguments I overheard and eventually joined in included the following areas, philosophy, real estate, psychology, economics, political science, being debated by college graduates in these areas and a school teacher turned text book salesman, brassy broad, Air Force Vietnam war officer, housewife, contractor, 2 of them and whatever the rest of us were into at that time.

I had a lot of really intelligent and well educated by school and life human beings to mold and shape who I became before I entered the United States Air Force at age 17.

Hungarians at the genetic level have a predisposition to be in the never ending quest to quench the never ending thirst to learn and still be an individual. The military was going to be a test of that. Over the next 4 years I did find a way to fit in and stand out at the same time.

At the core of my being I am a protector. This happened due to a traumatic experience I had at age 5 where I was unable to protect someone. The trauma set the course for everything I studied in martial arts to be able to protect. Because the individual I could not protect then was a female child, I am protective of women and children.

Something I have to check myself on even to this day. If I see a woman in trouble I dawn my cape as Captain Save a Ho or put on my armor and mount my horse to save the damsel in distress.

I have gotten better about it over the years, however it is still known to add a complication to my life here and there.

Most of my friends are women and most of them have endured some form of abuse physical and/or emotional at some point.

I went to basic training at age 17 after my parents signed a waiver to let me go 2 and a half months before my 18th birthday. I had never really been away from home and never on my own before this experience.

When I think back to the day I swore my oath, I can almost hear it as if I was there again. I remember thinking about the words I spoke. I understood what I was saying and the commitment I was making and who I was making it to.

In my own words I would say that I swore an oath to the land and the people of this country to defend them against all enemies both foreign and domestic and that I would only follow lawful orders and I would be expected to know the difference and act accordingly.

My oath wasn’t to the government, it was to the land and the people.

Long story short, there was a time in basic training my mom had been calling the base to check on me. When the instructors called me in the office and told me to go call her, I asked them if the others were going to be able to go too. They said no. I asked why should I be allowed if we aren’t all going.

I had shown I understood that in being there, I was a part of the flight not to be singled out for any special treatment regardless of whether or not my mom thought so. I showed my ability to put myself at the same level as the other young men around me going through the experience with me. To be fair to my mom, I had just spent a week transitioning to a new flight after spending a few days in the hospital with strep throat.

I had been technically recycled to a new flight and from day one of training they programmed it into us that this was our biggest fear. I had not failed at anything, however I had spent one day too long in the hospital and had missed too much in the way of training to stay with my original flight.

My instructor who had to send me out of his flight was not happy to be doing this. I’d been a good airman and I wasn’t being disciplined. The only thing I had done close to wrong was get sick. I would like to say it softened the blow and didn’t bother me. It did bother me.

Psychologically speaking I had been in a traumatic situation forming bonds with the people around me for mutual support. I say traumatic due to finding it traumatic to have people screaming in your face on occasion. If you enjoy being on the other end of having yourself, your family and the family pets insulted in creative ways at high volume a few inches away from your face, seek help.

To maintain ones military discipline and learn to let it roll on by as if it was nothing was one way of preparing us to stay level headed in the midst of chaos. I knew it was a game of psychological breakdown and restructuring and played their game their way because I had sworn an oath to do so.

I understood what was happening around me was exactly what I signed up for and there was no sense in complaining. Logic said, I signed on the line and my ass was no longer mine. I could plainly see I was not being singled out unless I made the mistake of sticking out.

Everyone was getting yelled at from time to time. There were no blanket parties and I did not hear about it happening while I was in the Air Force. We were never threatened with physical violence and every instructor I had was a decent human being with an incredibly difficult job to do in a short period of time.

The men and women who I spent time with at Lackland AFB from June 16th to August 7th of 1992 were absolute professionals. From the instructors to the staff at the hospital and every enlisted person and officer I dealt with. I unknowingly at the time could sense the dedication it took and the time lost with family to make sure these 50 guys who never met, turned into a cohesive unit able to manage their own morale and support each other to ensure every one made it and do it in 6 weeks.

The men and women of every service branch who serve as basic training instructors have one of the most demanding jobs I have ever seen and one of the most important jobs in the United States military. When the veil dropped on graduation day and they could let up, we saw the more human side of the Godzilla’s that had been breathing fire down our necks and in our faces. I knew it had been a game of sorts and these were master level players I was honored and privileged to learn from.

I started smoking cigarettes at age 13. The first time I lit up it was as if I had taken my first real breath. I didn’t cough or get queasy, I had just found the only best friend and life long addiction I need. In basic training I was not allowed to touch a cigarette much less smoke one.

I left Lackland on August 7th and arrived at Keesler AFB in Biloxi Mississippi and by the end of the day I bought a carton and a zippo. I was there to spend the next 6 months learning to become a Wideband Equipment Systems Specialist. I didn’t know what that meant at the time either. It’s why I was at Technical school until February 13th 1993.

Don’t worry at some point this abstract journey will make sense. I am left handed and right brained and live in the abstract. These were the things I had to revisit to understand who I became later and why.

I found out after coming back to school after taking a couple weeks of leave to go home that sometimes it’s better to shut up than tell the truth. The entire student population at Keesler was given two weeks off around the Christmas holiday. I flew home for the first time in six months. It was fun seeing people and at the same time, I saw why I left this small college town to begin with. I was happy with the decision I’d made and was happy to go back to school.

Before I left I had folded a pair of pants over the back of my chair and draped the shirt for my uniform over the back as well. When I returned I found out they were going to give me a letter of counseling for this. I challenged it with my training manager who referred me up to the chief training manager. He had told me that none of his managers would have written me up for that, if that was indeed all that was wrong with my room.

He asked if I was calling his managers liars. I said “No sir, you are.”

He was not amused. About 15 minutes later I had moved to the commanding officers office and had been upgraded to a letter of reprimand. I lost off base privileges and the ability to wear civilian clothes for the next 6 weeks. I was also assigned R.M.T. which technically stands for Remedial Military Training and was known by the students as Rakes, Mowers and Trash. My mouth cost me good on that one.

I fought the law and the law won that time.

When it came to my studies I was put through 3 months of accelerated advanced electronic theory and then 3 months of learning the equipment I might see out on the job. It was there I learned what Boolean algebra is and how to convert digital to analog and back using conversion math, using Binary, Oct, and Hexadecimal.

I learned the design of the modern day signal that is used for every form of communication there is and how to manipulate it in a myriad of ways. It was my job to know how to do it and they trained me well.

Everything I was learning was just more conditioning of this human to be what the Air Force needed me to be. We often condition ourselves for events in the future with no real understanding of what our life is leading us to. We do this so that we are prepared in the moment for what ever that moment turns into.

Believe it or not this is still answering the question as to why I speak to people the way I do regardless of venue or who they think they are in the moment.

How we say it is often more important then what we say. How we speak says a lot about us to the audience and their view is out of our control.

At 18 years old the Air Force shipped me to Patrick AFB in Cocoa Beach Florida. I took advantage of the fact that from my second floor dorm room, it took me 5 minutes to walk to the beach. I fell in love with being this close to the ocean. I have never slept better than I did those months with my window open hearing the waves crashing on the beach. The nights I had trouble sleeping I walked along the beach working out whatever it was that was keeping me up.

I’ve always used self cognitive therapy to understand what was going on in my life. I’ve always found time to talk to myself and see if I could get and keep my head on straight as the most valuable time alone anyone could ever take. It is in these self therapy sessions I adjusted the behavior seen by the rest so that I could better fit in and be accepted by the crowd I found myself in.

While I like being alone, I like getting along when my life does require I be around people.

I’ve always been something of a chameleon in viewing life like this. Though one place I didn’t really blend in and my sticking out worked in my favor was at the Inner Room.

It was a strip club a few miles from the base and a couple blocks off the beach. I’d never been to strip club before and with my Christian up bringing I felt like I was getting away with doing something wrong, which of course made it even better in my opinion at the time.

If you think I’m about to tell some wild tales, wrong answer, please try again. The experience I had as I look back is typically Hungarian in my interactions with these women, many of whom adopted me as a kid brother.

Hungarians are known for both respecting and lusting after women. What this created in me is a man who feels guilty about finding women physically desirable. What that looked like was an 18 year old maintaining eye contact with half naked women a few nights a week for a few months.

I always notice the physical attributes that I find visually pleasing, however I still respect those attributes belong to a complex human being. I feel bad about the idea of fantasizing about a woman.

I did a lot of asking questions and listening with the women of the Inner Room. Many of these women would shoot you in a dark alley and never ask a single question if they didn’t know you. It was a dark side of the life they led doing the job they did at the time. I met veterans, college students working towards a PhD is psychology, single mothers doing the best they could and others. In fact some of them were doing exactly what they enjoyed doing for a living.

During the many hours of education I was getting the lessons they were teaching became some of the most valuable things I ever learned. They taught me how to be a man women would want. They told me all the behavior that made women want to walk away. As the Air Force had just got done teaching me what it meant to be an Airman, these women were teaching me what to took to be a man.

I remember the one recurring theme in these many hours of education was confidence. As human beings we respond to confident people. Whether or not people think you are confident begins with how you speak and your body language as you do so.

A lesson introduced by family by example.

Explained by women in a strip club.

A reminder in the form of a job and a lifetime of just doing it without ever stopping to remember where I even got the idea, much less how it became the way I talked for the most part for most of my life.

I wear a Nike shirt for a night shirt and have a Nike hat I wear on occasion to remind me to just do it, whatever it is.

It was a lot of things over time that when my 3rd wife asked the question when I was 36 that started a journey that had me wondering why I do all of the things I do, the deconstruction of myself had begun.

In answering one “why” I had answered several others and being me it was something new to learn. The challenge of learning who I had become and why in the totality of who I am became an obsession. I can honestly say I had become obsessed with who I was and why I was they way I was and why so many people for the first time seemed to really have a problem with it. I learned it was basically my 3rd wife who had the biggest problem with it.

Had she never had the problem with who I was, I never would’ve taken this journey and I will always be grateful for the time we had for what it was, regardless of some of the things that happened that made ending it the healthiest thing either of us could do for ourselves and each other.

I still tend to speak with confidence and come off authoritative at times. I’ve noticed how people react to it and work diligently at toning it down to better fit the moment and the context of the surroundings and who I am engaged with and why.

I have learned to adjust my projection to get the reflections I desire to notice and turn around. I adjusted my projection to allow the room of mirrors that is my current life to rarely have a distorted view. The reflections these days are clear. I had to drop certain people from my life and noticed it was my unclear projection of self that is what they were reflecting back at me.

I had finally unlocked my myself and became my key to the door that led to my authentic representation of self and freed me from the prison of attempting to be anything less. In order to find acceptance we often create a prison that is the image of self we project that is not who we truly are.

It’s why so many say “No one gets me.”

The Mantra of the moment

Doing what I do in the lives of my clients presents a challenge to me in how I view myself and my dedication to my own individualism.

The challenge is this.

Let each client get a different set of mantras and what not that best suits who they are and avoid the confines of conformity in using the same material over and over.

For me it gets boring to simply give each person the same canned speech or set of mantras and other tools I provide my clients with for managing their life better without needing me or anyone else. I cherish my being an individual and part of what I assist my clients with is becoming more at home with and embracing the individual they are. To me the greatest disservice I could do for one of my clients is to give them something everyone else gets and make clones out of them all.

I have said often that i see even my own material as a jumping off point for finding new ways of expressing it and simplifying the expression to reach a larger audience. I would be acting as a great fool to rely on them having the same education or years of study I have.

What I find disturbing in the personal growth arena is the trend to create your own set of whatever and teach that to people making them clones of your system. Creating your tribe so to speak and deeming yourself the head of the tribe. I thought about doing this and every time I could not avoid feeling as though I was taking on narcissistic behavior and encouraging that through my example to my clients and friends and the world at large and most importantly, my son.

When I created The Martial Art of Thought Protection through Right Action I set a very clear intent for myself.

Create something that does not require any one to follow me to use.

Create something that encourages individualism yet provide a loose structure of behavior most would agree is healthy for the sum and the individual alike.

Create something that acknowledges the importance of faith in ones life without preaching any particular brand of it.

With clients I have often found the mantras are developed as we work together so that it is something personal to them and easier for them to remember to use.

The Mantra I use frequently is “Mine is to reveal not to preach.”

A Shaman is a teacher not a preacher.

A Shaman understands that everything we need to know we already know and it is through experience this is revealed.

A Shaman reveals what lay behind the veil not a preacher of the veil.

A Mantra can be anything in the fewest words it takes to set your intent that guides your behavior.

What Mantra do you have for yourself for what you are living now?

What is the Essence of the condition of being Human?

To answer this one question we must also answer the question of what was the essence that preceded the existence of our current Universe.

For lack of a better word, God is that essence that preceded the existence we know now. The essence that was God made itself into matter with all the encoding for what we know as existence. This is the only explanation that makes sense and would also mean that God is in everything.

The reason mathematically we have such a difficult time proving anything is due to organized chaos. Not total chaos, however a structure that allows for our own free will in creating the shared reality we call life.

In order for there to be any order within the chaos there must be set parameters that keep existence from unmaking itself. This cannot have simply happened on accident. It is evidence that God is the universe and we are part of that God that uses us to figure out what it made and what to do about it.

Outside of these bodies we are nothing more than emotional energy with self-awareness.

The Essence of the condition of being Human is forgetting all that to explore what God created in a way that can only be done by doing what we do here.

Or to say forget about going on a quest to be more spiritual and realize you are a spirit who came here to learn how to be human. A journey that incorporates a system that is much simpler than we would like to believe because it reveals how much power we have over our lives.

I have always been a big fan of using elementary deductive reasoning. Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever is left no matter how improbable must be true.

It doesn’t matter if a machine or mathematical equation can substantiate it. We have the ability to reason for a reason.

Philosophy and physics are one in the same.

We are made of emotional energy and give ourselves a total wipe and allow the emotional imprints of the totality of our parents emotional selves at the time of conception begin the emotional imprint for who will be.

Gravity connects all things.

At the center of the Universe is a super massive singularity or black hole. It works on a vortex.

At the center of our galaxy is a massive singularity that works on a vortex.

At the center of the smallest subatomic particle is a gyre or a subatomic black hole that works on a vortex.

Forget size and realize it does not matter and only has value due to the limited senses we have in this form called human.

Within the center of the gyre is a consciousness that understands what particle it is creating and communicates with the other gyres to align to create what we call matter. A projection of energy given form based on set parameters yet with an element of chaos.

That element of chaos is what allows for diversity in all things. Think of it as an evolving algorithm with set tolerances and every variable is variable and in a constant state of change.

Our emotional imprint meets with matter and DNA programming begins. The cipher lock that will unlock our full potential begins to form in the DNA strands themselves. As an energetic lock there is no physical science that can match simply becoming the necessary behavioral version of you that unlocks the full potential and the lock begins being built by who your parents were.

This is the short version of what the essence of the condition of being human is.

While there are others who will go on and one about aspects of self or shadow selves or any number of things that in order for them to hold true deems you must follow their system must be false due to the existence of organized chaos to keep all from becoming the same.

Or to say the only way to truly do it is to let you guide you through you and every journey while having some experiences that are similar is different and no two journeys should ever be the same or organized chaos and free will do not exist. To imply that anyone of us is capable of providing “Thee” path is an extreme form of narcissism bordering on the level of a God Complex.

We all see the same truths in life yet we all see and experience them differently based on our choices in who make ourselves to become through the way we speak. Our words carry emotion behind them and that emotion will bounce back at some point.

Altering ones behavior really is as simple as improving yourself talk and being aware of every word you say and the power it has to come back and slap you upside the head.

Our essence is always creating our existence and that is the essence of the condition of being human.

The Idea of Addiction

Life is addiction and addiction is life. There is no such thing as a human without at least one addiction.

Addiction can be physical or psychological or both.

I understand why I am addicted to tobacco beyond the physical nicotine addiction.

I understand why I became addicted to the internet.

I understand why I became addicted to alcohol.

I understand why I became addicted to working out.

I understand why I became addicted to prescription pain killers.

I understand why I became addicted to meditation.

I understand why I became addicted to love.

We are emotional creatures.

We get addicted to anything that makes us feel good.

We get addicted to that which makes us feel nothing at all.

Depending on the experiences of your individual life you will be addicted and are addicted to more than one thing.

I am currently addicted to tobacco, coffee, music, writing, dark chocolate, meditation and some stuff I’m forgetting.

Without music I am anxious.

Without tobacco, I can’t focus and my sensitivity gets stronger to the point where I can physically feel emotional energy.

When I write it feels good. I have been writing 6 days a week for the most part for over 3 years.

If I don’t have my dark chocolate almond milk for my coffee, I don’t feel like me.

I meditate off and on throughout my day and will spend hours ignoring my life in favor of the escape meditation can be and often is.

I think you get the point of just how simple the idea of addiction is and that we are all addicts and that life in part is a matter of picking the addictions you like and anyone who doesn’t like it can fuck off.

The addicts credo.

There is no great psychological or spiritual or philosophical mystery to addiction. We get addicted to that which assists in dealing with life or allows us to escape dealing with life.

TV and films and books are also addiction sources said the recovered film addict who has seen over 5 thousand movies. I use to rent 15 a week and watch them all. I turned this addiction into a blog for 3 years called The Movie Whore.

Say what you want about the name, people in the film industry I interviewed, they loved it. I wrote every day and became addicted to the persona of The Movie Whore as much as I was addicted to the films that inspired the personas formation.

As much as I would like to say it was a public image persona, it was just a name for my film addiction that allowed me to attempt to make my addiction productive and therefore validating the behavior that led to the name being used. I mentioned earlier I wanted to be a film producer. My addiction turned blog, led to me becoming a film producer.

Sometimes addiction can lead to a productive life. It depends on the addiction and what you do with it.

Did I mention I’m a workaholic?

In my corporate days, if I was on salary, I worked a lot of overtime.

When I drove a taxi, I worked 6 days a week, working 18 hour shifts for a few months.

As a stay at home dad and house husband a day off didn’t exist in my world.

I’m still addicted to working and have had to teach myself when to relax and let go of it. As you can see by my confession, I’m still working on it.

I told you I’m as flawed as you are. For the most part, I’m at peace with my flaws and the ones that still stir up internal conflict, well that’s between me and myself.

As far as picking my addictions goes, well I feel good about that too. Here’s why.

The playlists of music I listen to all day and night are as ever evolving as I am.

The playlist I listen to most is “The Church of Rock ‘N’ Roll” to signify these are the songs I use to align or define my ego expression.

The play list changes from time to time. I will be listening to the lyrics and find a certain song no longer applies to how I choose to view life and it gets dropped. I will create a radio station to give myself the opportunity to hear something new or at least new to me. At times songs from this exercise find their way to the list.

The other playlist I listen to daily is called “Turn the mirror inward” and is the one I listen to as I begin my last meditation of the day to get ready for bed. With my dyslexia it makes reading more work than relaxing or a form of escapism.

I find with music the visual journey in my mind’s eye often takes me through my own history and remembering why this song applies.

I use music to reinforce my personal behavioral program choices.

I use music to assist me in managing me.

I exercise discernment in what music I allow to possibly plant a seed with the lyrics.

I pick music that reinforces my individuality and my choice to be a nonconformist in the idea of being a slave to cultural trends.

I pick music that reminds me, only I know me and fully understand who I am and why I chose to be this way in this moment.

I pick music that reminds me none of us is any better than any other.

I pick music that reminds me as a species we are all in this together.

The point is, I pick music based on what I like singing along with on occasion. I pick music with lyrics that remind me why I even fell in love with music to begin with.

I would feel like I was trying to pull a fast one f I did not talk about my tobacco addiction. I have heard all I am going to hear in the way of reasons why I should quit. Here’s why.

I like it.

Here’s the real self-rationalization I use to feel OK with myself and my choice to remain addicted to tobacco.

My dad is a smoker. I grew up in the 70′ and 80’s and parents smoked inside the house. In fact people smoked in restaurants, bowling alleys, bars and even in the grocery store. You couldn’t go anywhere and not be around someone smoking except the movie theater and church, at least the ones I went to as a kid.

At age 13 I stole a pack of my dad’s cigarettes. I put that first one to my lips and lit it. I took my first drag and inhaled. I felt like I had just taken my first real breath. I didn’t cough or get queasy. I liked it the first time I tried it and have been basically smoking for 29 years. I had to quit in basic training and that lasted 7 weeks. I quit at age 31 after my son had been born. It lasted two months.

I quit smoking at age 37 for about 2 months. I did well until my 3rd wife wanted to still have our “going to bed” cigarette and the “after sex” cigarette. I started sneaking cigarettes behind her back and lying about my smoking.

Typical addict behavior.

I’ve always worked at not speaking in anger. I always used going out to have a smoke as a way to keep it from coming out. To give myself time to think and calm down, I smoked and paced while talking to myself.

I am not quitting in the foreseeable future. I’ve designed my diet and workout routine around combating the health effects of smoking tobacco.

I understand as long as I continue to use tobacco there is currently no way to totally eliminate the dangerous possible side effects.

The first step I took towards reducing those effects was to switch to rolling my own with organic tobacco. I noticed right away that the tobacco was stronger and had a stronger effect.

I naturally started smoking less. When I roll a cigarette it might take me anywhere from 1-2 hours to smoke that full cigarette. When I buy a pack of smokes, I smoke a pack a day. When I roll my own organic tobacco cigarettes I smoke between 5 and 7 a day.

I work to keep it at the 5, but shit happens. Financially this also was a good option.

Let’s say a pack of decent smokes is $5 for the sake of this example. I pay $10 for a pouch currently. A pouch contains 50 papers or the equivalent of 2 and a half packs of cigarettes. A pouch lasts me 7-10 days.

A pack a day at $5 over 7 days is $35 and a pouch for $10 that lasts that same 7 days is all the math this addict needed to look at.

An addict will look into every detail of feeding their addiction, to make sure they can. This math means more money to spend on the dietary needs that will also assist in reducing the unhealthy effects.

I want to take time to point out there are a ton of other chemicals in most prepackaged cigarettes sold today in the United States. I removed smoking those chemicals from my addiction. While I know of no study to show it, I do feel this also reduced the health risks by perhaps 50% as a result. I smoke fewer cigarettes and eliminated smoking the chemicals and now only smoke organic tobacco.

This is addict logic and thinking. It’s probably closer to 10% reduction, however an addict will lie like a motherfucker to themselves and the world to feel OK with feeding the addiction. It is ego driven behavior in every way.

I have a high antioxidant diet with foods and herbs known to assist in proper digestion and flushing out toxins from the body. The foundation of my diet is pink crystal Himalayan salt.

Its structure is cube shape which is what makes it the perfect purifying agent. I recommend doing your own research into this salt and make your own choice. It’s also known to aid in breaking addiction.

I could give you pages of why I smoke in great detail, however I think we get the point about what addiction is and what it can look like in living action.

Take some time and think about the things you do to check out or to feel good and you will find your addictions.

As soon as you start finding yourself rationalizing it or attempting to justify it, you will know you have found your addictions.

We each have our addictions and we have our reasons for this one or that one. As long as it works for you and you’re not inflicting harm on others, fuck yourself up all you want in my opinion.

Simply understand there will be consequences and be prepared to deal with them. This is why there are some substances I will not try even once. Anything can become addictive and moderation is all about self-discipline and owning your choices instead of looking for excuses.

I feel I am as responsible as I can be in the choices I’ve made with the addictions I have in my life.

I take time to think and examine the reasons why I engage in these addictions every time I do it. I know every time I abuse a substance or engage in behavior that could be harmful to myself and take precautions to limit the harm that might and can be done to me with my choices.

I exercise self-discipline to act in moderation with the understanding as to why I am engaging my will power to not use this or that at any given moment.

I choose to use whatever it is I am using to feel good or escape dealing with life or to feel nothing.

I choose the amount of the substance or the length of time I use to escape life or feel good or feel nothing.

It is the things we feel we need others to say is OK that is an indicator what we are doing might in fact not be healthy for us. Addiction has infinite forms.

The only way to truly fight addiction is to stop fighting it and start managing it with will and intent to the healthiest possible level you feel fine defending. The choice is to manage it or be a slave to it.

The choice is to own it and figure out why it’s there to begin with, in order to give you options in deciding what to do about it.

The only way to truly give up an addiction is to have the desire to do so first. You must see it as not being fun anymore. You must see it for what it is.

You must be totally committed to the choice to never use again. Making someone go to rehab has a low probability of removing the specific addiction/s. One must make the choice of their own free will if the addiction is to be broken.

I made a commitment to not drink because I never wanted my children to see me drunk ever again. I made that decision after they saw me throwing up drunk on the side of the road. I felt as if I was a bad dad.

While I still drink on rare occasion, I have gotten drunk one time since that night.

That one time was at a party with no children present and my kids were gone for the weekend. I was so embarrassed by my behavior, I never drink more than 3. Those 3 drinks might give me a buzz, however I never will allow myself to get drunk.

I never went AA. I never sought out a support group or counseling.

I took ownership of it and took my power back.

In my mid 20’s I developed a prescription pain pill addiction as a result of an injury that became a source of chronic pain. I dislocated two ribs between my right shoulder blade and my spine. At the time I had no insurance and was not making enough money to afford a DR.

It was 2 months before I had the injury looked at and another year before it was treated. As a result I had developed scarring in the muscle under my right shoulder blade and it became a daily source of pain. My average pain level was 5 on good days, an 8 on bad days and on average between 6 and 7 using the 1-10 pain scale.

I am not sure there is an adequate way to describe what living with chronic pain is. If you have never dealt with chronic pain, it is difficult to imagine a physical pain that never goes away.

I sustained more soft tissue back injuries over the years and my short leg was causing the nerves to get twisted up in my lower spine. It also had caused twisting in the muscles and my spine.

If you have never experienced chronic pain, there is no way to describe the feeling of temporary relief from that pain. I had made the decision to give up prescription pain killers after I gave up drinking.

I gave up the pills with the cigarettes and coffee all on the same day while still married to my second wife. I went back to coffee after a few days. Over the next several years my pain level steadily increased, however I still have yet to use prescription pain killers to this day except on one occasion. I felt hung-over the next day and haven’t taken anything harder than ibuprofen in 5 years.

At age 36 I found myself driving a taxi. At the end of my shifts when I got home it was frequent that I could barely stand to be on my feet long enough to make it into the house.

The pain in my lower back was a ten. I started using marijuana for pain relief. It wasn’t doing much due to the level of pain I was in. By this time in my life my daily pain was an 8 on average. My good days were the 6 and 7’s and the bad days felt like 11.

I still refused to use prescription painkillers because of my past addiction and not wanting to relive it even though my life had become a torture chamber and it was my own body that was torturing me.

It was during the next 3 years I developed a psychological addiction to marijuana. I still use marijuana medicinally and on occasion I smoke for recreational use with intent. Most of the marijuana smoking I do is medicinal and I do not smoke enough to get high or stoned.

I also prefer strains that have a lower psychoactive effect.

At this time I have difficulty finding the strains I know work best for me medicinally. Due to this I measure out what I am smoking based on the effect the strain I am using has. I take the view of looking at it as dosages based on desired result and known effects of the strain I am using.

I would prefer to have 4 strains available for medicinal use. I have ADHD to the extreme. I need one strain that assists with focus and does not get me high so I can be productive. I need a strain that is strong and turns my brain to mush so I can sleep through the night and get the rest I need. Without it I skim sleep and wake frequently through the night and never get much rest.

The other two strains are for the same purposes and there to have something to switch back and forth to keep my tolerance lower for these strains. I have found just as with any other substance, continued use of one strain will build a tolerance and it will take higher doses of that substance to gain the desired result.

In walks addiction.

My life has shown me I am prone to addictive behavior. I own it and manage it to attempt to not develop unhealthy behaviors that go along with the things I use to deal with life or escape it on occasion. Before I could ever manage it myself I had to acknowledge the choice was mine and if I want to abuse, I will and no one can stop me except for me.

Even in the act of reaching out for someone to tell you not to do what you are thinking, you are making the choice to deter the desire over simply giving into it.

I understand addiction because I’m an addict and I live with my addictions and own them for what they are and manage them to reduce the harm they can and will inflict upon me and my life.

I’m still dealing with chronic pain as the muscles in my body adjust to the lengthening of my short leg, however now my daily average is 5 and on good days it’s a 4 and I barely notice it and on bad days it’s an 8 and I meditate most of the day to escape the pain.

I had lived with my twisted physical form for 39 years and it has been 2 and a half years since the day I had finished the internal process of lengthening my leg and fixing my oversize hip.

That is 39 years of muscle retraining I am in the middle of still. I am still a ways off from full recovery and I am not sure if I will ever fully physically recover.

How many people do you know that have done this to themselves?

I do know that I am in much less pain and I manage it much better than I used to. I also feel good about the way I manage myself in avoiding addictive behavior and use of self-discipline and exercising my power of choice. Or to say I never once bought into the idea that a lot recovery programs use in giving it over to a higher power.

If God resides within everything and everyone, than we are our higher power and that power is the power to choose for ourselves.

If I had the personal will power to break my own addictions by choice and stay clean, anyone can do it. I feel anything else is a cop out or attempt to take the idea of having that kind of power over your life away.

I want to add this piece from poet Marianne Williamson:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. You’re playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Enough said on addiction and your power to be an addict or not is your power to choose.

You and The Big U

Understanding through deconstruction

I use the term The Big U for the connection to God, The Universe or whatever helps you sleep better at night. Here’s why.

Mind = Flesh

Soul = What powers the flesh.

Spirit = The higher self connection to God, The Universal Consciousness, whatever helps you sleep better at night.

Now if we get a little more detailed and stay in the base view that is Psychospirilosophy I think we might be able to explain this in a way that will clear it up for some of you that made it abundantly clear to me how simple life is.

Mind and soul are the small you.

Your Higher self is the Big U.

I pray to the I am that I am to provide for my life. 

I am asking my higher self to let Gods will move through me to fulfill the desires I have.

I ask The Big U to drop whatever you need to heal your soul in your lap. 

I am asking your higher self to help you out on your behalf because I see the need for the healing only you can do for you and you are not connecting for some reason to the guidance within.

Can someone please explain to me why we need religion in any form?

I remembered my Gandhi last night.

God has no religion. 

It’s as Lynyrd Skynyrd put it.

All you need is in your soul. 

Within your soul is the connection to God you will never find out here. Within you is the power to save yourself by allowing yourself to be guided from within to those with similar view and values that will support you in your being.

The Big U guides the little you from within you if you know how to listen.

If not call a Shaman, it’s what we do, we teach you how to listen to yourself.

They say “The Devil is in the details”

Here’s why that is a true statement.

If knowledge is power than wisdom is understanding.

That’s an original Max J. Carter quote.

I have been using that for several years after spending more than 15 with the riddle if knowledge is power than what is wisdom?

I posed this riddle to many over those 15 years as I also spent time in inner refection with it myself.

Wisdom understands which knowledge is the false details of complexity that is The Devil’s tool to keep you from the simplicity of understanding.

They have done research studies to back up what I’m about to say.

If you feel the need to argue, ask yourself why and act accordingly.

Intelligent people do not do well in school.

It takes a lower level intellect to memorize for a test later. The science has come back on this. It is a fact and not an opinion.

The higher the level of intellect the greater the desire to use what is presented as a jumping off point. The higher the intellect the greater the desire for simplicity.

It takes a simple mind to make something complex so that it can feel good about itself in showing off.

It takes a complex mind to make it as simple as possible so that more can be stored.

When you allow yourself to get bogged down in the details of knowledge you give up memory space. You fill your hard drive with knowledge that could have been better saved for future understanding.

The search for knowledge alone is a fools quest as it limits the true power of the mind for creative exploration and expression.

To seek understanding is to seek wisdom and allows you to apply what knowledge is truly needed and simplify concepts to simple understandings. It is allowing for the mysterious ways of God and the beautiful bliss of ignorance. The more you learn the more you understand how evil it is to live.

I have a gift of sight that removes the beautiful ignorant bliss life can be. There is a bliss that can be found within and it’s not easy to find. One must remove all ignorance to embrace the beauty of the truth.

God is love and we are made manifest of that love to be that love in various forms we call individuality.

The Devil is in every detail that removes that understanding from our minds.

For The Devil there is no greater joy to steal than that of inner exploration and self realization of what lives within each and every one of us.

God is that feeling that comes from within when everything feels right.

The Devil is in the outer details that tell you why you should ignore that feeling.

A simple understanding that you either have the experience to understand or you are going to see what some book says to explain it further or let it settle in and let go for a while and see what bubbles up on the topic.

The choice is always yours to seek within to find understanding or to seek out here and be tempted by every Devilish detail.

Have fun with whatever you choose, I’m enjoying my choices.

The Law of Reflection and The Cinematic View

I wanted to get deeper into what I call The Cinematic View.

There are many rock bands that will tell you they’ve lived their THIS IS SPINAL TAP moments. For those who don’t know, the film is a fake documentary about a fake rock band on tour. Life imitates art and art imitates life.

Could it be that life and art are one in the same?

Could it be that you and I are living performance art pieces?

Could it be that there is an unseen audience watching the show we put on?

Think about how your memory leaves out huge chunks of what would be the boring stuff in life. Yet the exciting highlights and things that are character defining moments are forever caught in the highlight real that is the film of your life.

Movies and TV shows only give the highlights of the characters’ lives and often only one short piece of it at that. They leave out all the mundane day to day to stuff that the characters are normally dealing with. You know the boring hum drum routine that so many of us find ourselves in. It can have you feeling as though your life is the film GROUNDHOG’S DAY, living the same day over and over with little to no change.

The Cinematic View simply stated was beautifully illustrated by this film. To change the story, make changes in your character. It was not until the main character had made a real authentic change in himself that he was able to progress his story.

No one wants to sit around and watch me write this stuff and I don’t blame them, I am on this side and it’s the only reason I enjoy it.

How much of your life would be boring as hell to watch?

Be honest, it would be a huge chunk for most people to most people.

We thrive on dialog and action. The conversations we have and who we have them with are character refining moments. I say refining instead of defining with intent. We always have the power to change our character.

The film of life sees each of us as the star of our movie, however when we join together our role can sometimes change and it’s in these role changes that define who we are in the moment. There is no script for life and we can’t feed the lines we want to hear to the other players on the stage. The story creates itself in the moment as each speaks and the reactions and responses come forth.

Let’s say you want to be me. First I would say you have chosen the fools road to wisdom. Here’s why.

I used to tell people that the trick to being me was to talk mad shit and then try to live it. Here’s why that is a bad idea. Ever spend too much time dealing with mad shit.

I created a character that forever had a chip on his shoulder looking for anything to challenge for the sake of challenging it. I did say the fool’s road to wisdom.

I now say to live well, speak well.

Before you can learn why I changed myself you might need some of the same foolish experiences to gain the wisdom to understand why you are making certain changes in yourself.

To change your story, you have to change your character and yourself talk is how you refine who you think you are. It’s how you refine your projection to be able to better handle it being reflected back at you.

The faces on the mirrors may change as you do and that’s OK, sometimes you need new characters in order to have a new story to live.

What is it you desire most in life to do every day?

That’s the cornerstone of your character. That’s the reason for your character to even exist and have a story to tell. After you figure that out, The Big U has a way of dropping everything you need into your life to live that character to its fullest and live story worthy of remembering and sharing with others.

Who will tell the story of you?

They all will.

You leave a story of you with everyone you meet.

Yeah, but what do YOU think

Shame

I’ve spent my life in the endless discussion that is the question “Why are we here and what in the blue holy hell can we really do about it?”

I always find I enjoy finding new discussion partners who can keep it on topic and can avoid taking it or making it a personal thing. The one thing I can’t tolerate however is when someone refuses to share their thoughts and instead only spits up what they have been fed and never take the time to think and really understand it from their own unique perspective.

The ability to express yourself as yourself is the foundation of creativity. To dive within you and use your view to narrow it down to the simplest understanding you need to you get the majickal and ever elusive “it” is the gift of individuality and identity. It’s the refinement of who you think you are that is the ego expression of self also known as your identity.

That’s owning your free will and understanding the power you wield. It is the way you create your image prison that is the things you say you will and won’t do and the behavior you will and will not tolerate. Without that cage to protect you there is nothing in place to ever reject anything for any reason and you would get yourself killed real fast.

Using the Psychospirilosophy view let’s dive a little deeper shall we.

Remember all Psychospirilosophy says is that you should have a psychological understanding of why you do what you do and that you should have something spiritual in your life, whatever it is and our personal philosophies in life is the talk we say we are walking. It’s a view and a tool.

Why would you regurgitate instead of offering your own real thoughts in a discussion?

Fear.

“What if I’m wrong?”

Than you have given yourself the opportunity to learn and grow. That’s a gift that never stops giving when you really seek to understand it from within instead of playing it shallow.

“They said it better than I could.”

That is negative self talk that diminishes the light you can be. This is also a fear that is used to feed off ignorance and steal your power and your light.

To be ignorant only means you have yet to understand something from within. You have yet to have the experience to unlock the inner knowing.

We are all ignorant of a list of things.

There is no shame in ignorance.

Shame can only be found in pride. If we are too proud to claim our ignorance we live in the shame of never learning or growing.

When you take the time to discover your own unique way of seeing things you empower yourself and those around you. The example you set silently gives them permission figure out what their way of seeing it is. It allows them the opportunity to see they can refine their own ideas and still keep their individual view.

When we choose to use the words of another, we forsake our own gift of individual understanding.

We give our power to think for ourselves to someone else.

We give our ability to be a bright shining light to anyone who will take the stage in our place.

The only Meditation you’ll ever need

If you had the time to lose
An open mind and time to choose
Would you care to take a look
Or can you read me like a book

When you find yourself talking to your reflection in the mirror, you already have a good idea something is not right in your life. One of best pieces of dialog from the film HOLLOW MAN with Kevin Bacon was this line said by a character who had become invisible.

It’s amazing what you can do… when you don’t have to look at yourself in the mirror any more. …

We have all played that game of what if I was invisible what would I do?

I’m over it, so we’re not going to do that here.

To look deep within yourself takes an open mind and a patient mind to take the time to accept what is being shown to you by you for you.

I have often found this one simple meditation has done more for the thousands for people I have suggested it to than anything else they had tried.  Here’s how simple it is.

Repeat these words until you feel your body take over the breathing.

I let go of everything

Once you’re body has taken over the breathing, say this.

I go into the void of my own mind to learn what I need to know right now.

That’s it.

Can I tempt you come with me
Be Devil may care fulfill your dream
If I said I’d take you there
Would you go would you be scared

Don’t be afraid you’re safe with me
Safe as any soul can be… honestly
Just let yourself go

This meditation is a door way to allowing your higher self or your connection to the Universal Consciousness, The Big U or some might call it God that resides within each of us. It is this simple to establish that divine and sacred connection. That inner voice that you ignore and at times become fearful of is trying to get you to dive within instead of being led around by the nose out here.

You’re attempting to guide yourself to what is the best of yourself, flaws included to be something you love and embrace without giving two fucks about anyone who can’t handle who you really are. Only you can show you how to be that human being.

Anyone telling you different is trying to make a living off your ignorance.

At times it will feel like the Devil guiding you, however keep in mind we are under no obligation to be perfect and I find it’s healthy to pick the sins you like that you can live with and still look yourself in the mirror without feeling the need for one of those talks that for me starts out with “What in the blue holy fuck am I doing?”

That’s when I know I need to let myself go into my meditation so I can tell me exactly what in the blue holy fuck I am doing and what I can do about it.

Or to say I’ve been using this mediation for over 4 years myself.

Like a wolf in sheep’s clothing
You try to hide your deepest sins
Of all the things that you’ve done wrong
And I know where you belong

You’re being guided by yourself to learn to accept yourself or make changes. You will see every little dirty thing you ever did and learn to make peace with it. Think of it this way, it reinforces why there are certain things we won’t ever do again or won’t even think about doing or the things that if you don’t feel that bad about doing however may not admit to many people.

The fun part of the journey is learning you’re nowhere near as fucked up as you think you are or have been told you are.

Learning to love and accept you for who you know yourself to be is something only you can do.

The rest of us will never know you as well as you do. It is a fact and absolute truth of the human condition.

This meditation can assist in making that process more productive and faster depending on the choices you make in how you view what you show you.

Or to say once you start, there are no rules and there is only the box you create for yourself. A safe place in your mind for sanctuary that allows you to take rest during meditation instead of the endless journey of inner knowledge and understanding. A journey that will show you that no matter where you are in the progressive moment, you are exactly where you belong to learn the next lesson or live the reminder.

You put yourself in places for reasons you may not understand in the moment and it may take a while for enough pieces to fall into place for the organized chaos that is life to make sense in the big picture.

Time is always on my side

I always recommend this meditation as a sleep aid as it also sets the dream cycle for something productive and fun. Think of it as a lucid dreaming technique. It can also be used to set the beginning of doing a little Astral traveling.

Since you’re doing at bed time, the rest of your day is done and you now have no excuse.

Caught somewhere in time
Caught now in two minds!

It can feel as though you now understand what I mean about the progressive moment that never ends as time feels as though it comes to halt.

The awareness of the conscious and subconscious minds working in unison is not an easy one to get used to. However it allows for making changes in oneself happen much faster and with far greater results and less stumbling when walking the talk you lay out for yourself.

Self talk is the most important talk there is, be nice, be honest, be forgiving and accepting and talk yourself into the life you have dreamed of.

The Law of Reflection

Forget the Law of Attraction for a minute.

The Law of Reflection simply stated says the reflections show you what you really look like based on your projection. At no point do you attract anything or anyone. The mirrors are already in place. To change what’s being reflected back at you, one must change what they are projecting.

Think of life as a hall of mirrors.

Each room a creation based on what you are projecting being reflected back at you. Your projected self image is what creates the distortion in what is reflected back to you.

“No that’s not what I meant, said, intended and so on.”

When people speak back telling us what they heard and saw, it’s based on their metaphorical understanding of your words and actions. The reflection always lies because it never has all the information.

To move from one metaphorical room to the next and change the reflections you see, one must change what one is projecting.

This is where I started using what I call the Cinematic View.

Basically think of your life as a movie and the story of your life will always be within the context of your character that is your projection of self.

To allow for changes in your story you must make changes to your character.

For an example I will use myself.

I excel at lecture and writing that involves little to no interaction other than answering some questions and the occasional debate.

Debate is not conversation, it’s a fight.

Often the choice is made to debate a point based on our own experience that has become a part of our over all projection.

I have found that all conflict exists within.

As long as conflict remains we will project it to have it reflected back at us. We debate to justify our ego representation. You know your conflict is alive and well the more upset you get during the debate. The first one to call names loses and here’s why.

The only reason to resort to words designed to discredit the source is to give our ego the ability to remain intact as it is with no changes required.

I would like to take a moment to get deeper into the pool.

Everything and everyone is connected. Nothing can be attracted only reflected.

In the Law of Reflection, you must make changes in your projected self in order to be in tune with the Universe. Your vibrational frequency raises due to a pure more honest expression of you. You stay in the flow that your projection allows.

Hence the Cinematic View. It’s all about context.

When you watch a movie and the characters do or say something that doesn’t match up it throws the story off. When this happens we call it bad film making and talk a lot of shit about the quality of the film.

Typically these films get forgotten or show up winning a Golden Raspberry Award and are never considered for the Academy Award.

In case you don’t know, The Raspberry is for the worst in film.

When I look at my life, I can plainly see where I was surrounded by people who reflected back what I was projecting and as my projection has changed over the years different people popped up to reflect the refined projection back at me. I never attracted them, they were already there waiting for something to reflect back that matched their projection better.

We are all connected.

In the United States Air Force I was a communications technician. I learned how the signal never stops. This also applies to our voice which operates at zero to 4 kilohertz.

The emotion we use when speaking is felt.

Studies have shown that voice tone has more of an affect than the words we choose to use.

Regardless of whether or not the words are heard, they are always felt. This is why you get that feeling about someone you’ve never met. Whether or not you’re aware of it, they have already felt everything you ever said and you have felt their every word.

This is the basis of intuition, it’s based on a feeling.

What you are feeling is what your subconscious stored away until you met this human and now it is relevant information.

Before it was ignored and stored.

“I can’t prove it, but I feel as though you’re lying to me even though we’ve never met.”

We’ve all said it to ourselves at some point and we were most likely correct about feeling lied to. The projection of yourself includes your emotions and your intent beyond what is shown in action or spoken or written.

When we make emotionally based decisions we often do not make wise decisions.

Decisions made purely from logic also are not completely wise.

Wisdom is the balance between the two.

Knowledge is power and wisdom is understanding.

If you don’t understand the knowledge, it is a danger to you and others in your wielding of it.

There is much knowledge in the world today that once understood shows it’s falsehood, however if people do not possess the understanding they can be fooled into thinking the knowledge has value.

I say knowledge not truth.

There is an absolute truth to every single thing, however each truth has infinite expressions.

Every projection of you that is true can be reflected back in infinite forms.

Every projection built on deception will reflect that deception back to you.

You can look around at the people you interact with and start to see the you in them. A version of you that is either future or past. Not a copy a soul having a similar journey.

 

 

Sad but True

The song SAD BUT TRUE gets sung from the back seat when it comes on my shuffle. Here’s why.

Hey (hey)
I’m your life
I’m the one who takes you there
Hey (hey)
I’m your life
I’m the one who cares
They (they)
They betray
I’m your only true friend now
They (they)
They’ll betray
I’m forever there

If the subconscious mind is the operating system, this song may as well be sung from within.

How often do you feel like you know the right thing to do, however you listen other people anyway?

We are sold a harmful lie.

You can’t possibly know what’s best for you.

We tell ourselves and each other that we need to listen to what the other is saying, however we never shut up long enough to let it sink in.

Typically we listen only long enough to start saying what we wanted to in the first place.

Your subconscious mind will push your buttons from within to get you to see you know what’s best for you and to get you to start following you’re own advice.

Following your own inner voice.

I’m your dream, make you real
I’m your eyes when you must steal
I’m your pain when you can’t feel
Sad but true

I’m your dream, mind astray
I’m your eyes while you’re away
I’m your pain while you repay
You know it’s sad but true
Sad but true

I don’t know why I just did that.

How many times have you said it?

The subconscious mind will shut down the emotions in times of need. It doesn’t mean it’s not there, just set aside and ignored to get you through whatever it is until you can deal with it.

You (you)
You’re my mask
You’re my cover, my shelter
You (you)
You’re my mask
You’re the one who’s blamed
Do (do)
Do my work
Do my dirty work, scapegoat
Do (do)
Do my deeds
For you’re the one who’s shamed

The idea of who you are is nothing more than a mask used to get you through this thing we call life. It’s there so experience can be had and we can grow.

We all do things behind our backs in front of our faces.

The subconscious mind understands that all that exists is decisions and consequences. We program ourselves to feel guilty or not to feel guilty about any given thing we do.

The idea of who we are evolves as the desire for new experiences evolves. We become that which will allow us to have the experience.

It’s the idea of who we are that we project that has to deal with it. The mask is what speaks and the mask speaks to the mask.

Hate (hate)
I’m your hate
I’m your hate when you want love
Pay (pay)
Pay the price
Pay, for nothing’s fair

Hey (hey)
I’m your life
I’m the one who took you there
Hey (hey)
I’m your life
And I no longer care

We find ourselves in the state of wanting love and hating instead because we hate ourselves for what we have become. Only when we become that which we would love ourselves in the opposite sex do we find who we truly are.

For me that’s a woman who is a workaholic and very intelligent. She takes no shit and could be considered to be borderline narcissist with the faith she has in herself based on the life she has lived. She has taste and class but knows when to use the fuck for fucks sake. A woman who has a hard time finding anyone who can keep up with her mind.

Yes I am describing myself as a woman and yes I realize that has some narcissistic overtones. However that also means a woman who helps out simply because she is there and she can.  A woman who let’s her passion get away with her at times. A woman people don’t really know because she chooses what she shows very carefully.

With as much of my life and myself as I expose in my writing I hold back quite a bit as well.

You know you have gotten the breadth of experience you wanted out of life when you no longer care what you do.

That’s when trying to find and give meaning to your life becomes your only reason to live. Was it all worth it to get to where I am now?

Now what?

When people retire they hit that place where life becomes and endless search to alleviate the boredom.

I’m your truth, telling lies
I’m your reason, alibis
I’m inside, open your eyes
I’m you

Sad but true

No one can screw with or level with you better than you can.

No one can get you on and off the hook like you can.

Simply be you and be true and you never find yourself on a hook or needing a story to tell.

It is possible to change the program up and make changes in the operating system and that takes work and there is no quick hit fix I could give you in this piece. That’s something I teach one on one. The lessons are different for each based on who you are right now.

You know you got it right when your reflection pops up and slaps you in the face one day and you say thank you.

Whisper if you feel me.

It’s in the way that you use it

Eric Clapton is a legend in his own time. The first time I heard IT’S IN THE WAY THAT YOU USE IT, I was watching the movie THE COLOR OF MONEY. It was one of Tom Cruise’s earlier films and costarred Paul Newman.

The song fit the films themes well. The song fits life well. Here’s why.

Nobody’s right till somebody’s wrong.
Nobody’s weak till somebody’s strong.
No one gets lucky till luck comes along.
Nobody’s lonely till somebody’s gone.

I don’t watch TV. Instead I get involved with or lead discussions in a group online of over 500,000 people worldwide. I enjoy the exploration of ideas and seeing how many different views come out that are basically saying the same thing in different ways based on how each individual has come to understand it.

I’m odd.

I like that about me. Hungarians are known for their individualistic approach to life and work at being different from the crowd. We cherish the gift of individuality. To be as we choose because we choose.

I’ve found the need to be right often stems from low self esteem. We feel weak and want to feel strong. We feel strong when we are right and they are wrong.

At times we don’t feel our weakness. We hide from it. No one likes to feel weak. It sucks. We will unconsciously look for ways to make ourselves feel strong by being right.

We will fight and argue to the bitter end to try and get rid of this weak feeling by scoring a victory in a verbal sparing with anyone.

We feel weak and want to feel strong.

The difference between being alone and being lonely is choice. I often prefer to be alone. It’s my choice. When someone chooses to leave and chooses to not be around, well, depending on who it is and why, it can leave me feeling lonely.

We all go through it.

It’s in the way that you use it,
It comes and it goes.

And if you lie you will lose it,
Feelings will show.
So don’t you ever abuse it,
Don’t let it go.

Our idea of who we are, our expression of self, our ego can come and go depending on how we use it.

Allowing your projection of self to be anything less then an authentic expression shows the feeling we try to hide under the mask that is our current expression of self.

When you lie you lose who are to be who you fabled yourself to be. We lie when we feel weak and we feel if we don’t, our weakness will show.

There is a fine line between a healthy and unhealthy ego expression. It’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance. On one side of the line is confidence backed by experience of things one has actually done or is actually doing currently. Arrogance is what one thinks one might be able to do with no experience to back it up.

Arrogance is abusing the ego expression and using it to bolster ourselves and feel superior in some way for some reason.

Confidence is simply letting you know what one is capable of based on experience and is only expressing it to be of service.

If you look at your life you will see when your ego comes and goes. When you act from a place of empathy and forgo thinking of yourself first in, your ego goes into hiding until needed.

We hold onto our ego, to the idea of who we are in order to have individuality, however it’s not a license to be an asshole.

Whisper if you feel me.