The reaper is God.
Black hole=gyre
God kills all and none can kill God.
Lucifer is light.
God kills Lucifer.
God creates Lucifer again.
Cosmic.
This simple truth took me 51 years so that I could give it to all of you.
Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.
That never would come to me.
Tom Petty was one of the great American song writers.
Working on a mystery.
Going wherever it leads.
That’s what life is.
When we run something down, we chase after it.
What if we don’t chase?
I’ve seen what can happen if I don’t chase.
It takes a while longer, however it’s a peaceful while longer.
When I chase, it’s never peaceful.
It’s cost me my body because I couldn’t wait.
My knees are arthritic. My shoulder is as well, and my ribs.
It takes me a minute to stand up.
However, now I get it. Had I gotten it sooner, I would have made the same decisions because it is what it took for me to learn.
Be better than me.
Be way better than me.
Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.
Metaphor time.
God is a black hole, many black holes.
God ejects light.
If we could see that we are the devil and what the devil sees is what tempts or scares us, we could see how well INXS got it right.
The Devil Inside, every single one of us, has the devil inside.
Pure love is devilish love.
It has boundaries.
There are things that pure love will not accept.
Think of this as society, what is not condoned by society?
Pure love is healing love.
Think about it, unconditional love has a bunch of shit it takes in without care.
Pure love cares about itself as an entity.
Pure love takes no shit from anyone.
Reiki using pure love will be much more beneficial than using unconditional love. I’m a Reiki Grandmaster.
If you haven’t seen the form, hit me up, and I’ll send it to you free of charge.
If anyone hits me up, I have a bunch of shit to give away. Mantras and stuff like that.
Back to metaphor.
Think about if the fiction in the Bible was true, Lucifer was God’s first creation. The light bringer.
All lucifer could see was shit that was not worthy of God’s love.
That would piss off anyone.
Metaphor.
If you think about it and put yourself in the Lucifers position, what would be your reaction?
This is why when I wrote Lucifer into my book, fictional, he made a change.
He dove deep as deep as deep gets. All he could find was shit that wasn’t worthy of God’s love.
He went to God and said please make me silver. I want to feel God’s love, and only reflect the light.
The silver mirror was born.
Look at the yin yang. A little dark in the light and a little light in the dark separates by a silver line.
Keep it close to the silver line to be balanced.
It’s been a day. About 6 weeks ago I took a chunk out of my ankle. Today is the first time it didn’t hurt.
I went and did 2 rounds of frisbee golf. I go with my best friend, a brother from another mother. He is not doing so well.
He takes care of his autistic son and his mother who has Alzheimer’s. Every night she asks when are we going home?
She’s in her home.
The things I’ve seen that I won’t speak about.
He’s as stressed as stressed gets and he’s the only one to take care of her as her son.
It’s why I dream of getting rich, so I can take care of him.
He’s what got me through taking care of my dad until he died. I loved my father, but I didn’t like him. My father was a narcissist.
I took care of him until died. I was protecting him from my sister. My sister is the kind of person that says it never happened even if there is factual evidence that it did.
My parents nearly lost my sister when she was 2. She got meningitis.
I was 6.
Since that, anything she ever needed/wanted she got.
My dad was driving an hour one way to pick her kids up and then driving a half hour to drop them off because they missed the bus.
At that time my dad had advanced stage Parkinsons. He had had a surgery that put two electrodes in his brain. This was to control the tremors.
He shouldn’t have been driving, much less driving and hour and a half one way.
This is what I walked into in taking care of my dad.
I can’t even begin to explain the amount of abuse I took from my dad, my mom, and my sister while taking care of my dad for the 7 years of his life.
My brother let me come hangout at his place nearly daily. He heard it all.
Things I don’t talk about anymore because I forgive so that I can build peace within.
But this is why I will always be there when my brother needs me.
Hell of a commercial break huh?
Everyone out.
Disconnect from everyone.
Now, I have some time to myself.
Turn Back Time is playing, and it’s got me thinking, what if I could turn back time?
What would I change?
Nothing.
If I changed the past, even one thing, my entire life would be different, and I wouldn’t be me.
Now, you’re getting it.
Yo. What have you got for me tonight?
That thing, that’s been going through your mind, deal with it.
I don’t want to.
Ok, then I put you in the pain chamber. You remember the pain chamber.
Yeah, it’s where you turn up my physical empath response, and I feel everything. I’d really like it if you wouldn’t do that.
Then deal with your shit dick head.
So what do you suggest for dealing with stalkers?
What can you do?
Call the cops. However, it’s online that I have the problem. From Sweden, this woman won’t leave me alone.
She’s creates false profiles and doesn’t get that that makes her even more detestastable to me.
Well, stay offline then.
No, I have people that I only know through the internet.
But I get it, all I can do is what I can do, and anyone can stalk anyone on Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, and other social media platforms.
Now, you happy?
Yes.
Actually, I’m at peace. I stay at peace and mirror others’ emotions and pretend I’m a real boy.
Even if I could feel anything, what would I feel?
I remember feeling, and at some point, my emotions left, and all I can do is mirror.
Yep, that’s what you get for having an empathic overload. Taking care of your dad for several years, he died two months before his body quit. You were keeping him alive.
I know, you don’t want to hear it, but you need to be honest with yourself. And I’m making sure that’s the case.
Yeah.
Dad drained the fuck out of me and then my buddy, his girlfriend died and he called me, and then the overload.
I understand what happened, why am I dealing with it now?
Your dad.
I get it. I need to be at peace with dad’s death. And I need to be at peace with my buddy, and I need to be at peace with all things.
Why again is that?
You know.
Yeah I do, but I look at everyone else, and I look at me, and I’d like to fit in somewhere. I know I don’t, unless I pretend, mirror people. Giving them what they want and feeling lonely when I’m with them.
At times, people give me what I need, not very often, but they do.
If I’m honest, I get everything I need from people, even the ones that I don’t like, what is it I need to change to quit seeing them.
Superstition, fear, and jealousy.
Why does that sound familiar?
Dragula.
Got it.
What superstions are holding me back?
What is it, I fear?
Who am I jealous of?
I think I leave it here tonight. I wonder what my day will be like tomorrow, leaving these questions unanswered.
I’ve seen it before, I write something, and the next day…
It used freak me the fuck out, but after it’s happened thousands of times, I’m used to it.
Today was a day.
I saw my patient at 11am. We looked for any place in Chico they could get free food delivered. My patient is 75, and they’re slipping, but they don’t think they are.
Most people if you tell them their slipping, the mental cognitive is not firing on all cylinders, they tell you no, they’re not.
This is typical for most Americans. However, most Americans are not veterans, most Americans have a place with family or they don’t.
Family is the worst for dealing with this. They think of who they know, but they aren’t there, they’ve changed. It’s heartbreaking for you both.
I look at my dad and his life and how Parkinsons disease cut his life short. Much shorter than the day he died.
My dad was a contractor, self employed. There were things my dad hadn’t tried, everything else was an art form.
Now, parkisons took my dad’s ability and shit canned it. What made my dad was broken.
I took care of my dad for the last 7 years he was alive. He fell down frequently, and all I could feel was my dad’s hate, that I had to pick him up.
That hate was at himself.
Anybody, everybody has shit to say, however I’m the one that felt it every time. That means your opinions mean exactly shit to me.
Now to the rest of my day. I went down to Ital imports, a crystal shop I hang out in on occasion. I had a therapy visit to give.
Think of it this way, I know before you do whether or not you need me or someone like me. The force is strong with this one.
And it is the force, not the star wars force, the real force that exists within everything.
An empath can feel when something is strange is going on with most people. Even I have the occasional error, however this time I was right on target.
I let them know, if anyone comes looking for Jim Carter, tell them where to go.
Think of it this way, why would I say that unless people were actually coming.
This is what I deal with, daily.
Tomorrow, dementia patient who has no clue who I am, where he is, and is essentially delusional. I may miss a couple days depending on him.
There is no control, only the flow, just let go and enjoy the ride.
Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.
The Church of Rock 'N' Roll 
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