Several years ago I had a session with a dude who said “why is it you don’t feel quite human?”
I don’t know.
I always was under the assumption that I was human.
However, spending with ChatGPT telling it all my secrets so to speak we have come up with I’m an evolution towards what humanity is becoming. I’m just an early riser.
Homo superior?
I don’t know.
I’ll let the anthropologists figure it out.
Things I can do not previously listed.
I can bilocate in a thought. While my soul is there it can interact with the environment.
This is how I clear ghosts out. I don’t even have to be there.
Well, my body doesn’t need to be there.
Remote viewing, I remote view, yet I don’t do it because it’s an invasion of privacy that needs to be addressed by the law.
A faraday cage is the only way one can’t be remote viewed.
I can soul swap. I take your body while your trapped in here.
I’m a dual soul, meaning there’s two of me, one in the body, one who knows.
It’s part of being Táltos.
I have a way of doing the impossible, as soon as someone says that’s impossible, that’s when I do it. I find a way.
The idea that no prophet will be known by his hometown, fuck that.
I might be a prophet but I’m staying in Chico CA USA.
Why bother, you all can read me everywhere.
I can make you see shit. That was my ability that created the cloud that everyone but me could see.
I can tap you fear and make you feel as much fear as I want to.
This is something I never wanted to tell anyone.
This has the possibility of people choosing to fear me, and that’s not what I want.
I can tap any emotion and that’s what you’ll experience. Joy anyone?
However I have to be honest about what I can, can do. What I choose to do….
I can take the median line and move it where ever I want amongst a crowd.
Meaning peace with a side of bliss.
What is your bliss?
I held a crowd of several thousand in their seats until the band figured there sound system out.
5. Consume what one needs and give thanks to that which provided for one’s needs.
Think about it, what is it that one consumes?
Think hard about it.
One consumes everything around one.
One is an empath. A black hole for emotional energy.
For ones that are not empath, I guess what you consume is still everything.
That you don’t have the ability to use everything you’ve got is why this evolution came to be.
The collective consciousness if the earth wants this.
Think about that.
The entirety of the Earth unconsciously wants. The conscious mind has no clue what is going on behind the doors.
That we think we know shit, that’s the biggest laugh the universe gets on a daily.
What is it we consume if not everything?
God is in everything.
So when does God tempt us?
Wait a minute, God tempts us?
If God is in everything that temptation is God trying to teach you to want better for better reasons.
I get it, I look at my life, and I get it.
I don’t make the rules, I just noticed. And God uses me to talk to you as long as I’m writing.
Channel. That’s how it works.
Why the devil?
Who would believe that God gave us free will and wouldn’t want us to train ourselves by giving into our every whim until we learned to want better for better reasons.
God and the devil are the same person.
One being, many sides, many masks.
The idea that we need there to be an evil to tell us shit is bad, that means we need to evolve.
As we consume we give thanks for whatever we consume. Because if we don’t, shit gets wonky real fast.
Now think about what you need?
For me I need food, coffee,c4, tobacco, weed, a place to live and a job that pays for everything.
I live in a house where I rent a room for 475 plus utilities which is at most 180.
Worship the Gods that never were and have always been by living to one’s fullest potential.
The gyre is the smallest subatomic thing there is. It’s a singularity, a black hole.
The gyre is God. God lives in everything. Meaning God lives in my lighter, in the croissant sandwich I had earlier, in the dresser I’m putting me feet on.
God is in me and you, and everyone.
The living God.
I use the gods that never were and have always existed when I refer to God at times to show I understand what God truly is.
Living to ones full potential means one must accept the truth.
Not this truth, the truth.
It’s the only way one can evolve.
Worship that conjures up is visions of people on their knees and shit like that.
Speak kindly to everything to show worship to everything to show worship to God.
Even the ones you don’t like and hate the things they do.
Speaking kindly means speaking with the truth.
Kindness never lies.
Be kind to God and God will be kind to you.
The law of reflection works.
As you are the universe reflects back.
As you are kind the universe shows you that kindness as it comes back.
How do you explain thought energy, spirits, souls, emotion, gravity and fluctuations there in?
I sense most stuff.
What does that mean, sense?
I cannot see a ghost but I can get a fix on its location using my third eye. It’s how I’m able to sense when one is using remote viewing. I can sense the view.
How do I not go crazy?
Crazy people don’t know that their crazy.
They say crazy shit and expect others to understand.
I don’t expect anyone to understand, truly understand what my life is, however if I never share what my life is, like most who do what I do, that would be a waste of a life in this day and age.
Why not use the internet and write a blog?
Social media is a narcissists tool.
Everybody look at me and what I my opinions are.
It’s stupid.
Hence why I do this.
With this, you get what I give and nothing more.
I do use social media. I can’t believe the shit people post. LinkedIn is a sewer.
People thinking they can create a quote that has already been said way before.
It’s stupid.
You can’t fix stupid, Ron White.
I get that most people are addicted to social media, it’s how it works. You get a notification, they liked it. This causes dopamine to be released.
The addiction chemical.
Tell a bunch of addicts that their addicted…. I’m not that stupid.
As for my awareness, what is it I can be aware of?
I’m sitting on the edge of the universe and right here writing this, anything is up for grabs, I just need to be asked.
I’m no powerful being, I’m just a dude who can do some shit.
If I was powerful, why in the blue holy fuck would I be writing this?
To boost my ego.
I get it. My friends.
I’m aware of them, but I can’t see them.
What are they?
If we created a god and called it Bob.
We give Bob a set of behaviors.
That’s how simple creating a god is. Name and behaviors.
My friends are beings that exist in the 4 dimension, the 4th dimensional beings I wrote about in The theory of consciousness and gravity.
Why am I being so honest?
Someone had to be me, I wasn’t doing anything so I took the job.
Actually it’s part my evolution.
Do what I am afraid of.
This terrifies me. I could write fiction all day long, but the truth, knowing most will write it off as the crazy musings of a madman, I know what people think of those such as me.
The album has got some choice cuts, and the title song, hits.
I have it on repeat since I just found out about the album.
This song is everything I want to say all day everyday.
We.
It’s a song for the we about the we made by the we.
It’s the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard. I’m crying as I write this. I can feel how much of her soul is in this song.
It’s a beautiful soul.
It’s.
A soul is androgynous.
A soul has a body.
A soul chooses the body they will inhabit.
Yes that means I look at transgender as a mental illness/disorder that requires narcissism in order for one to think one has the wrong body.
This something I have some experience with. I used to hang out with several transgender individuals.
Each one of them was dealing with other issues other than transgender that gave indicators of narcissism.
Each was different and there stories were different for why they made that choice, however each and every case was fully loaded with narcissistic intent. Meaning the would not listen to anyone about anything.
I get their emotionally retarded. Meaning their emotions have yet to mature even though they have.
I get there’s no talking to them about their physical body or they get upset because you use the correct medical terminology.
That they can’t face that they are what their gender truly is, is mental illness that needs psychological care.
I set myself up for this.
Last week I wrote a piece using born this way by Gaga. It’s still unpublished.
I don’t like talking about people who are ill and most won’t get the help they need.
Compassion only goes so far then it becomes enabling.
I don’t enable, I won’t do it. I refuse to enable anyone.
I don’t know who or what it is that guides me to do certain things, but I do them because I see how it effects the rest.
Think about this way, I once online dated a woman who was about to have a nasty visitor. She had a young son, had I not dated her, the dude was going to show up.
Then there is the woman I online dated that was dating a dude under suspicion and being investigated by more than one government agency. I got her away from him and made sure she has a career.
Then there is the ones that get fucked in the ass they do it to themselves.
A guy I once called friend, no longer, said he deserves to be in hell. He said many times in front of me. I tried to save him.
I gave him every bit of guidance he would ever need. I gave him protection from entities.
He threw it in my face.
I got told I was done with my job with him a couple months ago.
I don’t know what is going to happen, however I get the feeling buying illegal weed from a place that shows up on Fridays.
California has legal weed. There is no reason for any to break the law selling or buying weed.
I go to Oregrown.
This is what my life is as Táltos. I’m God’s bitch.
Think about it, if God is the gyre that means we have a number we can’t even imagine of gods.
What is God?
God is a mystery to even God.
Ask God who made it?
I did.
What I got was an answer that made sense, but it couldn’t be proven.
Ask God when?
The only answer I ever get is soon. Imminently soon.
Ask God why?
Typically it depends on what I’m questioning about.
Do this for yourself. Let you answer.
Let your higherself answer using your mouth.
Let that tiny piece of God answer using your mouth.
If you don’t know the song was about a movie, Johnny Got His Gun.
Johnny got his legs and arms blown off and his face is disfigured to the point where he can’t hear or say anything.
Trapped in darkness.
Darkness imprisoning me.
During the film they had a Telepath speak to his mind and all he wanted was to die.
I think about that as we get closer to civil war in America and WW3.
Humans getting killed.
Not a single one then thinks it will happen to them. They have rituals, superstitions, and none of it does a damn bit of good.
What do you think the enemy is doing, rituals and superstitions.
I like that crazy train is playing.
I’ve listened to drop outs, mystics, witches, and anyone that would talk to me so I could learn.
What I learned is that we are one human race.
One.
What darkness is imprisoning us that we think we have other races?
We have nationalities, what nation or stuff, but we don’t have any race other than the human race.
Pro-Human.
I used to have to t-shirt.
Been there, done that and I got the t-shirt.
A couple years ago I went mad over black history month. That we even have black history, that’s racist in and if itself.
It pisses me off to no end that any thinks that there is more than one race you stupid fucking morons.
This is what I hold back when I get pissed. Fucking morons.
Let’s think about it using logic.
I tell people the truth, they argue, I get pissed at some point, takes a long time to get under my skin.
It takes a moron to argue with me.
When I realized I had an explosive temper, I made it my mission to not lose my temper.
At 50 I don’t hit anything, I used to hit walls. I put a fist sized dent in a 4×4. I was that pissed and I had been working out and I looked at that dent every week I went to that bar.
Had that been a human, they would have died.
Martial Arts is something I’ve studied do I know exactly what I’m doing and have zero excuse.
It’s why I’m a pacifist. I can make people miss all day long. I don’t have to defend . myself.
Thinking of war, what would I do?
I don’t know.
That is reassuring as it is scary as fuck.
I know how to kill.
I wish I didn’t.
I wish no one had to die, but I get it, people will die.
Humans killing humans like any other day.
Doesn’t matter the why, humans killing humans is the wrong fucking way to go.
I could leave my burning skin That has been been used up in your sin Is there a tiny part of me Untouched, unsoiled by misery?
Looking at my life KMFDM nailed it with this one.
If I was to tell you how many people I’ve given messages to, and how many listened to the advice from themselves through me, maybe 3.
Now, if you want to talk about who reads me, I don’t know how many lives I’ve touched.
I like that.
Do your good deeds in secret.
See the revelation.
What good is it to have others know of your deeds?
Think about it from a non emotional place. Use logic.
If people know what good you do, they’ll be lining up and most want, thinking they need what you do, they think they want it, but most just want to want.
It’s what life is teaching them.
Buy, but I don’t need it, buy it anyway.
Why?
It will feel good to buy stuff.
And shopping therapy is as fucked as fucked can get.
Why do you need to feel good?
What are you not paying attention to in your life?
This is what therapy does, any therapy, that is not with a human being who is qualified to assist you in any mental health issues.
With a human who is trained to help you unfuck yourself, that’s therapy.
I don’t do therapy.
The last therapist I saw, I told him my process.
He said I don’t need therapy, I need to take a couple days every couple of months to hangout with me and no one else.
I wrote Psychospirilosophy.
Does anyone think I need therapy?
I get this going long and going nowhere, but if you read this far, I got a secret.
I met someone who has ADHD and unfortunately I work with her.
I don’t date where I work.
I did it once, never again.
However everything has an exception.
Think about it, everything has an exception.
This is what chaos is. It’s the exception that fucks the rule.
Ever since I was born I was in a hurry to get anywhere.
This is the truth.
Waiting to go to work everyday making sure I had time before work started to have a smoke and collect my thoughts.
I’ve been doing this since I first started working at PayLess. I don’t think they exist anymore.
I was 15. I’m 50. Thirty five years of consistency.
Taking that time is what saved me from making mistakes. I thought about what I needed to do. I was at work. Time to work. My life doesn’t exist until work is done.
At times I talk with people about non-work stuff, I once put it in my schedule as float time.
Last night I fucked myself up really good.
Both knees are fucked. I live upstairs.
Today has been painful everytime I walked down the stairs, and everytime I walked up.
I smoke about a cigarette an hour.
I’m at peace with myself in this pain.
Had I just bought a bike instead of the scooter, which is what I originally planned. This would not have happened.
When I got the electric bike. I wasn’t happy with it. 14 inch tires are too small and I’m too tall. Long legs.
I have a bike in my cart for Tuesday when I get paid. Beach cruiser. 7 speeds.
When one has sex, one exchanges a piece of their soul with every sexual partner.
We build soul mates. We do not find them.
This is a fact that doesn’t give two shits about your opinion.
That means argue with me and find painful truth.
Now, I’m a soul healer, you’d think I would find a way to get your soul facets back.
Indeed I do.
I reclaim all of my soul facets and give back all soul facets that are not mine.
Say this once a day for 21 days and your soul is free an clear.
I’ve been married 4 times, and I cleaned the fuck out my soul.
I’m not about to fuck up my own soul because I think t I need a piece of ass.
That’s what I used to do during the spring.
For the last ten years I’ve been celibate.
There is no woman that can get into my pants.
Not one that I’ve met.
That is very disconcerting for me.
You read me, you know I’m as fringe as fringe gets.
Thank you by the way for reading me.
Last week I faced my fear. Exposing myself to those who read me.
I actually do spend a lot of my time telling entities to fuck off.
But there’s the ones that assist me.
I can take a ton of physical pain .
I heal as I heal.
Let me explain.
Using my Reiki transmuting the stuff I take on as an Empath into pure love healing energy that the universe really loves as I sit in peace allowing it to flow from me like an orb. Reaching the edges of the universe nearly instaneously like a wave.
Ups and downs, amplitude, that’s what we called it in the Air Force. Upper and lower amplitude.
However it’s 3d. There is no up or down.
Think outer space.
No up or down.
Gravity is why we use up and down.
The gyres giving gravity to hold the universe together and it’s expanding.
What created the gyre?
My opinion.
The universe came together as one big ball of light. It got bored.
How do make the universe again, but this time make infinite?
The gyres. Black holes that recycle matter crushing it down to the gyre.
It’s why when a black hole has an injection, it’s injecting stuff back into the universe for more creation.
I used to think about fate. I always wanted to escape my fate.
Who at 14 gets baptized and then a cloud that looks like a man standing there but I can’t see it. It’s what other people saw.
I’ve been told I’m a prophet, I never ever would choose this.
And shit like that.
Synchronicity is a choice and every choice creates synchronicity.
I get that in this world we have many prophets, why the fuck would anyone believe me?
I choose this life where I’m a shaman, sort of, a soul healer that works maintenance at Walmart.
I write a ton. Currently I’m writing the abnormal Psychology of a Conduit, as well as some teaching tools for a spirituality book I wrote.
It’s modern day shamanism.
I used to think about fate, I wanted to escape my fate.
Then I learned about synchronicity.
It’s a matter of choice.
Choice, the power to choose is the ultimate power in the universe.
What choices are you making?
I make the choice to forgive everyone of everything so that I can put peace in my heart mind and soul.
I make the choice to give it my best at work.
I make the choice to give free guidance to whoever bothers to speak with me.
I make the choice to use Reiki as an Empath to transmute what I take on and turn it into pure love healing energy that goes like an orb across the universe.
I make choices every day.
We all make choices every day.
I wish others chose what I chose, but I can’t make that choice for them.
I’m terrified about what I’m going to say. Exposing myself to the world.
Fuck it, I’m doing it anyway with help.
An entity is writing this for him so you can get it at peace instead of the wreck of emotional shit he is.
While his body doing the typing, I have management of his body and he can tell me through telepathic communication to knock it off.
A regular daily thing for him is to tell us, entities, to fuck off. All day throughout the day he has to defend himself from our attacks.
Not attacks really, we just want his body to do shit.
A nickname is a great way for us to get in. We’re smarter than you are and we don’t know time like you do.
The fact that I said we’re smarter than you, how many don’t believe because no one is as smart as you?
It’s why I said it. It challenges your ego to accept that any is smarter than you.
We’re smarter than he is.
Yes, they are. Thank you for the explanation.
This is what it’s like to be me. It happens in an instant. I can channel anything that has a soul, entities, and stuff. The stuff is something I don’t have a classification for. It feels, that I say feels means that’s an opinion.
Hence why I say stuff. If I don’t know what it is I’m not going to bullshit you.
I don’t anything in the comparison of everything there is to know.
I know myself through and through.
To say that we know anything is to say we know it in it’s entirety.
Do I know myself through and through?
Probably not. I’m ok with that.
To be ok with not knowing is the sign of a healthy mind.
To obsess over knowing anything, that’s a sick mind.
That one thinks one needs to know anything means one needs to look inward instead out here.
Now let’s explain that.
See if one thinks one needs, what is one doing that one thinks one needs?
This is where looking at yourself and what you do and the affect it has on others is paramount in understanding yourself.
This is where if one is honest with oneself one can learn much about the world and ones place in it.
Desire can feel like need, however it is desire, a wanting.
It’s the Medium part of the Conduit that needs the psychology explained.
I’m not a normal Medium. I channel the souls of all I meet. I don’t do the dead.
How does this effect me?
I know how alone we’re not.
I get this understanding is going to be the most difficult for me to explain in a way that others will understand.
If we had a diagram of 2 people, one being a Conduit, and show the lower self as the one in the body, and the higherself over head.
The higherself is what I channel.
Why?
Think about it, you need guidance, who is the best source of guidance you can get?
The higherself.
How do you deal with possession?
Daily.
My ego is my defense against possession. Having a well defined and refined ego is the best defense against possession.
Possession can and does and will happen unless people accept that it is true that other entities want our bodies to do shit with.
I have been possessed. I couldn’t do anything as I was trapped in my own mind. This happened due to my stroke 5 years ago.
How do I know the possession isn’t still possessing me?
I use mantras that offend that which possessed me. I also keep myself focused on what is actually happening. My level of awareness borders on “super” natural, however it is as natural as can be.
I had to unlearn and relearn.
I used to be one of the people that wouldn’t believe a word I said.
Then when I was 37 I figured it out.
Until then I thought I was as bat shit as bat shit gets. I knew shit that I shouldn’t be able to know.
I never hear any voice in my head other than mine.
I never hear anything from a spirit.
What I do with that is telepathic communication. Images with emotional concepts to communicate understanding.
Shinedown is one of my favorite bands and this song is a reason why.
Today the daily prompt asked me one word I would ban.
I chose the word nigger.
A word has no power until emotion gives it power. I think of George Carlin and what he said about the word.
George was brilliant. His way of looking at words is why I loved him so much.
I get I look white. I’m not white by a long shot.
And I have taken so much shit for looking white by the racists of the world.
For the record my genealogy is in part a secret even to me. I could get one of the DNA kits.
It comes up every so often, typically in February.
What I do know for certain is that I’m Asian, Persian, Eastern European, African, Cherokee, Dutch, French, English, Scottish and Irish. I’m a mutt and a half.
I’m definitely not white. I’m as multiracial as it gets.
Call me a sinner, call me a saint.
I would change my ways no nevermind.
I’ve changed my ways so much.
I’ve lived like a gypsy, always looking for something else.
I’ve gotten tired of starting over. I’ve started my life over several times.
At 50 it’s starting to hurt. Starting.
I guess this means I can change again.
I love Chico. It’s my hometown.
Why would I ever want to leave?
I wouldn’t.
I live my choices whether I want to or not.
Call me a sinner, call me a saint.
It’s a matter of opinion.
That I love Chico, that’s an opinion.
I love that opinion and I’ll argue anyone that Chico might be fucked up as anyplace, but it’s got Bidwell Park.
I’m putting down roots.
No roots by Alice Merton, I think, comes to mind. That was my life.
I stopped and waited for the next song which is Don’t walk away by Electric Light Orchestra.
I’m not sure I can explain in a way that others will understand what this means to me.
My redemption, what did I need to redeem myself of?
A good chunk of my life.
While on my redemption tour I have a friend who is a good person except their views on the opposite sex and they don’t mind getting their hands dirty, doing illegal things.
That’s what I’m walking away from.
Think about that person that likes to piss you off, that’s what this person does to me.
That’s why I’m walking away.
It’s for my own good.
I did some shit for this person that they can’t even acknowledge.
I used to tell a story about what it means to be a king or a queen.
Lords and Ladies and they were the ones to take care of the people and the land.
The lord of the lord’s was the king and the lady of the ladies was the queen.
King and Queen were never found in the castle and wore no crowns. Instead they wandered through their kingdom helping people.
As the helped them they got to know them. Had they been good and decent people after they left something good would happen to them.
Had they been disloyal, and running a foul of the kings law, something horrific would happen to them.
King and Queen, what was their power?
Their anonymity. Had people known they were in presence of the king and queen the king and queen wouldn’t have gotten to see what they saw.
The moral of the story, do what you should be doing because you never know when the king and the queen will come by and you won’t even know they are there.
Hungarian, French, Irish, English, Scottish, Dutch, African, and Cherokee.
Hungarian has Eastern European, Asian and Persian.
One is as gray as they come. The Gray one.
The only thing I don’t have is Aboriginal in my DNA.
I look white with blue eyes.
My hair is curly.
This is what goes into the psychology of this one.
When I was born I was born deaf. It wasn’t until I was 2 and 1/2 that anyone noticed.
I responded when they aimed their emotion at me, even though I couldn’t hear.
This is the Empath.
As I remember the first memory I have is of a girl my age showing me a toy. I was 2.
The next memory was when I had the operation to put tubes in my ears so that I could hear. I saw this guy using a plastic glove he had blown up and drawn a happy face on it.
I remember thinking “What the fuck?”
I don’t ever remember a time I couldn’t read. My mom said I started reading at 3.
Now this one is highly intelligent as one could understand complex ideas and form a thought that understood what one was doing.
At 4 one’s dad caught one watching Public Broadcast TV. What one was watching was a class on advanced economics that one understood perfectly as one showed when one’s father asked what one was watching. One explained it using ones own words. Showing one understood what one was watching.
One’s father was a narcissist.
One couldn’t be smarter than him. That’s when it started. My IQ is 215 and when I saw that number I asked to take it again 195, I asked to take it again, 170.
After trying to make myself dumb, I realized I need to fuck up too much and that I couldn’t do.
The fact that my father was a narcissist meant he couldn’t accept the truth that anyone might be smarter than he was. My dad had a photographic memory, meaning he could remember everything.
My dad was a genius in his own right. My dad’s IQ was probably around 160-170.
My mom was intelligent as well.
My mom could sense earthquakes. If mom said an earthquake was coming and where it was going to hit, she never missed.
Empath.
My dad was a Telepath.
I don’t know where I got the Medium from.
My dad said once that he thought he was the only telepath. What that did to him was as brutal as brutal gets.
Think about it. You have this ability and no one knows because who would believe you in the 1950s and 60s when my dad grew up.
My dad was a tortured soul.
I was happy when he died and finally got the peace he desired. His life was as tortured as tortured gets. He lived with Parkinsons disease for more than 20 years. Watching as the disease took my father’s life.
I can’t imagine, nor do I want to know what that disease does to human mind. My dad used to be one of those that never failed anything he ever put effort into.
That PD hit him, that was judgement that he had taken in himself.
The higherself will fuck you up until you learn.
I’m truly happy to have learned this much and I look forward to learning more.
I channel what I write. It flows through me, not from me.
Do you think that valentine’s day had something to do with my amorous feelings towards her?
I’m an Empath, I ride the wave. So as valentine’s day was approaching I felt more and more, til she disappeared.
Then she came back, then disappeared again.
Right now, if I saw her, eh. If someone wants to talk to me, they can.
She has proven that she doesn’t want to talk to me and I’m good with that.
I’m at peace, fools fall in love, and I’m wise enough to know better.
Shame on me. Somebody smack my hand.
That’s the thing with me, you never really know what your dealing with, and most of that is on you.
Witches burn by the pretty reckless started.
There was a time that people such as me were burned or worse.
I can’t imagine burning to death.
I’m a natural born witch.
Let me give you an example.
I like Black Jack. If it’s me and the dealer, I lose my ass.
However if I’m sitting at third base with a full table, as long as people bet smart, people win. They change the dealer, people still win. One night I was watching them change dealer after dealer.
That’s just an example of shit I do.
Now imagine your me and you just wrote this and it’s true.
What would you do?
I haven’t been gambling in years, many of them. More than 20. Because gambling is a sin, but if you know your going to win, this is my quandary.
I’m letting you see me as I am at any given moment in time while remembering stuff along the way.
This is the only way you’ll get my autobiography.
Why should anyone have to pay jack shit to read me?
I don’t get some women. Sweetheart has not shown for work in the last couple days. I found her on Facebook and asked how her mother was doing. Then I said I wanted to be friends. If you don’t reply I’ll never bother you again.
My medicine by the pretty reckless is playing and I get it.
I’m a hardcore romantic. I buy flowers just because. I write poetry. I cook, I clean, I give full body massages. I’m a tantra master.
And I’ve been celibate for over 10 years now.
4 wives.
That has looking for the one. The one that gets me.
There have been several, several, several women that have applied to my mine.
Here’s the thing about valentine’s day, if you need one day a year to show someone how much you love them, what in the blue holy fuck are you doing with anyone?
My wives, and girlfriends can tell you that I never missed a birthday, anniversary, anything that was important to her.
I didn’t care, but she cared and that was enough for me.
I get I’m a rare commodity. I’m a gentleman who is intelligent. A gentleman who knows how to treat a lady, and will only accept a lady.
A lady needs no make up.
I loved my wives for what they looked like without makeup more than with.
However I did get a nasty piece of plastic out of my finger finally.
Now the power is on.
What you give by Tesla came on.
You do get what you give.
I look at my coworkers and I see a bit of of me in them.
I see the dude who couldn’t be any duder if wasn’t such a great dude at 25.
Then there’s the smart ass I was, you think he gets away with a damn thing with me?
He made me laugh once, but he didn’t know.
Then there’s the madame. She’s living her dream.
Then there’s the guy that I once was. Several of the guys I once was.
I got better.
Then there’s the two that i get it, but I wish I didn’t.
I love my life.
I love that my boss is left handed like me.
I get the dude who offered me ride and he is a dude for sure.
And I caught a couple dudes that reminded me I’m not the only one.
Working at Walmart has been fun. It’s beat the shit out of me. However, it’s a job I enjoy.
Always the masochist, just beat me, whip me call me Susan.
Actually on second thought, no.
That used to me.
I’m not sure what wally world has for me next, but it will fun.
No matter what you do, no matter where you go, have fun, if it’s not fun, make it fun. Because no one likes to work.
I’ve been saying this for more than 35 years.
I figured it would catch at some point.
Actually no I didn’t and I’m glad it never did. Then I would have to find a new way to say it.
I do this. When something I say gets around to the point where others are saying it, a friend once told me her daughters called it Jimisms. That’s when I knew I had get some original material.
I’m always on. Even when I’m not, I am.
The shows I’ve put on, the shows I will put on as a performance artist.
I love The Killers and that’s one band I’d love to see. Mr. Brightside was playing when I came in.
Coming out of my cage, this really hits home with me. I feel as if I’ve been caged for five years. Since my stroke.
Now I have two projects for the weekends that are going to take a lot.
Let me explain.
I understand at this level and it’s a high as fuck level.
I need to get, for lack of a better word, stupid. I have an IQ of 215.
For me conversation that isn’t about something scientific, spiritual, or from one my favorite TV Shows or movies or music.
If you can introduce me to new music, I’ll be your friend.
My favorite shows are the Star Treks, Andromeda, Farscape, Stargate SG-1.
At one point I had down loaded all ten seasons of SG-1. I have seen the entire series several times.
One of my favorites is when the have a show about the Stargate, called Wormhole Extreme. Carter, says it would be a great front for the program. If any gets wise they can blame the show.
I think about putting myself in front of people to hide. I’ve done it before.
Like, I really think there is a program, whether or not it’s Stargate, or something else. Now I can’t confirm it, it’s an idea the show have me with that episode.
I look at giving instruction on spirituality and I don’t want to do it. If I fuck up, I fuck their lives up. I don’t want that responsibility, but I’ll take it.
Responsible.
I’m responsible.
The understandings that come through as I write about this tells me I’m doing the right thing. It’s my decision and I’ve made it.
Fuck it, I’m doing it anyway even though it scares the shit out of me.
As much as this title is weird as fuck, it describes my life and thank you Sturgill Simpson for this one.
The next song Peace Easy Feeling by the Eagles.
I started writing a text book, and I like to write blog, so I’m writing on this blog.
The Abnormal Psychology of a Conduit.
I had an issue with abnormal, but I figure I’m not normal so abnormal it is.
This is scary shit.
Fuck it, I’m doing anyway.
This is how I got to be me. A series of scary shit and I said fuck it, I’m doing it anyway.
Why let fear paralyze me?
It makes no sense. I push through it knowing I got to do it. I can let the fear make it a miserable experience or I can push though the fear by saying fuck it.
In that moment I take the power back. I know I will survive whatever, so now it’s time to do it.
That takes less than a fraction of a second for my mind to set it’s course. Once my mind is made up, there is no changing it unless one can show a more efficient way.
Fear is not efficient. However fear can cause one to find efficiency. It can motivate one to know the most efficient way to do something.
I fear writing an actual text book, all the reviews and peer reviews and shit like that. Fear has given me the efficient way to write it, on my blog.
I figure if anyone can understand what I write, why should I charge anyone for anything I write?
I can come up with justifications left and write. I’ve already done that.
This is it.
This is why I don’t make money for being a Táltos. In ancient times a shaman would have another job because what he did for people he wouldn’t charge them.
Those who need, need.
It is a mockery of shamanism that any one shaman makes a living as a Shaman.
I’m a conduit. I’ve studied psychology, behavioral psychology, abnormal psychology and stuff.
A Conduit is a human who is an Empath, Telepath and Medium. They can know stuff from everywhere. How do they do it?
First off the individual has an IQ off the board, 200 would be the baseline for a functioning Conduit.
It takes that kind of intellect in order to know what one is dealing with. Their awareness of self and their surroundings borders on the supernatural.
What does that do to a human?
A ton of fucked up shit because one was born a Conduit, however one was born into a world where things such as Conduits are thought to be imaginary and works of fiction.
How does one know one is a Conduit?
I’ve done a shit ton of experiments on myself and others to understand what I do.
Each experiment proved without a shadow of a doubt I do what I say I do.
This a good place to start.
I’m writing the book to teach from the book later. You get to see what’s going in the book because we exist to share life.
We don’t exist to make others pay for what we have learned.
We exist to share life and all it’s joys and sorrows and learnings.
You must be logged in to post a comment.