Some say it’s impossible, I say in theory it can be done.

All we need is to be lighter than a photon.

If we are faster than light, no light would ever be seen because no light could reach us. We would be in perpetual dark.

If that’s true then time can go fuck itself in the ear.

What brought this on was, I was smoking dabs, and for me when I smoke dabs everything becomes crystal clear.

Throughout the day I was viewing ÆIOU, you can see my comment.

Then I was talking to someone about remote viewing. I was talking about how each of us is a soul, and we have a body, the thought occurred to me, does the soul have the same, more or less weight as a photon.

Is a soul affected by gravity?

What if a soul is affected by gravity, however it weighs less than a photon meaning a soul could move faster than light.

This is theory, meaning my opinion, meaning I’m right and wrong simultaneously.

Author, writer, screen writer, song writer, all of these mean storyteller.

Anyone is a storyteller. You tell stories. I tell stories, and it’s how we communicate deep meaning with one another.

Look at this way, when you tell a story, often there is meaning, hidden meaning in that story.

The word parable comes to mind.

I figure most people are celebrating a holiday. I’m not, I’m doing this. Why not talk about something the dude was famous for.

If I have to say his name, he is here with us. Even as you thought it.

I’ve studied religion, most of them, even Wicca.

That’s how I got the idea to write The Book of Khaos Majick. I was studying Wicca and wanted to write my own Grimoire, and I studied several. Nothing that one has published, deep personal Grimiores is what I studied.

The shit you can buy anywhere, that’s child’s play.

I once had a Black magic practioner tell me I should practice Black magic if I choose to practice magic.

I took the advice, however, in not a practioner of any magic. However I’m well versed in Majick.

Every word we ever say is a never-ending spell that creates our life.

I’m seeing what it’s like after living my life.

I live in a place where I’ve always wanted to live. I don’t have to do any yard work, and I clean my dishes and do my laundry, but one of my roommates is a clean freak.

I work 30 hours a week.

I live comfortably.

I’ve got gal pals to hang out with.

I’m a gentleman that is only seeking one. However, I love women and spending time with them.

All I had to do was become this gentleman, so that my life would reflect what I project.

That’s all I’m saying.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

As you may have noticed I started putting my theory on my site. I started this on LinkedIn.

Once I’ve got everything, I’ll pull it from LinkedIn.

That’s where I’m at.

I look at my life honestly. Why wouldn’t I love my life.

I’ve got someone to cook for, my patient lives in his home. Two days a week I get to practice cooking for another. I’m a good cook, however, I’ve been cooking for myself for a long time, I’ll get it.

Looking at my friends, most of them, had no idea where I was for at least 10 years. I did that to protect them from what my life was.

I’m a Táltos, and I did some shit that I won’t talk about. Now how do they accept me, I’ve changed quite a bit.

Either they do or they don’t, nothing I can do, but be me.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

The Unified Field

Think of an algorithm, an evolving algorithm.

This is why math doesn’t get it done in explaining the universe. It evolves, and as soon as we think we figured something out, some bit of chaos happens to screw up the math.

Something chaotic happens, then it becomes a habit, and the universe evolves.

Read the last two sentences again and again and again and understand this is the truth of existence.

That is The Unified Field.

Matthew Sweet wrote a song called Girlfriend.

I’ve been celibate for close to ten years and this is why. I’m a sex addict.

Looking at my life where sex is concerned, I’ve done what I need to do to heal my soul.

How do I tell everyone I’m a sex addict.

Writing this works.

Sex is something that can be amazing between two people. I didn’t say that love each other, here’s why.

I’ve had sex without love and it was amazing.

The sex I did have where one loved the other, it was amazing.

The sex I had when we loved each other truly, I don’t know, I’m still waiting for that.

I didn’t know myself so how could anyone love me. I didn’t love myself. What I thought was love, was lust.

I understand the difference, have for many years, but why am I gunshy about the idea of having sex.

Because I trained myself to be a Tantra Master. I did it with my wife. I didn’t do it for everyone else.

I can give sexual advice. I remember telling a lesbian how to please her lover, and it worked like a charm.

Yet for me, I’ll probably live alone, I don’t want to say for the rest of my life. I don’t like the finality of that.

Think about it, how long am I going to live?

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Actually I do.

What’s wrong with me?

Nothing, I love my life, however it wasn’t always this way.

I look at where I’ve been and what experiences I’ve had. This is where I learn.

Once you understand you have zero control, even in your own body, one can manage.

Once you can accept that your management is your choice. You take the responsibility for your choice.

This is how one can have responses instead of reactions.

If one responds one has power.

What does one do with power?

If you think of it this way, your speech has a lot to do with it.

Why be self-deprecating?

Self talk is the talk that builds you. As we go to bed, we die metaphorically, and wake up reborn. What we put into ourselves is what our new life will be.

Think about this.

The reason I don’t want to talk about my life through anything, is because I live my life. What’s the use of living a life worth reading that isn’t historical. That means that anybody that writes their own story or borderline narcissists.

I’m not a narcissist, however I get the times were in, and someone, they and I’m a part of they, someone has to speak well and teach people how to speak well, so we can live better lives, all of us.

So apparently nothing is wrong with me, and I’m doing everything right.

The song playing “I was wrong” by Social Distortion.

I laugh my ass off.

Because for me, this is me doing right and I was wrong, so very fucking wrong before this came about.The last couple months has shown me much that I could never explain.

Stand by me started playing, and the universe, God, I call it The Big U, is always standing by each and everyone of us.

We are never alone.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

One is one her way out, and coming right behind to take her place, a natural born Witch. I’m a natural born wicth.

There are things I can do that most think of as magic. It’s not magic, it’s natural.

The thing is most are born with something, however the world kills it, because who are you to be special?

Maya Angelo’s comes to mind. Something she wrote about who are you to play small?

I use the state of peace, zero emotion, to transmute what I take on as an Empath, to turn it into pure love healing energy. It knows who needs and it goes where it needs.

I don’t know or care where it goes.

This is meek.

I can focus it with my hands. There are other things I do with my hands that takes a thought to get ready.

I drain ghosts and demons, and any other entity. I’m a Soul Eater, no I don’t eat souls, I do devour remnants, ghosts.

I remember a few years ago I was in Concow. I was in a residential area called Camelot. I could tell something nasty had gone down in this area.

I was told that Native Americans had been slaughtered by the military. That was what I felt.

I walked into the field where nothing grew except one tree. I walked up to the tree and did my thing. I cleared the place.

I talked to people who live in Concow, and the entire place has changed. No longer can anyone feel the slaughter.

I think about visiting Gettysburg.

If anyone needs anything, find my porch. Talk to the people who work at Ital Imports, and if they tell you to walk, walk, otherwise, I’ll know and you’ll never find me.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

It’s literally been years since I wrote under this blog.

For the record I’m James Clayton Carter Jr.

I understand there have been rumors about me. I don’t give a fuck.

Those who listen to rumors, instead of getting the truth are fools that are not worth my time.

For those that don’t know, I’m a Táltos. It’s Hungarian.

I’m also an Empath, Telepath, and Medium. Before anyone thinks they’re funny, I’m a large. Jokes done.

As it happens I specialize in what I channel, your spirit, everyone’s spirit. Everyone’s higher self, soul, whatever you want to call it, I channel it to make sure you get the guidance you need, not want, need.

I do this for free, because how could I charge people to be me and talk to them. That sounds retarded, as in one would have to have to have a severe mental deficiency to do some crazy bullshit like that.

I’m sane, well for the most part. I’ll let you be the judge, and I want to to judge harshly.

Think about it, we all do, judge people, and we don’t even think about it.

I don’t like insert name, because they do this.

Whether you’re aware of it or not you have judged that person. Be aware why?

Think of it this way, if I was to say that I believe that Willian Shatner is actually James T. Kirk and he traveled back in time to make sure that Star trek got made so that I would see it…

That’s delusional thinking at it’s best.

If you are not judging now, what will it take?

Offense has to be taken, not given.

Understand the difference in order to quit being offended.

So, I talk crazy shit, and I say something wise, oh well.

I’m writing my life as I live it. Not the before shit, as I live it. I’ll journal here as much as I can and you get to judge me as I live my life.

I thought about the whole video thing, but I need time to live, and you time to live.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

Here’s how this came about.

I said to my son “Have a blessed one.”

And he said “Be excellent.”

After that it became have a blessed one and be excellent, whish his reply was “Be bodacious.”

And I would answer back “Fuck Yeah!”

So, then this went on for years, and then when I moved back home I got in touch with Sammy. She told me to do something on purpose and that’s where I got that from.

Have a blessed one and be excellent on purpose.

What’s important?

It depends on who you ask. That means it’s an opinion.

Far too often we are told what is important in life. How often do you think about what is important to your life?

You probably don’t even know how important the garbage persons who pick up the garbage is to your life. Do you even know their names?

How about the person who does dishes for a living?

How about the tire person who makes sure your family is safe?

How about a bunch of people we never think about?

When we talk about what we want, we have to think about where it comes from. It’s important.

If we don’t think about it, things will unravel in the worst ways.

The Pretty Reckless is anything but reckless when it comes to the song Turning Gold. This band is one of my favorite bands, and the album this comes from is why.

I’m a writer, I understand artists better than they understand themselves. Take into account, I’m a Shaman as well, I can see everything that needs to be seen, even if most miss it.

Love is a vengeance
Put upon this breed
It takes the highest mountain
And brings it to its knees
Down below it hits me
And keeps me wearing this mask
But if I ever meet him
I’ll be sure to ask for the light
For the light
For the light
For the light

Love may feel as though it is a vengeance, I though it was for years. One heart ache after another, just like all my sisters and brothers. After every heartache, I fell to my knees looking for something or someone to make it go away. There was nothing that could make it stop and that is where the mask comes from. It’s that mask of pain we all wear at some point or another.

If I ever meet the son of a bitch responsible for this shit….oh wait, that’s me. It’s how I found the light to begin with. It was just below where I had hit with my heartache, thinking there was nowhere to go.

Each and everyone of us has a light that can be blinding, and we need to let it show more often. When we dim our light for anyone else, we are doing them a disservice.

Let me say that again, when we dim our light for anyone else, we are doing them a great disservice.

In the seventh hour
Waiting in the cold
I can feel the power
I’m turning gold
I’m turning gold
I’m turning gold

I don’t care what hour it is, or if it’s warm or cold outside, I can feel the power, and it feels awesome. It’s that power that springs up from within. That power is doing the right thing for the right reason.

That’s when you know your turning gold.

Life is an ending
Starting in the womb
You build a home of brick and mortar
Then it is your tomb
And I don’t know real, I don’t know right
I don’t know if I should lay down or fight
But I know that somehow
It’ll be alright

Simple truth, life is an ending. The day we are born we begin to die.

It’s what you decide to do with your life, that can make it feel as though it’s heavenly, or a hellish tormented existence. The choice is always ours, and you can’t wish that away.

That means we are responsible for our life, not parents, not friends, not brothers and sisters, we are totally responsible for our life.

That might make you upset, it made me pissed as all hell for a good couple years, however it’s true. It’s why it pissed me off so much. I couldn’t escape it. Everywhere I looked, it all came back to one thing, I made a choice.

Now I make better choices, that makes me feel as though everything will be alright.

Time is relentless
A mathematical curse
Put upon by god above
To make your body hurt
Through the burning, the bleeding
The itch of the healing
The screams carry on through the night
But I know that somehow
It’ll be alright

Life’s a bitch and a half.

Yet, somehow I find a way to grateful every damn day. I wake up and the first words out of my mouth, normally, “I woke up today, the rest is gravy.”

How much gravy does anyone need?

I take my gravy as it comes and never do I go in search of gravy.

The way I look at it, patience is rewarded. Every time I think I found a way to get the gravy, the gravy is in my lap. Now I need to clean myself off and I missed the gravy.

When I wait for the gravy meant for me, well that’s the graviest gravy there ever could be.

The Killers have this song, that I listen to damn near everyday.

Now that doesn’t matter to you, however for me, it’s a reminder of all the things I have yet to do.

When there’s nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son
One more son
If you can hold on
If you can hold on, hold on
I want to stand up, I want to let go
You know, you know – no you don’t, you don’t
I want to shine on in the hearts of men
I want a meaning from the back of my broken hand

Another head aches, another heart breaks
I am so much older than I can take
And my affection, well it comes and goes
I need direction to perfection, no no no no

If you can, hold on.

What if you can’t hold on?

Let go, and see where life takes you. That flow of life that we think we know better than.

How can one shine on in the hearts of any?

One has to be pure. One has to purify oneself. Only one who is pure of heart can shine on in any. Anything less will taint the hearts of any.

In experience, I’m well over 100, even though physically I’m 47. My affection does indeed come and go. However I’m in no need of perfection, that’s only an idea.

Help me out
Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don’t you put me on the backburner
You know you got to help me out

Everyone thinks they need help from others, now think for yourself and help yourself out. No one can help anyone that is not gong to help themselves. All one can do is provide assistance or be an enabler.

Enabling lets that one who needs, to sit in their needs and never do anything about it.

Assistance allows one to be of aid to one who is helping themselves.

I don’t need to help anyone out and I don’t need anyone’s help.

I do need the assistance of those who offer it. I do need to assist those who are helping themselves.

Think of that as a daily mantra.

And when there’s nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son
These changes ain’t changing me
The cold-hearted boy I used to be

Everything and everyone changes. Their ideas may not change, however they do change and eventually they will die.

I like to think in terms of evolution. We are in the midst of an evolution of the species that is homo sapiens. Some of us have evolved, some have not.

I feel real sorrow for those who will not evolve. However I can’t remain in sorrow. What I can do, is be at peace with the fact that not everyone is meant evolve.

It’s not easy, however it’s worth it.

Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don’t you put me on the backburner
You know you got to help me out
You’re gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, you’re gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, you’re gonna bring yourself down

As one does not help themselves they wish everyone to go through what they are going through.

I got soul, but I’m not a soldier
I got soul, but I’m not a soldier
I got soul, but I’m not a soldier
I got soul, but I’m not a soldier
I got soul, but I’m not a soldier
I got soul, but I’m not a soldier
I got soul, but I’m not a soldier
I got soul, but I’m not a soldier
I got soul, but I’m not a soldier
I got soul, but I’m not a soldier

I used to have a short lived blog called “Souldiers for Peace.”

I was an Airman, I severed in the United States Air Force. I let go of the idea that I sever any country, instead I like to think I serve the Earth.

Over and again, last call for sin
While everyone’s lost, the battle is won
With all these things that I’ve done
All these things that I’ve done
(Time, truth, hearts)
If you can hold on
If you can hold on

I’m not sure if any battle was ever fought, or if anyone won, or if we would know the difference.

What I do know is that each and every day we have a choice to be a dick, pussy, or asshole. I often choose dick, because dicks fuck assholes and some assholes need to get fucked. I keep it simple, because anytime you complicate shit you end up being a pussy that needs to be fucked.

I don’t care what you think about it, it works for me. That’s who it needs to work for. This is not personal truth, it is opinion.

That’s the truth.

Imagine there’s no heaven
It’s easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us, only sky

What if heaven was all around us, hell too?

What if heaven and hell were the choices that you make?

What makes us feel as though we are in heaven?

What makes us feel as though we are in hell?

Imagine all the people
Livin’ for today
Ah

Imagine there’s no countries
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion, too

Imagine all the people
Livin’ life in peace

What has history taught us if we are still making the same mistakes?

We need to evolve in our thinking and we will evolve as a species.

What does that evolution look like?

Those words above, is exactly what that looks like.

We are one human race.

This is a fact.

That means it doesn’t matter what you think about it, it doesn’t change the fact that is is a fact.

Opinion means nothing next to truth. Get over it.

No one is obligated to respect your opinion if it is untrue. In fact there was a time when truth reigned supreme in the minds of the people. That was a long ass fuckin’ time ago.

Fuck religion.

I’ll take spirituality. There is no sacred text to point to for spirituality. We are spirits in the flesh. This means that everything we do is spiritual experience.

That means you do not have to take any drugs to have a spiritual experience.

Your brain makes DMT. A popular hallucinogenic, that if you were to mediate and experience life, you would not need to do DMT.

If you meditate and experience life, your brain will produce the DMT needed for you to see some shit that you are ready to understand.

Take the basics of shamanism. Respect that which gives life.

Respect all life.

Respect the cycle of life.

Respect you’re place in the cycle of life.

Respect all that which is unseen that makes this life even possible.

You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will be as one

I’m not the one by a massive fuckin’ long shot and a half. We number in the millions and our numbers are growing.

Our numbers are growing.

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man

Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

Can you imagine no possessions?

Most people can’t. Most people have way too much stuff that think is important. That stuff is material and ideas.

The idea that one needs more than another is a bad idea. What one needs is exactly what everyone needs.

Food

Water

Shelter

After that we get into want. What we want says a lot about us.

What I want more than life itself, is to have this world of peace this song is about.

You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will live as one

Millions and the numbers are growing.

Taken from the lyrics of Long Live the Renegade by The Answer.

It’s what I was listening to as I decided to write.

What happens when you give everything?

What happens when the stuff you have doesn’t mean that much to you?

I can pretty much put my lif in a backpack, and I like it that way.

What happens when we all get along and share things?

Call me a dreamer and I’m not the only one.

Imagine, I do.

One love, once race, and it’s all sacred space.

One love.

One love makes one race.

One androgynous love makes one race.

How can we be one race?

It’s simple, not easy.

Take an androgynous view of self and others. Place sex off the table unless the occasion calls for it.

I don’t care how you pair it, it’s still the same.

How can you seriously take an androgynous view of self and others?

Realize your soul has no gender.

Then work at unification of the feminine and the masculine that every soul has.

Your soul is not different.

Realize before you do this, any relationship is a hit or miss based on how you perceive you and others.

How you perceive you and others is the only thing you have a choice about.

How others perceive you is their choice.

Perception is false reality. Make sure to check the space in between to get a full view.

I love you all as androgynous souls.

One love, one race and it’s all sacred space.

Seeking one Apprentice. Hit me up.

What if everyone took care of everyone, who would be left out?

Yeah, that sounds good, but we all know we have to take care of ourselves first.

Bullshit.

Has everyone ever tried it?

Not by a long shot.

There has never been a cohesive unit that calls itself the human race.  There has been “everyone look out for themselves” for a good long time called existence.

I have the power to take that from you and you have nothing you can do about it.

How many stories does this conjure up in your head. Too many.

The story of humanity is filled with them. People losing everything they had and someone moving in. People being shoved out of where they live and forced to live elsewhere. There is no one single injustice done on this one. There are far too many.

When is enough enough and we all do something new.

When do we drop all of our reasons why not and do it anyway?

One love, one race, and it’s all sacred space.

Androgynous speech is becoming more and more common.

One love, one race, and it’s all sacred space.

One race.

Think about it for a minute.

That’s one race without gender standing between us.

It’s possible and many live in an androgynous view of self and others. I have met a few. I am one. It takes making the we more important than the me. Until one can do that, it’s a pipe dream.

Words shape our view.

How we view anything is purely how we speak about it.

How purely do we speak of others when we limit then to a gender?

Yes, I know it’s hard. However it is rewarding for more than one. It’s a gift you give of your being. Giving that gift for everyone to be treated equally.

Think about that word for moment, equally.

e·qual·ly

/ˈēkwəlē/

Learn to pronounce

Speak equally to create true equality.

If I fail, other people suffer.

What if we all took what we said this seriously?

Would we still have fun?

Sure we would, we would have a different kind of fun.

Dream with me if you wll.

Gone is TV and Film.

People see performance artists everywhere.

It’s nice, but do you live in this world?

One of the greatest lies we swallow is that money equals success. That money and what money buys you will make you feel successful. This is sadly the way too many people view the world. I myself have trouble not getting caught up in it.

Take a few hours away from online and everyone else and spend it with people who are face to face. I do, and it’s the best time I spend. It’s my me time. I like to ignore my phone as well.

Taking this time for you is exactly what more people need to do. Even if you just sit around all by yourself, it’s time everyone needs. At times what we need to do is to sit down and relax. Take some time to engage in Self Reiki and Meditation.

Image if we all did this.

Those who follow me are familiar with the pics. I post them at least once a week. For those not familiar with it.

To breathe without breathing is to breathe so slowly you do not feel the wind of each breath. This breathing technique can and will aid one in times of stress or anxiety.

I often find it a good reminder to myself that the word fan is short for fanatic.

We soften the blow of how unhealthy the behavior is by shortening the word and then it’s only one letter away from fun.

I understand fanaticism as I was once a fan of the NFL team the Raiders. A fan base with a legacy of its own or should I say there is no mystique behind the fact that Raider fans are fanatical about the fact they are Raider fans.

I gave up professional sports years ago. It doesn’t make sense to me to pay grown men millions of dollars to play children’s games or beat the shit out of each other to include boxing and mixed martial arts.

I like a good chunk of music from a lot of various artists however I am not a fan of any band or artist. I have better things to do with my life than follow a band all over social media like an obsessed stalker needing to know their every move and what they had for lunch and stuff like that.

The one time I did meet a legitimate rock star, I insulted him. I find the idea of being a fan one that limits the idea of who I am and can be. To be a fanatic is synonymous with being a zealot, extremist, militant (my personal favorite) and devotee.

Does anyone have pleasant images that these words conjure in their head?

Me either.

Yet due to shortening the word fanatic to fan we have taken the images and the sting out of just how psychotic the behavior can look.

We encourage fandom.

We reward fandom.

We have events centered around fandom or in technical terms, fanaticism.

People who attend conventions for this that or the other have been known to lose touch with reality in their obsession over a comic book or a film or a TV show or a character in a comic book or a film or a TV show.

Ask Joss Whedon if Firefly fans are indeed fanatical about being Firefly fans. For that matter ask any of the cast from the show about the shows fans and their total unrelenting crusade to somehow one day bring the show back on the air after it got only one season and a movie.

No one should ever allow a work of fiction to take up this much of their life and their identity.

Ask successful musicians and those in film and TV what it is like to have a superfan.

Part of the problem for the ones who are adored by the fans is when someday the numbers dwindle and all that energetic adoration they rode comes to an end and withdrawals kick in with no way to get that fix. It’s why so many in the entertainment industry deal with depression at the end of their careers as they become less adored and the fans have moved on to someone else.

Fanaticism under the name fandom does more damage than people think about because hey guess what, there is a shit ton of money to made off fandom. Conventions, clothing lines, dolls, coffee mugs and the list never ends.

The only piece of clothing from a band I have ever owned was an Iron Maiden shirt I got at a concert and an Iron Maiden beanie that had the coolest skull and crossbones design on it I had ever seen. Iron Maiden is electric classical music with it’s complexity of musical arrangement. They are a thinking human’s band.

I dig their shit however I have no idea what the fuck the band is doing right now nor do I care.

Why live vicariously through a band or an actor/actress or whatever when you can be living your own life?

In the song Don’t Damn Me by Guns N Roses the line that fits here is:

Your only validation is living your own life

Vicarious existence is a fucking waste of time

Words so wise I break my own don’t quote other people rule.

The only thing in life I am a fanatic or a zealot or militant about is being me and retaining my ability to be an individual who sees the value of working at synergy. The only thing in life I am ever really a devotee of is the woman I happen to be involved with when I have one I am involved with.

I have often said that being in love and being a stalker is a fine line and that line is where they sign the restraining order against you.

I guess on some level society decided as long as money could be made, it’s fandom and if there isn’t any money to made its fanaticism. Same behavior only using one term allows anyone to act like a stalker and you can be part of the crowd of stalkers who join you in your fandom.

I’m not a fan.

I am definitely not a superfan.

If it’s about you then yes it is your business to know however you have a choice as to whether or not you let it bother you.

We have a responsibility to ourselves and to others with how we choose to use our words and when we talk about other people we are taking on the responsibility of telling their story and allowing what we have to say influence how other people think and feel about them.

No one has the right to lie about another and inflict harm on their life by doing so. Whether you care or not, what other people think and say about you will impact your life.

How many people have you not met because of what other people have said about you?

How many opportunities have you missed because of what people have said about you?

The story of you is shaped more by other people than it is by you.

While the sound fades out, the signal that is your voice never stops and the emotion of the words and the concepts tied to them travel and are felt by all worldwide. This is the basis of intuition.

This is how the 100th Monkey effect works. Emotional concepts that are picked up by the subconscious and stored until it becomes relevant information at the conscious level.

This sometimes can feel as though you had an idea pop up out of nowhere that leads to what is a new realization for us, however is something we have been getting hit with at the subconscious level for an untold amount of time.

It can look like a behavioral change that is subtle and goes unnoticed at first. This is how we do things behind our back in front of our faces and it is influenced by all we take in. We take it all in however are rarely if ever consciously aware of it.

This means we have felt the shit people have been talking behind our backs. This means we have felt the emotions they have aimed at us. These things can and do have an impact on us. For an Empath it is nearly impossible for us to not be aware of how anyone feels about us. We feel it with you.

If you are trying to repress or suppress it, we feel it for you. There is no hiding how you feel from an Empath.

I don’t care how scary that is for anyone, it is true and you all need to grow the fuck up and accept this truth. I say need because until it happens and people like my self are accepted for who we are the world inflicts much suffering upon us. Think of it as being bullied about being gay and told it’s a mental illness or that it can be fixed or reversed.

I once led a discussion in front of a group of over 500,000 on Linked in concerning people like me and even started designing the test to prove our existence offering myself up to be the guinea pig. I hate the idea of being a guinea pig, however if it puts an end to the suffering being inflicted on many I would do it without thinking twice.

There are millions of people around the world who know exactly how you feel about them even if they are never around when you talk about them. There are people like myself who always know what you think of them.

The power of disbelief gives you the ability to think you are not creating suffering by the way you talk about others behind their back. It gives a delusion built on self imposed ignorance to not feel guilty about impacting the lives of the people you talk about.

It’s why I say if you can’t say something nice, make damn sure it’s true.

If you can’t say it to their face why are you saying anything to begin with?

….when you are afraid of pissing off someone. That person is someone you have given control over you to.

The first amendment guarantees the freedom of speech as does the human bill of rights that the UN drew up.

With free speech comes a few things.

1. Responsibility: Holding oneself accountable for what one says and how one says it.
2. Toleration: Unpopular speech is still protected under free speech.
3. Patience and empathy: It takes one to engage the other.

I once swore an oath to uphold the freedom of speech with my life should the need arise. I swore to uphold that oath against all enemies both foreign and domestic. An attack on free speech is an attack on the foundation of the constitution and the foundation of any civilized society.

I am a pacifist and do not ave any interest in any violent action, in fact the opposite I often say to forget the hate and heal the pain that caused it so we can all get along.

I often say remember we’re all blessed and oh what a day it would be if we all acted like it.

I get pissed the fuck off some days at the sate of the world and understanding exactly why it looks the way it does. I do not always deal with that well. I am human. One thing I never tolerate is name calling and bullies. Trump is a bully who I saw on the news is in a name calling war with someone. This is the president of the United States and he is involved in high school antics. What in the  blue holy fuck is going on?

As a veteran who swore to uphold the constitution I have to hear about Trump wanting to take away the freedom of expression from NFL players who decide to kneel at football games. How am I not supposed to see the president as an enemy of the constitution he swore to uphold and I swore to defend.

A couple decades ago Chevy Chase and Richard Pryor did a sketch where they used racial slurs towards each other in an escalating fashion. They did this sketch on Saturday Night Live. I saw on Linkedin that some dude on SNL called Trump a cheap cracker and they were really pissed off about it.

SNL has made fun of people for decades and it’s kind of their job. Is it racist, hell yes. Do I give a fuck, hell no. Here’s why.

Someone had to tell me they guy was black. Race only matters if you let it and making your race matter over and beyond the fact of being human is an act of racism in and of itself. It negates true human equality in favor of making one special due to skin pigment. I have DNA from Africa, Asia, The Middle East and all over Europe and Cherokee Indian. What the fuck do I care about race.

I don’t get why the rest of you make such a big deal about it. Having no cultural history to use as a way to identify myself allows me a great freedom and allows me to see the prison that cultural history is for so many and for our race that keeps us from embracing a pro human first view.

I have been really stressed lately and have been taking some time off and got really bored today and decided fuck it I am going to scroll social media for the day. I think a few people are praying I never get really bored again.

If you know my history with beBee.com and that I was once a brand Ambassador for the social network, you also know it was the CEO Javier told me he was OK with other brand ambassadors slandering me. The screenshot showed up in several places on Linkedin today and each time it was relevant. In particular when it was on an article that showed up in my feed by Jim Murray, the one who had been slandering me that Javier defended.

Thanks to John Vaughn and Robert Bacal my fellow banned Bees for their continued support.

They were banned for using their freedom of speech to ask the CEO about discrepancies in their stats and how they are reported. It turns out that the numbers for views and stuff you see on beBee are greatly padded. I banned myself from beBee when in my final email to Javier I said “With all the respect your community has shown me, go fuck yourself.”

I have my moments I own however I am not proud of. I am human.

We all have those moments.

It’s a good thing to work at limiting how many of them we have. I often say that on occasion losing one’s patience is a good thing however never make a habit of it.  I often say patience exercised is patience cultivated.

“Patience leads to understanding but first one must find the view from in between where one is detached from all and sees oneself as other sees one. 

Only in engaging in empathy can one be truly mindful and aware of how one might be perceived based on one’s projection of self in the moment. It takes experience to build that understanding that is the basis of all wisdom. “

For those wanting to keep track, that last bit there was channeled and as much a reminder for me as a lesson for any who might see it for the first time. Or a reminder to those who may understand it in different words and different metaphors.

I think I have talked about it enough that maybe you all are ready for me to point out what is channeled as it is channeled. If not, too bad, grow up and deal with it.

This is why I often say I learn by teaching because as I have channeled over the years I have also paid attention to what has passed through me and learned along with my students and others.

It’s why I love spending one on one time with people and taking a view of existence through their eyes for a while. The ones I enjoy the most are the ones who are ready for the veil to drop and then I can relax even more. It’s a traumatic awakening for most when they hit it. It’s nice for them to have me around and I know because I didn’t have a me and I went through some unneeded hell because of that.

Part of the Shamanic path is to guide oneself out so one can be a guide to others on their journey no matter where they are on it. A Shaman is one who wanders the dark to help the lost find their way. A Shaman is one who shows up and demons start backing up. Even the best Shaman can only do so much to interfere if one refuses to change the behavior that brings the demons to begin with.

This is spiritual metaphor for any harmful behavior in a lot of ways. Our own lust for life can feel like a demon of its own, however it is simply part of being human. I might serve God however I stand on the side of humanity and question God daily. I have dealt with the Devil and beat him at his own game and still he is damn good at what he does. When you dance with the Devil and it doesn’t change you, that’s when you don’t mind cutting in to save someones ass if you can. This again is all metaphor for the lusts that life brings to us in the form of temptation that leads to harming the soul and a Shaman is a soul healer.

It also means on occasion you disappear for a few months here and there. Few will understand and those who do have followed me for a long time.

I am not writing as much as I have been known to over the last few years. For about 3 years in 3 different blogs and then on bBee I was averaging 3 pieces a day 6 days a week.

I’m tired.

Words have no meaning if they are not backed up by action.

It takes more than words to create change. If one seeks to make change one seeks to change oneself and become an example of what that change looks like.

I had a conversation today with my sons maternal grandfather. The two of us really do not like each other that much however I can not invalidate the wisdom of his words due to personal feelings based on history or I am a fucking hypocrite.

The history of what led to us not being big fans of each other is not important in the now where it is about my son, his grandson and making sure he knows he is loved and that we have his best interest at heart and in mind and in action.

We were discussing the state of the world and what is wrong with it and why and how we got here and if it can be fixed for my sons generation so their children have it better than my son does.

I have long since forgiven my 2nd wife and her parents for the past and it seems they have been able to do the same as we had a pleasant visit and stories of the past were shared with laughter and my son got to witness grown ups setting aside differences and working at getting along.

We live in a world centered around adults and their desires with very little concern for how it effects the children. I have said before, it doesn’t matter if you have no kids, you are still an example and a role model to any child who sees you.

When I was talking to my son today I told him he has been what brings out the best in me to make sure I give him a good example and role model. We also talked about how important it is to me that he understands that I have no desire for him to ever be a clone of me and that it is OK for him to have different preferences than me.

I want him to grow figure out who he is and desires to be and that I will always be there for guidance when he needs or wants it. My son is quite intelligent and at age 12 was giving us his political views at one point and they were worth hearing. He showed he is able to form his own opinions with out simply repeating something he heard or read.

Living my last article and watching my son live up to something he has never read but has always seen in me and the way I engage with people.

One thing I cannot tolerate above all else is my own hypocrisy whether it is me or someone else that catches me in it. How can I be intolerable of the hypocrisy of others if I allow it within myself.

I hold myself accountable and responsible for my words and backing them up with action. If someone has to notice than I have failed to live to my potential. It does happen on occasion because I am as human as the next human.

I have studied enough of the worlds religions that I can feel real comfortable in saying that those who use their religion as an excuse for violence are hypocrites.

I have studied enough history to understand every empire falls and usually it is at a high cost in the lives lost and the suffering that led to that fall and ensues after.

I have studied enough history to understand that class systems eventually degrade and cause suffering within the system in order to maintain the system.

I have studied enough to understand that to elevate any, many others must be held down.

In order to have a class system you have to be able to determine who is worthy and who is not and create inequality through this set of standards for who measures up and who does not. In order for a class system to work entitlement is part of that. This group is entitled for this reason and that group is entitled to this or that for these reasons.

The concepts are this simple and complex mechanisms are put in place through behavioral programming so that it becomes the norm and people rarely if ever think to question it. Part of that behavioral programming must include systems of abuse in order to punish those who dare buck the system.

No one has a right to luxurious living and no one should be made to feel inferior for any reason.

A short while ago someone told me they felt inferior to me because of what I was able to explain and my response was to tell him I was jealous he could play guitar and write music. Something I have attempted many times without success in the endeavor. Neither of us is inferior or superior, we merely have different abilities in different areas.

In a lot of what I write I try to keep it to the concepts however if asked I can provide details on personal life experience to back up what led to my choice of expression.

The most disturbing part of today’s conversation was when I had to admit the man I was sitting across from had a valid point I did not like.

Those who rule through oppression and violence cannot be taken down from their places of self given power without being forced to do so in some violent fashion. I don’t like that that statement has an air of truth to it. I am a pacifist because I am well trained martial artist.

I avoid violence as a way of life and always have, however I have trained to defend my own life if needed. I have always felt that if I ever have to use violence to defend myself, I fucked up about six steps ago and need to evaluate how to avoid finding myself in that situation again. I have had to use the martial arts training in a physical way once and it was enough to remind me why I choose pacifism.

I often imagine a world where violence is not such a daily occurrence that it fills our news outlets worldwide. I often imagine a world without countries where we live as one united world. I often imagine a world of equality for all people.

I was proud of myself today when at one point in the discussion I was told I sounded like John Lennon. For the remainder of the day I had a set of lyrics running through the back of my mind.

All we are saying is give peace a chance.

While history shows that it has taken acts of violence to bring down those who oppress others, I find the truth is that it can be done peacefully and that we simply have not figured out how to do that yet.

It takes change and that change starts within and living it and being an example of it in action.

The future belongs to the dreamers and those who will become the change the world needs for the children to create better and for their children to create better and their children and so on.

The dreamers need help from the doers who need a path to explore in living to bring those dreams to reality.

It takes those who have different abilities to work in synergy to build for the future that creates a new world that is brave enough to let go of the past and embrace the unknown.

I imagine a lot as a writer of fiction who is working on several new books. A lot of writers have imagined that brave new world where we dare to be different than we have been and grow to surpass the confines of repeating history.

Now we need action more than ever if we are ever to turn our world around and let the evolution of thought bring about an evolution in society to unite our world.

This here is the only action I can take on my own. It might not be much but at least I know I am doing what I can.

Who will join the dreamers of today to build the better world of tomorrow in the present?

Who will let go of the past and venture off into the unknown with us to build it and make it known?

Who will join us in change?

Tradition has done much to retard growth for humanity.

Here’s why.

It keeps people locked into defining their identity based on traditions.

It creates cultural stagnation where no growth takes place.

Look at the evidence that is humanity.

People the world over cling on to traditions based in history and religion and act as if these things are worth killing and dying for.

I was one of them once upon a time. The I let go of it all.

What I found through experience was that things that I thought were sacred were actually trappings that limited my understanding of life the universe and most things.

What experience taught me was that to hold on to something because some people decided a long time ago it should be held sacred for all time is that all I did was keep segregation alive within me.

A wise one takes it all in and makes up their own mind and a fool follows a crowd, pick a crowd

It takes strength of will and a desire to truly grow to tell the crowd to fuck themselves. It takes a weak will to follow a crowd because one desires acceptance and is wiling to compromise to gain it.

This means that yes indeed I have zero respect and reverence for ancient teachings and ancient tradition of all kinds and find any who follows them because they think ancient shit in the only way to go is a great fool and is wandering blindly without ever thinking for themselves.

The only power anything has over us is the power we give it. The only meaning sacred teachings have is the meaning we give it. Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

Until you can put in your own words you don’t understand it. A lesson I learned from family as a child.

Can anyone show me how any ancient teaching has brought unity to this world?

No you can’t, because none of them have.

Most of them are based in duality which is a low vibrating state of being. It’s a way of life that keeps one blind to the fact that the only things that stops any of us from doing anything is ourselves. Our decisions form our identity.

Why tie your identity to something you were not around for?

Traditions are used for the purpose of control.

We have to do this for this reason because the of this thing that happened that none of us were alive for but we have to keep the spirit of it alive or we lose something of ourselves.

I couldn’t even type out the last sentence without feeling stupid and weak willed.

A new paradigm means letting go of the old one and that means letting go of all the old ancient stuff that has been used to manipulate us and keep us from uniting as one human race. History has already shown it keeps us separate and fighting over whose way is the one way and fuck off to anyone who says different.

It’s one of the reason I wrote the Book of Khaos Majick. To free myself from ancient stuff and give myself something that allows me to continue my evolution of thought. It allows me to make new discoveries and realizations without building a prison of limitations for myself. I wrote it at the same time I was writing Psychospirilosophy The Martial Art of Thought to give myself a spiritual guide to go along side the philosophical and psychological guide I was writing.

In both a lot of unnecessary knowledge was left out in favor of the wisdom that is understanding.

One of the things I often have to remind my students of is to stop over complicating things and to realize things truly are a lot simpler than we want them to be. It’s in making it complicated that makes us feel smart. Over the course of my life I can’t even begin to tell you the number of times I felt stupid when I realized how simple things truly are.

Simplicity is the key to wisdom. The more complicated you make things the further you remove yourself from understanding.

If knowledge is power than wisdom is understanding.

This why I say if you cant explain it to a child who has studied next to nothing, you don’t have one fucking clue what you are talking about.

A simple truth.

A fact of existence.

Hate it all you want however it does not stop it from being true.

What you are about to read is unpopular truth.

Karmic Law states that history will repeat itself until changed.

Has making cultural history significant done one good thing for the entirety of the human species?

I’m going to say it has done the exact opposite as I see segregation everywhere and using cultural history as the excuse. Unpopular and will piss a lot of people off however it happens to be a fact of history that has yet to change because we continue to set cultural history above human progress.

Has having segregated groups of humans done anything good our species?

From over here I see a history littered with wars because we keep ourselves segregated instead of uniting as one race. Again this a fact of history.

Unpopular yes, however it does not stop it from being absolutely true.

We have let history mean more than now.

Karmic Law says all that exists is now.

If all that exists is now why does the history matter and why do let it build prisons for ourselves that keep us segregated and from uniting as one race.

This means that until let go of who did what to whose ancestors and who is indigenous to where, we are damning ourselves to repeat the history we have already lived as a species. Last time I checked we are all from Earth.

Why do we need to have one set of humans have precedence over a piece a land over all other human beings?

I think it’s fucked up that my fellow Native Americans (I am part Cherokee) have forgotten to apply the lesson to the human race that the land does not belong to us, we are merely caretakers of this Earth, all of us.

Unpopular as all hell, however still true.

How is religion doing anything to unite us as a human race?

We have fought wars over religion. Extremists to this day still use religion as a reason to give into violence instead of negotiating peace. People all over the world use their religion of choice to label who is good and who is not. Fact of life in the now.

Even within religions there are factions and they can’t even unite their own religion.

Fact of life in the now.

Things get lost in translation due to context. Metaphorical meanings change. What was once seen as this is now seen as that.

This means we need to let go of ancient texts and seek to update based on the now or we create yet another prison that has done nothing but keep us from uniting as one race. Unpopular, however quite true.

Life is not a game.

In order to play a game there must be a winner and a loser. Those who treat life as a game will call inhuman behavior towards other humans good gamesmanship since they come out on top.

We are evolving as a species and that evolution takes an evolution of thought in order for there to be an evolution of genetics. Essence precedes existence. If we keep repeating the same things over and over again as we have throughout history we will never evolve as a species.

Unpopular, however true.

It’s not that I don’t get that saying these things will piss some people off, I do. I’m simply more interested in progress than repeating the same history over and and over again that has us in a world where violence on the news has become the norm. I can take the heat and quite frankly I don’t care who I piss off by speaking the truth.

If the truth pisses you off, that’s your problem and you need to ask yourself why it pisses you off.

Now let me go for the throat.

Each and every day we are building for the future generations.

That means building for the children.

That means even if you have no children you are still responsible for building for the children. A child doesn’t give two shits about history until they are taught to do so. That means we need to start teaching our children to let go of history and see each other as human and see us all as one human race or we are abusing them and making them conform to what history has already shown is not working.

I call it abuse because if they don’t conform to what is being taught there is often some sort of punishment involved. There is emotional abuse involved making the child feel less than unless they conform to the history we are ramming down their throats.

This is unpopular and yet it is still true.

Humanism is about humans, not about this race or that race or this religion or that religion, it’s about all of us.

This is what the shift and new paradigm is all about. Letting go of the past and forsaking our history so we can build in the now so our species continues and flourishes.

It might be unpopular, however it is absolutely true.

There are times where I act like a cosmic mirror of sorts and I am able to translate things into a common expression or metaphor everyone can understand. Think of it as a universal metaphor translator.

In previous pieces I’ve talked about synchronicity using the simple definition that it occurs as two or more people come together for an event or series of events.

Tonight I’m going out on Main Street in Chico California to let synchronicity do its thing. On these nights I refer to as my Community Service nights I set my intent early in week and put it out there. Unconsciously people pick this up and will guide themselves to meet up with me while it looks like a random chance meeting. At the subconscious level we do things behind our back in front of our face to line up synchronicity.

What we don’t realize is that we are in communication with each other every step of the way. We communicate at the subconscious level and our conscious mind may never catch on to what is going on.

In attaining higher levels of conscious awareness this synchronicity is more easily seen. It takes work to get to these moments and once that first meeting is had free will is still in play. It takes decisions to to do the work that keeps this one or ones in your life. The nature of that work depends on the one or ones that are in your life.

We don’t often see it as work even though we will say “This feels like work.”

Everything takes work, work is action with purpose and intent. The problem is we have attached the idea of being paid with the concept of what work is.

The idea of money has limited our view of what work is.

Right now I am working on a project that pays me nothing right now, however leads to being paid for multiple things. The work I’m doing is in refining my character for the jobs I want to do.

A company will require you to have abc skills and xyz experience and will not pay you to go get those skills and experience. This is not new, not even close to new. We simply forget all the work we do just to get a job.

Most of the work we do in life is working on our life. We work to get the job, we work to make the job work, we work to work well with those we work with. Think of the events that had to happen for you and your coworkers to arrive to share space at work.

Synchronicity is a complex machine that is all moving parts. Each of us nothing more than a cog in the machine. The machine functions as the cog functions and the cog can change the nature of the function on the machine.

This is change. We change our behavior and it changes the way we function as a cog. As one cog changes and other cogs begin to change as well. This is the 100th Monkey Effect in action. At times the behavioral changes happen at the subconscious level through repetitious exposure to a different behavior and the subconscious sees the value of the behavioral change and will do things to get one to make subtle changes leading to bigger ones.

It’s behavioral programming in simplest terms and is the results of the influences we allow in our lives.

With this new project I’ve already seen a vast change in my behavioral patterns as I set the intent to make sure my thoughts and actions lead to me performing at my best potential for this project that has the potential to lead to more than I can talk about right now.

As a Master Intuitive I’ve spent years mastering the art of change and letting my intuition guide me using the various gifts I possess. This took years of getting it wrong to achieve. There are still times I ignore my inner guidance and need a reminder lesson. I’m still human.

Synchronicity is potential meeting potential in the moment and where it goes from there depends on the work you put into the potential. OK wise ass but what does the mean?

Let me use the Law of Reflection and The Cinematic View to explain this.

Think of life as a film and the story is created on a holodek that reflects back the story based on the character you are projecting and the choices your character makes. The holographic interface is matching your character to the story it is creating based on who you are behind the mask you show the world as well as the mask you show the world. Both image and substance taken into account to create the life you interact with.

If you don’t like the story your living, make changes in the character and synchronicity will move the mirrors to better reflect the changes in your character.

Everyone else is doing this too and it has to be made to allow for everyone. Free will is the thing that screws with our life more than anything. The free will choices we make do impact other peoples lives. The free will choices other people make do impact our lives. It’s a shared reality and the reflection of our reality is created through the sum total of the projections that are all of us.

All of our thoughts go into creating a structure for the reality shared by all of us. All of our words go towards shaping and refining the structure that is one shared reality. All of our actions go towards building that one shared reality.

Synchronicity lines us up with those who are more likely to make the same choices as us in order to act in synergy for further creation and changes in the human narrative as well as in our lives.

Stay blessed everyone and remember we are blessed as we bless.

This weekend may you find what you seek. Seek well world, seek well.

That T-Shirt comes from a company owned and operated by a friend of mine, Betty “Boopster” Davis. Betty has nothing to do with why this is my favorite T-Shirt, it’s the message that Pro Human stands for that is the reason this is my favorite T-Shirt.

What do those words Pro Human mean to me and why are they so important?

One love, one race and it’s all sacred space.

That’s the really short version and for the sake of this article I will elaborate.

I have genetics from races across the globe and to me that means the sum total of humanity is my cultural background. I just happen to look like a white a guy and nothing pisses me off more than when I am treated like a white guy.

Let’s examine the concept of one race.

Human.

Raise your hand if you’re not one?

Everyone out there who thought it would be funny, not original even a little bit.

We are one human race and we come in all shapes and sizes and colors. I hate to sound like I feel like I am talking to children, however how difficult is this concept to grasp?

If I was a comedian on stage you would think it was a joke and laugh. Since it’s a wise ass Shaman, you are left with “That son of a bitch did it again.”

What’s fun for me as a Telepath is I know who at least two of you are that keep calling me a son of a bitch. Quick history lesson.

I once told my mom that I wear son of bitch like a badge of honor to honor my mother. She did not even miss a beat when she said “You damn well better.” If my own my own mother has called me that so frequently that it’s come to this, who thinks I’m going to find it insulting. It took 3 times before I asked my mom if she knew what she was calling me when I was 16. It then dawned on her what she had said. That was 26 years ago and she called me a son of a bitch last week at least once. I love my mom.

Now I realize my Telepathic skills can freak some people out and they freaked me out too. I have said things and heard people think “How did he do that?” as I said what they had been thinking as if it were my own thoughts. That’s what took me so long to catch on. I don’t “hear” your thoughts, they show in my mind as if they were my own. I spent the majority of the last 5 tears teaching myself how to stay out. I was born doing it. I am a human being.

I use a variety of techniques to dull my awareness of the thoughts of people I am dealing with. A big chunk of my charity work over the years has been with people who have intuitive gifts such as this and teaching them how to manage them better. Those who are Highly sensitive Empaths, before they find out what it is and how to manage it, we often turn to drug abuse. I am a recovered alcoholic and prescription pain pill addict. I am human.

I am a human who can do what is considered by most to be some weird shit. I get that. I tried to make it not true.

The recent suicide of Chris Cornell got me to thinking about the last time I thought about suicide. It had only been 2 years since I realized I am an Empath, Telepath and Medium and everyone in my life I was telling was exiting my life to include my 3rd wife. This was a little over 3 years ago.

3 songs having nothing to do with people like me have gone on to be anthems for us as well. I know this because back then I was an admin in a group on Facebook with over a 1,000 who found the same solace in these songs I did. I had shared them in Empath groups numbering over 10,000 world wide. Some of these groups had as many as 30,000 members.

We are human. We are Born This Way. At times we feel like We Are The Others. It’s OK to be a Freak Like Me. Who knows how many people these 3 songs have kept from going too far.

Here’s the view I take of me when it comes to gender. Do what works for you. I asked myself when in life does gender matter when sex is not involved?

It doesn’t.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

Really is it that simple?

Yep.

We all talk to ourselves and when we are wise we make productive use of it. When you’re a Medium you realize the answer is not always coming from yourself. When I seek guidance from what I could call The Angel of Death, Archangel Raphael and Archangel Zadkiel it looks like I am talking to myself. They have to speak through me to speak to me. As weird as it sounds on your end, on this side it explains why I have an IQ well over 200 in order to manage the skills I have and not have a full psychotic meltdown and be wandering the streets talking to myself and lost in an endless spiral.

I am human.

So here I am with this idea that gender doesn’t matter unless sex is on the table. If sex is not on the table, see myself with androgyny and see others the same unless for some reason sex is on the table.  Seemed simple enough. I lived it for two years. It works really well for ensuring I respect all people regardless of their plumbing as human beings first and foremost and who they like to fuck is none of my business unless it’s me they want to get down and dirty with. Otherwise who gives a fuck and why?

We are all human.

What if we acted like it?

What if we made being a human being enough?

What if we all got little more Pro Human in how we view this thing called humanity that includes all of us?

This is why that shirt up above is my favorite T-Shirt. I know I jump around a lot at times and I thank you for indulging my abstract mind. It’s in the abstract that you find the connections that exist nowhere else, yet show how connected we all are.

Happy Friday from your friendly neighborhood Rock N Roll Shaman.

If you want one of these shirts or a hat or something be sure to check out Pro Human.

I often get accused of judging people. What has happened most often is that what I said had people looking at themselves and feeling guilty and instead of acknowledging they were judging themselves, they blamed me. This is one of several reasons I have often said I wouldn’t wish my life on my worst enemy.

Being the Shaman I am, I have a knack for finding the simple truth of any situation. This often removes any delusion built up around something that allows one to rationalize or justify what is going on. I have always said the moment I feel the need to rationalize or justify my actions, I am most likely in the wrong and I can either accept it and continue on or change it. I never allow myself any excuses to myself. I know when I am being a hypocrite and I am usually the first person to call me on it.

Part of the reason behind this is a sign that used to hang in a call center I worked in. The sign read “Perfection is the goal and excellence will be tolerated.”

Setting that as your goal for behavior in life is stupid, yet I did it anyway.

I have no excuse other than my own desire to be my best at anything I do. I am hyper critical of myself. Perfection is an illusion. It doesn’t exist. We as human beings chase after this idea in various forms in life. Artists struggle with it in every creation.

I understand how flawed I am when I observe who that is. Some of my flaws are things I love the most about myself. I can handle the observational truth of my own being without judging myself or feeling guilty. This is why I often say “If you can’t handle me for me, kindly fuck off and stay there.”

We are under no requirement to like everyone or have everyone like us. I love people I down right dislike. Those people I find it is better if I love them from a silent distance. We are allowed to set healthy boundaries for ourselves based on the influences we allow in our lives. I said healthy boundaries not moral or spiritual, I said healthy.

This is where I examine why I am doing anything from a psychological view point to understand my own mental health in what I am experiencing and how it might be suffering or if I am healthy in how I am feeling about something. There are times in this exploration I find I am overreacting or have misinterpreted something. We all have triggers that are like having a button pushed for a certain emotional response. There are some things that are healthy to get angry about and somethings it is healthy to feel sorrow over.

How we act upon those emotions is another story all together. “Why did you do this to me?”

“You pissed me off. Don’t piss me off and I won’t do that.”

Anyone not read the underlying beginnings of abuse in that. The hard part is taking time away to understand where the anger is coming from and then calmly explaining it. In my 3rd marriage when things were good the last time I yelled at her this is what came out “I”M GOING OUTSIDE TO HAVE A CIGARETTE AND CALM DOWN SO I CAN STOP YELLING AT YOU BECAUSE YOU DON’T DESERVE IT!”

My anger did not validate my behavior and I knew it and I removed me from the situation. When I came back in I apologized for yelling at her and we talked it out calmly and I had taken something she said in a different way than she had meant it and I ended up feeling really stupid. It wasn’t until a few years later I ever raised my voice to her again. Then I divorced her. I removed me from the situation permanently. Things had changed, however those years that things were good, we rarely argued or got mad at each other.

When I look back honestly I don’t see who was at fault, I see two people who grew in different ways and found it hard to like each other. I don’t have an ex wife or ex girlfriend I don’t still love. I would never take any of them back. Here’s why.

There’s a lyric from this song An Apology by the band Floater that sums it up.

One thing I know by now is that in the end,
You can never swim in the same river twice.

My 3rd wife is the only woman I broke up with at one point and went back to. When we split up for the 2nd time I understood why I all I did was get a reminder lesson in why I left the first time.

We always have the power to stop ourselves.

I don’t judge myself for needing the repeat lesson. I accept the truth that I loved her and let my love give me hope and that hope never panned out. Why would any of us punish ourselves for loving someone that much. I am always happy to hear when my exes have found someone and are happy in life. If I want my own happiness it starts with wanting happiness in the lives of even those who have eaten your heart and soul in front of you. To wish anything else for their life is to judge and condemn them based on how things ended between you.

Now look at your romantic history and judge yourself but make sure you understand the truth of how and why it all happened the way it did and own your part in it too.

Now expand that view to the rest of your life.

That’s the path to awakening. It’s the path you have already walked only looking at it with new eyes. You will judge yourself along the way, however remember we are all only human, so go easy on you and learn the lessons and do it better in the now. It’s all any of us can do.

That is one truth I have observed in humanity is that potential to do it better. It’s always there if we allow ourselves to find it on the inside.

The only thing that ever stops us is us.

Fuck fear and do it your way anyway.