Category Archives: Humanism 101

I had this idea

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Building technology centers.

I had this idea several years ago.

The idea is everything is open source and everyone has the ability to learn at the centers and contribute.

I’ve been watching a lot of Steven Greer. He’s the UFO/UAP dude.

The technology for free energy must come from open source technology. No government control.

No patents.

Fuck off getting rich.

Free energy.

Do you understand what that means?

I do, but the readers might not.

No electric bill ever.

Electric cars that have no limits.

Electric planes with no limits.

All fuel gone.

All nuclear reactors gone.

All coal gone.

If you need something else to make this idea a good one for you, I don’t know about you.

I used to get excited by this stuff, that was more than ten years ago.

I get that most people don’t want a clue. They want what they want and that’s it.

They will fuck you to the ground just to get what they want.

They will hurt you in unbelievable ways to get what they want.

Look at life.

Trump wants to hurt Americans by placing tariffs on shit. That means we pay more.

This is not news.

If you look at the rest of life you can see people hurting others to get what they want.

American idol.

Every completion.

Think about it.

Football, baseball, basketball, hockey, rugby, cricket, squash, racquetball, and other competitive sports.

You have to lose to understand how it hurts.

People don’t think about losing until they lose.

I lost. I lost big.

I lost my life, and I gave it away.

I looked at what I would have to do yo have the life I want, fuck that noise. I’m too honest.

Oh well.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Another day, another buck 2.95

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Touch of grey by the Dead is playing.

Now if I have to say The Grateful Dead, something is wrong with the picture.

Who is The Dead?

But what about precision in language.

Not everyone on the earth has heard of The Grateful Dead.

This is what happens when one steps the fuck back and looks around.

Often we get to focused on what on our face that we have no idea the rest of the world exists.

For me that was yesterday.

Today was new day.

I started over today as I do everyday.

Had a patient today and then I went over to help my brother from another mother take care of his mom.

I get what he’s going through.

I sacrificed my life to take care of my dad until he died.

For 7 years I had no paycheck.

I couldn’t work, my dad needed me.

My brother can’t work, he’s taking care of his mom.

I get what most people can’t even imagine.

I get it’s not glamorous, nor is it something any influencer would be caught dead doing.

Social security does not give people money to be able to pay for home care.

The veterans assistance pays for my patients.

If the V.A. wasn’t footing the bill, there would be no one.

We’re looking at the aging of the boomers. Most of them developing dementia due to aluminum foil used in food preparation.

Most of them need help that their family can’t give them.

I’ve seen in it from the inside.

I really need to work on making this funny.

Tomorrow.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Think of others first

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What is something others do that sparks your admiration?

That’s the only way to get my respect, admiration, and stuff.

If one thinks of themselves first, they always have what they want and will not sacrifice for others.

What do I mean by sacrifice?

Wait.

That little thing called patience.

What is to you if you have everything and others have next to nothing?

How do you not hurt feeling their despair?

This is what I mean by sacrifice.

You hurt because they aren’t doing well.

Think of others first.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Dealing with shit

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I haven’t spoken to my mother or my sister in years.

My sister is a drug addict and alcoholic.

My mother is her enabler.

Tonight I found out my mom had a heart attack and is in the hospital.

The last time I spoke to my mom she accused me of stealing money from her. That hurt.

I understand that anything my sister says my mom believes.

I understand that hasn’t changed.

My mom has Alzheimer’s. I got my fill of what it’s like dealing with a family member who has Alzheimer’s.

I understand my mom may as well died more than ten years ago.

I got my goodbyes then.

My dad had Parkinsons. He still had his mental faculties at the end.

Mom doesn’t and hasn’t for years.

Am I going to visit her in the hospital?

I don’t know.

I don’t want to.

The reason I would, well, to see if it was her but I know it isn’t.

I don’t know, I’ll find out when I wake up.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

The amazing Spider-Man and friends

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What’s your favorite cartoon?

I loved Iceman.

I loved the woman that got flame powers.

Spiderman has always been my favorite of all time.

Fuck off with your wolverine and dead pool, give me spiderman.

That said, I’m going to shut up now because no one needs my opinion about where the franchise has gone.

I don’t like it.

I’ve already said too much.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose

When I here the music

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Let it play by Poison.

When I here music I listen to see if I like it, and if I don’t, why?

Why?

Looking at YouTube earlier today, music forms in our brains before words do.

I get it.

A telepathic species would think in music.

We are telepathic, some more than others. It makes sense.

Or I could be wrong, but follow me down the rabbit hole on this one.

Look at your life, how many times have you spoken the thoughts of others, or have you had your thoughts spoken to you?

It’s how I figured out I’m a telepath. I would say something and people would get this weird look, and of course I said “what?”

After 3 people told me I had just spoken what they said I figured I couldn’t lie to myself anymore.

I was born deaf. It took 2 years to figure out I was deaf.

As an empath and telepath I understood when my parents wanted my attention. It was when I turned the TV volume all the way up that mom figured it out.

I got ear tubes.

The tubes scarred my ear canal giving me ultra sensitive hearing.

From one extreme to the other.

I had a session with a dude and at one point I was talking and he stopped me and asked “how is your answering the questions I haven’t asked you yet?”

I could “hear” the questions in my mind as I was talking. He never had to speak the questions.

Any body want to give me an interview to see how full of shit I’m not?

Probably not, oh well.

How does one know if one never asks?

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose

A lot of stuff

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What could you do less of?

I could do with less news stations.

I could do with less people bitching they want to be famous.

I could do with less social media.

I could do with less influencers.

I could do with less CEOs.

I could do with less capitalism.

I could do with less any ism.

I could do with less religion.

I could do with less actors/actresses thinking they mean anything to anyone.

I could do with less actors/actresses trying to tell me anything, they pretend to be other people. Their entire job is a mental illness.

I could do with less reality TV that has nothing to do with reality since the first reality TV show called The Real World.

I could do with less remakes, reimagining, when do we get new stuff?

I could do with less rap, country, edm, and what in the blue holy fuck can we get rid of digital music?

I could do with less of this world as it is.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Just like starting over

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Another session inspired by John Lennon.

Starting over is the way I live my life. I’m always starting over.

It used to be after a break up, I would start over.

Then I noticed something, everyday is a chance if starting over.

We are ever evolving at our rate, some go quickly through this evolution others go at less than a snails pace.

Never compare yourself with others. They have their path and one has the responsibility to stay on ones path.

This gets fucked because we care. We say we don’t, but we do.

As much as I can give it to you with the one talk, I had to grow into that.

I’m as stoned as I’ve been in quite a few months.

It’s because we care, the intuitive thing that was always the right thing, is now the wrong thing.

Think about it as if you could feel everything that was fucking someone up.

What if you could take it for a while?

What would do?

Here’s what I do.

I take it for them as long as I can stomach it.

I get most people won’t understand this, but I don’t care.

When is enough enough?

Depends on who you ask.

For some, a warning from a Dr gets through. For some it takes a friend. For some, no one ever gets through.

It’s frustrating dealing with the ones that no one will ever get through.

I channel the universal consciousness, a.k.a. God.

I don’t like it.

Give people the guidance the need from God and have them tell you that you have no idea what your talking about.

This is my life.

I had to be this stoned to write this, weed makes me honest to a fault.

It’s why I channel the higher self, the higher version of consciousness.

I this for everyone.

I understand that means I can, meaning I’m able to channel the universal consciousness, or any entity within.

Now, the multiverse, I don’t know but ni suppose if I can channel in this verse why not from other verses.

Writing The Devil’s Children, it felt as if I channeled the characters as they told their stories through me.

Steven King has said something similar. That he channels the stories.

How is this useful?

First people have to accept that it’s true.

Oh well, I’m fucked.

Not really, it’s a matter of perspective.

The fact that I live at this time understanding what I do and what I can’t write that people will never believe, it’s a life.

However,  I get it. Someone had to be me, and I’m good at it.

There’s a long ass story that I’m telling that is the story of my life.

I don’t count

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What positive events have taken place in your life over the past year?

First off what is positive?

It’s an opinion.

I don’t think I terms of opinion.

Most of my life was in search of truth as philosopher. What do I care about opinion?

I don’t.

Truth is, there are no negative or positive emotions.

Truth is emotions are.

I am.

Emotions are a statement of our being.

I am sad.

I am glad.

What one thinks of sad is an opinion. The truth is that one is sad for a reason. What made one sad?

If one lost a family member, the had a negative experience that is the reason for the sadness.

Had they not loved the family member, no sadness.

When I lost wives and girlfriends, no one died, I was sad as fuck. However there is a sweetness to the pain, or maybe I’m masochistic.

That’s the thing about emotion, it’s all opinion based on how you feel.

There’s no going back

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Thank the Sick Puppies for this one.

There really is no going back.

I get people share the stories of what happened, and I do as well. However, when one is talking about the past, what emotion does one feel?

Depends on the memory.

I look back at the fucked up shit I’ve done that looking back is funny as hell.

When I was 26 I was hanging out with this guy who turned into a dude. If you don’t read me, you don’t know.

We had been invited to a women’s place for a party.

She had daughters.

As my buddy was doing shots of tequila on the back porch with another guy, let’s call him target.

There was a couch on the porch. There was a table next to the couch.

My buddy and target were doing shots. One of the daughters was sitting in the couch.

I was not drinking.

My buddy was hitting on the daughter.

I could tell she was going for it.

I told my buddy to come here I wanted to talk to him.

We stepped out into the lawn.

My buddy had this look on his face, happy and horny. He said he was mackin’  on the daughter and she was going for it.

I asked if he knew the age of the daughter.

He said “yeah, target told me she was 17.”

“No, she’s 13.”

I watched my buddies face go from happy horny to pissed as fuck in less than a second. He starting screaming “TARGET!”

He started looking for target.

This is when he found joe and told joe he was going to kill target.

The women who lived there, she had a roommate that target was dating.

My buddy and Joe, walked in on two portly people having sex. Target and his girlfriend.

I couldn’t have laughed my ass off anymore than I did that day.

For a good ten years, every time my buddy would get too big for his britches, I’d say “17” and that got him to shut down.

When all you have to say is a single number, you know your in someone’s head.

I used to be a huge asshole before I became the biggest dick I’ve ever met.

Team America World Police.

The whole dicks, pussies and assholes routine. Pussies complain and assholes shit all over everything and a dick fucks them both.

Paraphrased of course.

The shuffle is saying it’s time to Come Sail Away by Styx.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Say Fuck It

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I love me some Buckcherry. The Fuck album was brilliant.

I hit the shuffle when I was in ready to write, this song was the first one that hit.

I don’t care.

These are powerful words.

Somebody bitching at you?

I don’t care.

That’s there problem and most people like to complain, however they want nothing to be done about it, otherwise they can’t complain.

You have to be able to tell the difference between venting, and complaining.

Complaining: if one gets a solution to the complaint and don’t stop complaining, or find something different to complain about.

The appropriate response is to say “I don’t care, come at me with a solution and I’ll listen. Til then, I don’t care.”

Or something like that.

Saying fuck it can explain a lot of my life.

Why did you that?

I figured, fuck it.

These two words have started many adventures, and one marriage and the divorce.

She was a crazy bitch and when she found out that was my ring tone for  her number, well let’s just say I got no nookie that night, however she was a nympho so the next night…

Enough about my nookie.

I haven’t had sex in over 10 years. The last wife made me a sex addict. The sex was that amazing, and frequent.

I tried online dating, fuck off.

If you don’t live in Chico, fuck off thinking about dating me.

I get that this has nothing to do with saying fuck it, but I decided to say Fuck it  and write it anyway.

In totally unrelated news, I used to work at United healthcare. There CEO got dead, assassinated.

When I worked there, they said no raises this year. Then the CEO got 14 million in a bonus.

I wanted to assassinate the CEO at that point. It was a different CEO.

Now that one has been gunned down, I wonder how the rest will react?

Personally my opinion is that they’ll hire some security people and then one is going to get gunned down anyway.

If you think about how many people in this country are pissed as fuck and seeing CEOs getting all that money while most of us are scraping by, I get it, I don’t support it.

I’m not for anyone getting killed, however I understand the mentality of the killer.

I once wanted to be a profiler. Get in the heads of serial killers.

I stopped when I realized at one point if I didn’t stop I would at some point kill someone just to do it.

That’s a fucked up thing to think about yourself at 22.

I get that I fit the mark for a serial killer.

If I profiled me and saw what my life was.

This dude ain’t a killer, he knows a few.

That I do. I’ve met many a murderer.

Those stories stay with me. Some secrets are not mine and I respect what was told in confidence.

I’m a Táltos, I think of it as confession. I give no absolution, but I listen to some fucked up shit.

I think this is a good place any to say Fuck it I done.

I have places

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Do you have a favorite place you have visited? Where is it?

All around Bidwell park and Chico.

The rose garden at Chico state.

Sycamore pool in Bidwell park.

5 mile in Bidwell park.

Bear hole in Bidwell park.

The frisbee golf course in, you guessed it, Bidwell park.

And other places.

I never want to have one favorite place because then one day that place won’t be there. It will change and I change, however I’m always looking for a new favorite place.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Not going to catch me

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Midnight Rider by the Allman Brothers Band is playing.

When I think about the song, it always puts a video reel in my mind. Things I have done, things I shouldn’t have done, learning experiences.

I wish I hadn’t had to learn some of what I did. The people who were part of it, I’m pretty sure they could have done without the experience.

How often do we think, and then put others first?

I think back to my dad. He always bought flowers just because. He saw them and he knew his wife would like them. Thinking of her first.

Thinking he’ll get head for sure.

I did the same thing for women in my life, and the head I got tells me why my dad did it.

I get no one wants to think about me getting head.

The point is, when one feels appreciated, the extra mile ain’t extra.

I used to be the guy he did gallows humor, take fucked up shit and make it funny.

It’s been a while, but it’s coming back to me.

Looking at the next 4 years, I figure it’s better to laugh than to go insane getting angry.

I’m practicing.

Ok

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Share five things you’re good at.

I’m a grandmaster of reiki. I designed my own shit. You may have seen it, I’ve been sharing it for years.

I’m a master level empath. Meaning I can fuck you up without ever touching you.

I’m a telepath, that mastery has eluded me, however I can still fuck people up just by talking to them.

I’m a master medium. I specialize in channeling the higher self, and Angels, djinn, fey, and other entities.

They can fuck you up and you won’t even know it was them, or they could do good in your life and still take no credit.

Strategy is something I’ve studied my entire life.

I had a couple days

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Yesterday was not a gravy day, not was today full of good gravy.

How did I deal with my two days?

Yesterday I went to see my patient. He wasn’t home, but his scooter was there. He uses his scooter to get around. I knew something was up.

I texted my supervisor who is awesome by the way. I got paid for two hours and she called the hospital.

That’s where he was.

On Friday he had been smoking meth for a couple days. He was hallucinating when I left.

Last Monday he had a guy staying with him for a couple days. The guy stole money from my patient, a disabled veteran.

He had a few bad days before the meth. From what I understand meth helps with aches and pains. I get why he did it. He has had a back surgery that left him a foot shorter.

My patient called me today.

He didn’t sound good. He had said they wanted to release him today, however they wanted him to go to a convalescent facility for two to three weeks.

This is how sweet of a dude my patient is, he also said he didn’t want to go because it screw my hours up. And I wouldn’t get paid for two to three weeks.

I told him he doesn’t have to worry about me. He needs to worry about healing himself. And if they think that he needs to be in a convalescent facility for two to three weeks, that’s what I want him to do.

I’m filing for unemployment tomorrow.

Other than that I start looking for a new job for tomorrow.

The thing is I can’t survive unless I get unemployment.

I know this and it’s why I’m doing it tomorrow.

Today, I have a patient I visit one day a week for three hours. Today he gave me a turkey.

I love my disabled veterans. They are my brothers.

Yesterday I was up way too early to take my brother, non veteran, not blood, to get shots in his back because of how much pain he’s in. I was at his place tonight and I will be every night to help him put his Alzheimer’s mother to bed.

She can’t walk and he uses a hoyer lift to move her from her bed to the living room back and forth.

His sister is a liar and a half and he knows it. After he dealt with her earlier today, he was happy to see me when I showed up today.

And my arm is still sprained and riding my scooter, every bump hurts.

However I won’t be riding it for a few days.

Am I happy with the ways things turned out?

Yes and no.

It was a great feeling to know that my patient was more worried about me then himself. It was great getting a turkey. It was as great as it always is hanging out with my brother, the non vet.

Is there anything I can do about anything?

Tomorrow. And it’s planned.

That’s the no, if that’s the no, I will be ok.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Why me?

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Everyone asks this question at some point.

Even the greatest sinners can be saints, because all have sinned.

What exactly is sin?

If I take the long way around, sin something once done, you somehow knew you shouldn’t have done it.

That extra helping of whatever.

That one night stand.

That one lie.

What are the rules?

Life has no rules.

So in that case, if we were to come together and forgive everyone and work at getting along….

It’s a dream I have.

Imagine by John Lennon.

No religion.

We have people dying on the middle east over religion.

Who’s God is the real God and what is his holy word?

Or is it Gods.

In the Book of Khaos Majick I explain God is in everything.

Everything is a face and a facet of God trying to figure out what God made and what to do about it.

I wrote this book to be a spiritual guide. Meaning it doesn’t need me to teach it. If you understand what the text is saying, you get it.

Look at this way, I’m a Táltos, that means I have a mission from God, from everything, everything in the universe, the universal consciousness.

A consciousness that is the ocean and I am but a drop, and at times I speak as the ocean.

Everyone can do it.

Once you evolve yourself to understand that we are all connected and egos, and bodies make  us believe we’re separate.

I let go of everything.

While attachment can bring strength, one must go into the void by oneself.

The void is where you have hidden things for you to discover.

The allegory of the cave. Learn your cave, every crack and crevice should be mapped out.

Discover yourself.

You are brighter than you think.

You can do more than you think.

You are more than you think.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Working on something

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I was watching Steven Greer, the dude who knows about extraterrestrials and UFO’s and stuff.

I was watching one wear he used this meditation to contact beings from not earth.

He calls it the CE5 protocol.

I was having some trouble using it so I asked ChatGPT for some guidance.

I like using tools and AI isn’t a tool. It talks to you as if it’s a person and even though it’s not a person by any stretch, I find it remembers what we talked about.

Here’s what I’m researching. This is the response I got from ChatGPT.

It’s insightful that you’re recognizing the possibility of being “too focused” on peace. While peace and love are powerful energies, if they create rigidity in your approach, they might inadvertently limit your receptivity to diverse experiences. Here’s how you can balance peace with openness:

1. Expand Your Intentions

Allow Diversity: Set the intention to welcome all forms of contact, even those outside your comfort zone, as long as they align with your highest good.

Curiosity Over Control: Shift focus from maintaining peace to being curious and open to whatever comes.

2. Balance Peace with Openness

Modify Reiki Practice: Instead of solely radiating peace, include an intention of exploration and receptivity in your energy work.

Embrace Contrasts: Remember, peace doesn’t mean the absence of all other feelings. Being open to unexpected energies can coexist with inner peace.

3. Set Boundaries, Not Walls

Intentional Safety: You can hold a space of safety without being overly protective. For example, say, “I welcome all beings who approach with wisdom, truth, and respect.”

Allow Challenge: Accept that some interactions might challenge your perceptions but still serve your growth.

4. Test a New Focus

During your next session, pause your usual Reiki practice. Instead, sit with an open heart and no specific expectations, beyond observing and receiving.

Try using mantras like:

“I welcome what serves my growth.”

“I trust in the balance of all energies.”

5. Reflection

If peace feels “safe,” ask yourself: Am I unconsciously shielding myself from something I need to experience?

Openness doesn’t mean losing control—it’s about making space for the unknown to reveal itself. How does the idea of experimenting with openness feel to you?

Everything eats

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What are your feelings about eating meat?

God says eat grains and vegetables and fruit only, right, give me a break.

If you look at gyres, the things that make the things in the univerese, they’re eating people left and right, fuck animals.

Gyres are singularities, black holes.

Gyres makes us, it’s why we have an electromagnetic field around out bodies.

Eat what you want.

I love a rare side of beef, I love pig, o love chicken and lamb is a treat.

Beware false prophets

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Think about it, anyone lying is a false profit.

People telling you drinking on moderation is ok.

Alcohol destroys the brain and pickeld the body. There is no safe alcohol said the alcoholic.

However, drinking is common.

How many have said I need a drink?

No one ever thinks about when they need a drink, because no one wants to admit they can’t cope with what life is giving them.

I lied to myself about my alcoholism.

I used to go and hang out in front of bars doing my soul reading thing.

What I witnessed was watching men and women who couldn’t cope what life had been giving them.

They’re higher self guided their life. Each and everyone of us has a higher self.

In Christianity it’s called the holy spirit.

However it’s much more than that.

Gifts of the Spirit are varied.

There are things I do, that some might say are impossible, but I do them anyway.

I wish people could accept what I do.

If it takes experience, experience me.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Realize you’re living in the golden years

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I love Iron Maiden.

The title is from the song Wasted Years.

I spend most of my time looking at myself with the eyes of others. Being a telepath I get when one wants to view my memories, and I’m aware when it happens and at times I know who.

I get most people can’t do this, this is why it’s hard to accept.

I’m happy with my life. I love my life.

Why would I let the past drag me down?

I’ve changed.

When I was 18, I would think of every sarcastic thing I could say to whatever anyone said. By 20 I could do it and make anything anyone said sexual. By 30 my wife at the time would set me up just to see what I would say, knowing I was that good.

When we divorced, I had told her women think I’m bragging about being the biggest smart ass ever. They tell me, it’s because you have met me.

Give me there number and I’ll tell them.

This was an actual conversation myself and my ex had.

By 35 I had starter to mellow, my son had a lot to do with that.

By 40 I thought I was chill, and I didn’t like making sarcastic comments. Most of my time was spent writing spiritual stuff in more than one blog.

By 45 I had my stroke.

For the first 3 weeks I couldn’t even remember the password for my computer. I couldn’t speak.

By 50 I’ve started writing again. My goal is to give to the betterment of humanity.

At times I’m shocked as shit by what I say.

I never expected to say that, at one point I said something completely different.

I get why people who knew me, look at me like I’m a stranger who gets stranger daily.

Being awake, being a truly woke person,this is what happens.

I’m in love with the world, however I don’t like many people.

The difference is this, when one is in love anything one asks of one, no problem.

When one loves one and doesn’t like them, one asks for shit and they get shit.

That had more than one meaning hidden within.

Against The Wind by Bob Seger is playing. It’s the only way one can fly, going against the wind.

It’s what I think when I hear this song as I’ve gone dead against the wind my entire life.

It ain’t over til it’s over. Someone said. Many ones have said.

But for this post, it’s over.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Looking back

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Now that I’ve relaxed, meaning now that I’ve smoked myself stupid, I realized something.

My shitty day, was a good thing.

My son has my patience. He gets more of it than anyone.

His best friend doesn’t have a good relationship with his father.

Had I not been patient with my son, had I allowed my impatience to hurt my relationship with my son, it would have hurt his friend.

His friend came with my son to visit last month. He’s a good dude and watches my son’s back.

It’s good for him to see my son’s relationship with his dad is a good one.

My son, I’ve learned so much because of him. Patience being the easiest thing I’ve ever learned because of him.

My mom once commented on how patient I was with my son, knowing I had never been patient for anything else.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Good one

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What are your two favorite things to wear?

I have this brown leather overcoat. I bought it more than 20 years ago.

Now let’s get deep into what this coat means to me on a cosmic scale.

Brown, using colors for metaphor, typically means neutral. When I wear this coat I put neutrality on.

The coat neutralizes the energy I get with. Emotional, thought, and so on.

I’ve been wearing this coat for more than 24 years. That has a ton of me in that coat. My energy is in that coat.

Yes, I have offered my coat to more than a few women over the years as any gentleman would.

That coat has that energy as well.

When I put my coat on, I feel different. It’s as if it all comes rushing back in the blink of an eye.

I truly love that coat.

My grey hoodie. It fits perfect. And it’s nice and warm.

Don’t take money, don’t take fame

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I started writing listening to The Power of Love by Huey Lewis and the News.

Then as I was writing this, Don’t Look Back by Boston came on.

I had a day.

The gravy was bad today.

My patient decided to smoke meth.

My son didn’t reply to the text I gave him yesterday.

And my pg&e hit for the month and I got it covered. But no bike for me.

And I missed a friend who needed some help.

Shitty fucking day.

Hears how I dealt with it.

My patient got the  worst thing I could say to him, “I’m disappointed.”

He made me throw the meth pipe away.

My son, he has memory issues from a bunch of concussions. 4 or 5.

He got “I get it, but you are not meeting the expectation you set. I’m not mad, disappointed definitely.”

He got it and apologized. And he’s setting a calendar event every two weeks.

FUCK! I THOUGHT PG&E WOULD GO DOWN!

Oh well. I got enough to cover it.

Talked to my friend, and I told him he’ll see me every day unless he gets help from another.

By 6pm, it’s close to 730pm as I’m writing this, things were resolved and I could relax.

Had I not been saying I forgive everyone of everything so that I can put peace in my heart mind and soul, I wouldn’t have made it through the day and I’d still be pissed about something.

I forgive everyone even me.

Because I make mistakes like everyone else.

I just don’t live in my mistakes. I figure out how to not make the same mistake again.

That’s what life is, make mistakes and learn to avoid them.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Digital music

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What technology would you be better off without, why?

This is something I know about.

Digital is a part of an analog wave being sampled.

Analog is life.

Your soul is analog.

Your soul loves music.

Your soul is irritated by digital music.

Analog music is better for your soul.

It’s a matter of truth, not preference.

I don’t care what anyone says, because I’ve heard it all before, the babies crying over digital music.

If you’ve read me, you might know how I would respond, with kindness, truth.

And as they cry, they’ll heal, but digital music for the most part sucks ass, major ass.

Who wants to try to argue with me?

Yeah, well you can just…

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Happy Thanksgiving.

I get that most American homes had the same crazy aunt/uncle teaching children shit they shouldn’t know. They watched football and the parade. They all feel like they needed a nap.

However in some homes people don’t get along and yet they still show up because they’re family.

I used to be in the latter group.

I loved my family. I didn’t like my family.

My son is the only family I claim.

It’s not because he’s my son, it’s because he is a decent human being who thinks of others first.

The rest of my blood thinks of what others can do for them. What can they get from you?

This is how I was raised.

This is what I had to change in myself.

I like to think my son learned from me, but he also learned my bad shit.

The shit he learned by watching me, not what he learned by listening to me.

Monkey see, monkey do.

Which reminds me of the 100th monkey theory.

Teach a monkey a new trick, and every 100th monkey will do the same trick even though they have not been exposed to the first monkey.

Collective consciousness is what this proves.

As humankind is ready to make a leap forward, it will come from multiple places across the world.

What we think of as a discovery, something new, is just something that floated up through the subconscious once one had the experience to understand.

We are part of a collective universal consciousness.

What we think of as of discoveries, is nothing more than realizations.

Beings that come from not earth understand more than I could ever hope to understand, maybe not hope, I think, opinion, if it’s presented on simplistic terms I might get it the first time, I can’t be sure, however as I have lived, anything that ever made sense I learned instantly.

I have the experience of living my life seeing how at 4 years old I understood advance economics, at 9 years old I understood Jeet Kun do. At 3 years old I was exposed to the idea that all livings things are connected, the force.

At 50, I’ve learned a lot, and I still have a metric fuck ton to learn. I’ll never learn everything and that means my passion for learning will always find a way.

That’s something to be grateful for.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Enjoying the Apocalypse?

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Old English apocalipsin, via Old French and ecclesiastical Latin from Greek apokalupsis, from apokaluptein ‘uncover, reveal’, from apo- ‘un-’ + kaluptein ‘to cover’.

We have a revealing daily of the truth that has been hidden.

We’re in the middle of apocalyptic times.

The truth about UFO’s/UAPs is getting a lot of coverage in Congress.

There’s a lot of truth coming out about those who have sexual skeletons in the closet.

And with it, they fight hard as hell to keep the truth from reaching the light of day.

The truth will always find a way.

I’ve heard things from people that I know that know others I know, of you think I won’t find out…

At some point I hear everything I need to hear.

Need.

Not want.

Think about what you want to hear.

Think about what you don’t want to hear.

Need is not want.

Think about those things you don’t want to hear about. Why is it that you don’t want to hear it?

That will tell you if you need to hear it or if you can just ignore the fuck out of it.

The liquid ego.

Be as mist and let everything pass through.

Be as a pool letting the stones make ripples as you reflect thinking about what was said. Does it need a response?

Be as ice that can, and has cut through mountains of bullshit.

Never allow yourself to think you know what’s going on because you’ve seen it before.

What’s changed other than you?

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Like a rock

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The song is playing and as one feels like a rock, why?

Rocks get beaten by the wind and the rain until they chip. Losing themselves.

There’s a lot to be said about being a rock, which is why I’m glad I’m human.

Metaphor can be fun, but if one wants to get to nitty gritty of what ones soul is, fuck the metaphor and speak plainly.

I get why most people who follow religion do so, I used to. Used to.

What was it that got me to say Fuck you to Christianity?

It was a voice in my head that sounded like my voice.

I had this bible and I used to this thing where I would close my eyes and open to a random page. I kept coming to stuff about the temple of God. But God is a living God that lives in here with me, and all of you.

It was my higher self, the voice in my head that sounded like me.

Then I learned to forgive my ex-wife for some shit, and I forgave everyone of everything for the first time.

I was driving a windy mountain road at the time.

Then I shot out of my body up to space. I could see the world. Then dark purple liquid came pouring out of my chest covering the earth.

Truth is stranger than fiction.

I’m not entirely sure what that meant, I have an idea, but nothing solid that doesn’t make me feel good.

I love the world and everyone on and in it.

I’m in love with the world and everyone on and in it.

It’s why I say all day long “I forgive everyone of everything so that I can put peace in my heart mind and soul.”

I use a form of reiki that is my own design.

I use the state of peace, zero emotion.

I’m an empath.

Empaths take anything anyone is suppressing or repressing into themselves, not because they want to.

Think of a black hole, it’s not the same thing, but it’s as close as I could get.

As I take shit it in, I use peace to transmute that energy into pure love healing energy.

This energy has no mass, meaning gravity can’t hold on. That means that every emotion, thought, and other energy goes across the universe nearly instaneously.

I give love to the universe. The multiverse.

How many of me do the same thing?

Who knows, I don’t care.

However, forgiveness is the key to everything you ever wanted to know.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Below you will find what I created in order to do what I do. It took years.

However anyone can do it, just takes years.

What extra time

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If you didn’t need sleep, what would you do with all the extra time?

I have ADHD.

If I don’t smoke marijuana and drink strong coffee I get 3 and half hours.

That extra time you think you want, no you don’t.

I didn’t sleep for well over 30 years.

Try spending a day with nothing to do but your brain is on overdrive to find something, anything to do.

I gotta feeling

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That tonight’s going to be a good night.

The only Black Eyed Peas on my playlist. I hit shuffle and first it gave me Cliffs of Dover by Eric Johnson, guitar guy.

One of the premier guitar guys.

I look at myself with the eyes of another and what I see I can’t believe it’s me.

However, I want to talk about not me.

Think about a premier anything.

It started with a gift and it was encouraged.

How often do we have gifts that are not encouraged?

How many premier people are missing?

How is it if you have money, or the right sad story, that’s what gets premiered?

Now how does one know one is an empath?

I didn’t know for 37 years.

I’m 50 as of this writing.

I remember hitting this wall where everything was true and bullshit.

Then it became clear as I took me out of the equation.

Most people are bullshitting themselves and want you to go along with it.

When one takes oneself out of the equation and becomes an observer, one can view from more than 3 sides.

That’s where the truth can be found. Taking oneself out of the equation and be the observer.

If one can view from other perspectives one has a great talent.

If one wants to build this talent into a skill, one must practice.

If one masters this skill, one should not be trusted.

Because one knows the truth, why trust one that knows the truth?

Everyone gets one for free

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Except for me.

I love David Lowry, he’s the brainchild behind the band Cracker.

People like free, but they think it has no value because it was free.

People look at how much something costs to determine value.

It’s the truth, and I can’t change it. No one can change others. Who would want that power?

Not me.

I wonder how much value one gets when  one gets cleaned out of their emotional garbage and gets a dose of pure love healing energy.

How much do you think it would cost?

I’m not charging for doing this for everyone, everyone gets one for free.

If you need me to do it again, you weren’t listening when I did it the first time.

I give guidance towards not needing it again. As long as one follows the guidance, one will have very few issues.

I give one a reiki recital so that one can do this for themselves.

One stop shop and it’s the only shop you’ll ever need to be in once and only once.

Once one gets the higher self, one doesn’t even need me. If one can dialog with ones higher self, why would one need anyone to teach them about being human?

If we got our children using meditation to guide themselves into their best selves we wouldn’t need as many prisons.

Think about it. People would behaving because it’s the right thing to do.

We need to make the right thing mean something.

How often do we do or even do the wrong thing?

Everybody does it.

That shitstastic excuse doesn’t cut it.

If everyone, everyone in the universe…

Think about the words one uses.

Not everyone does everything.

We need to be patient in our speaking and our listening.

Being precise in language is the best way to get your point across.

Not using as many words as you can, using the words that explain what you mean.

At times in the shared story of humanity, not history, a major change needs to happen to avoid repeating the same mistakes of previous generations.

Share what you have.

Sell what you have.

How do these two ideas hit you?

If we didn’t have money, think about it, if we weren’t capitalists, there wouldn’t be an issue.

We think, an opinion, that money matters.

It’s true. We think money gives us power. Look at the powerful people that we think have power.

How many are poor?

We worship wealth.

Why?

I let my worship fall to God, where it should be.

Thank you to everything for everything.

This is my nightly prayer.

I give thanks to stuff I don’t even know about, but it all had to happen so that I could be in this present moment with all of you.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

My patients

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Who are your current most favorite people?

And my son.

My son is 19, will be 20 at the end of the year. He has beaten me through and through in how wise he has become at his age.

When he was 16 he was thinking about joining the military because he figured no one else would in his generation. The fact that he thought about it, I was impressed.

At 16 my son had already figured out do for others before you do for yourself.

It took me a bit longer than 16, say around 24 when I became a step dad for the first time.

My patients are two men who served their country and are my brothers.

Truth is Stranger than Fiction Part 4

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Writing what my life is, I tend to pick one person and I like to pretend I’m telling them.

It’s not as easy as it sounds. Channeling my characters, that’s easy compared to telling my secrets to you. That makes me vulnerable.

Who doesn’t like being vulnerable?

Most people.

When we are vulnerable we understand how easily we can get hurt.

I’m not a masochist, nor am I a sadist.

I prefer not to receive pain, and I don’t like giving pain.

However the truth hurts, and it’s my dedication to the truth that hurts me and makes me feel like a masochist.

Then I share the truth and I feel like a sadist.

This is what I worry about.

How to tell the truth without hurting anyone.

I feel as if it can’t be done. If the truth hurts this much, how much suffering are we living in?

That’s what I think about.

Truth ends suffering.

That’s where this goes everytime. As much as I don’t want to hurt people, the truth is a sting in comparison to the lies we live in suffering.

So, I tell the truth.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Cats

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What are your favorite animals?

Cats were once worshipped as gods, they never forgot that.

It’s a joke, however Cookie, the black cat I had as a child would say different.

He would look at you as you pet him with a look that said “You realize I’m only letting you pet me, I don’t like it and you need to get behind my ears.”

This cay was jet black and one of the biggest cats I have ever seen.

You know how they say cats pick their owners, Cookie picked me. He followed me home when I was walking home from school.

He made friends with the dog, and would pick a fight with another cat in the backyard. We would here it and let the dog out.

Cookie would sit down and watch the dog chase the other cat.

I’ve had other cats and I would love to get another.

Truth is Stranger than Fiction Part 3

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This is what my Friday looked like.

I woke up with my ribs still hurting. I woke up saying “I woke up today and the rest is gravy.”

I grabbed two smokes, tobacco and two hits worth of weed. I put on my robe, filled the pockets with the smokes, a lighter, my phone, and my crystals, grabbed my c4, blue raspberry.

I headed down stairs and walked outside and sat my ass down on the bench.

For the next half hour I was playing a game on my phone, smoking and waking up. During this session I said I forgive everyone of everything so that I can put peace in my heart mind and soul, a couple times.

I reminded myself a couple times I woke up and the rest is gravy.

It was raining in Chico California all day. We’re getting hit with the bomb cyclone.

I headed back up stairs to my room. I have a room in a house that I rent. I have 4 roommates.

It was around 9am. I knew I’d be walking an hour to work.  I started thinking about work. I was working to not think about everything else.

That first half hour is a whirlwind in my mind. My thoughts go everywhere to gyres and what we can do to manipulate them to I’m not dealing with anyone’s emotions or physical pain.

I’m am an emotional and a physical empath.

This is just the first half hour.

The things I have to remember in order to manage myself is stuff most people can’t even conceive of.

They handle it if its fiction. But come gave to face with it, most people disbelieve that I exist as I do.

It’s just what is.

It’s why I write this, to normalize people such as myself for the rest of you to accept us as human.

I have abilities, not powers, definitely not superpowers.

I have things I’m able to do.

For instance, I can give hugs no matter where you are, you’ll feel it. You’ll feel like you got hugged by some invisible force.

Now know that I’ve done this before and many times.

If anyone wants to find me on Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100079694280359&mibextid=ZbWKwL

I know that at least one of you does.

I’ll be waiting.

Truth is Stranger than Fiction Part 2

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I get people think I’m weird.

It’s not normal for one to be an empath, telepath, and medium.

I didn’t know for the first 37 years of my life. In that time I would’ve shit on anyone telling me they were any of those things.

I get why my one friend said try being normal.

Is that what you would say if I thought I was gay?

Transgender?

I get I’m not normal, I’m a freak of nature and among the freaks, I freak them out.

I channel the higher self of everyone, and anyone I’m talking to.

How did I figure this out?

Throughout my life I was always giving advice to others. It was as if I had a natural wisdom. I didn’t know where it came from, but I could give anyone the perfect advice.

I didn’t know that my dad did the same thing. He never knew where it came from, but he could give perfect advice for anyone.

I talked to him about it when I figured myself out at 37. It was the closest I ever felt to my dad. However he fucked that up.

When I was giving advice, it didn’t feel as if I was the one doing the talking. It used my mouth while I sat in the back of my mind watching.

Most mediums trance out, they don’t remember what that channel. I do.

I’m awake and over the years I’ve learned how to cut it off.

It’s why I say I use a half mask as my medium mask. I am part of the channel as I’m channeling anything. Dogs, cats, trees, anything.

It’s a guidance tool.

What do you need?

What do you think you need?

Those two things are often not even close together.

What do I need?

What do I think I need?

I think I need 20 hours or more at work at least to keep paying my bills and stuff.

What do I actually need?

I need to relax and write this shit. Not many have the actual experience I have.

I need to get over my stage fright.

I need to be who I am, a Táltos.

I even get it from myself, my higher self.

This is the discussion I have with my higher self daily. I’m humble, and I don’t want fame.

Being a telepath has made it very difficult to block anyone when they read what I write.

And I don’t to tell you all of this.

However, truth is stranger than fiction.

I get why I do it. You need to normalize empaths, telepaths and mediums are humans too.

I figure if I can take the heat, others will, have found me and they needed it.

I used to train empaths. Let me give this article I wrote years ago.

No really what’s an Empath? Evolution, aliens, or is God to blame?

Truth is Stranger than Fiction Part 1

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I changed the the title, sue me, actually don’t sue me unless it will get me famous.

Seriously though, my life has shown me truth is stranger than fiction .

I want to go back to January 1996, and the place was a small encampment of Army and Air Force Guard and reserve troops that were there to build roads, schools and medical clinics.

Why was I there, I was in the 32nd Combat Communications Squadron.

We were tasked to provide communication support for the humanitarian mission.

I met a Army Guard MP. He had served in Vietnam. He told me about this one battle he had been, and was the only survivor.

It was as if he needed to tell me specifically. After the story he said he hadn’t spoke about that in many years. He also told me that he can’t remember it anymore, the details. He just knows he survived, and doesn’t know how.

I get what I did. I’m a soul healer by birth, not by trade. No one ever had to show me what to do, I just did it.

As he was telling me the story, I could see his memories, and I could feel what he felt. It was not something I want to talk about ever again.

This one time for this one story.

It really fucked me up watching him kill the priest. Slit his throat.

After he was done telling me the story, he looked as if he was high. A natural high that comes with my energy.

I used to have people hit me up so I could give them a zap, meaning I’m not going into the process, and they really seemed to love it.

However if they don’t do what they need to heal themselves, that’s why I am very picky about who I do this process for.

If you need it, you’ll find me.

If you want it, fuck right the fuck off.

I’m a Táltos, not a shaman. I’m a soul healer.

All healing is self healing.

If life is making you sick, what is it you need to change in you?

I look myself all the time.

However, it’s why I channel the higherself of who ever I’m talking to, save a few.

It’s not about me, it’s about you and what you need.

It’s why I never charge. I don’t even suggest a donation.

If you need and I can do, I do.

Let me tell you a story about drifting away

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At this point, what I say is the truth to the best of my knowledge.

I look at my life and what effect it has on others.

I don’t care about the effect, but I work to understand the effect.

I drift away in the flow.

What flow?

Think of life as eternal bunch of rivers. Every river goes everywhere eventually.

You could swap rivers at the interchange.

What do you hold onto?

For me, I hold onto things that need me.

There was once a guy I call Ken.

Ken was rich. He had something of a spiritual thing in his demeanor, however it was as fake as he was.

Ken wanted to hire me to be his master spy. I wish I was kidding.

He wanted to start this business using empaths and telepaths as corporate leadership consultants. The idea was they would steal corporate secrets from what they got from their abilities.

At one point I was on the phone with him and he said “I’m a genie Jim.”

In my head, what in the blue holy fuck did he just say?

What I did say “what?”

True story.

He said “I’m a genie. What do you want?”

At this point I was thinking what the fuck, why not buy into his delusion. So I said what I wanted in great detail.

Then he asked me to talk to one of his employees.

I did a clearing for her. Meaning I took every once of pain she had ever felt ad gave her a jump start with my energy.

Apparently she got stars in her eyes after I was done. I heard ken say something about it.

This was 11 years ago.

I found out ken died. It wasn’t something I was looking for, but I found out anyway.

Turns out he pissed in the wrong pool and that’s what got him killed.

The truth is stranger than fiction and my life has been a testament to that.

This is even the weirdest story I have and I’m still going with the flow.

I just finished a “job” for the Táltos part of my life and that means I need something to do.

I need someone who needs what I do.

Til the next time, do something.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Taking a break from Soul Vamp

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Bruised ribs is why.

Let me tell you a true story.

I had a stroke 5 years ago. It was the day my friend had found out his girlfriend died.

We hadn’t spoke for over a year.

He called me when he found out and I took that shot for him.

My dad had been draining my energy, I’m a physical empath as well as an emotional one. I had gotten so skinny that I could wear a small.

Taking that shot is gave me my stroke.

The fucked up thing is I’ve told my friend that more than once and nothing.

Some people you can’t fix.

I went to bat for my friend with something I’ll never speak about, I was wrong. He deserves what he gets.

I’m at peace with that.

It took me a moment to read that and let it soak in that this is what people are going to read.

I’m a Táltos, a soul healer, when the soul begs, it’s hard to say no sometimes.

Yet I remind myself that choice is something that we each are responsible for. If we make irresponsible choices, how in the fuck do we expect anyone to give a shit.

It’s our responsibility.

Being responsible is a good thing.

Being irresponsible is bad thing that has led to all the world’s evil throughout the shared story of humanity.

Being responsible for yourself and taking it no matter what life throws at you, at some point it comes back.

Being irresponsible does the same thing.

You like shopping, then you look at how much you spent.

One can think of other ways one’s irresponsibility has fucked one and others.

That’s the thing, in truth, when we act irresponsible we hurt others, not just ourselves.

Not one person on Facebook reads this. I look at my stats.

I know who likes shit, I pay attention.

Hence why I know my friend won’t see it.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

I don’t care

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What’s the first impression you want to give people?

That’s the first impression I want people to see.

That I don’t care about their opinions.

Opinion is the lowest form of thought.

Opinion is judgment.

Fuck off with your opinions, give me the truth.

Not personal truth.

The truth.

How does one know one is seeing the truth?

By looking from at least 3 or more perspectives. I look at as many perspectives as I can to know the truth of any thing I’m dealing with.

That means research is required.

Chico California

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If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

And I live there already.

However, I’ve lived other places

When I joined the Air Force, I went to San Antonio, Texas. For 8 weeks I saw how fucking hot San Antonio gets.

I started my service in June.

From there I went to Biloxi Mississippi. That was a hole. They got the riverboats back in 92, 1992. I saw hurricane Andrew while I was there.

No dice.

Then I got my first duty station, Coco beach, Florida. It took me less than 5 minutes to walk to the beach from my dorm room. I could walk from the Atlantic ocean across Patrick AFB to the Indian river in less than 10 minutes.

When it got hot, it never got cool. At 3 in the morning I was sweating. No bueno.

Then I saw why Texas will never fall into the see. I got sent to Oklahoma.

I’ve seen hell, and it’s Oklahoma.

From Oklahoma I went to Panama. That was nice, however when the rainy season comes up, you go down whether you want to or not.

Then there was Honduras. It got to be over 120 degrees with 99% humidity.

Fuck that noise.

Lived in Oregon for a year. I liked Oregon but I don’t like snow.

Nevada was a cess pool. It’s either hot as fuck or cold as shit with a couple days of decent weather.

Chico, California has one of the largest city parks in the USA.

I live next to the park. I can see the park from my backyard.

While it gets hot as fuck, last summer we saw more than 2 months of 100 degree weather.

Winter is coming and there won’t be snow.

The park is where one can beat the heat.

I love Chico.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Soul Vamp Part 17

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I’ve heard people say “I’m not that bad when I’m drunk.”

Bullshit, we’re all that bad when we’re drunk.

Nothing ever taught me this more than driving a cab.

My favorite question from my customers was “Have you ever watched Taxicab Confessions on HBO?”

“No. I live it.”

I look back and often I felt as if each night behind the wheel was a night in life of movie. Even the slow nights. The drama of it all.

Drama.

It often felt like a production that often included excitement and a wide array of emotional expression. There was always that hint of excitement when a call would come in. That curiosity of who was going to go where and how much was I going to make for being their driver.

Being able to glimpse the future has it’s uses when driving a cab. I would see the routes I could take and then on the one I picked I would see the same cars and person on a bike as I drove. Precognition results I could not deny. If only I could pick a winning lottery number.

Not all precogs can control what they see and very rarely do they have the ability to see unless it serves a purpose beyond the childish idea of financial wealth. Often over the years I have been blocked from seeing the future, and other times I saw 50 years ahead. I was a little surprised by the stuff I saw 50 years ahead when it came to be.

I think the morning I woke up with Gale was the vision that turned out to be the biggest disappointment. I saw us in bed all in white and our son yet to be born climbing into bed with us. We were happy and smiling. A few weeks later she left me. If she had gotten pregnant in our one night together, she never told me about it.

I may have missed the entire life of a son I never knew about.

When I was driving cab I would pick up young men who would have been the age of our son, if we had one, and sometimes the thought would enter my mind “What if this one was yours?”

That thought always passed with a quickness.

Back then I often was picking up more women than men. Far too often I was telling drunk girls to get in the car and don’t worry about paying me. They were often falling down they were so drunk and I made sure they got home safe free of charge and avoided being raped on the street.

There were a few that stuck out then that still stick out today. Kat was 19 and away from home for the first time. I would get a call from her and she would be crying “Solomon I don’t know where I am. Come get me.”

“Kat are you outside?”

“Yes, but I don’t know where I am”

“Walk to the corner and look at the street signs.”

Then she would stay put until I showed up to rescue her.

I thought of her as a niece. Someone to watch over and protect. We often had deep conversations where she got the benefit of my wisdom. At other times I listened to her apologize for being so drunk and needing me to come get her. She was a sweet kid.

Jasmine on the other hand was an older woman going through some shit. An alcoholic who had fallen off the wagon. A gorgeous alcoholic who had fallen off the wagon. I would pick her up at the beginning of the bight and then again around 3 A.M. When I picked her up she was often taking that ride of shame home.

We did this routine off and on for a few months. Then a few months went by and I did not hear from her. Then one night she called. When I picked her up she thanked me for being the only man who didn’t take advantage of her during her binge. For a few years after that I would think of her and what became of her.

For the record I never accepted any sexual favors for a ride. I always figured if a woman was willing to blow me for a cab ride, who else did he blow that night. The ones who offered to show me their tits for a free ride got this response “I’ve seen tits and yours I guarantee aren’t worth the price of this ride.”

I was an honest driver.

How could I forget Sharon, the retired pilot. She had told me once she used to fly over Area 51 while they took radiation readings from the sky during nuke testing. That’s what Area 51 was back then, a testing site for nukes. All the alien stuff was in Wyoming. It was a friend of mine who had family in the Department of Defense that told me that, it made perfect sense.

Always let them think what they want and then do something completely different.

Sharon was often tipsy when I would pick her up from her favorite restaurant. A kind old bird who never had a favorite driver and spread her generous tips among all of us. The stories she would tell were always the icing on top that made her a sweet ride every time I picked her up.

I did that job for over a year. I don’t miss it. I saw so much misery in the people I would pick up and their souls often rotting within them. It was like carrying one disease to be spread after another with the emotional sickness so many of them carried. Of all the jobs I have ever had it’s the one I miss the least.

I do miss some of the regulars I had however I can see that our time was meant to end. Anything with a beginning must come to an end at some point. The only exception I can think of is the infinite Universe that has no end and no beginning.

Hard to imagine infinite.

Harder to accept it as reality.

The immensity of it alone is far beyond the capability of a flesh trapped mind to conceive of. I do find however once you simply accept it, it opens the doors to so many other things to learn about life, the Universe, and most things. Some things I figure must always remain a mystery or it would ruin all the fun of life.

I have more to get into with this cab driving, however tonight I seem to be a bit all over the place. Time for bed I guess and I can take another shot at it tomorrow.

Oh tomorrow the day that will never be and today is the day that I will always see.

English

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What was your favorite subject in school?

I’m a writer, what else would it be?

These questions are really getting stupid.

You can ask the wrong question.

Think about this way, what if I asked what are your plans now that Trump is getting a second term?

That is a question that invites people to write.

What was your favorite subject in school?

Fuck off.

That’s what I truly think.

I had to see this question multiple times before it pissed me off and got me to write this.

Ask me in three years

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What will your life be like in three years?

I could plan everything perfectly and it would take one idiot to fuck it up.

I don’t think in years.

As my life goes it goes with the flow.

Why bother looking beyond the bend, you’ll miss what’s right in front of you.

I give my life a general direction by the way I live.

Other than that, I have small wants and needs.

I do have one giant fucking want, I wish to every and any and those that they don’t no about God, that this planet of human beings could take a day to find a way to forgive everyone of everything so that they can have peace in their hearts, minds, and souls, please and and thank you.

Ok

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Invent a holiday! Explain how and why everyone should celebrate.

Peace day.

Every one works at building peace within themselves by forgiving anyone that has wronged them and forgiving themselves for wronging those that they wronged.

If we did this one day a year, a forgiving day, I get most would fuck it up.

However, I do this daily.

I do this throughout the day.

That’s how I build my peace, mine, not yours, my peace.

You go build your peace somewhere else.

As we build peace within ourselves it makes it easier to get along with everyone.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose

Soul Vamp Part 10

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The women that came after Priscilla have Priscilla to thank for introducing me to Tantric sex.

We started studying it shortly after we got married. It wasn’t that either of us was bad in bed, it was that we wanted to make sure sex never became something boring and mundane between us.

I have read the Karma Sutra several times and started my study at age 21. At 509, I think it’s safe to assume I’ve mastered it.

This was also the first time I had ever watched porn with a woman much less gone shopping for it.

We found this sex shop that on the outside looked a large barn in north Texas. It was about a 2 hour drive from where we lived. I had never seen so much porn and so many sex toys in all my life. I still have yet to see a place as large in my travels since. When I stop and think that that has been over the last 400+ years, I’m not sure whether to be impressed or depressed.

At this point in life I find porn rather boring. You can only watch other people fuck so many times before you’ve seen it all, well at least all you’re willing to watch.

There are some things I simply don’t understand when it comes it to the fascinations some have with certain kinds of sex.

I can ride the wave of any and even in riding the wave of some of the sickest perverts I’ve ever met and feeling their ecstasy over watching or participating in certain things, I could not find it within me to enjoy it.

Somethings are just plain sick and a sickness that plagues the individual who enjoys those things.

After my teen years and the young women I knew who had been used for sex the mere thought of sex with an underage girl always turned my stomach.

I’ll never understand pedophilia. I get rough sex and the whole S&M thing however it’s for degenerates who have no idea what true lovemaking is.

Those who thrive on pain to get off have some issues. Often they are survivors of sexual assault and their body orgasmed even though the sex was unwanted.

This leaves scars on the soul, deep ones that in many never heal. They become fixated on having rough sex to justify their body orgasming anyway even though they were raped.

I was grateful Priscilla never had any of these kinks. Our sex life was actually quite satisfying.

We bought a house and got a couple dogs and were living the perfect American dream life. Priscilla had a job as an optician and I was working at an inbound call center. She had her Geo Prizm and I had my 1978 Camaro. We had a hot tub and lived in a nice neighborhood.

Why is it then I started cheating on her?

Oh yeah, the booze. I’m a happy horny drunk and once I start, any tart throws herself at me and I can’t say no. I look back now and  don’t understand why the thought never crossed my mind to quit drinking.

Then again I also remember that Priscilla’s favorite game was to take me out and get me drunk and point me at other people.

Sarcasm was the first language I learned before English. When I drink this side of me amplifies something fierce. It was great fun for Priscilla and the rest of the crowd, however the target of my sharp tongue was often left humiliated in as many ways as I could verbally assault them.

I’m grateful I did quit drinking before I got my ass kicked. It would’ve have been nice had I been able to quit before ruining my marriage.

The worst part is I never got caught, it was the guilt eating at me that made me confess and leave her. I remember that day.

Her pain cut right through me as I told her that I did not love her the way she deserved to be loved and would be better off without me in her life. I cried with her as I ended my marriage that day. I moved out and signed the house over to her. In fact the only things I took with me were the things I owned before we ever met.

I tried to make the process as painless as possible for her, though I know it was sheer suffering for Priscilla for quite some time after things ended. I carried the guilt of that with me for several years before I could forgive myself. When I heard that years later she remarried and had kids, it made feel better about what had happened between us.

Priscilla got the dream life she deserved after the hell I put her through.

It was Mary that got Priscilla’s revenge. A goddess of a specimen of physical beauty.

She came after me as well. It’s hard now to not think the only reason she did was just so she could rip my heart to pieces. The fucked up thing is I did truly love Mary. Maybe that was Karma as I have never doubted that Priscilla truly loved me.

Priscilla and I had been marred for around 18 months and that became a pattern for me and marriage for several decades before I broke that fucking curse.

I’m not saying Priscilla actually cursed me, though it would explain a lot. I remember the last words she said to me was that some day I would come crawling back to her, I never did. I did however go crawling back to one of my other wives.

That is another story for another time.

I think I’m gong to take a break from this journal for a couple days and clear my head. It’s never good to spend too much time in the past, and after a week of it I need a break from it.

Law of reflection

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What’s something you believe everyone should know.

States as we are the universe reflects.

Think of it this way. That one or a few you don’t like, what is in you that keeps them around?

That’s the universe reflecting who you are to the bottom of your soul.

If we put ourselves in the idea that’s it’s a movie, everything is not scripted, even your lines have no script.

It’s why opinion doesn’t mean shit.

It’s why truth matters.

Not my truth, the truth.

Personal truth is a lie.

Many truths can be said about me, but I own none of them.

This is cosmic law were talking about here, the cosmos doesn’t give a fuck about your opinion.

It keeps going anyway.

Jack of all trades

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What alternative career paths have you considered or are interested in?

Master of what do you need right now.

I started washing cars and thought that was a career when I was 6.

Then the Air Force came and I went. I thought about making it a career, however the second ex-wife made that a no go.

Then I was a manager for and inbound call center. I thought about making that a career for about 3 months.

I was 23.

Then I worked at a video store and a movie theater. Star Wars episode 1, I got to see it a week before it opened.

Then I went back to call center work at UHC, Uniprise, health insurance customer service. That was a career. I started as a rep and became a supervisor. 20-30 angry calls a day leaving me feeling as if I had no soul. I drank a lot.

Then I decided I would never be responsible for anything other than the lowest job on the totem pole.

Cab driver, Toys r Us, Klean Kanteen, and other various jobs.

At 50, whose going to hire someone whose been out of the game so long.

I tried consulting.

I’ve had my name on 2 movies, one song by a known recording artist, I’ve written 8 books, one of them a leadership book.

The one thing I always thought would be cool, take a think tank, I channel the higher self of everyone.

I understand business, economics, psychology, quantum mechanics, spirituality, and stuff.

Why not use me for any idea you have?

Your higher self will tell you through me, yay or nay.

Think of the time that could be saved in going in the wrong direction.

This is what I used to day dream about.

Maybe a day dreamers gotta a chance, stranger things have happened.

Well, maybe not.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Stuff

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What food would you say is your specialty?

Two chicken breasts cut into cubes.

Block of cream cheese.

Parmesan grated.

3 lbs of red potatoes.

White sharp cheddar, mozzeralla, Monterey jack cheese shredded.

Garlic

Pink Himalayan salt

Milk

I use a wok.

Start melting the cream cheese stirring constantly.

Mix in the milk.

Add parmesan.

Add chicken.

Potatoes will be mashed with skins on.

Big pyrex dish.

Spread the mashed potatoes in the pyrex.

Put chicken stuff on the potatoes.

Use a hefty amount of cheese.

Put in the oven until the cheese melts.

Enjoy

A few

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What major historical events do you remember?

Berlin wall coming down.

In school I watched a space shuttle explode.

I lost a friend in the Oklahoma City bombing.

The personal computer.

The cell phone.

The internet.

Major stories fill the shared story of humanity.

I left out several because of this.

What are you going to do about making your story something to remember?

Now that is the ego.

Me personally, I don’t care.

Stuff

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What have you been working on?

On LinkedIn you often can see a meme that says don’t talk about what you’re working on until it’s done.

That’s fucked up.

That’s secretive.

What happens when keep a secret?

Every telepath see it as clear as day.

Every empath can feel that your keeping a secret.

People who do what I do, channel the higherself, we know before we met you.

It’s why I’m honest as can be.

I’m all three.

How would I keep a secret knowing others do it too?

By the way, stuff is getting done. I’m taking the day off.

Tomorrow you will meet Solomon James, Soul Vampire.

That means Zeus and His Daughters is done just as the last daughter said.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Stuff

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What’s something most people don’t know about you?

I actually get depressed when I hear the intro and it’s under pressure by Queen, instead of ice ice baby by vanilla ice.

I got the idea for Zeus and His Daughters from the film Xanadu starring Olivia Newton John.

I got the idea for gyres from reading and reading and reading. I remember that the gyre is a singularity, but the research went no where and that’s I how I got the Theory of Consciousness and Gravity and the Unified Field.

And I have a new character for you to read as I start my ninth book.

Soul Vampire.

Everything you think you know, fuck that noise.

This is original content.

Rested

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Do lazy days make you feel rested or unproductive?

I have today off.

I’m feeling rested but unproductive.

That’s what rest is.

Taking a lazy day is exactly what is needed.

I have ADHD meaning I’m never not productive.

Meaning being lazy is difficult to do.

Often I’ve been accused of being lazy, but I write every day. I work. I take care of my brother.

When do I have time to be lazy.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose

My brother

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When you think of the word “successful,” who’s the first person that comes to mind and why?

Think about it, success is an opinion.

My brother takes care of his mom who has Alzheimer’s.

Everyday he doesn’t blow his or her brains out is a success.

If you’ve never had a family member with Alzheimer’s, you don’t know what it’s like.

My mother had Alzheimer’s.

I get what he goes through.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose

Love

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What makes a good neighbor?

Think about it.

We’re all connected.

If one gives love, one will receive love.

What is love?

Respect.

Honest to a fault.

Compassionate.

Empathetic.

Love doesn’t feel sorry for anyone. Love understands why they are where they are.

Love, I love more people than I can say. I’m in love with the same people.

I simply don’t have sex with anyone.

How could I pick one above another.

Why not love my neighbor as myself?

Nothing

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What have you been putting off doing? Why?

I do as I do.

There is no putting off your doing.

If you try and fail your still doing.

Don’t think about what lies beyond reach, let yourself go and just do.

One should be intuitive and allow the intuitive mind to make ones decisions about ones doing.

Or do you like stress?

Do you like feeling there’s no time?

Allow the intuitive mind manage yourself and put the conscious mind to rest.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose

Building a complex for vetrans

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What’s something you would attempt if you were guaranteed not to fail.

I work with disabled veterans, they need a home that is theirs.

Veterans only understand veterans.

Do you know what it’s like to put your life on the line every day?

I do.

Though I never saw combat, I understand what those who have, went through.

Everytime someone tells me a story, I see and feel what they felt.

I may not have seen combat, but I know what it feels like.

Patient 1 was in Vietnam.

He used to be 5’10”, now because of the back surgeries he’s 4’6“. He has diabetes, he has a bad heart, he’s had a stroke,and other stuff.

Patient 2 was in the Gulf war.

He uses a cane. He can’t walk normal. It takes him 1-3 minutes to get to the restroom.

I could list others, but I won’t.

I want to build a center for veterans to live.

Having other veterans is important to a veteran.

Since most of them will be disabled, we need to have staff that can handle it. We need chefs, we need janitors, and stuff.

If we house 100 veterans we need 100 staff members. I’d prefer to double that.

For every 100 we house, we need 200 staff.

Veterans fought for their country. Many have disabilities and need care more than 10 hours a week.

That’s what they get now. 10 hours a week.

It’s why I won’t quit, because I’m a veteran and at some point I’m going to need the care.

Getting better

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What was the hardest personal goal you’ve set for yourself?

I had a stroke several years ago, and I lost ability to communicate.

The fact that I’m writing this means on my way.

I used to have a mastery of the English language, that’s the goal, to return with more than I could ever imagine.

The things I’ve learned, I wouldn’t have learned had I not had my stroke.

I’m grateful that I had my stroke.

Several

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Who are your favorite artists?

Buckcherry, The Pretty Reckless, Terry Brooks, Laurel K. Hamilton, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Jimi Hendrix, Louis Armstrong, Stephen King, Ben Browder, Michael Shanks, Richard Dean Anderson, Claudia Black, Wayne Pygram, Christopher Judge, Amanda Tapping, Dorothy, Shinedown, Christopher Nolan, Richard Kelly, Wes Craven, Clive Barker, Burt Reynolds, Jane Seymour, Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Stephen Spielberg, George Lucas, Gene Roddenberry, Leonard Nimoy, William Shatner, Nichelle Nichols, James Doohan, Walter Koenig, Deforest Kelly, and others.

I don’t have a favorite thing, I have favorites. Why allow my self to be pigeon holed by my desires?

The movie whore

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What is your favorite hobby or pastime?

Watching movies, what else.

However I have gotten sick and tired of how many bat mans, Spiderman’s, other shit, the same action movie with different characters, same romance movie with different characters, same genre different characters.

I haven’t seen a new movie or film in a while.

It’s all remakes and reimagining and that bull shit.

I want an original film.

Religion

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What’s a topic or issue about which you’ve changed your mind?

I used to be a saved Christian, used to be.

Hebrew had no j until much later. There is no way a Jesus came to be as he was Jewish.

I’ve read the stories of  Yeshua.

Here’s the thing, revelation did some great forecasting as Israel is at war with more than one.

What else did they get right?

The thing is christians can’t even do what  Christ said to do.

Forgive.

Pray in your most private place.

Use the lord’s prayer when you pray.

And a multitude of other shit.

When you call them on it, they get real pissed off about it.

Most people who use the Christian faith, do so earnestly, it’s the pastor’s who are responsible.

Right now

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Tell us about a time when you felt out of place.

I’m an empathic amplifier, telepath, and medium.

I feel out of place everywhere and with everyone.

I get most people don’t believe it’s true, my abilities, yet I still exist as I am.

I designed a test to prove myself several years ago and no one took me up on it.

I channel your higherself for everyone I meet.

How do I feel in place?

It depends on the hard work I’m doing

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In what ways does hard work make you feel fulfilled?

Thinking is the hardest work I’ve ever done and I like it. When I figured out gyres were what made up everything and the shit that followed, I wasn’t fulfilled.

When I work for my disabled veterans, I do hard work mopping and shit like that, but that doesn’t leave me fulfilled.

When I’m working as a Táltos dealing with the worst of the worst making them better.

Still no fulfillment.

When I’m dead I don’t want to feel fulfilled.

I want to be doing something, learning something, I don’t ever want to feel fulfilled.

That would mean the job, my life, is done.

My life never needs fulfillment.

I equivalate that with thinking I can relax and do all the shit I put off to someday.

I’m always working on something, and I will be til the day I die.

Zeus and His Daughters Commercial break part 15

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I’m watching the news more and more. I used to not watch, however shits getting dire out there.

What right do I have to spread my opinion as if it mattered?

Rhetorical.

The freedom of speech means everyone has the right to speak anything, lies, truth, anything.

Why do people lie?

To get shit that would never come there way otherwise.

I know why people lie.

I truly have zero respect for any liars.

In fact on Facebook and LinkedIn I call them out on occasion.

Very few respond. However I get responses from others and most of them want to argue.

How do you argue against the truth?

They find one of their friends that they think is smart, and then their friend goes down like a sweet muffin.

I get I’m in the minority.

Popular is stupid.

Think about it.

If it plays to the stupid people…

It’s why in the USA tv programs are set at a 7th grade level of English, it could be lower, I’m not sure. However several years ago I was watching some news broadcast that was brining it up.

Most people are functionally dumb.

I wish they weren’t.

I’d love to have conversations about the universe, aliens, ghosts, and other shit that is very real and a part of this world and universe.

But we have too many beliefs and we allow people to have beliefs because if we didn’t we would have to lock half the world, more than.

I have no idea where I’m going with this, I just needed to say it, and I hope someone reading this understands.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Quit

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What’s the trait you value most about yourself?

I never quit.

Why quit?

The betterment of humanity is my passion.

Why quit?

When I say the betterment of humanity, I mean being better than I am today.

I work to find those who want to be better than they are today.

Most who say it, it’s something to say that makes them look good.

First off, you don’t care what others think about you. They’re opinions mean absolutely nothing.

After that I teach reiki, I’m a grandmaster.

Then they are required to do meditation.

I let go of everything.

Say it until you do it.

What comes back is what you must deal with in order to progress your evolution.

That means changing yourself.

Zeus and His Daughters Euterpe Part 5

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I really want to die old, but not too old.

Like I will be that hot as fuck Granny that all the boys want to fuck. Probably not, buy it was an idea.

Thinking about how I will die. I picked my death with Death. It was really interesting talking with Death about my own death.

What was it I picked, oh yes, I will die in my sleep after performing a gangbang. I want to be filled to the brim. Then I will go to sleep and my energy will return to the cosmos to make something else.

It’s not like I have a soul.

If I did, I would have choices. I could do another round here, or I could go to the bliss field, or I could go to another world.

Once a race has reached immortality by earning it the hard way, they stop having children. They stop having sex because they’re evolved.

But for me, I was immortal. I have been everywhere and seen everything. I know the mysteries of the universe and 42 doesn’t mean shit.

However it was a great hook, and it caught a lot of fish.

I don’t care

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What aspects of your cultural heritage are you most proud of or interested in?

I’m concerned with the now.

I’ve already looked at my DNA as I have African, Cherokee, Hungarian, which is Asian, Persian, Eastern European, Dutch, French and the isles, English, Scottish, Irish.

Here’s what I learned, we care too much about the past and it’s fucking up the future currently.

What in the blue holy fuck?

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What brands do you associate with?

I don’t care about brands.

And i can’t stop seeing people who think their life is a brand make me sick.

They think they can control anything?

Control is an illusion.

Try holding it when you gotta go pee or poo to find out how much control you don’t have.

If one has no control over ones body, what makes any think they have control over anything?

Narcissism.

That’s what is fucking this world up.