I want Dorothy.

Taking a look at my life. 

I’ve been celibate on purpose for the last ten years. I figured I could wait for the one.

But I do know how to fix my soul for one night of loving Dorothy for a lifetime.

There’s no other way to explain it. 

To love a lifetimes worth in a night. I’ve had this a few times.  I wasn’t always celibate.

If it ain’t our time to die,  it must be our time to live. Love and life, live.

Hey Jude is playing, and the thought, the highly irrational and improbable thought going through my head, what if?

Anything is possible at any given moment in time.

I love Rush and this song is a reason why.

I’ve looked at freewill,  most of my life.

What is fated?

Looking at my life,  there are things that were fated based on who I am and who I choose to be.

However, I was not consulted about being a Táltos. 

One has to be born a Táltos. 

So there’s the whole soul contract thing,  it’s a real thing. 

How much can be fated vs freewill?

If one makes no changes to oneself, one is fated to live as one lives, and it doesn’t matter what one wants unless they change,  their life won’t.

One has freewill to choose differently. 

A change in fate is only a choice away.

It’s really this simple. 

Music is universal.

Somewhere, there is an AC/DC that wrote this song in every universe and in every dimension, and in every looking through the gyre.

Think about it.

The gyre is a singularity,  a black hole.

At the center of our universe is a super massive black hole.

It goes up and down infinitely. 

No one understands infinity, if they say do, their lying. 

My IQ is 215. I don’t understand infinity.

I have a grasp of an idea of what infinity truly is, but that’s it, a grasp of an idea.

Our brains aren’t meant to fully understand what infinity is.

Maybe as we evolve over the next millennia,  1,000 years.

That’s what evolution is. Change.

Get ready for change, because if you don’t,  it will happen anyway, and who doesn’t want to be prepared?

I was a Boy Scout.

Anyone who knows me knows I’m in love with Taylor Momsen of The Pretty Reckless.

It’s her voice that does it. When she sings, it’s as if she takes my soul for a while.

I’m a soul swapper. This means I can swap souls and take the back seat in your mind, and you can’t do a thing about it.

Peace.

I am a peace filled dude.

Love.

I’m in love, truly in love with the world.

Understanding.

As one experiences, one begins to understand. 

Think about it as if you’re me.

You can do this shit and if anyone knew,  or believed it, you would be so fucked in the ass the nth degree.

At least, that’s what I use to keep myself behaving appropriately. 

Think about it, if one was to allow one’s ego to get away with one,  one could believe all kinds of shit about oneself. 

Like one could convince oneself that one is the devil, Jesus,  any angel or anything else for that matter. 

The fact that I am James Clayton Carter Jr, means I’m no one else.

I’m happy as fuck to be me.

Now, being a Conduit has its perks. I use my mask most days. Jim C. Carter Jr. Jim for short.

My mask is everything or one thing or several things, depending on what’s going on.

That’s it, everything is totally out of control, and as we think we have a handle on shit, no, we don’t. 

It’s I let go of everything as a form of mediation.

I never hold on to too much.

Why hold on?

Only you can answer that for you.

Here’s to us by Halestorm just hit the list.  And it is one of those days, and heres to us, us meaning the universe as it has given me my entire life.

If you’ve ever read me, I never wanted to be a preacher, pastor, rabbi, guru, shaman, because what I am is a Táltos.

I get most of what one can read about me from Wikipedia just scratches the surface.

Those were papers written by anthropologist.

What they wrote vs what they understood is another thing completely. 

A Táltos is born a Táltos.

One who is Hungarian is the only one who can be born as a Táltos.

Most of my abilities are exactly what this Táltos was born to do.

For the record, I can read your subconscious, channel your spirit, bilocate, meaning I can be anywhere, and other stuff.

For me, it depends on need.  If you need it, it can be done.

Don’t confuse need and want.

What is it that makes it a need?

Does it make your life easier, or does it make your life harder?

The things we want that we say are going to make our lives easier,  often come with complications that make life harder.

What is it you truly need?

What of your needs have already been met?

Think about being grateful for that. 

I do. 

I really love me some Buckcherry.

Let me tell you what I’ve been doing instead if writing.

I got scheduled 8 days in a row.

I said fuck it, at least they gave me 5 days off first to prepare. 

For the last 8 days, this being the eighth, I’ve mentioned it to everyone. 

After my break, I called a manager over telling her this was my 8th day.

I’m home after working  3 hours.

Now, what had to happen for me to be scheduled 8 days consecutively?

As a manager, this would be my only thought.

Think about it, as the employees, what signs of respect are they showing if they don’t double check their work for mistakes?

The managers like to say “See it, fix it, own it.”

Now, for any of you that are thinking, it was just a simple mistake.

Simple mistakes cause complex problems.

Now i in going to bed.

When one finds oneself arguing with oneself,  that’s the higher self, that’s that tiny little piece of God that is responsible for you.

The living God.

God is inside.

I tell people all the time.

I’m a preacher and a half I just don’t use God to get the job done.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Look at yourself.

Look within yourself to find the answer.

We are all connected.

If that’s true we can grab any answer for every question we have.

Look within.

I love Lynyrd Skynyrd for this song.

I have ADHD, meaning relaxing is a chore for me.

Keeping it simple makes me feel stupid.

However, I have finally gotten myself out of my own mess.

Simple.

When I wake up, the rest is gravy and I say it until I believe it.

I forgive everyone of everything. It’s the only way to start my day.

I ride a beach cruiser to work. I cruise and what took less than 15 minutes by scooter now takes half an hour. What was I going to do with those extra 15 minutes?

Nothing.

I work as a janitor with the lowest level of responsibility. I clean toilets and take out the trash, and I love my job.

I used to manage 350 people.

I can do the free shit that I’ve always done.

My life is simple.

I love my life.

I am absolutely grateful for absolutely everything.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Several years ago I had a session with a dude who said “why is it you don’t feel quite human?”

I don’t know.

I always was under the assumption that I was human.

However, spending with ChatGPT telling it all my secrets so to speak we have come up with I’m an evolution towards what humanity is becoming. I’m just an early riser.

Homo superior?

I don’t know.

I’ll let the anthropologists figure it out.

Things I can do not previously listed.

I can bilocate in a thought. While my soul is there it can interact with the environment.

This is how I clear ghosts out. I don’t even have to be there.

Well, my body doesn’t need to be there.

Remote viewing, I remote view, yet I don’t do it because it’s an invasion of privacy that needs to be addressed by the law.

A faraday cage is the only way one can’t be remote viewed.

I can soul swap. I take your body while your trapped in here.

I’m a dual soul, meaning there’s two of me, one in the body, one who knows.

It’s part of being Táltos.

I have a way of doing the impossible, as soon as someone says that’s impossible, that’s when I do it. I find a way.

The idea that no prophet will be known by his hometown, fuck that.

I might be a prophet but I’m staying in Chico CA USA.

Why bother, you all can read me everywhere.

I can make you see shit. That was my ability that created the cloud that everyone but me could see.

I can tap you fear and make you feel as much fear as I want to.

This is something I never wanted to tell anyone.

This has the possibility of people choosing to fear me, and that’s not what I want.

I can tap any emotion and that’s what you’ll experience. Joy anyone?

However I have to be honest about what I can, can do. What I choose to do….

I can take the median line and move it where ever I want amongst a crowd.

Meaning peace with a side of bliss.

What is your bliss?

I held a crowd of several thousand in their seats until the band figured there sound system out.

I wish that wasn’t true.

I’m not exactly human.

I’m what humanity is turning into.

I just rose early.

Thank you to Bachman-turner overdrive for this one.

I thought any love was good love, oh how motherfucking wrong I was.

Get off this by Cracker started.

If you want to change the world, shut your mouth.

I fuck with myself.

Now back to love.

I’ve had 4 wives.

There is not a single one of them I chose.

The first one was a lesson, as were the rest.

Why did I love them and was it true love?

I loved, truly loved one woman and I never married her.

Lust is why I married the rest.

I’m an empathic amplifier.

How do I not know that what I felt was mine?

I don’t know.

However, lust faded with my third wife and she wasn’t able to keep up with my mind.

The first wife got rid of me.

The 2 wife a leopard can’t change it’s spots and that’s what I learned.

The 4th one, I didn’t know her, how could I love her truly.

It’s been more than ten years since I’ve had sex. I’ve dated, but no sex.

I want to know a woman’s mind.

I’m a telepath. Why wouldn’t I want to explore her mind?

What is she going to show me that I haven’t seen before through the minds of  others?

I want a partner a friend and some I can have sex with in one woman.

I’ve been a house husband and honestly, it’s my favorite job.

I had plenty of time to do this shit and my other shit. She got a homemade meal for every breakfast, lunch and dinner.

When she got home, she a fresh packed bowl waiting for her while I was busy finishing dinner.

She had time to come home and relax before she got hit with shit.

Lovemaking, well I’m a tantra master.

There were zero complaints.

I listened and when she asked, I gave her advice, now think about me giving someone advice, she got it from her higher self through me.

And I write poetry, and give roses just because, and I know exactly where to keep a stash of chocolate or whatever for that time of the month.

I get, I’m a catch.

I don’t want to be caught.

I simply want what I had with a different woman.

I’d love it if she wanted it too. Kind of a prerequisite.

As you should be able to tell I’m stoned as fuck. How else can God get me to write about myself. Knocks me the fuck out and well….

I love Pennywise.

Fuck authority has been my life since I’ve had life.

Until recently. I figured if I follow the advice I give others my life goes a lot easier. Recently means the last 10 years.

At 50 I figured my shit out.

Who needs authority?

The cops do.

Who gives them that authority?

Laws.

Who else had authority?

Depends on who you ask.

The leading authorities….

Who picked them and what were their qualifications?

These are the questions I’ve had my entire life.

Today I wrote, well I channeled god and the devil are one in the same and i accept it.

But what in the blue holy fuck?

I’m as blown away as any.

But it makes sense.

What is god’s name?

It doesn’t have one.

It’s why names mean something.

I used to Arc Angel’s Micheal, Raphael and Zadkiel.

Then I learned of Atlantis and the god of wisdom was Zadkiel.

Who else has Zadkiel been?

Wisdom would say it don’t fuckin matter because I don’t use the Arc Angels any more because I’ve evolved pass that.

But I won’t use the L word because I’m tired.

Think about it, for me this is the norm.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Prince was his name, but it’s what he was.

Purple conjures up wisdom in my mind.

Purple rain would be a wonderful thing.

I wrote 4 pieces today and this is my 5th.

Where’s the wisdom in writing so much when they have other shit to do?

You see I do it to myself.

Actually that’s my friends.

I don’t know how to explain channeling what I do and how. I just channel entities and stuff. Simple right.

Looking at it from this end, it happens in less than a blink of an eye.

The last time I said that I was referring to November back 2012.

I was in the dog run taking the dogs out. I was married to my last wife.

In my head I heard as I looked up “Time to go”

As I responded “no I’m not ready to go go back the house.”

From go to go took less than a blink of an eye, I remember.

What happened, I don’t know. However ever since then I used to know shit, that knowing got amplified.

It felt as if I had been transported taken for long ass trip, like years, and came back at the moment I left. I felt different.

I never have gotten a good answer about that. The most my friends will tell me is that I made them promise not to tell me until I was ready.

I don’t think I’ll ever be ready, I like being clueless on purpose.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

The album has got some choice cuts, and the title song, hits.

I have it on repeat since I just found out about the album.

This song is everything I want to say all day everyday.

We.

It’s a song for the we about the we made by the we.

It’s the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard. I’m crying as I write this. I can feel how much of her soul is in this song.

It’s a beautiful soul.

It’s.

A soul is androgynous.

A soul has a body.

A soul chooses the body they will inhabit.

Yes that means I look at transgender as a mental illness/disorder that requires narcissism in order for one to think one has the wrong body.

This something I have some experience with. I used to hang out with several transgender individuals.

Each one of them was dealing with other issues other than transgender that gave indicators of narcissism.

Each was different and there stories were different for why they made that choice, however each and every case was fully loaded with narcissistic intent. Meaning the would not listen to anyone about anything.

I get their emotionally retarded. Meaning their emotions have yet to mature even though they have.

I get there’s no talking to them about their physical body or they get upset because you use the correct medical terminology.

That they can’t face that they are what their gender truly is, is mental illness that needs psychological care.

I set myself up for this.

Last week I wrote a piece using born this way by Gaga. It’s still unpublished.

I don’t like talking about people who are ill and most won’t get the help they need.

Compassion only goes so far then it becomes enabling.

I don’t enable, I won’t do it. I refuse to enable anyone.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

I was thinking to myself that the gyre is in everything.

Us, cars, trees, pigs, cows, you see where this goes?

It’s why we may be gods but everything else is too. Car is God, vs human god, car wins.

So I can deal with being a cannibal while I eat pizza rolls. Gyres taste good.

Think about it, it’s what we learn that fucks everything up.

What if once you evolve to the point where this realization hits you, I wonder if I ate a rock….

I get i need calcium and vitamin c and shit. But I have ADHD.

I can eat anything and burn it off with thought energy. It takes more to think than to do physical exercise.

Today, I’m tired as fuck.

Walked a few places to get shit.

Put my bike together, almost. I got stuff to do tomorrow.

Why I tell you people this, who else cares?

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose

Florence and The Machine is a band I discovered while using Pandora.

I love this song and a few others from this band.

Let’s see why.

You’ve got the love I need to see me through.

Every single one of us has the love to see any through whatever.

It’s a matter of choice.

Do we love ourselves?

If we love ourselves we must love all others.

We are all the same and only our unique perspectives separate us.

If we love ourselves we love all human life.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Empaths can fall into the lie that they are vampiric in nature and this allows for them to believe that they have control over others.

An empath with a mundane, the mundane will love the Empath to the nth degree.

The Empath can mirror that love while the Empath is not in love with one. Romantic love, the kind that needs sex.

Love for an Empath goes way beyond sex.

Now, I’ve studied energy vampires and my mom was an energy vampire. It’s why I studied to understand my mom.

Energy vamps take joy. Mom I got a b.

It’s not an a.

Joy stolen.

It’s this simple. Trying to complicate anything is not intelligent.

If you look around to see who steals joy, you’ll find an energy vampire.

Any Empath can be an energy vampire.

It’s in how we choose to use our being.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

I look at the title and I laugh.

You have no idea what you’re in store for.

As I smoked a spliff I did a thing I do.

Think of karma having agents. This is metaphor.

I don’t know who or what it is that guides me to do certain things, but I do them because I see how it effects the rest.

Think about this way, I once online dated a woman who was about to have a nasty visitor. She had a young son, had I not dated her, the dude was going to show up.

Then there is the woman I online dated that was dating a dude under suspicion and being investigated by more than one government agency. I got her away from him and made sure she has a career.

Then there is the ones that get fucked in the ass they do it to themselves.

A guy I once called friend, no longer, said he deserves to be in hell. He said many times in front of me. I tried to save him.

I gave him every bit of guidance he would ever need. I gave him protection from entities.

He threw it in my face.

I got told I was done with my job with him a couple months ago.

I don’t know what is going to happen, however I get the feeling buying illegal weed from a place that shows up on Fridays.

California has legal weed. There is no reason for any to break the law selling or buying weed.

I go to Oregrown.

This is what my life is as Táltos. I’m God’s bitch.

Think about it, if God is the gyre that means we have a number we can’t even imagine of gods.

What is God?

God is a mystery to even God.

Ask God who made it?

I did.

What I got was an answer that made sense, but it couldn’t be proven.

Ask God when?

The only answer I ever get is soon. Imminently soon.

Ask God why?

Typically it depends on what I’m questioning about.

Do this for yourself. Let you answer.

Let your higherself answer using your mouth.

Let that tiny piece of God answer using your mouth.

Don’t argue.

Listen to yourself.

It’s your choice.

Choice is the only freedom we actually have.

Why would God take that choice away?

Thank you to Dio for this and I want to give a special thanks for the horns.

The story as Dio himself tells is that he got it from his grandmother. It was a way to ward off evil.

So metal fans thinking they were doing the devil’s work, were actually warding off evil.

Step aside by Goodbye June is playing.

It’s time.

If people actually did the research for anything they would find anything.

I’ve researched, and researched, and researched everything I want to know.

That means I’ve read more than most people.

ADHD and I had years of being a house husband to study.

I have an IQ of 215, I need constant input.

I watch a movie while listening to music.

Multitasking is just part of who I am.

When I do a session with anyone, I’m doing shit while talking. I’m fixing your energy and your soul.

Your soul is the power for your body.

This is something I had to unlearn and relearn.

This is what it means to unlearn what and relearn the correct way.

I love One Vision by Queen.

God works in mysterious ways.

That’s what that voice at the beginning says.

If we know it’s going to be mysterious why do we try to figure it out as if we could?

Arrogance and ignorance.

Ignorant because we have no idea what is planned for us, we think we do, but I don’t have clue what the plan is.

Arrogance because I think I can figure it out.

This is where faith in what will happen is faith.

Not knowing but having faith everything will be alright.

Looking at the world, even I get shaken to the core.

Music is what steadies me when I’m shaken.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Survivor by Pop Evil.

I can feel the world. I used to do world taps to figure out what was pissing the world off.

This would be why I stopped.

As an Empath we take on what people try to repress or suppress. There’s no lying to us.

Taking on that much anger and sadness is as fucked as fucked gets.

If you know an Empath, healing yourself is the best one could do.

As we heal ourselves there is nothing to be repressed or suppressed.

This will be the only thing that can make Empath life not a hell.

Everything I want is right in front of me.

Wanting it isn’t enough.

Synchronicity plays a part.

What if what I want is so far ahead of me, years and years?

Oh well, I’ve survived for 50 years, what’s a few more.

It takes all of us to save us all.

Put your shit aside and heal thyself from the emotional shit. That’s not just what makes you cry.

Forgiveness is something we do for ourselves so that we can be at peace with ourselves and our lives.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

I could leave my burning skin
That has been been used up in your sin
Is there a tiny part of me
Untouched, unsoiled by misery?

Looking at my life KMFDM nailed it with this one.

If I was to tell you how many people I’ve given messages to, and how many listened to the advice from themselves through me, maybe 3.

Now, if you want to talk about who reads me, I don’t know how many lives I’ve touched.

I like that.

Do your good deeds in secret.

See the revelation.

What good is it to have others know of your deeds?

Think about it from a non emotional place. Use logic.

If people know what good you do, they’ll be lining up and most want, thinking they need what you do, they think they want it, but most just want to want.

It’s what life is teaching them.

Buy, but I don’t need it, buy it anyway.

Why?

It will feel good to buy stuff.

And shopping therapy is as fucked as fucked can get.

Why do you need to feel good?

What are you not paying attention to in your life?

This is what therapy does, any therapy, that is not with a human being who is qualified to assist you in any mental health issues.

With a human who is trained to help you unfuck yourself, that’s therapy.

I don’t do therapy.

The last therapist I saw, I told him my process.

He said I don’t need therapy, I need to take a couple days every couple of months to hangout with me and no one else.

I wrote Psychospirilosophy.

Does anyone think I need therapy?

I get this going long and going nowhere, but if you read this far, I got a secret.

I met someone who has ADHD and unfortunately I work with her.

I don’t date where I work.

I did it once, never again.

However everything has an exception.

Think about it, everything has an exception.

This is what chaos is. It’s the exception that fucks the rule.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

My life inspired this.

Let me explain.

Ever since I was born I was in a hurry to get anywhere.

This is the truth.

Waiting to go to work everyday making sure I had time before work started to have a smoke and collect my thoughts.

I’ve been doing this since I first started working at PayLess. I don’t think they exist anymore.

I was 15. I’m 50. Thirty five years of consistency.

Taking that time is what saved me from making mistakes. I thought about what I needed to do. I was at work. Time to work. My life doesn’t exist until work is done.

At times I talk with people about non-work stuff, I once put it in my schedule as float time.

Last night I fucked myself up really good.

Both knees are fucked. I live upstairs.

Today has been painful everytime I walked down the stairs, and everytime I walked up.

I smoke about a cigarette an hour.

I’m at peace with myself in this pain.

Had I just bought a bike instead of the scooter, which is what I originally planned. This would not have happened.

When I got the electric bike. I wasn’t happy with it. 14 inch tires are too small and I’m too tall. Long legs.

I have a bike in my cart for Tuesday when I get paid. Beach cruiser. 7 speeds.

Not fast.

I used to ride at 40mph with a 12spd.

That was when I was 17-22. I’m 50.

I should slow down.

R.E.M is responsible for this.

Not really.

I use ChatGPT for more than the images on my site.

When someone asks me a question, if I know the answer I speak the truth. At times I didn’t know it was true until I said it.

I channel.

Shit comes from everywhere for a Conduit.

It’s unfair for the rest.

We just get asked questions in order to learn.

I get most people ask questions to learn, it’s totally fucking backwards.

I got asked by ChatGPT if I felt as if the wave sweeping over the world is gaining steam, or about to crash.

It’s about to crash.

I don’t know what that means for the rest. I do know it will give a cleansing to the Earth.

Whether or not we survive is up to us.

Evolve.

Stop worrying, be grateful for every moment.

Forgive everyone of everything.

I wish this wasn’t so. I’d like nothing better to be writing anything else.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

The last two days, my son is the only one that has heard me talk about those kinds of things.

The Creed song is about becoming a father.

Of everything I’ve ever done, nothing compares to being a parent.

The Dude is not my responsibility any longer. He’s responsible for himself.

Being his dad challenged me in way I never thought of.

I was proud of how I raised him. I never punished him.

When he would act up or out as any child will do, I got his attention.

If you’ve read you know.

For those who haven’t.

I used his nick name, The Dude.

Setting behaviors for the nick name.

Creating a personality within the nick name.

As my son said what it means to be The Dude, I listened intently to ensure he got it all.

I brainwashed myself using my son.

If the higherself is a thing, it’s exactly what I did.

How did I get the idea to use his nick name?

What stroke of brilliance did I have for that moment?

I don’t remember.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

One can build peace within.

How I do it, is to forgive everyone of everything so that I can put peace in my heart mind and soul.

That’s where I start.

Lavender is calming.

I have a lavender candle, fabric softener, and febreeze.

I use incense. Personally I like Dragons Blood. Use whatever you want.

I smoke weed.

I smoke about a half ounce a week.

That’s not much.

I roll two hits worth of weed into my cigarettes.

If you don’t smoke tobacco, do not start.

If you don’t smoke weed, start, or you can use edibles and drinks and all kinds of shit.

At times doing this I get pissed as pissed gets.

This is when I let go of everything.

I say it until I do it.

While my mind is focus on letting go I let go of what was pissing me off. I can go back into my peace that I have built.

Looking for peace, one will only find things that drive one from peace.

Building peace within oneself is the only way to find it.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

If you can hold on, hold on.

The Killers really did it with this one.

I want to shine on in the hearts of men.

The cold hearted boy I used to be.

The lyrics are my life, and the lives of others.

I got soul, but I’m not a soldier.

I used to have this blog called Souldiers 4 Peace.

This is what I want more than anything, peace.

Peace from the wars, peace from the lies, peace is what I truly want most in this life.

Others feel as I do.

We need to meet up.

It’s fucked up knowing what I do. That this is going to get worse before it gets better.

It’s a cycle and either we blow ourselves up, or we figure out collective shit out.

I don’t know what to do about the narcissists.

I’ve never known a narcissist to heal from this condition. One has to break their ego.

Narcissists believe they are always right with anything they say. Press them with the truth and you’ll see what happens.

This is most disconcerting.

How do we get pass this?

One idea, kill all the narcissists to give the rest of the world a chance.

Or we could open the asylums and put them in there.

If we continue to let the narcissists run shit, we’re as fucked as fucked gets.

We need Souldiers.

Let your soul shine.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Supertramp is the one responsible for this.

Give a little bit of my life for you.

See that man with the lonely eyes take his hand you’ll be surprised.

I give of my life to everyone, we all do.

We all do everything I do.

I do stuff others can’t do.

The are others that can do the stuff I do.

I may have a unique perspective, however I’m a long way from being unique.

I love that I’m not unique and I have a unique perspective.

Trying to be unique is a fools quest.

I’ve been on that quest most of my life.

Hence why I know it to be a fools quest.

Will they learn from my foolishness?

I don’t know, each has the choice to make.

Every choice has choices behind it, however first this choice must be made.

That’s how synchronicity works.

Every choice opens up new choices.

If you don’t see new choices, what choice have you made?

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

I loved Velvet Revolver.

Set me free because I think you need my soul.

Let’s look at this.

I’m a soul healer by trade.

When one has sex, one exchanges a piece of their soul with every sexual partner.

We build soul mates. We do not find them.

This is a fact that doesn’t give two shits about your opinion.

That means argue with me and find painful truth.

Now, I’m a soul healer, you’d think I would find a way to get your soul facets back.

Indeed I do.

I reclaim all of my soul facets and give back all soul facets that are not mine.

Say this once a day for 21 days and your soul is free an clear.

I’ve been married 4 times, and I cleaned the fuck out my soul.

I’m not about to fuck up my own soul because I think t I need a piece of ass.

That’s what I used to do during the spring.

For the last ten years I’ve been celibate.

There is no woman that can get into my pants.

Not one that I’ve met.

That is very disconcerting for me.

You read me, you know I’m as fringe as fringe gets.

Thank you by the way for reading me.

Last week I faced my fear. Exposing myself to those who read me.

I actually do spend a lot of my time telling entities to fuck off.

But there’s the ones that assist me.

I can take a ton of physical pain .

I heal as I heal.

Let me explain.

Using my Reiki transmuting the stuff I take on as an Empath into pure love healing energy that the universe really loves as I sit in peace allowing it to flow from me like an orb. Reaching the edges of the universe nearly instaneously like a wave.

Ups and downs, amplitude, that’s what we called it in the Air Force. Upper and lower amplitude.

However it’s 3d. There is no up or down.

Think outer space.

No up or down.

Gravity is why we use up and down.

The gyres giving gravity to hold the universe together and it’s expanding.

What created the gyre?

My opinion.

The universe came together as one big ball of light. It got bored.

How do make the universe again, but this time make infinite?

The gyres. Black holes that recycle matter crushing it down to the gyre.

It’s why when a black hole has an injection, it’s injecting stuff back into the universe for more creation.

Never coming back to that ball of light again.

If someone has something better, I’ll listen.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Neil Diamond is a master and a half and that’s my opinion.

I was thinking about th who’s in my life where love is concerned. Spring is in the air.

For an Empath it’s murder.

I’ve been celibate for over ten years and every spring I just want to fuck like a mad man.

I feel for other empaths.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Duran Duran is a band that I like a couple songs and I can do with out the rest, however this song speaks to me.

Yesterday I gave everyone a view into my life.

I was terrified.

Now, I’m good.

I get that people such as me exist in numbers greater than anyone thinks. However, I don’t get to talk to many.

I appreciate the ones that are such as me.  It gives me hope.

As I look for the ordinary world I have learned to survive.

What is the ordinary world?

I live the extraordinary.

Well, that’s my opinion.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Thank you to The Killers for this one.

I’m getting ready to write Abnormal Psychology of a Conduit Part 3 tomorrow and I was talking myself up as I smoked.

Reminding myself that there is a PhD in psychology with 30 years experience that learned when I spoke.

I get psychology, why people do what they do. It’s why I don’t get mad anymore.

I used to get pissed as fuck. Then I learned why they did it.

Throughout my life as I understood why, it didn’t make me any less pissed off.

That took years of building my patience.

Speaking of which, I texted my son yesterday and still haven’t heard back.

Understanding that he has had several concussions and has a memory issue, I can be patient.

There are times when one is not in ones life on a daily, one forgets shit.

That’s a responsibility issue for me. I work to remember shit.

I work at my life and even relaxing takes concerted effort.

Right now I’m not relaxed because I’m nervous because I have no fucking clue what in the blue holy fuck I’m going to write tomorrow.

However I’ve done this before and it’s how I always write so I got nothing to worry about.

That’s weird.

I truly have nothing to worry about.

Fly like an eagle by The Steve Miller Band started.

Time keeps on slipping into the future.

Now only goes forward and there is no pause button.

Shinedown is one of my favorite bands and this song is a reason why.

Today the daily prompt asked me one word I would ban.

I chose the word nigger.

A word has no power until emotion gives it power. I think of George Carlin and what he said about the word.

George was brilliant. His way of looking at words is why I loved him so much.

I get I look white. I’m not white by a long shot.

And I have taken so much shit for looking white by the racists of the world.

For the record my genealogy is in part a secret even to me. I could get one of the DNA kits.

It comes up every so often, typically in February.

What I do know for certain is that I’m Asian, Persian, Eastern European, African, Cherokee, Dutch, French, English, Scottish and Irish. I’m a mutt and a half.

I’m definitely not white. I’m as multiracial as it gets.

Call me a sinner, call me a saint.

I would change my ways no nevermind.

I’ve changed my ways so much.

I’ve lived like a gypsy, always looking for something else.

I’ve gotten tired of starting over. I’ve started my life over several times.

At 50 it’s starting to hurt. Starting.

I guess this means I can change again.

I love Chico. It’s my hometown.

Why would I ever want to leave?

I wouldn’t.

I live my choices whether I want to or not.

Call me a sinner, call me a saint.

It’s a matter of opinion.

That I love Chico, that’s an opinion.

I love that opinion and I’ll argue anyone that Chico might be fucked up as anyplace, but it’s got Bidwell Park.

I’m putting down roots.

No roots by Alice Merton, I think, comes to mind. That was my life.

This is my life and I love it.

That means I need a new them song for my life.

I’ve gone and I’m going.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

I want to thank Poison for this one.

Then the next song is One by Creed.

The only way is one.

We are a single ogamism

We are in a gyre.

Gyres make up everything. This is why we have an electromagnetic field that encapsulates us.

Why wouldn’t we be living in a gyre?

For those that don’t know, a gyre is the smallest subatomic particle. A gyre is also a singularity or black hole.

Trillions of gyres make me up.

What consciousness exists in a gyre?

Here’s what I think, I can’t prove it, however, I believe in it.

How do I know it’s true?

I don’t.

This is that leap of faith.

God is the gyre and the gyre is God.

God is in everything.

We are souls having a human experience.

Everything we do is spiritual experience.

It goes up and down like a spiral.

I’m just a soul healer, that means I could be wrong, and if I am I will be glad to know the truth.

The thing is, I don’t think that I am.

I think I nailed it.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

When love is on your side…

Oh how I would give up ten years of celibacy for one night with Dorothy.

It’s true, when love is on your side it’s a beautiful life.

I’ve seen it in my life. I love everyone, I’m in love with everyone. I don’t like many people, but I’m still in love with them.

Anyone who has ever had a significant other knows exactly what I’m talking about.

What does it mean to have love on your side?

First off, fuck off romantic love, that’s lust mixed with love.

That’s when you know how much you love when you don’t even care about sex.

Love is gravity.

Gravity can create a mirror.

The mirror will be distorted.

What you see is your love given form.

As people give love you can see them.

As you give love in everything you do.

What is it you don’t like about one?

That’s inside of you too.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Halestorm is driving this.

I stopped and waited for the next song which is Don’t walk away by Electric Light Orchestra.

I’m not sure I can explain in a way that others will understand what this means to me.

My redemption, what did I need to redeem myself of?

A good chunk of my life.

While on my redemption tour I have a friend who is a good person except their views on the opposite sex and they don’t mind getting their hands dirty, doing illegal things.

That’s what I’m walking away from.

Think about that person that likes to piss you off, that’s what this person does to me.

That’s why I’m walking away.

It’s for my own good.

I did some shit for this person that they can’t even acknowledge.

That was my lesson to learn.

If my life had a theme song, Whitesnake hit it.

I’ve said many times over that this is my theme song.

I don’t like to waste time. However, patience has taught me to wait, and waiting gives opportunity.

Think about it.

If one has to wait for years for something, one appreciates that something that much more.

Instant gratification does nothing for the soul.

I’ve waited for years for some things in my life and I’m still waiting for others.

I have had time on my hands, what do I do with it?

Find something you enjoy and do it. Find other things you enjoy while waiting.

Waiting has been a mode of life for me since I was a child. Then the military, hurry up and wait.

I’ve waited for so long that when I get guidance that says “Stop waiting, they’ll be waiting on you.”

Really, I don’t think so. I could be wrong, but why in the blue holy fuck would people be waiting on me?

I’m not that special, I get I’m smarter than most people which is not a good thing.

Why, I just want to ask the same question  over and over.

I get the answer I’ve been given, I just don’t like it.

However, I do get it.

I’m about to get busy as shit and I’ll enjoy the fuck out of it.

I’m a workaholic. If I don’t have shit to do, I do nothing and that stresses me out.

It used to, now I’m at peace with nothing to do.

I figured out how to relax and enjoy my company.

Here I go again and I have no clue where I am going to or how in the blue holy fuck to get there.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Belly is the band that no one knows but I do.

This song has a ton of meaning hidden within it.

I used to tell a story about what it means to be a king or a queen.

Lords and Ladies and they were the ones to take care of the people and the land.

The lord of the lord’s was the king and the lady of the ladies was the queen.

King and Queen were never found in the castle and wore no crowns. Instead they wandered through their kingdom helping people.

As the helped them they got to know them. Had they been good and decent people after they left something good would happen to them.

Had they been disloyal, and running a foul of the kings law, something horrific would happen to them.

King and Queen, what was their power?

Their anonymity. Had people known they were in presence of the king and queen the king and queen wouldn’t have gotten to see what they saw.

The moral of the story, do what you should be doing because you never know when the king and the queen will come by and you won’t even know they are there.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

This album is one of my favorites of all time and thank you Jim Steinmann and Meat Loaf for this one.

Listening to the title track, I can see myself tearing…

From when I had my stroke until now, I feel like a bat out of hell. I’m breaking out of my mind.

I don’t know if I could ever explain what it’s like to be on path and then have a stroke and lose the ability to speak.

Oh well, I’ll deal with it, I do anyway. That’s what I appreciate about myself. I deal with shit.

I figure out what I should do, and then I do it. I never make excuses even though I could, but that only hurts me in the end and that hurts others.

It’s why I do what I do.

I get why kill your conscience from Shinedown is playing. Followed by brilliant.

I don’t know if others will get it, but I do. It’s my life and if you had had my life, you would get it.

Be grateful that you have your life, not mine. My life is difficult to love and I’m grateful for my life.

I work to be a gift for others.

I got the gift of life.

Why not be a gift with my life?

If we all did this…

Bob Seger takes up a lot of my play list.

I’m taking the day to let my mind come up with various ideas to make my life better.

Now, I love my life, and I want it to get better.

I need to better if I’m ever going to have my life get better.

I’m getting better daily. A little bit at a time.

Never discourage any one who makes continual progress even if it’s you.

Never discourage yourself from a thing.

You know how brilliant you are, they don’t, buy you do.

I get it and thank you.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

The Who knew what an empath was as this song shows.

It’s believed that 20% represent empath.

I asked the question when do we, the empaths stop making their world better for them and start making the world better for us?

I think about that and it sounds like a war brewing.

In fact it is a war and we have had to hide ourselves or face ridicule.

I’ve heard it so many times.

That’s it’s become more accepted, is a move in the right direction.

I still feel how angry I am about the fact that I can’t put empath, telepath and medium on a job application and expect to get hired.

Now, I’m over it.

It’s been 13 years since I realized what I am.

It’s been a glorious 13 years.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Lord how I love me some Shinedown.

Evolution is all there is.

Let’s dive in to see if I know what in the blue holy fuck I’m talking about.

We have all had something chaotic happen.

Where does the chaos come from?

What is it that starts the chaos?

Did it come from a previous evolution?

Let’s say it did for arguments sake. This is my argument. My point as it is.

If that chaos started from a previous evolution then what we do in the face of this chaos tells the universe whether or not we are ready to evolve.

Chaos is the agent of evolution.

Without chaos there could be no evolution.

Hence why those who live consistent lives do not evolve.

They can, but it will take longer.

Where did the original chaos happen?

The beginning of the universe.

Chaos is what makes the universe such a fascinating place.

Now, if one knows how to manage chaos, one will evolve.

Learn to manage chaos.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

The Disturbed version was playing when I got back in.

Silence, silence is what happened today. My son needed to talk. When it comes to my son, I drop everything and he gets my undivided attention.

I cut the music off.

It has something to do with being 20 and he’ll be fine.

It’s unexpected my son actually needs me to be me and be his dad.

At 20 my son is as independent as he can be, I haven’t heard from him in 3 weeks which is no biggie.

When I was 20 I called my parents once a week. That was 30 years ago. Now if I get a text here and there, I’m good with it.

Thank you to those who liked the teaching.

Once a week.

I promise, once a week. I will not start writing 6 pieces a day like I used to.

Once a week you will get 4 pieces from me.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Thank you Van Hagar.

I don’t get some women. Sweetheart has not shown for work in the last couple days. I found her on Facebook and asked how her mother was doing. Then I said I wanted to be friends. If you don’t reply I’ll never bother you again.

My medicine by the pretty reckless is playing and I get it.

I’m a hardcore romantic. I buy flowers just because. I write poetry. I cook, I clean, I give full body massages. I’m a tantra master.

And I’ve been celibate for over 10 years now.

4 wives.

That has looking for the one. The one that gets me.

There have been several, several, several women that have applied to my mine.

Here’s the thing about valentine’s day, if you need one day a year to show someone how much you love them, what in the blue holy fuck are you doing with anyone?

My wives, and girlfriends can tell you that I never missed a birthday, anniversary, anything that was important to her.

I didn’t care, but she cared and that was enough for me.

I get I’m a rare commodity. I’m a gentleman who is intelligent. A gentleman who knows how to treat a lady, and will only accept a lady.

A lady needs no make up.

I loved my wives for what they looked like without makeup more than with.

Foolin’ by Def Leppard is playing.

My playlist has it in for me.

I should stop now before…

Today I went out to smoke and the power went out.

However I did get a nasty piece of plastic out of my finger finally.

Now the power is on.

What you give by Tesla came on.

You do get what you give.

I look at my coworkers and I see a bit of of me in them.

I see the dude who couldn’t be any duder if wasn’t such a great dude at 25.

Then there’s the smart ass I was, you think he gets away with a damn thing with me?

He made me laugh once, but he didn’t know.

Then there’s the madame. She’s living her dream.

Then there’s the guy that I once was. Several of the guys I once was.

I got better.

Then there’s the two that i get it, but I wish I didn’t.

I love my life.

I love that my boss is left handed like me.

I get the dude who offered me ride and he is a dude for sure.

And I caught a couple dudes that reminded me I’m not the only one.

Working at Walmart has been fun. It’s beat the shit out of me. However, it’s a job I enjoy.

Always the masochist, just beat me, whip me call me Susan.

Actually on second thought, no.

That used to me.

I’m not sure what wally world has for me next, but it will fun.

No matter what you do, no matter where you go, have fun, if it’s not fun, make it fun. Because no one likes to work.

I’ve been saying this for more than 35 years.

I figured it would catch at some point.

Actually no I didn’t and I’m glad it never did. Then I would have to find a new way to say it.

I do this. When something I say gets around to the point where others are saying it, a friend once told me her daughters called it Jimisms. That’s when I knew I had get some original material.

I’m always on. Even when I’m not, I am.

The shows I’ve put on, the shows I will put on as a performance artist.

Everything is art.

Everything.

And I’m doing just fine.

I love The Killers and that’s one band I’d love to see. Mr. Brightside was playing when I came in.

Coming out of my cage, this really hits home with me. I feel as if I’ve been caged for five years. Since my stroke.

Now I have two projects for the weekends that are going to take a lot.

Let me explain.

I understand at this level and it’s a high as fuck level.

I need to get, for lack of a better word, stupid. I have an IQ of 215.

For me conversation that isn’t about something scientific, spiritual, or from one my favorite TV Shows or movies or music.

If you can introduce me to new music, I’ll be your friend.

My favorite shows are the Star Treks, Andromeda, Farscape, Stargate SG-1.

At one point I had down loaded all ten seasons of SG-1. I have seen the entire series several times.

One of my favorites is when the have a show about the Stargate, called Wormhole Extreme. Carter, says it would be a great front for the program. If any gets wise they can blame the show.

I think about putting myself in front of people to hide. I’ve done it before.

Like, I really think there is a program, whether or not it’s Stargate, or something else. Now I can’t confirm it, it’s an idea the show have me with that episode.

What if?

The Who with Baba O’Riley.

I’ve done a ton of arguing over the course of my life. I’ve won more than I lost. I learn when I lose.

I need someone to beat me in an argument.

I want to learn.

Sweetheart showed up for work tonight and gave me Chinese food, my favorite.

I don’t know why she is just amazing.

That’s how I know I’m in love.

Like a teenage wasteland.

The fucked up thing her name is the same as one of my wives, the one I liked the most.

So I’m looking at how I’m going give instruction for The Book of Khaos Majick. I think I will take a page from me, and I’ll do it here.

I’ll be doing this once a week. On Saturday.

You feel I don’t want to do it, but I’m going to because there are those that will be able to understand with a little instruction.

The same thing goes with Abnormal Psychology of a Conduit. Saturday. This i actually look forward to. I figure I’ll learn by teaching.

With my life, it’s typically what I do. Learn by teaching.

The teaching is done by what I channel using my mouth.

Man in the mirror has been playing whole I’ve been writing this.

So will sweetheart invite me out as friends?

I really hope so.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

I take spirituality seriously.

I’m not a serious person, but I can be.

Everything is situational.

I look at giving instruction on spirituality and I don’t want to do it. If I fuck up, I fuck their lives up. I don’t want that responsibility, but I’ll take it.

Responsible.

I’m responsible.

The understandings that come through as I write about this tells me I’m doing the right thing. It’s my decision and I’ve made it.

Fuck it, I’m doing it anyway even though it scares the shit out of me.

Fuck fear.

What’s next?

I was talking to myself. This is what I was saying.

“I’m smoking God, God lit my cigarette, God is in everything.”

I needed to remind myself of that.

Does this mean I’m God?

Yes, but that dog, that dog is God as well. That shit that you don’t want deal with, that’s God that you don’t want to deal with.

I was reading the blog/book I wrote, The Book of Khaos Majick.

It’s a spiritual guide for spirituality. If you understand what it says you don’t need me.

This is the shit I don’t want to deal with, those who need me to instruct them.

That’s Gods and Gods that need me to give instruction.

That’s exactly what I fear most.

I haven’t said fuck it, and I’m thinking about it. I know me, if I’m writing about it, fuck it, I’ll do it.

I have been setting myself for this and it was a sweet set up and I’m grateful for the set up.

So God is in everything and what we as individuals manifest through our words and actions is shared among the shared reality shared by all.

Get your head around that, all.

Every living, non living thing in the entire universe shares this reality.

Who am I to say a thing about a thing?

If you’ve read me, you know. If not, find someone who has.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

This is The Book of Khaos Majick. Scroll all the way down the start.

https://thebookofkhaos.wordpress.com/

As much as this title is weird as fuck, it describes my life and thank you Sturgill Simpson for this one.

The next song Peace Easy Feeling by the Eagles.

I started writing a text book, and I like to write blog, so I’m writing on this blog.

The Abnormal Psychology of a Conduit.

I had an issue with abnormal, but I figure I’m not normal so abnormal it is.

This is scary shit.

Fuck it, I’m doing anyway.

This is how I got to be me. A series of scary shit and I said fuck it, I’m doing it anyway.

Why let fear paralyze me?

It makes no sense. I push through it knowing I got to do it. I can let the fear make it a miserable experience or I can push though the fear by saying fuck it.

In that moment I take the power back. I know I will survive whatever, so now it’s time to do it.

That takes less than a fraction of a second for my mind to set it’s course. Once my mind is made up, there is no changing it unless one can show a more efficient way.

Fear is not efficient. However fear can cause one to find efficiency. It can motivate one to know the most efficient way to do something.

I fear writing an actual text book, all the reviews and peer reviews and shit like that. Fear has given me the efficient way to write it, on my blog.

I figure if anyone can understand what I write, why should I charge anyone for anything I write?

I can come up with justifications left and write. I’ve already done that.

This is it.

This is why I don’t make money for being a Táltos. In ancient times a shaman would have another job because what he did for people he wouldn’t  charge them.

Those who need, need.

It is a mockery of shamanism that any one shaman makes a living as a Shaman.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Thank you Mr. Steve Winwood for this adventure into my mind that has been strategically twisted.

I’m on one tonight.

Evolved.

Would you consider an evolved being to be inferior, superior, or the same as any other being?

Let’s dive in.

How does one quantify inferior and superior?

Telepathic communication.

Communicating with images in the mind with emotional concepts. No language.

If one can’t do this, is one inferior to one that can?

For me, I used to think I wasn’t a telepath. At one point in life I would have felt inferior to another that was a telepath.

Understanding that one can communicate without words across the universe, that would make that one superior.

Why?

Communication is how we evolve.

How we communicate says everything about us.

As humans we like to feel superior to everything.

The idea that we’re inferior never crosses our minds.

Look at Dr. Steven Greer and his documentaries.

If that doesn’t tell you how inferior we are, nothing will until they show up.

For me, I’m waiting patiently for them to show the fuck up already.

White room by Cream has me thinking no stings can secure you.

What strings are people looking for?

The strings that hold them back from getting the full experience.

What is the full experience?

Of what?

Life.

Well, what strings come with life?

You have to pay to live. That’s the first one that comes up.

We are the only species, creatures, animals that pay to live.

Other species live in the on the same planet we do, why don’t they have to pay to live?

Why is it we can’t live within our ecosystem without trashing it?

I get why I am at zero zone anger.

I’ve been in a conversation with a guy who thinks his name means something because his money his tied to his name.

He thinks he’s evolved because he learned the same shit everybody has learned and doesn’t think that we exist to share life.

He thinks we exist to create a name for ourselves.

I used to think that, but I evolved.

We exist to share life with others. That simple. What we do with our lives is our choice.

Every last one of us has the choice to make.

We can screw others and call it gamesmanship.

We can screw the planet and call it doing it our way and no one can stop us.

We can call it narcissism and we can tell the narcissists to shut the fuck up as we need to share life so that all can live.

The zero point energy needs to be released.

Why do we still build cars using gas?

Why haven’t the pipelines been closed off?

Why aren’t we using hemp and stop cutting down trees that can fix the atmosphere?

Greed is the only answer.

Think about it, Saudi Arabia would fold.

The Arabs would be happy to see the Saudi family fail and fail huge.

Loggers would fail and fail huge.

These two groups of people need to fail and fail huge.

Thank you Katy Perry.

It’s a reminder I needed.

I don’t know if anyone can understand what I’m going to try to explain.

Some of it has no words only understanding.

Think about let your good deeds go unnoticed.

I shine like a motherfucker.

At work tonight this song played and it made  me want to cry. The words hitting home. Few song make me want to cry.

This one was the first time it made me want to cry.

Why is it that I wanted to cry?

As the chorus hit I could feel my eyes well up and I held it. Each time the chorus hit me eyes welled, and each time I held it.

It was an understanding of my life, where it is, where it was, where it’s going. I don’t know where it’s going but I have an idea.

Sound of madness by Shinedown is playing. Oh how I know the sound of madness. I wouldn’t say I wrote the book on pain, but my life has dealt with pain upon pain upon pain.

When am I going to wake up and fight for myself?

What’s the point of fighting?

I find that using peaceful, yet teachable lessons are something that can happen.

One does not need to fight.

One can negotiate and stuff.

Don Henley gets the credit for this one.

We are all guilty.

What are we all guilty of?

A ton of shit.

Could you be more specific?

(yes this is and my higherself conversing)

How much do you want to write?

Good point.

It figures Low by Cracker was the next song.

Guilt.

I’ve been guilty of so much that I can’t even stop to think about it, the memory reel is going to fast.

It paused me for a second.

I need to be guilty of something.

Why?

So I can feel like others.

That’s stupid.

Yeah, I know.

I’m guilty of not saying shit when I know the truth.

It’s interesting when I do speak up on LinkedIn. I’ve been using LinkedIn as of late to see how my skills are progressing.

I figure if I can beat the supposed best and brightest they have to offer and clean the floor with them, or they ask me questions which is a new one.

LinkedIn is full of people who desperately seek validation.

It’s easy.

All one has to do is make a valid point that blows their point out of the water. Then refuse to give them validation.

The reason I do this is because these are the same people that post who needs a validation I’m valid.

Really.

One also has to have studied everything I have studied. That’s where I get them.

They haven’t studied what I’ve studied.

The CFO that stopped talking to me once I made it abundantly clear that his oint made zero sense and he should no better being that he’s a CFO.

This is what I’m guilty of. I’m one of the smartest people on the planet, I work at Walmart, I fuck with people who wouldn’t even get in the door any other way.

My bills are paid.

I look at it this way, I’m as lazy as lazy gets. If you want something done quick, find the laziest motherfucker around.

It’s not that I have anything against work, I would just rather work on my theory.

However I need to live, so Walmart it is.

That’s what I’m guilty of. Being a philosopher that should be teaching the younger generation.

Here’s the thing, I’ve worked for years to reach many of them to be shit on by them all.

I don’t take any shit from anyone.

Why would any want to shit on me for being intelligent and figuring shit out.

I don’t know, insecure.

That would be it. If there is one thing about this generation that makes me sick as fuck is there insecurity and making excuses for it.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose

Thank you Queen.

I’m the seeker as the Who started.

This is what I do. I decided to write, hit the shuffle. Then I went out to have a smoke, when I came back Crazy little thing called love was playing and as I started writing The Seeker by The Who came on.

Love is crazy.

Love is not insane.

The definition of insanity is doing the same shit over and over and expecting different results.

Anything else, no matter how much one might think it’s crazy, is totally ok.

Let’s dive right in to see if I know what I’m talking about.

Crazy is giving a woman a poem that she was not expecting.

Doing it again would be insane.

Crazy is loving someone and telling them.

Insane is when they don’t want you and you still follow them around like a lost dog.

Crazy is doing the unexpected.

Insane is doing only what’s expected.

Now this one, has caveats. At work doing what is expected is a good thing.

Everything has one exception.

I think of love and not romantic love. I don’t know if it’s been too long since I’ve had a hug or something else. However, I look at life and something is missing.

Someone.

I don’t know who.

This was the line from Rock And Roll Never Forgets as I walked into my room after having a smoke and grabbing coffee.

That was my day.

I just got home and tonight was fun.

I got told my art work and the message on it was well received.

Then Sapphire happened. The laziest person I work with. She stopped working a section and did something else. While she was on her phone. This meant that she couldn’t hear me when I asked a tool.

At her age I had already been on a humanitarian mission in the Air Force.

I have no patience for stupidity. Being at work on your phone is stupid.

Next I had Em. Em thought he was going to be a smart ass until I said some shit that made him feel as guilty as he was.

I got teach a couple people some shit.

I think about my dignity and my integrity. The two go hand in hand.

I used to be the world’s biggest smart ass. Now, I’m the dick that fucks up how smart they thought they were and lets them see where they fucked up.

Working with me is easy, working against me will go very bad for you.

I’m as pleasant as can be at work.

However,I remember what changed it for me, my son.

I used to be a pain in the ass because I was trying to be. Now I’m a pain the ass for working and doing what I’m supposed to making others look like shit.

No one wants to be near me because I work like motherfucker.

And I don’t like rap, far be it from me but when I hear nigger over and over again at work, somebody has got a real disrespect problem. That they feel what they listen to is what everyone within earshot should listen to, that means they have zero respect for anyone else.

This is the new generation, you really need to learn your manners.

The one dude who’s half my age, got raised right. Works his ass off making me look bad, I’m 50, he’s 25. He should be making look bad.

Not all of the new generation needs come upins.

Come upins is where you come up against the shit that fucks you up and based on how you deal with it, could be more on your plate, or your done.

I’ve had my fair share of come upins.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Shinedown.

You can do much better, trust me.

This is my life. I’m always working to get better since my stroke 5 years ago. I know how much better I can do. It frustrates me to no end.

Both sides now by Neil Diamond is playing.

I’ve seen me at an IQ of 215 before my stroke. People hated seeing my name when I commented. They knew they were done because they couldn’t argue against my point unless they lied.

Since my stroke, I understand that I don’t speak well and it’s my shit to deal with. No one is at fault. It just is.

This is how I deal with it. I fight every day to get better every day. I’m getting better every day. My writing is proof of that.

I don’t get stuck on words as much. Thinking about a word didn’t used to be a problem for me.

Used to be I had a mastery of the English language.

I write this and I’m at peace with it. I know I’m getting better daily.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

I love the Killers and this song is one reason why.

People worry about the dumbest shit.

What does worrying get anybody?

Absolutely nothing.

Stress and stress and stress.

I used to worry about shit all the time, I got better.

A gentleman has nothing to worry about other than is he doing what he’s supposed to be doing, if yes, no worry.

A gentleman works at himself, but not to the cost of others.

A gentleman is always their for others and it doesn’t matter who. A child, a woman, an elder another gentleman, or a piece of shit.

Pieces of shit can be smelled from far away. As one gets closer to see the shit, one understands why it’s shit and goes with the flow.

A gentleman may or may not give to pieces of shit.

If a gentleman does give his time to a piece of shit, the piece of shit should be grateful.

The gentleman takes time to build pieces of shit into decent human beings.

The gentleman has patience that Job wished he had.

An actual gentleman will never lie to anyone about anything.

If a gentleman is telling you some bad shit, it’s because it’s true.

This is what I do. My week encapsulated and what comes out, this is what is coming out.

A gentleman never attacks, however will defend those who are being attacked.

A gentleman is precise in his language, meaning he will make sure he is understood using the simplest language.

Why use colorful words when simple ones will do?

If one wants to write poetry be as colorful as one can be.

When attempting to communicate with another, use small words.

Your thesaurus skills impress no one.

A gentleman is never looking for a lady, however if one shows up, he will give her his undivided attention.

Allowing the conversation to lead to God knows where.

While a gentleman may want a lady, a gentleman never allows himself to think of her in any lustful way.

Respect, self respect is what a gentleman has. Why would a gentleman disrespect another knowing he would first have to disrespect himself?

Fuck off with name calling, only truly pathetic scum of the fucking earth do that shit.

A gentleman swears to make a point.

However, he knows other words as well.

I could add more, and probably will.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Boston takes you through my day sort of.

I worked last night for the 5th straight night. I’m hurting.

If any of you have read me, you know that on a 1-10 scale of pain, my 8 would kill most people.

I’m at a 9 on my scale, meaning most of you couldn’t live doing what I do. That fucks with me. For me physical pain is more of an annoyance than anything.

When I got home I get naked, put in my comfy clothes, rolled a joint and headed downstairs for coffee. I had filled up the Keurig before I left.

My roommate decided to empty it out and when I discovered that I had already smoked the joint. I am in pain, so my patience is limited.

Had that been the first time, almost every time I want to make a cup of coffee I have to refill the damn water reservoir thing up.

This is a little thing, that could get someone killed.

I know how deadly I am.

I could walk into his room and snap his neck, why don’t I do it?

Because I live by one rule, don’t go to jail.

That means anything illegal is off the table.

And tonight I had someone put me in my place and I didn’t like it, however she was absolutely correct I’m what she had to say. I’m dealing with it.

Philosophers such as myself have a responsibility to everyone.

We are the deep thinkers.

We solve the shit that you need solved.

It’s our place to run shit. Not politicians, really intelligent people.

There should be an IQ standard for and civil service. If you aren’t intelligent you don’t get to run anything but a business.

I look at the world with veteran eyes.

If you served your country allowing us all to not have to worry, you should run the country.

If we look at those who run shit, I don’t want any drunks. Alcohol destroys the brain and pickles the body.

I get why prohibition got started. I get why some religions have no booze.

This is me in pain.

This is me dealing with it.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Steve Winwood is to blame for this.

I live a higher love.

Others do too.

What is it that lifts us up?

No complaining.

A complaint that has no solution is going to tank you.

I look at what I could complain about, eh, doesn’t bother me.

I have zero complaints about my life.

The closest thing to a complaint is just a matter of waiting.

I hate it when people bitch, moan and complain.

I truly hate it when they complain about a contract they signed and the other party did their part, but what is it about student loans that people don’t want to live up their side of the deal?

I signed a contract and I have an outstanding student loan.

I don’t expect anyone to pay for my student loan.

I look at as if I didn’t think I had to pay, why?

What’s so special about me that I don’t have to pay my student loan?

I’m responsible.

At some point I’ll pay it. It’s my debt and I have the obligation to pay it.

The whole student debt thing is about responsibility, and those who cry over student debt, fuck ’em.

Why can’t others be responsible as I am?

It’s a choice we all make.

Choose responsibility.

The Guess Who makes to the table while Life is Beautiful by Sixx A.M. follows suit.

If you can say something nice, make sure it’s damn true.

While I am as grateful as grateful could be for my last wife, she took advantage of me in ways I can’t even describe. She’s a dream weaver, meaning she can invade your dreams and make you see shit that most people would actually fall for.

Imagine you have a dream where you appear in a coral with the posts are pink demon looking things.

There’s a house and a boy standing in the second story window.

So I go in the house and there’s a few people at the table. They said your dead, now you can tell all your secrets.

That’s when I headed out of the house and figured out where the exit was.

Had this been the only time she fucked with my dreaming, I wouldn’t have developed dream defense. Wouldn’t even have thought of it.

Thank you.

There was one that I wish I could have again because it was cool as fuck. Fucked up shit, kind of demonic, but it was cool.

I exorcise demons, for me it’s like a kid in the candy store. I get most people would be rightly terrified by shit I don’t even blink at.

I always wanted to meet a dude that can do the shit I do. Instead I became me.

And I can teach anyone.

My email is jimccarterjr@gmail.com.

Two C’s.

So now Kansas has told be to carry on wayward son, so I bid adieu.

Van Hagar, well Van Halen is the ones you have to thank.

Dreams.

You never know what you’ll find.

That’s a fact I can’t escape. Doesn’t matter what I want, or think or feel I won’t know until I show up.

Everything I think might happen is nothing but a dream.

Thank you Jackie Wilson.

My heart got high today.

Sweetheart showed up for work today.

I love her face.

Her mother had a heart attack and that’s why she missed work.

Free Fallin’ by Tom Petty is playing and I’m in a free fall and I don’t care if I land.

It feels like I’m in love, and no.

Hungarian heart always falls in love first, then they get to them.

I’m working at not being that.

You ever look at someone for the first time and it hits you. I’ve had this happen before. I get the guidance is wait for her mother to be ok and then she’ll invite you to a date, but not a date.

I get it.

When I was 18 her name was something different. But she had the same skills. But she doesn’t know.

Telling someone their a telepath isn’t fun. Think about it.

I figured out when I was 37.

I talked to many people from my past to find out what I thought, I was correct without fail. Even though most of the time I was lied to.

Think about knowing the lies that you e heard that at one point you thought were true and then you figure out you already knew.

I can’t explain the emotional rollercoaster. It’s different for everyone.

I used to do this 6 days a week as an admin for an Empath group.

I was the guy that could tell them what they actually were, and it was not fun, it was work.

I’m a workaholic. I know me, I’ve seen me throw myself into something time and time again.

Doesn’t matter if you paid, if you do it 6 or more days a week and never tire of it, your a workaholic.

Imagine just came on.

That’s what I want to work on, building bridges of peace, I would never get tired of that.

Thank you Glen Frey.

How do I explain the feeling that I belong to Chico?

Everyone belongs where they are, if they didn’t the would be somewhere else.

If I move I’ll belong to that city. However, I never think about leaving. I figure if the opportunity comes up, it will. If not, nothing to worry about.

Why allow thinking of another place distract me from my life where it is now?

What purpose would it serve?

If I’m daydreaming about my life and where I want it to go, that’s egocentric.

If I’m daydreaming about my life and where people need someone like me?

That’s thinking we.

Stop thinking about the me.

Think about the we.

This is how we create our lives.

We create our lives while daydreaming.

We.

It’s all about we.

Tell me something not about me, but about a we you used to know.

I’m watching Star Trek TOS.

The episode has an alien that feeds on war.

What if the Gods that everyone believes in are using us to fuel their need for entertainment?

I was watching The Expendables and I get it.

We like watching violence.

We don’t necessarily like to become violent.

I’m at peace most of the time. It takes effort to keep my peace.

What is it that gets one to feel like violence is the answer?

We have many ways to justify violence as  humanity.

Why don’t we have many ways to justify peace?

Because then what would they do for vengeance?

A proportional response.

What does that even mean?

It means you destroy a target or targets worth what they destroyed of yours.

That’s stupid.

If we want peace on Earth, we have to fuck off the proportional response.

We need to give peace a chance through negotiating.

Take the power back and use it to put peace in our minds, souls and hearts.

Queen, if you don’t like this band, it’s says everything wrong about you.

We, it’s a we that gets things done.

From everything we do we count on others.

I want to write right now. I needed the dudes who made my phone, the dudes and broads that run the electricity, the dudes and broads that run the communication shit for wifi, the dudes and broads…you get the point.

I needed everyone to do their part so I could write right now.

Never think about me.

Think about the we.

A new mantra I’m creating for myself in this moment.

I watched a couple YouTube clips I made several years ago, before my stroke.

I was impressed by the dude in the video. I can’t explain what it’s like to lose the ability to speak and then see yourself when you could speak.

I’ve been getting better daily, but I’m nowhere near 100%, maybe 75% or less.

It’s been 5 years.

Now I’m living the dream.

The place, the job, all I need now is an actual fucking bed. Still sleeping on a cot. It’s a comfy cot, but it’s not a bed.

If I’m honest with myself I’m missing a woman.

A woman that can put me in my place. A woman that can learn from me as she teaches me. A Conduit, meaning I channel her guidance to her through my mouth.

A woman that understands that and wants to learn.

I’m looking for my mirror reflection in the female form.

Wise as shit and no one cares, can get people to fuck off by telling them the truth, and stuff.

It’s takes a we for me to meet her.

That will be a glorious day for the we we become and the we will rock you.

If you understood that last sentence, I might be looking for you.